dealing with some stuff i guess

to all the people out there romanticizing the fuck out of mental illnesses and especially mentally ill artists: kindly fuck off. 

it’s not romantic to be depressed and an artist.

depression (or other mental illnesses) doesn’t help creativity.
quite the contrary.

i usually draw two to three pieces a week on top of multiple sketches, even with my work for school. 

my depression and some other not fun stuff have gotten way worse since december and guess what? 

i didn’t create more

i’m having trouble doing the simplest things on photoshop or on paper. some days i can’t even think of drawing without having a panic attack. i’ve been working on pieces for weeks, pieces that usually take me a day to complete.

the artistic part of my brain is literally buried under depression, anxiety, dissociation and morbid thoughts. 

so fucking stop with this.

so I guess instead of making a proper witchsona I made a WITCHSONA AU

me and @keycrash did some talking about it under the cut but basically:

akane: ridiculously talented witch. likes to astral project, deals in spacetime fuckery, owns a little store in the city where people can buy supplies and services, book appointments, etc. very chronically ill, doesn’t show herself often.

aoi: akane’s secretary, sort of. he’s officially a hedge witch, does a lot of domestic stuff, cooking, protective charms, very practical things, whatever. but he minds akane’s shop and takes care of her orders and things like that. not naturally talented like akane but worked very very hard.

light: green witch, good with herbal remedies and medicinal tinctures. makes some stuff for akane from time to time. gets asked if he’s the seer of the field family a lot bc he’s blind.

clover: REALLY INTO DIVINATION AND STUFF. she likes to tell fortunes and read tarot and aoi’s like that stuff’s bullshit but she loves it. she’ll commune with spirits every so often just for kicks

THERE’S MORE BUT HERE’S THESE GUYS ANYWAYS. we thought out some stuff on the vlr crew but they can come later I like these guys best

Keep reading

Seven Things About Supernatural: 12x13 - “Family Feud”

I try to go into Buckleming episodes with an open mind.  Yes, I also acknowledge that they’re among the least technically skilled (or at least among the worst at really hitting the mark for this particular show) on the team, but I try not to be the guy who hates them out of hand.  

DAMN IF THEY ARE NOT MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TONIGHT.

  1. What’s the deal with Clan MacLeod this week?  We were firmly in frenemies/mutually beneficial arrangement territory and then suddenly this ep it’s all high antagonism.  Was there a regrettable incident involving a bowl of Cheerios that got cut out of 12x12?  

    Also, Crowley’s attachment to Gavin seemed out of proportion to the interactions we’ve seen.  While we can guess/imagine some stuff, viewers need a little more than that to be able to feel any sort of connection to a character who’s angry and suffering.  

    They do want us to do that, right?

    Really, the only thing in the whole MacLeod Family Drama that had much punch was Rowena revealing that her willingness to help the Winchesters was seated in a desire to punish Crowley for Oskar’s death.
  2. Okay, but can Buckleming write just one episode that isn’t rapey?  Just one?  One tiny episode?  It isn’t difficult!  Hell, they had to shoehorn it in this time!  Argh.
  3. So we got answers about the Lucifer thing from LOTUS, which is nice.  Unfortunately, those answers appear to be that Crowley might not underestimate the Winchesters, but apparently he’s more than happy to underestimate Lucifer.  

    Like, this isn’t just a bad plan.  It’s a bad plan with a million points of failure that you monologued in front of your victim.  Whatever potential ego benefit there may be, whatever boost in credibility having Lucifer in chains might confer, this shit ain’t worth it.  Crowley, sweetheart, what the fuck.
  4. So that case resolution was anticlimactic.  

    Show: Hey look, weird deaths!  Oh hey, we know someone who knows something!  Oh hey, it makes sense that it’s this person, and here’s a really obvious pattern!  Hey, we were totally right!  Hey, here’s a possible resolution that folks are okay with, and the only person who disagrees is easily stopped!  Oh hey, we were able to easily carry this out!  Oh hey, all the bad stuff looks like it was totally reversed by our efforts!  Go team!  

    Me: *…*

    Show: Uh, have some family conflict?  

    Me:  *…*

    The CW: Oh, and you don’t get a promo this week either.

    Like, I guess the upshot is that we’ve tied up the Gavin loose end?  It’s just…wow, pointless and I feel pretty much nothing.  Which is a shame, because this could have been incredible with more prep.
  5. I’m liking Dagon.  I would have expected to see her arrive an ep or two later, but given that she and Lucifer are apparently in communication, and this was Crowley’s “I have you right where I want you” episode, I’m good with it.  
    Her pitch to Kline was pretty standard “demons get a bad rap, and look at how badly the good guys have treated you” fare, and with Lucifer banking on his incoming Nephilim son to foil Crowley’s plan, yeah. Okay.  I’m curious what she used to send angels up in a puff of smoke – Ramiel certainly didn’t do that with Cas! – but overall, I’m into it. Here’s hoping she gets to be more than just a semi-disposable mini-boss.  
  6. I want better for Kelly Kline in so many ways.  She is scared, she’s being tossed around by forces she can’t control or understand, people and things so much more dangerous than she is are everywhere.  Well-meaning wait staff (who turn out to be murderous angels) say ominous things in cafes.
  7. Okay, so we’ve subverted the “Mary is doing a S6 Cas” thing.  This is good in a Changing The Winchester Paradigm sort of way.  We’re not going to spend half a season lying and keeping secrets and coming out of it with I can’t trust  you because you lied to me, and so on.  This is good.  This is interesting.

    And, in light of Ketch’s apparent attempt at undermining her loyalties (e.g. let’s get a drink, don’t tell your sons, family makes you weak, etc.), we see Mary doing something remarkable: she goes to the boys, comes clean, and tries to make her case.  

    She’s making a questionable choice, but she’s not falling for the whole seduction, or being sucked in on the BMoL’s terms.  She’s not allowing them to isolate her.  Which, given that being isolated by questionable choices is how Sam, Dean, and Cas have all fucked up in the past, is also pretty fucking interesting.  

Bonus Thing: Dean Winchester in a museum  dicking around with things he shouldn’t dick around with is my jam.  As I said on Twitter: he is beauty, he is grace, he drops shit and he makes that face.

Bonus Thing #2: So Sam’s casting spells.  That’s fun.  It’d be even more fun if those spells had, say, continuity of function instead of working on low pillars instead of doors and turning dead Scottish people into lemon-flavored Jedi…

Bonus Thing #3: I am awarding credit for the episode title, what with the MacLeod and Winchester families having Differences internally and with one another, as well as the bit between Crowley and Lucifer about their offspring.

Real quick, I just wanted to say thank you for all the sweet messages/comments you guys have been leaving me after the last post. It really means a lot knowing there are people who enjoy my art and who are rooting for me :’) I’m sorry if I haven’t answered anyone’s message, I’m really tired and dealing with some personal stuff but I’ll do the best I can to answer you (I know I said this in the anon ask I answered but progress with all this has been slow). I hope to be back in the swing of things soon. Thank you again for your support. (I guess this wasn’t real quick LOL)

I cannot be the only one out here who is extremely disappointed in the lack of Fantastic Beasts merch

I mean, there is some merch but come ON warnerbros

I guess I’m spoiled by the entire planet’s worth of Harry Potter merchandise out there but SERIOUSLY

where is newt’s suitcase? where are macusa cushions?

Where Are My Fantastic Beasts Top Trumps Cards?

and

most importantly

most incredibly urgently

WHERE IS MY CUDDLY TOY NIFFLER

yeehaw!!

i got tagged by @buginettedupaincheng thanks u cool cat

nickname: gale?? i guess bc i prefer gale but don’t really ask people lmao

star sign: gemini

height: 5′3″ the tallest person u will ever meet

fave music artist: the ready set!! helps me deal with and acknowledge my depression n also cute catchy songs

last tv show watched: criminal minds that one where they kidnap the kid n the kid is like “ahh im yellin” n they catch a bad guy and stuff

what kind of stuff do i post: humor and That Fun Depression™ and probably some dogs. also fandomy stuff like voltron, yuri on ice, miraculous ladybug, etc etc etc

do you have other blogs: yeah!! i have an aesthetic/nsfw blog so if ur into that ask me for it or i think its in my links?? idk but yeah

why did you choose your url: when i made this blog it was mostly voltron so i wanted a voltron url, and pidge is the light of my life. also i like shitposts

hogwarts house: slytherin!! which is p cool bc its easier to find merch 

pokemon team: the yellow one with the memes

fave color: pink!! i love pink its soft and also pastel colors in general 

how many blankets do u sleep with: rn its just one

following: 1021 but im lookin for more yuri on ice and miraculous blogs so. if yall got any recs that would be the bee’s knees

followers: 145 but at least 10 are probably porn bots

im supposed to tag 20 ppl i wanna get to know but that always freaks me out so here are the last 20 ppl in my activities(i copied this from @buginettedupaincheng god bless) 

@narwhalsarefalling @chatchevalier @alex-fierros @voltmom @resistanceangel @theofficialpresidentoftheusa @kinkmasterthalia @gaylien76 @butt-puncher @miraculouslester @skeletons-with-illegal-melons @mymoonlitmusings @pidgegundarson @keiths-eyebrows @captainholt @cakerunning @pizzadinosaur-massacre @agentaace @techgremlin @mynameispeterwentz 

hey thanks to the guys sending nice messages!!!! its highly appreciated thanks a lot
im sorry i’m bein a baby about this but ive never had to deal with this kinda stuff before and now i’m just a tad overwhelmed
i’m just pretty pissed that people would just repost my shit instead of just sending me anon hate like adults and have it be done with, i mean whats the thought progress here?
“weh weh this teenager drew a game character fat on the internet how d a r e they” its like ok
i guess i gotta learn how to deal with this now

Saturday game plan is to keep working on this book for as long as I can this morning, then I said I’d help my mom unpack some stuff at the new house around 1130 (their furniture and stuff is getting moved on Thursday, but she’s seemed insistent on making many trips to move stuff herself; I guess it’s mostly horse equipment and plants, idk). Then back home to do some homework with James and more book work if I haven’t met my 4-hour goal for the day (currently at 1.5, plus 1 from last night, so not too bad). We also need to deal with our apartment leasing office because those assholes are closed on Sundays, and I’d really like to go for a short run.

Weekends lately really just mean I don’t go to my office or do anything editing related to government. 

…. uhhhh an alternate ending to this piece i guess hasklgh;a

idk i just wanted to draw a cute little kiss b/c i saw some cute fanart and. y eah

if she wasn’t right in front of him he’d probably be spitting blood right now

Poison Ivy

Pairing: Alexander Hamilton x reader

Words: 517

Warnings: none

Request: Requested by anonymous: Can you do a Hamilton x reader where Hamilton tries to show off his “amazing” gardening skills but instead he end up making the reader and himself get poison ivy and for the next week the reader has to deal with his whining?

A/N: I mentioned this in my last fic a tiny bit but yo I just made an art blog in case anyone cares? Like, I had one before, but some stuff happened so I deleted it and made a new one.

“Are you sure this is safe, Alexander?” You looked at the familiar plants scattered around you in the forest.

“Yeah! If you just- grab these-” Alex grabbed a handful of leaves, shoving them into your hands. “And then take them back to the group, we’ll be able to use the leaves for tinder!”

“I guess.” You sighed, grabbing a few more leaves before making your way back to the camp.

You idly scratched a small itch that made its way onto your hands as you tossed the leaves into the dim fire. Lafayette looked up, seeing you.

“Welcome back. Where’s Alex?” He questioned, not seeing Alex, who was still gathering plants.

“He’s still getting stuff.” You explained, taking a seat next to Hercules.

“Uh, Y/N? What plant was that?” John asked you, holding back a laugh.

“I don’t know. Alex handed it to me.” You shrugged, still itching your hands absentmindedly.

“Yeah, never trust his gardening skills. That’s poison ivy.” John finally gave up, bursting into laughter at your reaction.

“Oh my god he is so dead!” You yelled, standing up. You turned to run into the woods to find Alex, when you nearly ran into him. He was standing near the fire, next to Lafayette.

“Uh…” He hurriedly dropped the ivy, tossing it to the side. It just so happened to be where Lafayette was sitting.

“Hey! I’m innocent I did nothing wrong!” He shrieked, pushing the plant onto the ground.

You couldn’t help but laugh, before groaning in frustration at the itches that crawled up your arms.

“I can’t handle this!” You huffed, angrily taking your spot next to Hercules.

“Sorry Y/N…” Alex groaned, before taking  seat between Lafayette and John.

“This is why you need supervision.” Hercules scolded.

“Yeah, ok, dad.” Alex grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting. You couldn’t help but giggle at how cute he was.

“Y/N, I hate this!” Alex called through the apartment. You groaned in response.

“I’m not having fun either, Alex!” You walked into the room he was in. You collapsed onto the couch in front of him.

“I just want this to end.” Alex mumbled, pouting. You nearly laughed, but the frustration of not being able to scratch the itches that climbed up your arms was too much.

“Yeah, well this is all your fault anyway.” You leaned over to grab the remote, turning on a movie.

You couldn’t even pay attention because Alex kept complaining about the poison ivy.

This was going to be a long week.

3

That last panel always gets me. This whole comic is one of my favorites. Its the aftermath after some pretty bad stuff, and seeing with these characters deal with recent events is pretty heartbreaking. And this is my favorite part. When Silver sees the man he thought was the traitor in the hospital bed, it tears me up. I mean for God’s sake, LOOK AT THE LIGHTING IN THE LAST PANEL! I don’t know how, but they got cool ass lighting (Chalk that up to the amazing art, I guess). These comics are criminally underrated. Sorry for the long text block, but I just wanted to get that out there.

Hi. Sorry if this get long, thats why Im using submit. So my family and I never thought of me being autistic but since Ive discovered blogs like yours I can relate so much. Im a picky eater, love vegetables like beetroot and carrot but if they are cooked or grated I cant stand it. Idek how to describe, they get kinda “watery” and soft and it grosses me out? Things like jelly and yogurt gross me out too, even if I enjoy the taste I cant stand how it feels in my mouth. Im vegetarian, but got a similar problem with some kinds of fake meat cause I cant stand the texture. My parents always dismissed that as me being picky but it wasnt a big deal, since I used to cook my own food even when I still lived with em.

And I guess I stim? I rotate things like pencils and pens between my fingers, and bite stuff whenever Im feeling anxious or nervous or bored. I actually had to learn to control the biting stuff cause it was affecting my teeth but again, my dad is a dentist so he “trained” this behavior out of me when I was younger so even though I still do it a lot, it doesnt get me severe health problems. 

And Im not sure if it counts as a special interest, but I have kinda obsession with movies and books. Sometimes I start a book and dont put it down till I finish and I easily go with hours of reading. Like reading the book in classes and skipping lunch and reading all afternoon and getting something to eat when Im really hungry and eating while still reading the book and not sleeping so I can read more. So since I was a kid I would end huge books in less than a day. Sometimes it happens with other stuff, like I get obsessed with one topic - Wong Kar Wai, movies about bullying, or Freud, and I do research and learn everything I can. Once I got really into a movie the day it was released and it hadnt any subtitles yet so none of my friends could watch it (english is not our language). I sat there and did the subtitles myself in a matter of hours to show it to my friends, so they would discuss the movie with me. I rarely forget the things I learn during these phases and my friends say Im like a encyclopedia of weird culture, but I never got much trouble for it. Yea sure people usually go with “WHY do you even know this stuff” but in a impressed way, you know? I went to the university to study communication and media, and in a lot of classes we can choose the topic to our articles and essays, so I usually combine my interests with academic research. 

But I have problems in other aspects of life, I guess? I cant stand an office job so Im working as freelancer right now. Also I have a real hard time with empathy and communicating emotions so I never really had a relationship (Im 24yo).  Im pretty social but after I usually need quiet alone time in a silent room, lights out. Like, I enjoy when friends come to visit for holidays or a weekend or maybe a whole week, but after they are gone I need a couple “no human contact” days before getting back to normal life.

Maybe those are things allistic people do too, in some degree? Although I think about the fact that autism is usually better diagnosed in white boys and since I dont fit the category… I dont know. But blogs like yours do help a lot. Like Im thinking about getting one of those chewable jewelry stuff, and Im more comfortable telling people that I cant do stuff cause I really need to spent the day alone and not see other people. And letting they know how important my interests are to me, and they need to respect that. Ok I dont really have a point with this I just needed to elaborate those feelings and thank you for everything you guys do. Despise not having a diagnosis, people like you have been helping deal with a lot of stuff, and to better understand myself, and it really is making my life better. 


Glad to help!!

Creepypasta #931: The Voices Aren't What You Need To Fear

Length: Medium

Since I can remember, I’ve always heard voices. They’re nearly always muffled, like hearing someone talking in the apartment next door, but I’ve occasionally been able to make out a few words here and there. Things like “returning,” “ancient,” “dangerous”. Nothing terribly pleasant. They also seem to refer to something I’ve never heard before, but the best guess I’ve got is “Syndougre,” whatever the hell that is.

Of course, I’ve gone to doctors about the problem, but every time I get put on a new medication I deal with some really unpleasant side-effects. Stuff like massive headaches, hallucinations, even some pretty major constipation. Given my violent reactions to the meds, and the disturbing, yet seemingly mild symptoms of my subconscious, the doctors decided it’s best to just leave it how it is. At least, until it gets worse.

It was one particular evening my buddy and I went camping when it happened. We spent a good deal of the evening trying to scare each other with the best ghost stories we could come up with. I was trying to creep him out making something up about the voices I hear, but he knew I could rarely make out any words anyway. We went way back.

We somehow got on the more philosophical topic of why people are generally afraid of the dark, especially the forest. Something about an innate knowledge of the dangers that lurk within. To us, it made a bit of sense, and we made sure to keep the fire going. Nothing ruins a camping trip like getting mauled by a pack of wolves, am I right?

I was tending the fire, putting on another log, when the sounds of the forest stopped dead. I mean no owls, no wolves, not even any crickets made a sound. It lasted for a solid minute before we heard a deafening shriek. Like someone screaming while sucking air in, combined with an elephant and a tire screeching.

I don’t need to tell you we both froze, shivers running wild across our spines. Unfortunately, that’s when I finally heard the voices. That’s when I knew.

“It’s them, the Syndougre. We have to get outta here, NOW!”

“What? Why? Man, you’re always trying to-”

“I heard them. And they were clear.”

My buddy looked me over as I frantically packed up the essentials. He could tell this time I wasn’t joking.

“Well…wha-what did they say?”

I looked at him, all blood drained from my face as I recalled the voice that had pierced my mind like a mystical needle, as if from some supernatural mentalist. A single word, clear as day.

“Run.”

Credits to: Zchxz

4

Guess who’s finally getting up on that commission train?

Due to some life stuff I’m having trouble affording things like school supplies(I’m an art student) and transportation to and from work and school (I don’t drive).

Details:

  • All sketches will be, simple and relatively clean. Nothing too crazy.
  • I’m open to all Muses, OCs and otherwise!
  • No NSFW, I am open to drawing most nudity though.
  • And please no backgrounds!
  • Any extra characters in a scene will be an additional $4, the 2 for $8 deal is two separate sketches sold in a bundle.
  • You can pay immediately or after I send you a thumbnail.
  • Here’s a guide that’ll help us from having any mix ups in the process.
  • Finally, If you’re interested just hmu in my ask box or shoot me a message, and Ill give you my information!

Thanks so much for your time!

anonymous asked:

Cheryl refused to comment on if the baby was Liam's. So that means it's not. <- or let me take a stab at this. Perhaps her silence is her extremely polite way of saying that's an extremely rude question and none of anyone's damn business. Where in the hell do ppl and this fandom get off thinking to ask that question of someone they do not know? i refuse to tolerate assholery like that. Get some manners. Those fans have gone too far.

But as far as I know she hasn’t responded to any questions about the baby at all, let alone having to hear or deal with a question like that.

So I’m guessing that someone’s used “she’s refusing to comment about the baby” to extrapolate into “she’s refusing to say it’s Liam’s” so they could tinhat about a baby like the other successful Birthers we’ve still got laying around.

They’re basically making stuff up to justify some new immaculate conception fantasy because they’re so in denial that men and women date and men impregnate women sometimes and that no man is forced to pretend to be a baby’s father because of evil contracts.