dead shed

Underrated 4E-Original D&D Monsters!

While Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition had many flaws when it came to integrating narrative and gameplay; on some pretty fundamental levels; one advantage of the system was that the simplified monster-creation allowed for a dickton of really interesting brand-new monsters to appear in a small space.

Sadly, due to both a lack of art for many of them and a fundamentally fluff-lite narrative approach for most of its run, almost nobody remembers them.

And that’s what we’re here to talk about today, with the name, a brief description, and the book they come from! So, in no particular order:

Banderhobbs- A horrible vore-frog that lives in the plane of Shadows. They take people away to work in their horrible shadow-mines until they turn into more Banderhobbs! [Monster Manual 3, tho they did come back in 5e’s Volo’s Guide]

Dreambreath Dracoliches- Dragon liches who root their immortality in the plane of Dreams and generally look like something that should be painted on the side of a van [Draconomicon: Chromatics]

Star Spawn- Horrible eldritch monster-avatars of the Stars, summoned by a giant planet that got fucked up by spending too long in the Cthulhu-dimension passing in front of them. They have stats so you can fight the giant planet. [Monster Manuals 2 & 3]

Filth Hags- A type of hag who always comes accompanied by a son she made out of poop. Yes I know they just give it as nonspecific “filth,” but we all know it’s poop [The Book of Vile Darkness. Yes there was a 4e version.]

Accipitridae- A centipede-thing made of grave-dirt and bone, part of a series of undead monsters created from grave-detritus known as Dethritus. There is also the Offalian who is a snake-thing made out of guts. [Open Grave]

Voracia- A giant starfish that eats fairies. Made as one of the edition’s Abominations; giant living weapons designed to fight in the war between the Gods and the jotun-like elemental Primordials. [The Plane Above]

Astral Renders- Another abomination, this giant silver/gold blob monster that doesn’t just eat flesh, but also the barriers between dimensions. To teleport.  [The Plane Above]

Bonewretch Skeletons- Literal dead-baby skeletons [Open Grave]

Orium Dragons- Metallic dragons obsessed with ancient civilizations, their history and lore, and with an obsession with bringing said ancient civilizations back. They breathe acid which turns into snake-vapor monsters. Which then stay around to keep attacking you. [Draconomicon: Metallic Dragons]

Apocalypse Spells- The remnants of apocalyptically deadly/powerful spells that have gained sentience, like shards of the chains of a trapped god or colorless fire from a massive war-ending spell [Monster Manual 3]

Larval Snipers/Larval Assassins/Larval Warmasters- Variants on the basic worm-that-walks monster including snipers made of wasps, assassins made of centipedes, and warlords made of beetles [Open Grave]

Chillfire Destroyers- 4e had this thing where they condensed the Elemental Planes into one big Elemental Chaos, and one of the byproducts of that was that all the elementals (at least at first) were combinations of elements. The Chillfire Destroyer; which is literally an elemental made of ice with fire inside; was one of the cooler; more iconic (In my eyes at least) manifestations of the idea. [Monster Manual 2]

Dragonscale Sloughs- Piles of dead skin and shed scales from dragons that’ve come to undead life. The dragon doesn’t even have to be dead for it to happen, as it mentions they tend to form naturally in the lairs of elder dragons [Open Grave]

Consumptive Swarm- A “demon” that’s actually a swarm of Slaad/chaos-frog larvae mutated into demons by the energy from shard of evil that formed The Abyss (Basically Chaotic Evil Hell). There’s also versions for Efreet and Djinn and a weird thing called a Writhing Crag supposedly made from Ropers and Xorn with a great design and the ability to embed you in stone. [The Plane Below]

Unrisen- People who came back very, very wrong after a Raise Dead spell. You know Pet Sematery? It’s basically Pet Sematery. [Open Grave]

Swarmtongue Worms- While the old gold-coin-mimicking Hoard Scarab came back, they also added another parasite for draconic hordes, grotesque stomachlike wormy-tongued parasites the size of a dwarf. They come in multi-headed versions called Swarmtongue Hydras and are implied to be either relatives of Carrion Crawlers or the result of what happens when the parasites feeding on a dead dragon’s body get bathed in energy from the Cthulhu dimension [Draconomicon: Chromatic]

Dragonclaw Swarms- An “advanced” version of the Crawling Claw enemy that is literally hundreds of severed dragon feet coming to attack you. D&D is silly sometimes [Open Grave]

Quom- Bald-headed two-faced people who were pretty chill until their goddess got exploded by the God/Primordial war. Now they’re searching for all the shards of their Goddess, which is a problem given how many of those have wormed their way into magic weapons or sometimes even people. [The PlaneAbove]

Flesh Cults- One of the coolest new ideas that got only one entry, they’re basically a cult not dedicated to immortality like most undead cults but rather to ˆephemerality, being in the here and the now and that everything ends eventually, with their rituals giving themselves regeneration that makes too much flesh, with it being described as a “perpetual cascade of flesh and organs,” which they then use as weapons and reanimate as temporary quickly-decaying undead servants. Because waste not want not I suppose [Open Grave]

Oubliviae- A new demon lord who looks bland at first, basically a pretty lady with an HR Geiger-armor-body, but her backstory is fascinating. Basically she is the lord of the end of all civilizations; with her layer made from a platonic “perfect” city that she ruined to turn into a reflection of the ruins of every civilization there ever was or will be; and she’s implied to come directly from the Shard of Evil at the heart of the Abyss rather than just being mutated Primordials/other creatures like the rest of the Demon Lords [Demonomicon]

Solkara- One of the few Primordials statted up that isn’t an Elder Elemental Evil with a new coat of paint, she’s suitably honked-up looking; given she’s a humanoid eel-monster with amongst other things three arms attached to two torsos connected at the shoulder and hips, which have two necks that connect to a singular four-eyestalked head. She’s stuck in an iceberg and really, really wants out. [The Plane Below]

This probably isn’t near all of them, so if I missed some, please tell me!

Man I ‘d love to see @bogleech do an article on some of these…

3

my bone collection! all of these were found by me and were dead when i found them; no animals were killed to be part of my collection. i’ve been collecting bones for about a year now and my newest addition is the shed antler in the front row! as of right now i have 10 deer skulls (6 does, 4 bucks) 5 ground hog skulls, a broken turtle shell, a fawn hoof, and a 4 point shed antler.

The Snow Globe

by reddit user NP-CO

“Janie honey,” My mother said as we left the funeral. “That lawyer gave me a key.”

“A key?” I said.

“It seems that Aunt Tabitha left you something. Locked in a safe deposit box.”

“Really? I asked turning to my mother. “But wasn’t she poor?”

Keep reading

We did it.

Generation after generation of humanity sat by idly, too comfortable to be spurred to action. Too complacent to stop our disastrous path before our inevitable destruction.

Now, the earth’s atmosphere is damaged beyond repair, and humanity as a whole must adapt. Maps must be redrawn. Entire coastlines are washed away under the world-wide floods. New deserts are formed as the thinning atmosphere’s protection wanes. Global droughts decimate populations, and a few years later, when everything is dry, the fires begin in earnest. Some cities survive, but the number that do is smaller than anyone cares to admit. The shape of the world changes, and humanity with it.

Cities are build under the new deserts, using the winds as power and the sands as protection against the sun. We must now learn how to survive in the parts of the world we have made uninhabitable.

Some people flee to the sea. There’s so much more if it now, and out there, there is less overcrowding. Modern-day dreams of atlantis become realities faster than anyone could ever have known as desperation and ingenuity pull us away from moving shores. Humanity learns how to live in the flooded world they’ve made - they must.

Still others fight to fix what was broken. It is futile to hope for a full return to glory, but cities which burned after the Droughts are rebuilt with as much vegetation as can be made. Taller buildings are crafted to hold more people and more flora. Old building designs are shed like dead skin - a symbol of hope for a new world and the death of an era of failure.

Some turn towards the stars. Space colonization programs began to cooperate on large-scale projects during the first Droughts. Now, they are beginning to take off in every sense of the words. Short-term tests on the moon have proven to be successful, and now- armed with entire libraries of knowledge on ways to keep a planet healthy, the space programs begin to look beyond, to further planets and distant stars.

Designs are borrowed from those places which have always been most accustomed to the heat. Clothing changes to accommodate the rising temperatures. Linens, silks, and other, newer fabrics, synthesized to repel the constant heat are the foundations of a global fashion boom. Sun screening lotions are altered to be stronger and last longer. Paints and skin-coats are adapted to look beautiful in the parts of the world where it is too hot to live without anymore.

There are places in the world which become uninhabitable. Any plans for long-term habitation are ultimately unsustainable. These dead-zones become the perfect place for secrets to hide, though trips through them must be kept brief and well-planned if one wishes to survive.

Garbage becomes a commodity. Recycling materials that no longer exist in nature is a fairly new business, but it is thriving. Companies fight over rights to old dump sights and sharp entrepreneurs trawl the oceans for the trash humanity forgot long ago.

Solar windows are in - it is harder now to walk outside without suffering the consequences, but humanity has not forgotten their love of the light. Direct exposure is more dangerous than ever, but protected windows give humans the ability to walk in the sunlight without fear of their impending deaths.

We did it. We destroyed the planet we were given to live. Now, we must live amongst the proof of our forefather’s misdeeds.

And live we shall.

STEPHEN  KING’S  ‘THE  BODY’  SENTENCE  STARTERS.
↪  all  taken  from  the  1983  novella. feel  free  to  edit  them  as  you  see  fit,  &  enjoy !

  • “the most important things are the hardest things to say.”
  • “it happened a long time ago… although sometimes it doesn’t seem that long to me.”
  • “you four-eyed pile of shit!”
  • “drop dead in a shed, fred.”
  • “you guys want to go see a dead body?”
  • “my balls crawled up so high i thought they was trying to get back home.”
  • “there used to be a bridge, but there was a flood. a long time ago. now there’s just the train-tracks.”
  • “did you ever hear of such a fucked-up family?”
  • “he’s a real asshole, ain’t he?”
  • “man, you shoulda seen your face. oh man, that was priceless. that was really fine. my fucking-a.“
  • “you know that she thinks wearing glasses would spoil her pretty face.”
  • “besides, it’s spooky sleeping out at night in the woods.”
  • “a train-dodge, dig it? what’s trucks after a fuckin’ train-dodge?”
  • “'i’m gonna kill [him/her/them]. at least give [him/her/them] a fat lip.”
  • “Go anywhere you want, but don’t go here.”
  • “he won’t live to be twice the age he is now.”
  • “i dream about that every now and then.”
  • “don’t call me any of your mother’s pet names.”
  • “i don’t shut up, i grow up. and when i look at you i throw up.”
  • “are you some kinda smartass?”
  • “okay, that’s it. that’s it, that’s the end, i’m gonna kill you.”
  • “let’s get away from this asshole before i puke.”
  • “talk is cheap.”
  • “hey, if i spoiled your good time, i’m sorry.”
  • “jesus christ. what a fuckin’ bedtime story.”
  • “most town names are stupid. you just don’t think so because you’re used to ‘em.“
  • "when you don’t know what happens next, that’s the end.”
  • “no, man. don’t say that. don’t even think that.“
  • “what’s asshole about wanting to be with your friends?”
  • “i know about you and your folks. they don’t give a shit about you.“
  • “but kids lose everything unless somebody looks out for them.”
  • "if your folks are too fucked up to do it then maybe i ought to.”
  • “but kids lose everything unless somebody looks out for them and if your folks are too fucked up to do it then maybe i ought to.”
  • “'cause you’ll just be another wise-guy with shit for brains.”
  • “i know what people think of my family in this town. i know what they think of me and what they expect.”
  • “all they give a fuck about is whether you behaved yourself in grammar school and what the town thinks of your family.“
  • “but maybe I’ll try to work myself up. i don’t know if i could do it, but i might try.“
  • “i want to go someplace where nobody knows me and i don’t have any black marks against me before i start.“
  • “people drag you down.”
  • “i say i wanna go look for it, then i’m gonna go look for it! i wanna see it! i wanna see the ghost! i wanna see it.”
  • “it’s hard to make strangers care about the good things in your life.“
  • “i was thinking of something else, that’s all.”
  • “what am i doin’ here, anyway?”
  • “well what the fuck do you know about this?”
  • “i’ll give you one chance to just blow away. i don’t give a fuck where. Just make like a tree and leave.”
  • “kid, whatever your name is, get ready to reach down your fuckin’ throat the next time you need to pick your nose.”
  • “suck my fat one, you cheap dime-store hood.”
  • “i’m gonna break both [his/her/their] fuckin’ arms.”
  • “you’ll go to jayyy-ail.”
  • “where do you want it, [name]? arm or leg? i can’t pick. you pick for me.”
  • “but i know how you’re going to come out of this, motherfuck.”
  • “you dig me?”
  • “oh, why don’t you go home and fuck your mother some more?”
  • “stick with me, man.”
  • “i’m not going to forget it, if that’s what you’re thinking. this is big time, baby.”
  • “be seeing you.”
  • “maybe he knew this was gonna happen. what a fuckin’ creepshow, i’m sincere.”
  • “you lousy rubber chicken.”
  • “if people ask where we were, we’ll say we went campin’ up on [place name] and got lost.”
  • “well, seeya in school on wednesday. i think i’m gonna sleep until then.”
  • “i’m gonna toot home and see if mom’s got me on the ten most wanted list.”
  • “you bet they’ll tell. but not today or tomorrow, if that’s what you’re worried about. it’ll be a long time before they tell, i think. years, maybe.”
  • “i didn’t think of it just like that. you see through people, [name].”
  • “i’m never gonna get out of this town.”
  • “don’t let me see you around, dipshit.”
  • “do you think they will respect you? they will laugh and call you stupid-fool.”
  • “i didn’t know them. really.”
  • “i’m sorry i couldn’t stay with you, [name], but i had pies in the oven.”
  • “friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant, did you ever notice that?”
  • “if you go out alone you’re a hero. take somebody else with you and you’re dogpiss.”
  • “fuck gerunds.”
  • “if he had drowned, that part of me would have drowned with him, i think.”
  • “i drove out of town, parked, and cried for [him/her/them]. cried for damn near half an hour, i guess.”
  • “a lot of the critics think what i write is shit.”
  • “my story sounds so much like a fairytale that it’s fucking absurd.”
  • “i wonder if there is really any point in what i’m doing.”
Iplier Short Story #2

“What have you DONE!?” Darkiplier demanded, rising to his feet. His voice broke with fury and his shell buckled under the weight of a demons rage, unintentional yelling occurring in close spurts that was quickly drowned out by the others yelling, just as enraged.

Googles body jerked back and forth and his voice glitched more rapidly than it did on average, his anger feeding off of Darks. Ed was yelling inappropriate slurs and Bim’s anger was mostly related to getting no spotlight in the, as he described, ‘Show as shitty as the pink rat on his lip’.

Silver, too, was primarily angry about the sun not shining on him in the show, while Dr. Iplier and the Host sat silent, a satisfied smirk on Dr. Ipliers face as he kept his back to Dark and stared at Warfstache.

The Host was facing towards his folded arms, and murmuring to himself the events unfolding before him. He had nothing valuable to add to the conversation since he knew this would happen and knows how this will end. He dreaded the conversations climax.

“You’re not the only one controlling this herd, Dark!” Wilford said, standing as well and locking eyes with the gray spectrum man opposite of him, their brown eyes locking and tension crackling between the two. “We’ve agreed this is a shared burden and we must make decisions together, you deciding that this was a bad idea without input from me is not what we’ve agreed on for the years we’ve been working as partners!”

“You’re acting like a selfish toddler in the midst of a tantrum and you are in no condition to make such high staking decisions without further consulting me,” Dark retaliated, his eyes narrowed to slits and his brow furrowed, his lip drawn upwards into a growl.

“You’VE led-led-led us evEn FARther FROM Our p-pri-priiimary oBjecTIVe,” Google said, his fingernails digging into the wooden table and leaving indents, the constant jerking back and forth as he glitched leaving long swooping scratches that looked like cat claws raking at something that had run across the furniture. “You-You’re a FOOl if yOu B-B-Beliiiieve thiis wo-won’t have DIre ConsssIqueNCEs.”

“Sit your broken ass down, Google. I won’t hesitate to factory reset you,” Warfstache threatened, his brown eyes flicking towards the software who met his gaze for a second before turning away and looking at his hands.

“Everybody, please, settle down!” Dr. Iplier said, standing up and looking around the room, all eyes on him except for the four that were arguably the most powerful of the nine egos. “I know this may seem bad but please, take into consideration the benefits! After all, I am a doctor and I know best, so if I say that this is good then this must be good.”

Dark glared towards Dr. Iplier and his chair quickly scooted into the table, buckling the alleged doctors legs and forcing him to sit back down, and the man in the white coat looked to the furious demon and felt his blood run cold, adverting eye contact and going silent.

The Host mumbling was beginning to be heard as the intimidation of Dark and Warfstache caused the last three to sit down if they were standing and slowly quiet down as well, the room filled with an uncomfortable silence and the tension was thick enough you could cut it.

“Wilford began to speak,” The Host whispered, immediately followed by Warfstache hitting the table with his fist, drawing all attention to him.

“Wilford’s had enough of this shit,” he said, not breaking eye contact with Dark despite addressing everyone in the room. “You’re all blaming me and you don’t even know what for! We have no idea what stir the video will cause so crawl off your high horse as if you’re above me because at least I had the gonads to stand up against Dark when none of you dare look him in the eye. If this backfires, then you have every right to sit here and ridicule me, but until then don’t act like you can predict the future. You’ll have to be patient like everyone else and just wait.”

Silence carried on again, the tension and expectations still high and The Host had resorted to mouthing the story unraveling in front of him.

“Ok, Wilford,” Darkiplier said, slowly sitting down again and readjusting his tie and brushing a lock of hair from his face. “We’ll wait and see what kind of reaction your project gets. But I’m warning you now,” Dark continued still locking eyes with Wilford. “If this sets back our plan for even five seconds, your consequences will be devastating.”

“Alright, fine,” Wilford sighed, combing some hair to the side with his fingers and brushing off his shirt.

“Good. If that’s all that there is to discuss, then meeting is adjourned,” Dark announced, and in immediate response practically everyone in the room gathered anything they might have brought with them and piled out of the office, eager to escape the room still heavy with anger and discomfort. The only two that stayed were The Host and Darkiplier.

“You should’ve told me,” Dark said, his narrowed eyes casting a glare towards the Host who didn’t turn away from his arms.

“…It wouldn’t have changed anything,” The Host responded in a hushed voice. “All paths pointed to the disobedience of Wilford no matter how many words you, I, or anyone shared. If every reality is certain of a single action then that action will be performed in every reality. I’m sorry, Dark, but warning you would’ve done nothing but waste both of our time.”

“That’s for me to decide, not you,” Dark said, his voice hissing with anger. “I’ve kept you by my side and I’ve put you first countless of times. Who saved you and healed you after you were shot and left for dead in a shed out in the middle of nowhere?”

The Host was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke he was as quiet as a terrified child answering obediently to a furious parent. “You,” he said, his voice cracking slightly as he strained to make himself heard.

“Yes, and now you are repaying my generosity with unjustified disobedience?” Dark demanded, his hand clenched into a fist. “All I’ve asked you to do was tell me of any future events that will negatively or positively affect me, is that really too much? Tell me now before it’s too late because I can remove you very quickly if need be.”

“…That won’t be necessary,” The Host said, his fingers scratching his arms anxiously. “This won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”

“You’re better than this, Author,” Dark said, standing up as well. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what will happen if you do this again.”

Dark once again readjusted his hair and the gray around him flickered as he disappeared, leaving the Host alone in the conference room once again, where he faced the wall for a long moment before putting his face against the table and hiding himself, wrapping his arms around his head and letting out a short, shaky breath.

instantdrawings  asked:

camila i really need to know this. when undyne tells papyrus that sans is dead, he isnt even shedding a tear. hes eyes are just watering. i know he is kind but sans is hes brother, the most important thing to him. if everybody (me too ;-;) cried why didnt papyrus?

Papyrus had been crying the entire night before.

I made it VERY clear that papyrus also felt the moment when Sans died, EVEN UNDYNE mentions that HE told her first.

Like… bruh. Wat

deciduous
—  i see the trees around me shedding their dead leaves
leaves with beautiful colours that aren’t green
the trees do it to get new leaves new life and
i wish i could do that too
shed the parts of me that are old and dead
shed my skin
shed my thoughts
but i think that would mean
i would shed it all shed my whole self
not just the leaves but my roots too
The soul needs autumn. Let what’s dead fall. Let the wind sweep it up and blow it away. Your colors are changing; it’s so beautiful. Don’t be sad it was a part of you and now is gone. Some things have to die. It’s their season. You can’t hold on. This is your season to let it all fall. Shed what’s dead. Be free, stand tall. There will be a time to bloom again.
—  your roots remain //
Steven Universe Theory

Okay, I’ve had this idea ever since the last Steven bomb and I keep waiting for someone to propose it because I’m too lazy to write it down. But, I haven’t seen anyone say anything so I guess I’ll just write down my thoughts.

Let’s review:
-beings can be brought back from the dead via magical rose quartz tears
-humans can be brought back this way
-Rose Quartz has this power.

So throughout the series there’s been a lot of symbolism showing Steven as a Jesus figure. The main one that comes to mind is in Three Gems and a Baby, I believe. Greg, wearing a blue blanket, was holding Steven with the three crystal gems around him (like Mary holding Jesus and the three wise men, or perhaps the shepherds). There’s other examples but I can think of them right now.

Now, if you’re familiar with the story of Jesus, you would know that Jesus died and is resurrected. If we apply this idea to Steven, we could have a very interesting ending.

Say Steven, in the final battle, dies. He’s surrounded by all the allies he’s made, both gems and humans, all mourning his death. That’s when Steven’s gem falls out of his stomach and begins to glow. Before their eyes, Rose Quartz reforms. She’s amazed to see so many new gems and humans fighting side by side. She sees Greg and Pearl crying on eachother’s shoulders. She looks back to see Steven’s still body and realizes what’s happened. She falls to the ground and hugs her dead son, shedding her magical healing tears. The fall on Steven’s face and begin to glow.

Guys……

Pink Steven.


Say it with me. PlNK STEVEN!!


I would love it if that’s how the show ended. That way both Steven and Rose Quartz could exist. I’m not saying it’s gonna happen, I just think it’d be awesome.

Anyways…
P I N K S T E V E N

Taylor Swifts newest song has me like:

why does sr2 hurt…….so much……………
i knew bleeding out was going to hurt but the dialog in the car……hurts………….s o m u c h .……… … …………..