deal with the insanity

I like to think that the information we’ve gotten about the american magical world comes entirely from outdated Hogwarts textbooks. like there’s a chapter in Hogwarts: a History on the wizarding school it inspired in america. and of course a bunch of it is exactly what happened…if you ignore everything that doesn’t make the old country look fabulous. Because of course the school based on Hogwarts,  founded by an Irish Immigrant, descendant of a Hogwarts founder would be the first and best and only decent wizarding school in America. Imagine teenage/early 20’s Hermione visiting the USA and realizing the chapter on Ilvermorney in “Hogwarts, a History” was  half entirely outdated and half colonial propaganda. like, she ’s in a room full of american wizards, and causally asks one which house she was in in Ilvermorny, and the other’s all, “oh, well, I actually didn’t go to Ilvermorny, I’m from Texas and I attended Nuestra Señora del los Milagros. Um…lesse, George and Ani both had after school programs, at least I know George was trained with the other magical children in his tribe, and I think Ani had a sort of cram school dojo thing she would port key to. Louise went to a magical school in New Orleans whose name I can’t pronounce right and which is pretty secretive, so you’d have to ask her about it. It definitely wasn’t one of your traditional English style boarding schools though. um, Saria is from Utah, and her no-maj school had free periods available for religious or magical studies during the school day. I think out of all of us only Sinjin and William went to Ilvermorny, but I think Sinjin was expelled for protesting the house names, fairly creatively I might add. Honestly it’s mostly upper class and traditional families that send their kids all the way to Ilvermorny nowadays, it’s just not that practical, even if you want a traditionally English magical education.”

  • Jyugo: Why is blood so hard to wash off your hands?
  • Nico: But we all know that’s not quite true.
  • Uno: Hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood, just fyi.
  • Rock: Do you think if you gave someone a huge shot of hydrogen peroxide straight into their bloodstream it would kill them?
  • Hajime: This cell is filled with murderers.


he just complicates things okay?!

I can’t deal with the combination of this:  




do i even need to put THIS

and his laugh is like my new fave thing

and if this isn’t a problem, i don’t know what is…

Pros and Cons of dating me
  • Pros:
  • •you get someone completely dedicated to you
  • •no risk of being cheated on if you have my heart because no one else interests me
  • •cuddles and hugs whenever possible
  • •free food and drinks
  • •random neck kisses and hand holding
  • •will listen to you talk for hours
  • •tries to avoid pressuring you into things or doing things you don't like
  • Cons:
  • •having to talk to my mom if you want me at your house
  • •dealing with my crippling anxieties and depression
  • •my insecurities never go away and you're stuck trying to lessen them anyways
  • •having to deal with my insane level of clinginess
  • •i'm an idiot
  • •i can't cope with things very well
  • •i'll end up forcing you into things without realizing and hating myself for the rest of my life
  • •i cry way too easily
  • •i don't let go
  • •i'm a piece of rubbish
  • •there are no real pros to dating me
  • •why are you still reading this
  • •i'm really sorry

oh this jacket? oh it’s nothing haha… it used to belong to poe dameron you know the legendary starfighter pilot who like flew his x-wing into starkiller base and fired the shot that destroyed the whole thing? right so like before that he went to jakku on this little solo mission to like, retrieve the map to luke skywalker, like i said, no big deal, and while he was on that mission he got captured and he happened to run into ME aboard kylo ren’s star destroyer because i was like, a storm trooper - long story - but i like didn’t want to be a storm trooper anymore SO i rescued him from his prison cell and we stole a TIE fighter and shot out a bunch of the star destroyer’s cannons lmaoooooooooo it was so crazy but like i said no big deal like it was just whatever for him he’s the best pilot in the galaxy but it was also no big deal for me because i’m like??? insanely brave and also the only storm trooper to ever escape from the first order like literally absolutely no big deal as i was saying so anyway we had to crash land on jakku b/c of like… circumstances… and poe like parachuted away to safety at some point but i landed with the wreck and this badass leather jacket was still in the ship so i like grabbed it and put it on and it looked so good on me i mean like you can see it on me right now you know it looks good… but i mean it looked SO good i just kept it on the whole time i was running around on this godforesaken sand planet even though it was super hot and i was about to pass out and dying of thirst lol ANYWAY some bullshit went down and THEN i ran into poe back at the rebel base and he was like “hey is that my jacket” and i was like “oh shit sorry dude” and i went to take it off and he was LITERALLY like “no, keep it, it suits you” and i like, died. so anyway i guess it’s like the second movie now and i’m still wearing this thing haha that is so crazy but like i said it’s really no big deal i mean rian johnson literally posted fanart of me like KISSING poe on the mouth while poe holds me in a warm and tender embrace but it’s like, whatever, you know? it’s like really no big deal. i’m just wearing poe dameron’s cool leather jacket for the second movie in a row and i’m pairing it with this v-neck i got at the american apparel liquidation sale.

The ability to ‘fantasize’ is the ability to survive. It’s wonderful to speak about this subject because there have been so many wrong-headed people dealing with it…. The so-called realists are trying to drive us insane, and I refuse to be driven insane…. We survive by fantasizing. Take that away from us and the whole damned human race goes down the drain.
—  Ray Bradbury
How to deal with a break up.

I know this is a sensitive subject but it need to be talked about. A DD/lg relationship is wonderful but it’s still a relationship. You need to be very careful about how to handle it. Especially if you’re a little. Its very easy to think its going to last forever. But there are times when things don’t go well.

Lots of times, the main cause to a break up is because of communication issues. Its hard to deal with not talking to your spouse for long periods of time. Its insanely hard if its a Ldr (Long Distance Relationship). That’s why I try to push talking to eachother everyday. Littles will feel neglected and become very upset.

If you do decide to break this off, its important that you guys discuss the issue in an adult manner. Just so the other person can fix it for the next relationship. If you ever feel too upset after a break up, here are a couple things to do:

-Take a warm bath/shower: Warm water helps your body circulate blood to the rest of your body. Plus its a relaxing sensation, feeling cozy when you need to. Also it could help free your mind from any distractions.

-Watch your favorite show: This is also great for distractions. You’ll be indulged into your show and forget about what happened. Maybe you’d want to watch a new show you never were able to.

-Take a nap: Sleeping is the best medicine. You can forget about your problems and just feel refreshed in a couple hours. Sleep with stuffies or just a fluffy blanket.

-Eat *HEALTHY*: Often times junk food may be your best friend, but you need to eat healthy after a break up. Too much junk food and you’ll go into this habit of just eating your problems away. It can lead to stomach and heart problems.

-Fresh air: Take a nice walk or just sit outside. The air will help relax your mind and body. Its important to get some air after crying. Your body needs the oxygen to refresh your blood and make you feel better. Also, its nice to see the world around you.

I hope this helps you and please, be safe. I love you all and I care about every one of you. Please don’t spread hate about the other person. It’ll make you look bad and I want everyone to be happy.

anonymous asked:

Shout out to all of the other movie theater workers who are gonna have to deal with Star Wars Insanity this coming weekend. We can do this, guys!

how to make fire emblem fates not bad

The story doesn’t necessarily need to be completely changed- but it does need major reforms (especially in Conquest).

The biggest issue that Fates has is that Garon is a villain. This automatically creates the idea that Hoshido = Good, Nohr = Bad. This completely shifts the dynamic such that Nohr can never be good since their Leader isn’t good, while Hoshido must be good because they oppose the bad guys. In order to create a proper dynamic of your choice (between Loyalty and Family), neither side can be good or bad.

The solution would be to have Garon either be an old dude with Alzheimer’s OR to have him just be a ruler put in a bad situation. The former would keep Xander’s role in the story intact, where he has to try and keep up the legacy of his kingdom as his role of Heir to the throne whilst also dealing with his father’s insane ramblings- but the point is that he’s never treated as evil. The latter would keep Garon in the focus, where he has to make tough calls on what’s best for his kingdom and his people. This would allow him to still serve an antagonistic role in Birthright, which would also allow for a greater contrast of “stuff you know” between the two games (in the idea that in Conquest you would know why Garon is being antagonistic, whilst in Birthright you would know that “Nohr is causing conflict”).

Building off of this, the nature of Chapter 2 and Chapter 5 need to be changed. Chapter 3 would need Corrin’s execution of the prisoners be an unnecessary evil as set forth by Garon (as in he can’t let some of Hoshido’s best spies and information brokers live if he wants to keep his country safe). Chapter 5 is fine as a whole, but the idea is that the context would change- in that this would lead to Garon/Xander/Nohr wondering why they’re being accused of attacking Hoshido (and defending themselves from Hoshido’s aggression/invading Hoshido when they just won’t stop), while Hoshido must take it as a sign of aggression from Nohr (the reality being what it actually is- a plot from Valla to spark a war between the two).

Furthermore, Hoshido can’t be good. This is the second biggest issue with the plot of Fates. Hoshido is never in the wrong. Ideally the plot of Birthright should be taken as a more gray approach- in that Ryoma (As sudden Heir to the Throne) would be suddenly forced to lead his nation and people. As an inexperienced ruler he’d lead down the path of revenge obviously- in Conquest he’d play the role of an angry leader raging at the death of his mother. His actions (such as taking Elise hostage) would be reflective of what Nohr was like at the beginning of the game, rather than a thing that just sorta… happens.

As for characters: Corrin needs to be less perfect. Everyone needs to stop drooling over their perfection. They need to be emotional. They need to be reactionary- Chapter 5 did this excellently! When they see the mother they never knew die in front of them? They go berserk! When their child’s home is invaded be attackers? They get angry and make a vow to coat the fields in their enemy’s blood! We need to see more of that Corrin in the story- the Corrin that gets mad at their loved ones being attacked. The one that isn’t perfect, the one that still wants the best for everyone they love, but gets really upset.

Ideally, this would lead to a story about Corrin growing up. One that learns in Birthright and Conquest that not everything is so Black-and-White, and that each side isn’t necessarily always right. One that will also learn in Revelations that their anger will only consume them (in a parallel to Anankos’s rage and insanity), and that their love for their loved ones should not become hate towards those that hurt them.

Hans and Iago just shouldn’t exist. Period. But if they must- Hans should just straight up disappear when we see him killed in Chapter 3. Iago could still be the stereotypical advisor that’s pining after the throne- but we’d need to see hesitation and disgust from Garon towards Iago’s tactics and plans; only using them as a last resort if at all.

Lilith needs more of a role (as if that wasn’t obvious)- as someone who knows the origins of Valla and the nature of the war (but can say naught), she should serve as a voice of reason and guidance for Corrin throughout the whole story. When Corrin gets distraught at everything horrible happening, she’d be there to help Corrin and tell him that this is the path that he’s chosen, and he’s gotta finish it or more people will get hurt. When Corrin gets blind with rage at Xander for standing up for a nation that killed his mother or angry at Ryoma for holding his sister hostage, she’d be there to calm him down and help him through those facts. And at the end when she sacrifices herself to save Corrin (for a damn good reason too), this is when Corrin resolves to make the best for everyone, even if it isn’t perfect and even if they hurt him.

Anankos needs to be actually betrayed- not just build resentment because dragon reasons. This betrayal also needs to stem from Hoshido and Nohr’s roots and explain why he wants to destroy them. There might have been something about that happening in the game, but if there was I sure can’t recall it despite playing each game at least twice, which in and of itself is a problem. He definitely should slowly become insane, but let it be because humans betrayed him in some form or fashion that ended with his rage consuming him and him ending up alone. This would create parallel’s with Corrin’s rage, as well as add more depth to Anankos.

The final bosses would still be possessed by Anankos- and it still makes sense for it to be Garon and Takumi. They’d be possessed by Anankos’s rage, and this is where Azura’s singing would come in use and yadda yadda. Though this does mean that Garon shouldn’t be a fight at the end of Nohr (obviously), and that the FINAL final fights would need reworking to make sense (probably to fight the Dawn or Dusk dragons that were awoken or created by Anankos’s residual rage powers. Obviously there would be more references to the Dawn/Dusk Dragon in each story- at the very least referred to as guardians of Hoshido/Nohr respectively.

Azura… well, Azura’s role in both stories wouldn’t need to be changed all that much? Her powers could be more focused on Corrin and keeping him from going insane- there could also be more phenomena based around Anankos fucking shit up- like creating Magic-fueled warriors that go insane as Anankos tries to stop Corrin from stopping the war. These phenomena could also be blamed on the other country from Corrin’s perspective. This would allow more hinting of Valla without it dominating the story and leaving it unclear like Conquest originally left it.

Fuck if I know how to introduce the Awakening trio effectively. They’re ultimately too minor of characters to take a major role in Revelations like they should, but it still doesn’t change the fact that they were assigned this task by Anankos himself. Maybe in Birthright they could give up on their quest- admitting that Corrin has done their duty by himself. Maybe in Conquest they could believe that fighting the Dawn Dragon alongside Corrin was their duty. In Revelations I guess they could get a line or two about being prepared for this.

The Children could still work- it would basically combine Heirs of Fate and the main story, in that the children come from dimensions where Anankos succeeded, and Corrin’s army happens to encounter dimensional rifts in which the kids reside and have tried to escape Anankos (albeit it’s explained that it’s the clashing of the two nations that lead to their rifts opening because a huge Fate-of-the-world changing decision is causing magical fluxes in combination with Azura’s strange magic).

This would require either Kana or Shigure (probably Shigure) being in the story as someone who can fix even more than Azura can (much to Azura’s surprise) in all routes. This would be discovered due to, say, Takumi’s early Anankos powers in Birthright, or Leo becoming possessed himself or something. (This could also take place instead of the chapter in Nestria (and take place in Nestria) because that won’t happen without Garon being evil. It could happen in Revelations as the skies change or whatever).

Now, this is ignoring Revelations. The principle of Revelations would be the same- choosing to choose no one. This is a bit tougher to fix- but the idea of creating a rag-tag group of followers based on both your born and adopted family is sound, since it would lead to Corrin earning his title as king while he leads both families to a greater future.

In order for this to happen, though, this would require actual in-fighting between the two families. It doesn’t happen enough in Revelations- if at all. There needs to be plot points where Corrin trying not to choose a side leads to resentment on both families’ sides and Corrin’s side- especially concerning Corrin’s ideals.

This would lead up to a huge falling out in which Corrin is left alone- with only himself, Azura, and maybe Kana to take on Anankos. To parallel Anankos once more- it will have been Corrin’s own anger at being hurt that lead him to be where he is.

However, at this point Corrin makes a decision- that no matter how much he’s hurt or betrayed by his family. No matter how imperfect they are, he won’t abandon them. Then epic moment when all his family takes his back then epic dimensional space fight with the Omega Yato- symbolizing his burning love for all of his family, and cutting through the rage that has hurt so many (as well as finally relinquishing Anankos from his own rage).

Ideally, this would aim to create a game that is: consistent thematically, actually has gray morality, makes your decision actually a decision about which family or side you trust more, and tells a good story as epic as Lost In Thoughts All Alone makes it out to be.

The Characters of Night Vale, as explained by Troubled Birds

[image description note: all images are from The Minced Mockingbird’s Guide to Troubled Birds, and feature realistically painted birds on top of classical wall paper, with paper quotes on top. Image descriptions have the quote. I’d put what kind of bird it is as well, except I’m horrible with birds. Sorry!]


[image description: I had on my prettiest dress and he never even looked at it. “For God’s sake!” That’s all I could think of to say.]


[image description: The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.]


[image description: Your eyes look tasty.]

Steve Carlsburg:

[image description: The ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a form of mild insanity.]


[image description: Dealing with you is like herding cats.]

The City Council:

[image description: The drinks came. I wasn’t about to be sobered by anything like regret.]

Station Management: 

[image description: My mating dance is mostly seizures.]

Tamika Flynn: 

[image description: I’m three ounces of whoop-ass.]


[image description: Foie gras this, motherfucker!]

Jackie Fiero:

[image description: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense. “You’ll do it?” “Of course,” I replied.]

Diane Crayton:

[image description: He told me that I would never forget him, as long as the two of us would live. His eyes demanded an answer. I had to overcome my desire to laugh.]


[image description: He gave them the heebie-jeebies. He had nothing else to give.]

The Man in the Tan Jacket:

[image description: Finally he gathered himself together and spoke. “What the hell?”]


[image description: “This is wonderful!” “This is going to be fine!” “I love this!” I was soon to change my mind, however.]


[image description: A meat cleaver, he thought. “Oh my God!” “Oh my God!” “Oh my God!”]


Second batch of the sketches I gave to folks with their calendars! I’ve left the names of the folks I remember giving the sketches to in the captions.

If you see one you have, let me know, and I’ll add your name in! If you got one that ISN’T in any of the groups I’m going to post, let me know! I got ahead of myself and stuck some in envelopes without scanning them first, and I’d love to have them in the collection.

Sick of Voltron fandom discourse?  How about watching something else?

Hot take from someone who’s been on Tumblr for a month.  Most shows with “toxic fandoms” generally provide a show that you can’t really get somewhere else. Steven Universe, as utterly insane as the fandom is, really can’t be duplicated anywhere else, whether it’s the way it handles its characters or same-sex relationships.  Similarly, a lot of web originals really aren’t the type of show you’re gonna see on television. But Voltron?

Originally posted by mecha-gifs

It’s been done.  And done better.

There are a lot of shows involving the tried and true, uniquely Japanese genre of “Giant Robots and giant monsters beating the crap out of each other”!  Also, most of the fans of these shows will likely not yell at you over shipping issues (such as, God help you, you ship the princess with anyone).  Next time you feel like watching Voltron but don’t feel like dealing with insane fans, try one of these other shows instead: 

Gurren Lagann: Where the power of will and drills saves the universe from cosmic annihilation. 

Originally posted by tharane

Kuromukuro: Where women actually exist and are important to the plot. Also where the Shogunate era is mixed with giant robots. 

Originally posted by oboreta-ningyo

Knights of Sidonia: Where hard sci-fi meets outer space dogfighting. 

Originally posted by akibacomplex

And GaoGaiGar: Where someone who saw Transformers and Voltron went “I’m gonna turn this up to 11.” 

Originally posted by warenfetisch

No less than four shows that do what VLD does minus everyone yelling at you about ships. 

Enjoy, and let’s all hope the fandom calms down by season 2 so I don’t have to tell people to stay away.  VLD isn’t a bad show, but no fan should have to deal with being yelled at for not adhering to hivemind headcanon or being “problematic.”  Till then, there’s at least four other suggestions to watch instead.

Look at what you’ve done to me


“Bryce? Where in the god damn seven oceans are you? The dare’s done! You can come out now!” Delirious called out.

“Yeah man! We’re done playin’ games here, let’s go!” Added Cartoonz as he scanned the area.

Swimming further into the Great White’s home, the shimmering light slowly faded into dimness. After squeezing through the rotting debris of ships, they arrived at the home. 

“Ugh, this is a stupid joke. He probably didn’t even do it!” Delirious groaned, crossing his arms and pouting. 

“Do what exactly?” A voice growled from the shadows as the two turned around to the direction of the voice, revealing Ohm with a concerned expression. “If you are after my seal it’s too late because he’s already mine. I can deal with some snacks right now!” He howled as he laughed insanely, swiping his sharp fingers at the two who shrieked and swam for their lives. They forced themselves to swim into the actual domain of the Great White which only caused him to become even more frustrated. Mysterious twists and turns became even more confusing, the crazy laughter from their potential killer simply just made matters worse.

“Quick Delirious! In here!” Cartoonz pulled his friend by his arm into a random room and slammed the door closed. When they heard the Great White viciously attempt to open the door, they grabbed whatever was available and propped them against the door in a panic. Unexpectedly, the force was interrupted by a voice.

“Ohm, why are you slamming the door? I thought it would be open?”

“There are people around… they’re going to take you…” 

“And who did those people look like?” 

“I don’t know… I think one of them had a blue tail with a bunch of tattoos and the other one had a red tail with some weird cross against his eye.”

The other voice sighed out of frustration, before calling out to the two. “Guys, it’s me. Bryce! You can open the door now, it’s fine.”

They didn’t hesitate in removing the barrier, before opening the door to the Great White rushing towards them. Both had fear run through their veins again, splitting up to form a gap for the attacker to swim through, but then eventually rejoining behind Bryce. The seal gave another frustrated sigh as Ohm swam closer with an annoyed expression and dragged him back so that he would be locked into Ohm’s arms.

“Sorry guys… Ohm get’s a little obsessive sometimes. I learnt that the hard way.” He apologised as Ohm started to growl again. “Anyways, Ohm, meet Delirious and Cartoonz. Delirious and Cartoonz, meet Ohm.” He ended his sentence with a casual shrug. 

Tell me your worst procrastination story!

I’ll go first.

One time in college, I flew to visit my friend in another country during reading week (the week before finals that you’re supposed to spend studying). I was set to come back to school the night before my final, which I thought was a take-home final. On the last day of my visit, we went out and got really drunk (her fault… probably). Next day, I drag my hungover ass to the airport in total agony, get to my gate, sit down, open my laptop to study for the first time and realize that I had been mistaken. My final the next day was in class. Not take home. And I had not studied at all. And I was too hungover to function. Well, I thought, I guess failing isn’t the worst thing in the world. There’s a first time for everything.

My flight was delayed, and I ended up not getting home until 9pm. Still hungover, I begrudgingly stayed up most of the night trying to scrape together what I could in hopes of pulling off a miracle. After all, I’d spent years honing my procrastination craft. Don’t fail me now!

I went in the next morning aggressively ignoring my classmates. The last thing I wanted to hear was how hard they had been studying. The professor passed out the exam, and as I flipped through it I realized, holy crap, I can do this! I don’t know how I am possibly about to get away with this, but I am! 

As I walked out, I heard a few classmates remark how hard they thought the exam was. I couldn’t believe it. I ended up getting an A- and my favorite story of my entire academic career. Thank god for my insane BS-ing skills.

So, since I’m procrastinating right now, what are your best procrastination stories?