deal with it i have a lot of feels

dianartemiss  asked:

"Those messages do not make me mad because I genuinely believe they are sent with good intent." You saying that literally just improved my night so much. I have unfollowed so many bloggers for publicly dragging innocent people who were just trying to be helpful and that whole trend makes my skin crawl. idk, I just wanted to say thank you for being a force for good when it comes to advice and just in general. I really appreciate it.

Aw, thank you, that’s really kind of you to say. I try very hard to not snip at people if I can avoid it, though I will say I know where other bloggers are coming from when they do snap and reply more meanly than is perhaps warranted.

A lot of us are on our absolute last nerve when it comes to certain things, and after a while everything seems like bullshit. It can feel like you’re not being listened to when you have to repeat yourself over and over and over, or when you’re dealing with people being deliberately obtuse to try and get a rise out of you, and unfortunately the people just trying to help can get caught in the crossfire.

There was a time when me endlessly having to repeat myself or validate myself to others, would have resulted in an absolute meltdown. And some days, especially when I’ve had people being deliberately obtuse for funsies or my inbox is just full of shit, the temptation to throw a wobbler is absolutely still there. 

But after some years of processing my anger, I have come to realize that a lot of what people do or say that might be annoying me, isn’t meant to be, and sometimes I’m able to just happily go on repeating myself and move on to the next thing. And sometimes I have to get up and walk away from the computer because I have reached my capacity for patience that day.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to get up and walk away. It’s certainly better than making someone else feel awful. And if I have the energy when I get back to the computer, I’ll either address it or move on.

Which is usually when you see me blogging into the void, pointing out the things that people do that are dick moves while never actually tagging someone. A) because however annoying someone is being they don’t deserve tumblr dog piling them and b) A lot of the time it’s something a lot of people do unthinkingly, and me drawing attention to it in a non antagonizing way will hopefully get people to think about it, self reflect and maybe modify their behavior.

 Which isn’t to say I don’t throw shade when I have to with certain people. But for the most part I try to keep that to a minimum. It’s less exhausting for me to believe that people mean well, than to believe that they don’t.

A message from your friendly neighbourhood Deadpool

I’m sure you all have noticed that things have been quiet here for a few weeks and I just wanted to address that.

Right now I have a lot going on. Nothing anyone really needs to know about, just things I need to deal with in my personal life. And through dealing with all that, I’ve been realising that I’ve been getting burned out. I don’t feel like I’m giving you the quality content I want to and I’m not having fun with it when I have to force myself.

So I need to take a short break.

I’m not leaving. I’m just taking the first real vacation I’ve had from this place in three years.

I’ll be back to it soon. Thank you to everyone who’s standing by me while I get my shit together. And please forgive me for the pause in content.

I love Deadpoolvania and all of you. You guys are the greatest.

-DP

anonymous asked:

Oh Tatiana story is getting ugly in Russia and soviet countries. Lot of ppl are not believing her, saying she was always difficult to deal and overly emotional. This from ppl that was around soviet team in 80s and 90s. Also she attacked Sharipov who is very loved by the gym community as he helped most soviet settle in the US. Lot of people saying she should have not dragged him on this. I feel for Gutsu, she kept herself isolated all these years and now is going against a legend and a +loved man

I guess people just can’t understand that if someone is good to you it doesn’t mean he has never done wrong to someone else. It’s incredibly sad to find the strength to open up like that just to have others judging you or saying they don’t believe you. It must be so discouraging. Unfortunately, I saw this coming because victim blaming is just what our society does best. This is about different accusations, but I expected the reaction to be similar to when Maria Olaru talked about the abuse she went through/witnessed and most big names rallied against her.

If people are publicly going against a 41 year old woman confessing about abuse, how can we expect teenagers to speak up and share their stories? The current environment in this sport is in no way making young gymnasts feel comfortable or safe enough to reveal their experiences, and that’s downright depressing.

anonymous asked:

How many kids would the Cullen’s have and what would they name them? I feel like it speaks a lot to their personalities and their relationships how many kids they have and what they name them

People forget that Esme’s dream was teaching, a profession intended for single, childless women during that era. Wanting her baby understandably became part of her self-image after she got pregnant, but at no point during her life did she express a desire for a  huge family. Same deal with Carlisle: he never articulates any kind of inclination towards fatherhood. Additionally, he certainly isn’t paternal to anyone but Edward. As a result, I can’t help but imagine these two with one or two kids. They’d gravitate towards traditional names: David, Michael, Daniel, Elizabeth, Anna, Maria, and so on. 

Emmett and Rosalie would probably aim for a large family, realize that they weren’t fully capturing their respective dreams, and stop around 4-5 kids. (Emmett remembers his own sprawling clan, but right around the time Baby 4 masters the word “No”, he suddenly recalls that he had many cousins, with their own sets of parents to discipline them. Rosalie, likewise, realizes that her fantasies were based around little Henry, who was a) one person and b) shockingly well-mannered.)

These two would have a rule: Rose picks the first name, Emmett the middle. Olivia Velociraptor, Joshua Explosion, and Emily Wolverine would be very possible

I’m…. not sure I can envision Jasper and Alice with kids at all? She has “cool aunt” written all over her, whereas his entire being screams “bad at nurturing”. They’d probably spoil their nieces and nephews, but also remain childless. 

anonymous asked:

I get what you're saying about the whole 'can't believe in a creator' thing, but as someone considering converting, one of the things I find interesting about Judaism is that you can totally be an atheist and follow the religion. It's no big deal. Hell, there are a lot of rabbis who are atheists, even. The religion is more about what you do than what you believe.

I’ve actually got a few messages like this and it’s really interesting. I grew up mostly with religion as this thing relating to guilt. I loved it at first, I LOVED the stories and I wanted to be good and wanted to be a part of some community of…caring? If that made sense.

That’s not what I got, I got a lot of shame for feeling doubt, for not believing enough, for not having faith, for asking too many questions.

Being told that my parents would go to hell for not being believers and that it was my job to save them from eternal torment was genuinely fucking traumatic. I was 9.

I have always associated religion with not being devout or good enough and it rocks my world that there are all kinds of religions out there that have people dedicated to just not being… Manipulative.

so, here’s the deal: i’m still feeling like absolute garbage. i’m having a lot of trouble recovering from the exhaustion of being made over a couple of days to relive a lot of my most recent and severe trauma, and because what happened took place within the pokémon rpc, it’s seriously affecting my muse for plumes, too.

i’m going to probably take a nap and work on drafts, but while i’m doing that, i have a huge favor to ask of my followers: if possible, could you please send some ic asks to try to PROVOKE PLUMERIA?

questions about her backstory, what’s going on with the loss arc, challenges on her relationships, values and ideals, questions about intensely personal things, anything. anon or not. absolutely nothing is off limits. my hope is that by prodding her enough, it will jumpstart my inspiration for her enough to finish off this arc and move forward with her development onto bigger and better things.

to anyone able and willing to participate, thank you so much in advance. to anyone unable or unwilling, thank you for taking a moment to read this anyway. i understand. <3

I’m always blown away by reader response to my writing.

Like on one hand, it’s really easy for the numbers to all blur together and seem meaningless, especially compared to popular fics that have, like, 10,000 kudos. But when I stop to really think about it: I posted some bullshit headcanon ramble and half a day later, it has 77 kudos (plus like 20 notes on the Tumblr post).

SEVENTY SEVEN people read that shit and liked it. I don’t know 77 people in real life. That’s WILD!!! That’s a lot of people!!!!

That means so much to me, you have no idea. Not to mention COMMENTS — I’m really bad at replying unless someone asks a direct question, bc I’m just not sure how to deal with compliments/positive attention, but I cannot oversell the way it makes me feel.

So, thanks, dudes. You’re amazing and never underestimate the effect you can have on other people, even just clicking a button.

❤️❤️❤️

anonymous asked:

I don't want to be gay and I know it sounds naive and I'm asking cause you seem usually non judgmental.... but like is that bad? That I lay here turning 19 in two week and just hate that I love men. I feel like I've gotten signed up for endless judgement idk it's not that I care what people think but does a straight person ever have to think that? Let's be honest 😞

I think a lot of us have been in your shoes at one point or another. I’ve definitely asked myself why I like men. Why can’t I just like girls so that I don’t have to deal with coming out and the judgement? Why can’t i just be like everyone else? etc etc but as you mature, you realize hey this is me, this is what will make me happy, why am I holding myself back when I can move forward and be at peace with who I am. I hit a point in my life where I just didn’t care about how other people viewed me. There’s enough judgement in the world. No need to be judging yourself. There’s so much positivity and love in the world too. Once you start being comfortable with yourself, you’ll attract that positivity! Don’t lose yourself in the opinions of others. That’ll only harm you. 

anonymous asked:

what the heck you’re actually really polite and kind compared to other BTS writers like you aren’t rude with people in your inbox and wow i love you?? -your #1 fan

haha, thank you! i think i’m just really tolerant? like it takes a lot to make me truly angry, but i can get annoyed easily so passive aggressiveness is my way :’) but it’s safe to say i rarely get rude anons so i don’t really feel a need to bite back!

but also, i don’t think some bts writers are rude in their replies for no reason? it’s warranted a lot of the time. sometimes life can be stressful and they don’t have the patience to deal with certain messages (because i see a TON of writers getting horrible or demanding ones, on the daily too, so that can grate on their mood for sure!)

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm a 2nd year med student from Australia. I just found out that I failed the year and I'm going to have to repeat. I'm so worried about how this will effect my future job prospects and that I'm going to lose my current group of friends. I hate feeling like a total failure. I'm sorry for putting this in your inbox.

That’s fine anon, don’t be sorry! I don’t know how it works in Australia, but here repeating isn’t a huge deal. Obviously it’s a big upheaval and you rather wouldn’t, but I know lots of people who have retaken a year and they’re doing fine! The good thing about it is you get to know a whole new year. I wouldn’t think it would change your future career, and also you can definitely stay in contact with your friends! You’ll still be at the same university and campus etc. I know it’s shit, but try not to get down about it and see it as a fresh start. x

I remember talking to someone who said “I can’t handle when kids get so worked up over dumb things, like a papercut is the worst thing to ever happen to them” 

if they’re 3-4, hopefully it IS the worst thing to ever happen to them. out of nowhere there’s hurt, there’s red, there’s BLOOD??? FROM A PAPER?? of course they’re flipping out jesus christ wouldn’t you 

i feel like such a huge part of dealing with and loving the babies is understanding what that post said: everything is new to them. sometimes it’s fun and amazing (seeing snow, touching a baby chick) but sometimes it’s very overwhelming.  imagine a carnival, a mall, a loud crowded place, having never experienced it before. 

a thing I hear in teaching a lot is “little people have big emotions. it’s our job to create calm, not add to their chaos” 

Emotional Consent

I’ve always been hesitant to post about this because I’m worried people will take it as a personal offense and I just want to say in advance this isn’t “@ anyone” or a callout even

I just feel like emotional consent as a concept is rarely talked about and therefore it’s often breached unknowingly (hence why I don’t never get mad at anyone specific for breaching it), and also I think it’s important I make this post. I didn’t learn what it was till I was older, and most people don’t.

Essentially “emotional consent” is a mutual understanding and willing agreement between both parties when discussing directly emotional or potentially emotionally loaded questions.

I’m going to start with examples, and I know it might feel bad at first if you recognize you do some of them (it’s okay, we all do from time to time), but please keep reading because I promise I’ll get onto alternative dialogues and solution

Here are some examples of what a breach of emotional consent can look like- not all the ways of course, but the major ones off the top of my head:

  • Venting to someone without warning or established boundaries this can look like starting a conversation by venting, or detailing graphic information seemingly out of nowhere and without effective trigger warnings. This can put people in situations where they feel like they have to respond, even if they’re not emotionally equipped, if they’re busy, or if they don’t have the spoons. Of course, usually this wasn’t the intent of the venter, but still has the same effect. FYI- this includes celebrities, social media icons, and people you admire. 
  • Talking graphically about sex, masturbation, or anything in that range without warning or established boundaries this can look like anything from sharing a funny sexual escapade with your friends, and dirty jokes, to sexual harassment and telling someone hows bad you want to fuck them despite not knowing how they feel about it. Sometimes in these scenarios, people can appear visibly comfortable in attempt to fit in and not seem prudish, or to avoid awkward confrontation. This can also be especially sensitive because this is a topic that can very easily and unexpectedly bring up traumas and insecurities along with the discomfort, and it can perpetuate rape culture.
  • Using pet-names and romantic implications, even platonically, without established consent this one was tough for me to swallow at first because I love pet names and I love using them platonically to show love. But even more, I want the people I love to feel comfortable and safe around me. Some people have deeper more negatively charged, or more intensely charged feelings around pet names than I do, and I wouldn’t want to subject them to that. Some people are also comfortable with certain pet names and not others. Also things like calling platonic meetups dates, cuddling, and platonically holding hands mean different things to different people, which is important to respect.
  • Showing people media or sending articles or news with heavy emotional content either without warning, or with the expectation of discussion part of this is about including trigger warnings, and making sure viewing triggering content is optional in spaces and interactions we have control over. Another part though, is the fact that we often expect people to have interactions and discussions with us about emotionally charged topics, including politics, crime, oppression, natural disasters, etc. without fully understanding how this can affect the other person.
  • Telling someone they’re the only person you feel comfortable telling something to, or be open with this one sucks because it usually (except in cases of abuse) comes out of genuine care and wanting to make the other person feel special. That being said, no matter how you phrase it, it can put a massive responsibility on the person that similar to my first example, can make them feel obligated to help even when they’re not in an appropriate place to. 
  • Expecting people to share personal or intimate information a lot of times we ask emotionally loaded questions because we care about and are interested in the lives of our loved ones. That being said, if we’re not careful people can really feel obligated to share information they’re not prepared to, or don’t want to process at the moment. This can look like “How’s your health been?” “How are you handling [life event]?” and “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

so now the more pleasant part! What can it look like to prioritize emotional consent instead- these correspond in order of initial bullets

  • Starting vague and asking if it’s okay an example dialogue could be “I’m feeling crappy about [blank] are you up to listen to me talk about it?” I also love to add “or should I try [alternative coping method/talking to someone else right now?]” to the end of that if I have one so the other person knows if they say no I have something to turn to. Another example could be “Would it be alright for me to vent right now? FYI it may include mentions of [possible triggers] so if you’re not up for it right now I understand?” or simply “Are you comfortable with me talking about [blank?]”. Also talking to a celebrity or idol “You really helped me with [blank]. I don’t know if you’re comfortable with detail so I won’t elaborate, but I really appreciate it.” or “You really helped me with [blank.] [An explanation about what specifically helped or inspired you in more detail rather than graphic description of the event.]”
  • Again! You can just ask example dialogue can include “Can I mention something about my sex life?” “I have a joke but it’s dirty so I want to make sure thats okay with you” “Can I say something nsfw?” “Is everyone here okay with sex mentions?” 
  • Asking still works! Example dialogue can be “Thanks [petname] (are you okay with me using that or would you rather I don’t)” “Are you okay being called [petname]?” “Are you comfortable with [intimate platonic act]?” “Do you want to [intimate platonic act]?” “I’d like to [intimate platonic act] if you’d be okay with that”
  • Ask/Warn ahead of time or clarify you don’t need response example dialogue “I want to process [news event] but I know it’s heavy so I wanted to ask first” “Jsyk this article contains [possible triggers] so don’t read it if you think it’d be harmful to you]” “Can I ask your opinion on [charged topic]. If you’d rather not, I understand” “[thought or link to article] FYI no need to respond. I just wanted to share.]”
  • Show you’re appreciation in other ways using phrases that show appreciation but don’t implicate responsibility like “Thanks for being here for me whenever you’re able to” “I really appreciate being able to talk about this with you” “It means a lot to me that I can feel so comfortable and open with you” “Being able to talk about this with you has been really helpful for me and I’m really glad I was ables to.”
  • Asking with an easy out or optional response examples include “Hey, I know you’re dealing with as lot and grieving right now so I absolutely don’t need a response, but I wanted to remind you if you need support in any way I’m available and have time right now.” “Do you want to talk about [emotionally charged life event] or would you rather talk about something else right now?” “I know it’s hard to talk about these things and I understand if you can’t, but I want to remind you that when you can and want to I’m available and won’t judge you.” “Would venting be helpful or draining right now?” “What’s the best way I can support you, or are you not sure right now?”

Sorry this became a long ass post but I thought it was important. I should also add that the exception of course is therapists and counselors, crisis hotlines, or other people trained and already prepared to cope with these things. but besides that- try and emo responsibly. 

A Note on Reblogging (Your Own Fic/Art/Stuff/Etc.)

Look, here’s the deal with tumblr: it moves fast. A lot of people follow enough blogs that scrolling through one’s entire dash is impossible. I remember the days when I could wake up in the morning and scroll back to the last post I saw before bed. Sweet, summer child.

Here’s the other deal with tumblr: I see so much anxiety about reblogging one’s own stuff, be it art; analysis; fanfiction; hell, personal posts and replies. I have (and continue to feel deeply) that anxiety. Every time, my inner critic and I go through the same song and dance.

Critic: You look like you’re begging for notes/replies/reblogs. People will think you’re needy/full of yourself/have to be the center of attention. You already have a few notes, why do you need more? Other people have it worst than you. Ugh, you’re just clogging the dashes of your followers. If they wanted to read it, they’d have read it already.

Me: *ball of anxiety* You’re right. Wait, no you’re not. Wait, maybe you are. Wait, no—

I’d say it’s 50/50, even now, that I’ll reblog myself. 

And you know what? Fuck that. 

  • Not everyone can get through their dash in a sitting.
  • Timezones are a thing.
  • Work hours are a thing, also affected by timezones.
  • Life away from tumblr is a thing (what??? I know).

There are so many reasons a person might not see your fic/art/stuff the first time. Reblog it the next day. Reblog it a week from now. Hell, set up a schedule or a queue and have it reblog itself three months from now. Go back through old fics and reblog the ones you really liked; I guarantee you have followers who are new enough to have never seen it or who would like to reread it.

Be proud of the work you do.

Oh yeah, I felt that resistance from here.

Say it again. Out loud. Write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it.

Be proud of the work you do.

You wrote/made it for a reason. And yeah, part of that reason was probably to share it with other fans. Otherwise, why post at all? I know. Man, I get it. I’m cringing even writing that. The fucked-up “don’t show off” mentality runs deep, right?

Fuck that, too.

If you have followers who unfollow you because you’re reposting your stuff (and this is hard to prove, remember; maybe they quit tumblr, maybe their interests diverged from yours, whatever), who cares? Let them go. For everyone who leaves you, many will stay. And many will be happy to see that thing they missed because of work, life, sleeping. Especially if you follow a few points of tumblr/dash etiquette:

  • Use cuts/read mores for anything longer than a few hundred words (I tend to cut at about 400-500 words, though if something’s under about 700 I might leave it).
  • Reblog at reasonable intervals (day/evening, next day reblog, etc. Hourly might be a bit much ;D).
  • Use tags so people can filter appropriately.

Be proud of the work you do.

(Write it down. Yes, you. <3)

BTS’ Erogenous Zones/How To Turn Them On (Based on Astrology)

✨ An erogenous zone is an area of the body with heightened sensitivity, that can cause arousal when stimulated. Sun, moon, mars, and venus signs can all be taken in account when trying to figure out someone’s sweet spots. Let’s look into BTS’ charts to figure out what really makes them tick ✨

{warning: long post, many gifs and pictures, mature content, and large amounts of bts body worship ahead}

Keep reading

as I’ve been gently descending into real hockey hell lately, I came across the anecdote that a certain famous rl candian hockey forward used to go to local pick up games, but he was so good that they made him play goalie so that the opposing team would have a chance.

when you combine this with my headcanon (for my bitty-navigates-his-early-20′s fic that i may or may not ever write) that bitty joins a local beer league after he moves to Providence….you get…

Bitty is thrilled when he discovers a local rec league in Providence. He’s missed being out on the ice and it sounds like a great way to make some friends. Even better, there’s no checking allowed. He signs up right away.

Keep reading

I was raised on the mentality that “other people have it worse than you” so I always felt bad for feeling bad and wrote a lot of stuff off as no big deal and it wasn’t until recently that I realized I went through a lot of trauma throughout my childhood and early teens and now here I am dealing with the aftermath of it all haha moral of the story: just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean your problems aren’t valid and important

Today is World Mental Health Day.

Peeps, there’s a reason I talk about my bad days. There’s a reason I talk about my struggles with the Brain Raccoons. Because when I was younger, people didn’t talk about mental health. If they did, it was in pitying or scared whispers. And if your brain didn’t work like “normal people’s”, you didn’t talk about it for fear of … a lot of things. Discrimination was the mildest of those things to fear.

You know what? Fuck all that. No one’s brains work like anyone else’s. If yours isn’t working the way you think it should be, if you’re dealing with emotions or thoughts that make you feel like you’re struggling, there’s help out there. You don’t have to be stuck in that horrible, dark place.

Please, please don’t feel like you’re alone, and don’t give up hope.

So uhhhh I’m starting a Protect Reiner Squad™? Effective immediately? Because he deserves so much better and it hurts me every day??? Pls join me… Why must he suffer

instant gratification 03 (m)

Originally posted by bangtan7beyondthescene

➾10.8k 

➾ smut, angst, fluff

➾the final part of this series, please read the first three parts if you haven’t!

instant gratification 01 | 02 | 2.5


It’s like time has slowed to an ambling crawl, and all that ever exists has ceased to matter; except in this room with the three of you standing, facing each other like fighters in a ring. All you’re aware of is the way your breath has frozen over in your chest, and the way Jeongguk is clutching something so tightly in his hand, mirroring your own fisted palm.

“Jeongguk, no,” the sound of your voice pierces through the tense atmosphere, and is that really your voice? Why does it sound so unconvincing, so lacking in resolve, so broken? You clear your throat and attempt to try again, because your eyes are locked on Jeongguk’s own milky caramel ones, filled with a murky rage that threatens to break past the surface. “Jeongguk, this is not what it looks like, I swear-“

He only responds with an acerbic laugh that’s short and cutting, and it makes every breath you take feel razor sharp.

Keep reading