"Those messages do not make me mad because I genuinely believe they are sent with good intent." You saying that literally just improved my night so much. I have unfollowed so many bloggers for publicly dragging innocent people who were just trying to be helpful and that whole trend makes my skin crawl. idk, I just wanted to say thank you for being a force for good when it comes to advice and just in general. I really appreciate it.
Aw, thank you, that’s really kind of you to say. I try very hard to not snip at people if I can avoid it, though I will say I know where other bloggers are coming from when they do snap and reply more meanly than is perhaps warranted.
A lot of us are on our absolute last nerve when it comes to certain things, and after a while everything seems like bullshit. It can feel like you’re not being listened to when you have to repeat yourself over and over and over, or when you’re dealing with people being deliberately obtuse to try and get a rise out of you, and unfortunately the people just trying to help can get caught in the crossfire.
There was a time when me endlessly having to repeat myself or validate myself to others, would have resulted in an absolute meltdown. And some days, especially when I’ve had people being deliberately obtuse for funsies or my inbox is just full of shit, the temptation to throw a wobbler is absolutely still there.
But after some years of processing my anger, I have come to realize that a lot of what people do or say that might be annoying me, isn’t meant to be, and sometimes I’m able to just happily go on repeating myself and move on to the next thing. And sometimes I have to get up and walk away from the computer because I have reached my capacity for patience that day.
And that’s okay. It’s okay to get up and walk away. It’s certainly better than making someone else feel awful. And if I have the energy when I get back to the computer, I’ll either address it or move on.
Which is usually when you see me blogging into the void, pointing out the things that people do that are dick moves while never actually tagging someone. A) because however annoying someone is being they don’t deserve tumblr dog piling them and b) A lot of the time it’s something a lot of people do unthinkingly, and me drawing attention to it in a non antagonizing way will hopefully get people to think about it, self reflect and maybe modify their behavior.
Which isn’t to say I don’t throw shade when I have to with certain people. But for the most part I try to keep that to a minimum. It’s less exhausting for me to believe that people mean well, than to believe that they don’t.