deadliest snake

Sorry to say this, but Kelly Slater and other surfers saying that sharks should be culled in big numbers are in the wrong. In the last 10 years 80 people have been killed by sharks. That’s not a huge imbalance or a big threat. There are areas where a handful attacks by sharks on humans happen every year and people are warned to not enter these waters. (The area which Kelly Slater talks about apparently saw 20 attacks since 2011, 8 of them deadly.) Yet that is still such a small number, compared to real common threats. More people get killed by dogs every single year. (Apparently 25.000 a year.) No one asks that all dogs should be killed. And are surfers forgetting that the ocean is the natural environment of sharks and NOT of humans?

You are entering the natural habitat of a dangerous (because of its anatomy, not because it loves to attack humans) animal, that can kill you if it mistakenly attacks you, and then you call for it to be extinct, so you can have some fun. That’s pretty ironic…

Life in Tazerbo was not pleasant. The thermometer climbed steadily towards 120 degrees in the shade. From dawn to dusk the flies were beyond belief; every afternoon it blew a sandstorm. Scorpions and snakes added to the hazards of existence. The story of the Sand Viper, Libya’s deadliest snake, found gargling in its hole after biting a South Islander, is encouraged in Auckland but rejected by reliable authority in Christchurch!
—  Kennedy Shaw quoted in Ghost Patrol: A History of the Long Range Desert Group 1940-45, by John Shadler
They Call Them Trinity - Chapter 4

Hello dearest! This week the chapter is slightly shorter than usual, but I hope you’ll still feel satisfied. I have been advised to put a trigger warning for violence and torture, so here it is - I guess that’s fair.

Hugs and pats to hartfic and dabblingdabbler for the betaproofreading!

This is a SFW, NSFF (I guess, I can never tell ‘cause I am a stonecold bitch with two inches of fur on my stomach) and I lied for 3,218 words.

Read chapter 3 here

All chapters here

- - -

“Don’t move. You’re surrounded.”

More steps approach, Grace counts at least 7 people, but they could be more. There’s a thud, and the night somehow becomes darker. As she falls on the ground, Grace wonders if this sleep will be dreamless at last.

- - -

She is awaken by a particularly rough jolt.

“Hey.” She hears.

Her head is pounding and her hands are tied behind her back. She is sitting on a hard, moving surface. She blinks repeatedly, until her eyes finally focus on a worried face framed by blonde, short hair.

“Han.” Grace can taste the blood in her own mouth as she calls her name.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s all good.” Hannah is sitting in front of her, and for some reason she thinks she needs to reassure her. Grace smiles weakly, her head dropping forward, still heavy after the hit. “Grace! Stay with me, babe.”

“Babe?” She scoffs.

“Mh, sorry” Hannah giggles, “Glad you’re okay.”

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Australia’s deadliest snake…..the eastern brown snake.
Based on venom toxicity alone the inland taipan is the deadliest, but based on other features such as aggressiveness, venom toxicity, distribution and number of human fatalities the eastern brown snake has killed more people in Australia than all other species of snake put together.

story of the day!

okay so i’m about to tell you about how i was almost killed today so brace yourselves because this comes with eighteen years of resentment and hatred disguised as a tumblr post enjoy! 

right so in Australia spring is the season we fear the most, like summer you can die from the heat (srsly don’t bother trying to be okay during summer you just have to hibernate in the fridge and yes mum i realise it costs money to keep the fridge door open but fuck you it’s 45 degrees and i am loosing my body weight in sweat so yeah fuck you mum), and winters okay cause it basically just rains, and autumns just an extension of summer (fuck you autumn) so spring is the season that everyone fears. One main reason: fucking magpies. Those fucking cunts, i s2g I’m shocked that they’re not extinct because i for one would gladly see them fuck off. And don’t fucking come at me with how wrong it is to treat animals wrong because Magpies are not fucking animals they are creatures of hell, they are satan’s ballsack, they are literally that fucking other worldly and evil that they do not deserve any sort of sympathy. So I have been dealing with these cunts for eighteen years - fucking eighteen years man - so you have to understand that these motherfuckers have given me eighteen years of reasons to fucking hate their demonic souls. 

Heres a picture of one: 

The reason why I hate them is because in the spring, when they’re eggs hatch, they fucking snap. They start swooping. Now, when i say they start swooping I mean you’ll be walking along, innocently just enjoying your day, today I was picking up my dogs shit (thanks jessie for that steaming pile), when they begin their attack. They are usually on a street light, before descend down like demonic bullets and aim for your fucking head. Like these shit sticks will literally peck your eye out. No joke, first time it ever happened to me, I was about six - I was walking with my best friend when we heard the squawking. We just assumed it was a bird in the park, but oh how wrong we were. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a black blur speeding through the air and what does this motherfucker do? He fucking smashes into my best friends head, and starts coming at her with his beak. This cunt nearly pecked a six year olds eye out, NO FUCKING JOKE. 

She still has the scar. 

Back to today, I was walking my dogs, and like I said, was picking up my dogs excrement when it happened. I was also listening to a bit of one direction because why the fuck not, right? It’s a Wednesday, I didn’t work, i had nothing better to do - what’s wrong with me listening to a bit of 1d while picking up dog shit? Nothing. But the problem was that Steal My Girl was too loud for me to hear the squawking. See, your first clue at survival is the squawk - once you hear that battle cry, you get the fuck out of there, just drop everything you’re holding and fucking get out, because this fucker will try to kill you. So because I couldn’t hear the squawk, i was practically blindsided (which is an appropriate word considering what this fucker was about to do). Just as Harry’s voice began, steaming dog shit in my hand, I was hit in the fucking head. This fucking cunt flew the fuck into me. At this point, I’m disoriented, I thought someone had thrown something at me - was it someone in a car? I was on a main road, oh god someones assaulted me from a car - that’s got to be what it was. But nope. If that had happened, I probably would have been able to recover. Instead, satan decided today was the day he was going to fuck with me. 

I look over, the dog shit oddly still in my hand (it was in a bag btw i’m not that filthy), and see it’s beady black eyes just glaring at me. I saw hatred in those eyes - I saw hell in those eyes. I realise what’s happened, realise the severity, and realise I need to get the fuck out of there before it goes for my eyes. It’s already tried once, it will try it again - it’s got no fucking chill. I stand there for a second, my dogs are no help at this moment despite one of them being a big fucking dog, like she could scare it off but apparently someone had left their mcdonalds on the ground and that was obviously more interesting then my impending death. I begin to move back slowly - amateur move, i’ll admit - because this shit hasn’t happened to me in two years so i’m out of practice, i don’t remember what you should do. I don’t want to run because I don’t want to anger it, but I don’t want to just stand there for the obvious reasons, so I decide to slowly get of there. 

But it doesn’t like that. It. does. not. like. that. 

This small brained mother fucker goes for me. By that point, I don’t give a flying fuck about my dogs I just sprint away and you know what this cunt does? He follows me. THE FUCKING BIRD FOLLOWED ME SQUAWKING AND I WAS SCREAMING AND I LEFT MY DOGS AND HOLY FUCK THIS FUCKING BIRD MADE ME RUN MORE THAN I HAVE IN THE PAST YEAR. And then it went back to it’s babies, and my dogs had (thankfully) followed me so all was well other than the fuck my fear of these fuckers have been reignited and i no longer trust mother nature.

Anyways, I just wanted to share my experience with you guys because everyone is always talking about how Australia has the worlds most deadliest spiders and snakes but you know what? None of them have ever followed me after trying to kill me. Only once thing has.

The magpie. 

MAY I ADD IT’S NOT EVEN FUCKING SPRING I FUCKING DIDN’T WALK MY DOGS IN SPRING FOR THIS VERY REASON IT’S FUCKING SUMMER IT’S SUMMER WHY THE FUCK WAS IT OUT FUCK YOU MAGPIE JUST FUCK YOU