Companion Reactions To: The Butterfly Sword Enchantment
So Mod Katalyna and Mod Sarah were talking about the Butterfly Sword from DA:O and thought, “What if Iron Bull was given the Butterfly Sword?” and it snowballed from there, so here’s our nutty Skype conversation, edited for you all to enjoy. It has spawned a new tag, as well, in the event that this sort of thing happens again (which it probably will, let’s be honest. #mods are cray, after all!).
Dagna: She gets to work immediately on figuring out the enchantment. She wants it so bad. Once she figures it out, she will happily enchant any and everything the Herald wants enchanted with it. But the first thing she does with it (to make sure it works, of course) is enchant Harritt’s favorite hammer. He gets so very mad that she finally agrees to remove the enchantment.
Cassandra: She scoffs in disgust at the enchantment and rolls her eyes when Bull wants to take the Butterfly Sword along. “It’s an eyesore,” she comments, but it doesn’t stop him. If Romanced: the Inquisitor presents to her a rose with the enchantment, and she scoffs, but secretly likes it and keeps it in her room.
Blackwall: He’s kind of put off by it. He thinks it’s not particularly manly. If Romanced: the Inquisitor enchants all of his Grey Warden armor and stuff with the Butterfly enchantment after finding out the truth. He remarks that it’s one way to keep him from using it again, and she snarks that maybe he won’t lie to her again.
Iron Bull: This is the happiest damn qunari in the world; he thinks it’s beautiful. He revels in killing dragons with it. If Romanced: the Inquisitor has Dagna enchant armor made from a dragon they killed for him. He almost starts crying when he sees the Inquisitor’s present to him. “You’re the best, Kadan!” he weeps.
Sera: Sera gets all rights to the enchantment taken away from her because she tries to enchant the ENTIRETY OF SKYHOLD with it. And nearly blows the whole thing up in the process. If Romanced: a romanced Inquisitor enchants their roof on the tavern with it for her, instead. They proceed to bang on it. Multiple times.
Cole: He would like the enchantment because it makes some people really happy. He gives butterfly enchanted things to people when they’re feeling down. Sometimes they’re completely random items, like a bar of soap or part of a broken earring. And sometimes they’re meaningful things to the person, and then the enchantment because an actual, substantial way to help. If Cole is made more human and dates Maryden, he gives her a silk butterfly with the enchantment. She wears it in her hair when she performs.
Varric: He says he’s worried that it’ll attract LITERALLY EVERYTHING hostile to come attack them because it’s so bright. Grumbles every time something with the rainbow butterfly enchantment is used as a result.
If he didn’t fear for his life, he’d consider having the backs of Cassandra’s copies of Swords and Shields enchanted with it to troll her. Or
maybe just the last page, but he finds a way to hide that the last page
is enchanted until she actually turns to the page.
Dorian: He eyes it in disdain and wrinkles his nose at it. If In A Romance With Iron Bull: “It’s so you, Amatus.” he says as dryly as possible. Bull grins and pulls him in for a tight hug. “Thanks, Kadan!” he replies cheerfully. If In A Romance With The Inquisitor: The Inquisitor enchants something naughty with it (like a dildo) and gives it to Dorian as a gift. Or better yet, he enchants a small likeness of Dorian with it! Because this enchantment literally IS Dorian.
Vivienne: She just rolls her eyes. She thinks it’s gaudy. She does her best to avoid it and generally just doesn’t let herself get sucked into all this shit. She’s too Orlesian for this.
Solas: He rolls his eyes because he thinks it’s a dumb enchantment that serves no real purpose other than to be ugly. He stays out of the shenanigans, mostly. Low Approval: the enchantment is mysteriously removed from all of Skyhold periodically. No one is quite sure why or how. It doesn’t stay gone long, of course. If Romanced: The Inquisitor has all of his underwear enchanted with the butterfly enchantment after he breaks up with her. It shines through his pants. If he tries to go commando to avoid the sparkles, everyone knows he’s going commando. Any attempts he makes to get rid of the enchanted underwear and replace it results in the new underwear also receiving the enchantment. He can’t escape it. POST-TRESPASSER: an Inquisitor who romanced Solas and enchants his underwear when he breaks up with her, and says “Var lath vir suledin,” to him in Trespasser returns to her room at some point to find something of hers that had personal meaning between the two of them (like one of his paint brushes or something) has mysteriously been given the butterfly enchantment. And she laughs through her tears because it means he’s watching out for her and he still loves her. (Mod Katalyna says: “Let me rip out your heart, Fenris style!”)
Leliana: She gets a hood for Dagna to enchant and gives it to agents who fail missions. It comes to be called “the hood o’ shame.”
Josephine: She likes it and gets like a teacup enchanted to be sparkly and spawning imaginary butterflies. Or her inkwell. Or both. If Romanced: The Herald gives her a sparkly rainbow butterfly rose, and she giggles endlessly and keeps it on her desk where she greets dignitaries. When people ask about it, she blushes. And if the Inquisitor is there at the time, they just kiss her blushing cheek and neither of them explains a thing.
Cullen: He spends a long time trying to ignore all the butterfly shit. When his soldiers start getting their swords enchanted, he has to put his foot down. It is so unsubtle that he can’t allow it because it risks lives. But he has to relent and allow the practice blades to be enchanted with it because the soldiers grumble about it. Morale goes up. If Romanced: The Inquisitor enchants a tiny pebble with it and leaves it somewhere in his office, just to mess with him. And he throws it out his window. So she replaces it and makes it harder to get at. It gets thrown out the window, too. Eventually, there’s a small mountain of these fucking pebbles on the mountainside outside Cullen’s window. He starts to look out his window at this mini mountain of butterfly pebbles while she’s away and miss her, hoping she’s safe. She’d always leave one just before she left on a mission. He’d keep it on his desk (once he located the damn thing) until she got back, at which point he would make a show of throwing it from the battlements to land at her feet. All her companions would tease her about it as they approach the bridge into Skyhold. “Look out, Inquisitor, Cullen has it in for your feet!”
Krem: He sees the sword before Bull does and thinks “Oh NO, when the Chief sees this…” He tries to hide, but of course, when Bull sees it, he easily finds him in desire to show him. “KREM, COME CHECK OUT THIS BADASS SWORD OVER HERE!” And he’s stuck listening to Bull coo over a rainbow sword for the next three weeks straight. Krem knows Bull is gonna be sighing over (and probably sexually stroking) that sword for weeks, and he just doesn’t want to deal with it and tries to run away but can’t escape.
If you capture Florianne instead of killing her, part of her punishment (no matter what you decide to do with her) is to always be wearing something with this enchantment. Because it is so completely not fashionable, and for no other reason.
Corifypiss appears written in the butterfly enchantment on Venatori correspondence that makes its way to Corypheus (or his general) courtesy of Sera, Leliana, and Dagna.
How are you holding up with Cas' death?? I'm still so angry that they did this shit again... I've never hated writers like i do the spn writers.. they're fucking horrible
Hiiiii i hope you’re doing well 😘😍
As you can imagine I’m livid i don’t know how to rant anymore, this whole season has been pure bullshit from the begining to the end and ruinee cas so much i don’t recognize him anymore
Like seriously an angel who saw humans be created, who watched endless births who in 8x10 was better than any human doctor and knows medical jargon ect.. (i’m a premed student i found that really hot, made me love cas even more) now needs to fucking google it? I don’t even understand wtf he was doing he kept kelly safe went to au world saw bobby (at first i fangirled like crazy thinking it was meg even if i know better) came back did nothing then for some bs reason he went to the au world to fight lucy when it wasn’t necessary then just died with barely two lines and no fight scene
And to top it off they show how “badass” mary is by making her kick lucifer’s ass ? You want me to buy that sijiled knuckle thungys make a human better than a fucking angel who has a fucking eternity of fucking fighting experience ??? The 3rd time they brought down cas purely to overhype mary. Wanna make her badass? Just fucking make her badass no need to bring down anyone
THE WORST PART IN THIS IS THEY REDUCED MISHA’S SCREENTIME JUST TO MAKE HIS 100TH EPISODE, A BIG DEAL AND REASON TO BE HAPPY AND CELEBRATE, THE EPISODE HE GETS KILLED OFF IN THE CHEAPEST MOST DISGRACEFUL WAY POSSIBLE TO BE DICKS
Even when i was mentally prepared to be royally screwed over and disappointed they still managed to outdo my worst expectations that’s real talent here
S12 has been complete shit, everything was all over the place bmol were boring af even tvd didn’t reach this level of pathetic, everyone died but the winchesters ofc
I srill stand by my point mary coming back is meh, dean blaming her for the azazel deal without which he’d never be conceived at all
Seriously i’m well known for hating sera era to no end but now dabb era is even worse, he succeeded into making cas completely unrecognizable and a mess i don’t understand him anymore, he made sure to engrave that cas can’t fight and is a complete dumbass he can shove thzt bullshit up his ass
And destiellers ofc worshipped him because he destroyed cas to no ebd then baited them with a cheap halfassed scenes and they were happy about it ignoring cas again, who needs haters when your own fand don’t defend you or defend the shitty writing you’re subjected to tgrough bullshit metas insyead of stand up for you
Apparently it’s not a permanent death but idgaf i’m a masochist so i might be too curious to see how they can possibly do worse on s13 but i won’t even watch cas eps cause idgaf about spn just yt scenes when i’m too bored
It should’ve ended back on s9 with cas undoing metadouche spell through sacrificing himself then chuck brings him back as archangel, sam went through with the trials, kevin doesn’t die dean doesn’t take the mark but fights angels instead and hunts deals with sam’s loss (aybe resents cas for beinv part of the fall since if it didn’t happen then bringibg back sam would’ve been easy) then cas brings back sam the world is safer they.re happy with kids bla bla they die cut to all the dead characterw reunitibg in heaven carry on my wayward son
Voila a lousy med student with no writing skills made a better ending than people paid to insult our intelligence
I’m judt completely done and running out of fucks to give i’ll just stick to fanon writing/ vidding cas in fix its cause even if i give up spn i’ll never give up cas
A/N: Originally, this was suppose to be the last part but I decided to extend it one more part.
“Steve,” You tried to speak loud and clear but it came out in a low, raspy whisper. Steve kept busting around your room, tossing things in your bag that would last you several weeks. You stood by the door while watching him with wide eyes and didn’t bother helping him. Your mind still rang with past events that had only happened hours before.
“Steve,” You tried again to push the words out of your throat. “Steve, what are you doing?” Although your voice was still raspy and low, you knew he heard you.
He didn’t bother to stop what he was doing, “You have to leave.”
“What-” You snapped out of your dazed phase and spoke up a little louder. “Steve why-”
“You have to leave,” He repeated, “It’s not safe here, Y/n. Not with…not with who you saw on the bridge and I saw…and-” He stumbled over his words, not knowing how to address the whole situation. That was a game changer, one that nobody even suspected.
A/N: I dunno when the next 2 parts to this will be out. I have plans the next 2 days and I’m having some epic writer’s block right now so I hope to have them out tomorrow night, but I can’t make any promises. Sorry guys.
How about a hospital AU where Eren and Mikasa are patients together? The morbidity in me wants them to have a serious, incurable thing but it's your call.
I seem to always write
New Year’s fics in hospitals lol but I really thought this would be cute as a
holiday fic. I actually fell in love with this AU as I wrote it, like how
precious would they be. I did have it be longer term illness but I tried not to
specify too much since I don’t have too much medical knowledge and I didn’t
wanna get anything incorrect. I really did enjoy this more than I thought I
would so thank you for sending it!
The bottoms of Eren’s slippers scuffed at the pure white
floor of the hospital. The lights were dim in the hallways since it was
technically after hours but at least it was quiet tonight; no machines beeping
aggressively, no nurses rushing around the halls, no one crying out. It was
almost serene, well, if he knew he wasn’t walking through a hospital. In the
least, maybe everyone in his ward would have a good New Year’s Eve. The nurses
usually gave them sparkling cider so there was that too.
He poked his head around the corner and saw one nurse
carrying fresh blankets into another room but that was it. Eren stepped out
into the hallway, walking the familiar path to the next ward over. His robe swung
by his legs but even though it was December he still didn’t find it that cold
whereas other people would bundle up with their robe tight around them just to
step out of their room. Well, when they were allowed to.
So technically, he wasn’t supposed to be out past lights out
but it was New Year’s Eve. Who wanted to sit alone in a hospital room and watch
the ball drop? Boring. He’d rather sleep if that was the case.
He couldn’t really remember a time he wasn’t at this
hospital; though admittedly after his surgery as a baby he did pretty well up
until a few years ago when he declined in health a bit but like any kid, you
spent a lot of time at your parent’s work. Where other people would get caught
in a second, he at least knew all the ins and the outs, as well as the nurse’s
shifts which helped significantly. Being able to charm the nurses for
information helped too.
and here’s the father’s love guys. he’s protecting his daughter.
and idk- i feel kinda happy because here, finally, Sarada, she’s so close with her father face.
3. SASUKE’S WIFE AND SARADA’S MOTHER IS COMING. SHANNAROOO!!!
oh hell yeah my cherry blossom.
Sarada, she knew it was her mother. and lol Naruto’s and Sasuke’s face. they’re like “dafuq is just going on?” XD
4. A FAMILY CONVERSATION.
finally, they can meet and talk. finally, Sasuke act like a real father. but idk- is he trying to protect Sakura? “you’re not the one who should be apologizing” or is he just- HAH IDK. but- i’m glad and thanks Kishi for this chapter. I am happy for the Uchiha Family reunion and moment.
5. SASUSAKU MOMENT
……..shit. what Sasuke? BUT.. YOU JUST.. WHAT? damnit. i’m curious.
6. THE UCHIHA FAMILY
7. THE SEVENTH HOKAGE- BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! IS IT JUST ME WHO LAUGH SO HARD OVER THIS PART? I MEAN- THAT KATANA- THAT FACES- THE LATE REACTION- AND SASUKE’S HAND- WHAT THE HELL IS JUST GOING ON HERE? IT’S ALL A JOKE. BAHAHAHA- *cough* i’m sorry. forgive me. I love Naruto, rlly. i’m sorry.
Sooo, i can’t wait for the next chapter! i think everything will be okay from now on SasuSakuSara fans, we can take a breath and yeah i hope we won’t deal with the “angst” anymore. because, really, i just want to relax and watch over my badass OTP and their happy ending :D
and OMG. THE UCHIHA FAMILY IS A TOTAL BADASS, YOU JUST WAIT TILL MY SARADA GROW UP AND BE AS STRONG AS HER FATHER AND MOTHER.
Can i get 31, 32 and 36 with quicksilver pretty pleeease ;)
31. … well, this is awkward. | 32. I’m going to kiss you now. | 36. You put the ass in assassin. Prompt idea list here
“(Y/n)! I’m here to save you!” Peter said frantically as he entered the room. His whole body was tensed up. He was expecting some big dramatic fight, but you had it taken care of. His jaw dropped as he looked around and saw the bad guys, motionless, on the floor.
“… well, this is awkward,” you said as you knocked the last guy unconscious.
Peter gaped at you. “You… you took out all these guys by yourself?”
You shrugged, like it was no big deal. “Yeah.”
“Wow.” He whistled as he walked over to you, thoroughly impressed. “I’m dating the most badass person ever! You even look good when you beat people up! You put the ass in assassin.”
You laughed. “You came all this way to rescue me? That’s so sweet! I’m going to kiss you now.” You grabbed his face and pulled it towards you, surprising him. “Thanks for the effort, but I had it under control.”
He blushed. “I see that now, (y/n). But you know I’d do anything for you!”
Also, can we talk about Barry, the black raptor trainer? Like okay don’t get me wrong, Chris Pratt being dirty animal trainer badass dude is great and all but Omar Sy being a handsome, empathetic raptor trainor AND rocking a pink shit? Sign me the fuck up. But in all seriousness Barry reminds me SO much of my field biology friends. My degree is in environmental management, I have worked in places that have large populations of large animals. I have been in places, worked in places, where people get hurt or killed because they can’t appreciate an animal without taming it in their minds. They want to be close to that thing but they have no respect for what it can do. And like, Barry is literally the embodiment of the way I, and a lot of people in the the field feel about animals and how animals, especially large predators, are dealt with by people who have not invested the time or work in understanding them.
Barry looked at those animals and saw them for what they were, animals. Not weapons, certainly, but not toys either, not rides or animatronics, not something we as human beings have complete control of. Intelligent, organized, feeling animals. They don’t recognize the order of dominion that we as humans have set up. He didn’t need to be the guy with the clicker and the feed bucket to understand them, to respect the kind of power that lives in a large predator. Even when Pratt was out being a badass, Barry was the one standing at the gate, because those raptors, imprinted or not, are high level thinking animals and animals don’t always do what you think they will. Barry had the perfect balance of understanding, respect, and fear. And not only did he uphold that idea, his words were proved over and over again in the film( and he still got to live to the end so yay!) And, I’ll be real here, while it’s refreshing to see a movie where people are dealing with large predators in realistic, scientific ways, it was also nice to see that character played by Omar Sy.
It was so nice to see Barry’s character as a person with animal experience, with a connection to that animal, who still knows and acknowledges that that animal is smart enough to know he isn’t one of them, who understands and accepts that his control of his world is limited when it comes to these raptors. He’s not afraid of them, when he’s in contact with them, when he talks to them, he’s gentle and empathetic with them. He also won’t stay piped down when military moron guy starts thinking he is going to use them as weapons. I was just really cool to see a black actor playing this person( who i hardcore head canon as a biologist) who understands these animals and how they fit into the ecosystem, who understands and appreciates these animals for what they are but also knows where humans fall into that.
Here’s the deal with the Throne of Glass series: IT ISN’T A LOVE STORY. IT ISN’T ABOUT THE TEAMS OR THE SHIPPING. It is literally a story about a badass fire-breathing bitch queen saving her kingdom. It is a story of her fight, and her growth, and her SURVIVAL
Did you see the word growth? Okay cool.
Because the thing here is - the thing that I think the majority of this fandom is missing - is that Celaena becomes Aelin. That part of herself, the part that was born to be queen, had been stifled for years. Years and years and years. Sarah literally wrote it all over the place. While Celaena would always pick Chaol… Aelin would not.
So why the hell is everyone all up in arms about this?
Celaena - the assassin, the King’s Champion, the girl - fell in love with Chaol. This was the girl hiding that part of her past, the girl who could not face her duty to her country, the girl who did not want to be queen. Only that girl could fall in love with the Captain of the Guard - the person defending the man who destroyed her family. And yes, Chaol switches his allegiance… but not before annihilating her trust. And only after she has left to become Aelin - to become Queen of Terrasen, and someone who could not love the man she left behind.
I read something about Queen of Shadows that I loved, which was that Aelin x Rowan are a mirror of Celaena x Chaol. Rowan and Chaol are both warriors, both people who had no love for the woman they trained to be better than she was - until they did. Until that trust was earned, and they saw beneath her carefully cultivated mask. But Celaena was also something that was cultivated - a person created by Death to avoid the agony of all that she lost and left behind. Aelin, however, was not. She was born to be queen. And while Celaena fought against it, while she tried to live in a world where she could continue to pretend… she faced her demons. She fought the Valg. And she emerged as the Queen of Terrasen.
And so Aelin, the Queen of Terrasen, was unearthed. She was forged by light, and fire, and hope. And throughout all of that - throughout the discovery of her truest self… was Rowan.
IT MAKES SENSE, YOU GUYS.
But that doesn’t change the fact that it isn’t the point. Aelin Ashryver Galathynius is the heir of fucking ash and fire… and she will bow to NO ONE.
So whoever she ends up with two books from now - whatever other romantic trials she faces? They aren’t nearly as important as the trials she faces to survive - and to help the people of her kingdom live in a better world. They aren’t nearly as important as this badass feminist character sjmaas has created - the queen who does not need a man to protect her, who refuses to sit in an ivory tower and let others do the fighting. The queen who sought vengeance and won. The queen who quite literally rose from the ashes, who did not let the darkness of her past devour her, who evolved from the Queen of the Underworld to the Queen of Light.
So can we all drop the shit and just declare ourselves TEAM AELIN? Yeah? Okay great thanks.
Follow-up on Far Cry 4: what's wrong with this picture?
Since the big reveal, people have been trying to defend Ubisoft’s design decisions for the cover of Far Cry 4. Here are a few of the arguments they’ve been putting forward, and a short explanation of why they don’t hold water.
Far Cry features villains on the cover. It’s no big deal - they’re just showing you who you’re going to fight!
Let’s take a step back and evaluate the symbolism here.
The character is on a throne. He’s wearing purple, traditional color of European royalty. He’s lording over a victim, confident in his supremacy. This man is in a position of power. If we knew nothing about previous installments of the Far Cry series, what would we assume about this guy? That the developers hate him? Or that they’re trying to portray him as an edgy badass?
You can’t judge the game by its cover. It hasn’t even been released yet.
Companies use the cover to sum up and sell their product. That’s the whole point. This design almost certainly went through multiple designs and revisions, and in the end, Ubisoft decided that an ambiguously white bad guy torturing an indigenous Tibetan man would be the perfect way to sum up the experience of Far Cry 4.
Villains are supposed to be evil. This doesn’t reflect on the developers.
This character is cartoonishly evil. The blatant cruelty, the smug demeanor, the costume design invoking “queer-coded” tropes - this character is designed to be hated. He exists to justify the player’s inevitable rampage through the Himalayas. By setting up a one-dimensional bigot as opposition, Ubisoft can make a show of being political and insightful… without saying anything about how racism works in the real world. It’s not limited to the occasional bad guy who needs to be toppled from his throne; prejudice is systemic, and it favors people with privilege.
Speaking of: there’s another layer of racism here, one steeped in neocolonial attitudes towards other cultures. What was happening in Tibet before this cartoon character showed up? Who cares! This one bigot is more important! Someone has to bring justice to this lawless land, and odds are, it’s going to be an unshaven, reasonably-attractive white guy that a focus group thinks the target demographic can identify with. Wherever have we seen that before?
I one thousand percent agree with you over the Thalia and Annabeth thing. the more I think about the more it makes sense.
yeah, I just think the context of their relationship gets lost in the nostalgia a bit. Because Annabeth was a little kid and here she saw this badass older girl who made her feel safe and so yeah obviously she is going to connect with her, especially when she doesn’t really have a mother figure of her own. But then Thalia is a tree, so Annabeth has to deal with that ambiguous loss, and then Thalia is back! But when she comes back, Annabeth isn’t that scared little kid anymore. She’s not looking for a leader, she is a leader. She has people that look up to her and count on her, so the dynamic between them is completely different. Then you have Annabeth still dealing with the admiration of Thalia and having to replace that with actually knowing Thalia as an equal, which again is a completely different dynamic. Not to mention the way Thalia butts heads with Percy, who is now for all intents and purposes, Annabeth’s person and you don’t fuck with her person. Even if you saved her when she was 7.
Basically I think it’s much more complicated than it seems at first glance and especially with Thalia joining Artemis it just wouldn’t be a close relationship anymore.
Athlete Santana and physio or sports scientist Brittany
So, I took this one a little different. It’s intern sports medicine Brittany close to the same thing. I also am not a medic or know anything about soccer…so..
Santana rounded the corner into the girl’s lockers room,
stripping her jersey off as she powered walked in. She threw it over her
shoulders and continued her rant. “I get kicked out of the fucking game for
pushing someone who intentionally tackled me,” She shoved one of the bins of
towels out of her way as she took a seat
on the bench. “It’s total fucking bullshit. I get trampled on,” She pointed to
her forehead and hissed. “A fucking open gash from getting scratched with a cleat.
This is total fucking bullshit.”
Quinn just rolled her eyes and followed her. “I know the
call was bullshit,” She grabbed the first aid kit out of one of the lockers. “I
mean, at least it was until you starting yelling at her in Spanish and you
slapped her across the face.”
Santana growled at Quinn as she started to take her shoes,
socks and shin guards off. “There were yellow flags flying before I even
slapped her,” Santana stood up and finished stripping down. Leaving her in
spandex and a sports bra. “Come on, Quinn. Come patch up my forehead so I can
get an ice bath.”
“I don’t know much about sports soccer,” Santana’s head
whipped around to a new voice coming into the room, “But I think if you would
have just gotten up and kept your hands to yourself, you could probably still
“We are ahead by four goals,” She said matter of factly, “Three
of which I made, so it’s not the end of the world I got ejected.” Santana tried
to play it cool. The girl in-front of her was drop dead gorgeous. Tall, blonde,
legs for days. She had a medic bag she was carrying over her shoulder.
“Well then don’t act like it is,” She said sharply as she
stepped towards the hot headed Latina. “I’m Brittany. I’m the new sports medic
for WMU.” She looked at Santana, “You should sit still so I can see if you need
Santana was floored. This girl she didn’t know was sassing
her and bossing her around. She kind of liked it. She usually would just sass
back and not listen, but she wanted to spend time with this girl. “I’m Santana…”
Brittany cut her off as she slid on some blue gloves, “Lopez.
Number 13. “ She stated dryly. She tilted Santana’s head back to get a better
look at the cut. “Butterfly stitches will hold it,” She grabbed a thing of
alcohol out of her bag and some gauze. She dabbed the material just a little. “This
is going to sting.” She grabbed Santana’s chin quickly, before pressing the
padded cloth to her head.
Santana hissed and gritted her teeth, “Mother fucker. It
never hurts like that when Quinn does it.”
Brittany just rolled her eyes, “She probably only uses
hydrogen peroxide,” She looked over to the other blonde as if to question her.
Quinn just quickly nodded holding the tiny metal first aid tin to her chest. “The
medical kits like that okay for small cuts or to patch up until you can see a
doctor,” she offered Quinn a small smile. “But this is pretty deep. If it would
have been a little wider, you would have needed stitches.”
Santana just nodded slightly as the blonde talked to her, “How
did you end up here? WMU isn’t a really big university. Doesn’t have a lot of
funding for sports to begin with.”
Brittany finished up the two little white band-aids on her
forehead. “This is just part time for my internship, I’ll only be here for twelve
weeks. Coach Beiste came from a huge college that’s known for turning out some
professional athletes. So, if she came here, she must have seen some potential
in someone. But even if she doesn’t churn anyone out here, she’s an amazing
connection to have.”
“So this is mostly a political move for you?” Santana cocked
her eyebrow up asking with a little bit of bite behind her words.
“I’m an unpaid intern,” She snapped back, “Of course it’s about
connections.” She grabbed Santana’s forearm and put her left hand on her
shoulder and pressed down slightly.
Santana pulled her arm back, as she howled out in pain. “What
the hell is wrong with you?”
Brittany grabbed the Latina’s has hand back and turned her
wrist up right, “Keep your palm facing up,” She ordered as she stood up and
moved behind the soccer player.
Santana gritted her teeth, “Why should I listen to you? You’re
obviously trying to hurt me.”
“I saw you favoring this arm a little bit when you were
running up and down the field. You’re left handed but you were checking people
mostly with your right side, “ Rolling her fingers over Santana’s shoulder
blade and near her rotator cuff. “There it is.”
Santana slouched down a little as Brittany’s fingers kneaded
into her skin, “There’s what?”
“You have a huge bruise in the middle of your shoulder,” She
pressed in two fingers a little sharply.
Santana hissed out and whipped around, “Are you trying to
make it worse or better?”
Brittany looked over at Quinn, who had taken a seat down
cross the locker room. “I don’t know how you can put up with a mouth like this.
If my girlfriend ever talked to me like that, I would probably slap her.”
Quinn threw her hands up in defense. “I have a girlfriend,
but it’s for sure not her. I couldn’t be more than friends with her. I would
probably kill her.”
Santana threw her cleat across the room towards her best friend,
“Thanks, you asshole.”
Brittany grabbed a hot pack out of her bag along with some
athletic tape. “I’m sorry. I just assumed since you followed her in here and
were going to patch her up.” Brittany snapped the small heat pack and held it
against Santana’s shoulder, “Lean down for me.”
Surprisingly both to Quinn and Brittany, the brunette did as
she was told. “I don’t have a girlfriend.
It’s soccer season, it wouldn’t be fair to someone.”
Quinn laughed a little, “Because you have a worse attitude
and are more moody than usual?”
“Fuck you, Q.” She felt Brittany finish taping the heat pack
around her shoulder. “It’s because I don’t have time to be a decent girlfriend.
Between pre-law, practice, and games It wouldn’t be fair.”
Brittany smiled a little bit when she heard the badass girl start to talk. “I understand
what you mean,” She said softly as she started to pack her bag up. “WMU is like
45 minutes from home. I have to be here at least twenty hours a week. I’ll
still have class. I don’t have time to comment to be a good girlfriend either.”
Santana just nodded, “So what’s the deal with the pack and
stuff, Dr. Brittany?”
“Keep that on until for about 20 minutes, the heat will start
to go away anyway,” She threw her bag over her shoulder. “Then I would ice bath
like you were going to for a little bit. Maybe 5-10 minutes. You don’t want to
over do it.”
Santana just nodded in agreement. She stood up and stretched
her free arm over her head, “Are there any restrictions otherwise?”
“I wouldn’t do anything too strenuous with your left arm. If
you have to do papers or write notes for anything over the next few days, try
to lean more on your right.” She spoke softly as shifted on the balls of her
“Yea.” Santana said as she extended her hand out to shake
hands with Brittany, “Thanks for patching me up. Sorry about the Snixxmode. I
get bitchy when it comes to the game.”
Brittany shook her hand and nodded . “Well, having passion
is never a bad thing.” She pulled a card out of her bag and handed it to the
Latina. “Call or text me if you have any other questions if you can’t find me
on campus. I’ll be around a few days a week,” She said softly as she started to walk towards
the door. She turned on her heels to face the soccer player as she walked
backwards, “If you want to do something strenuous after your shoulder is
better, you can call me too.” She winked a little as she bit her lip and walked
out the door.
Santana was floored. She literally had no words. She watched
the blonde disappear into the hall way.
“Well, looks like that cold ice bath isn’t just for your
muscles now.” Quinn laughed out at her still stunned best friend, “She was
really fucking hot too.”
JEFF KEMPLER (EMI): It Is freezing. It’s not right.
IRVING AZOFF: Any place it is cold for you, makes me happy (it’s Irving)
JEFF KEMPLER: Oh man, I’m so glad I could find some way to make you happy about me. If it makes you feel any better I feel perfectly lousy right now. Let me just say something before they take my phone away over here. I mean, you see we’re trying, right? I call a lot, I try a lot of different ideas. We are really trying, based on how much we want to get back to having a conversation with you
IRVING AZOFF: You sound like a corporate fucking dick. Let’s just talk about the deal. The reality fact is that it’s, you know, it’s really hard to advise these guys to do anything with that piece of shit cocmpany that you work for. Say yes, say no, go away mad, just go away if you don’t ant to do this. Before they fucking seell the company out from under you guys let’s put out the record. Fly safe anyway. Bye.
JEFF KEMPLER: Bye.
So this was a “friendly” conversation OMG Imagine him with Magee or Griffiths.