oh and thank you to @suf-fuse who requested a couple of preferences which will follow this one in the next few days. :)
Walking inside the room I swallowed the hesitation in my throat, I had to be strong for him. There he was, lying down with various tubes and wires attached to him, too many for me to count. As I neared Luke stood up, red faced with a stitch above his left eyebrow. He lowered his head, ashamed of how this happened. “I, I I’m so sorry.” His voice was shaky and cracked halfway, unable to finish whatever he mentally had prepared.
I sat down next to him and hugged him, if anyone needed to it would be his best friend. The two of us remained quiet for a while, all we were doing is listening to Calum’s monitor beeping, the consistent beeping to indicate he was okay. As my eyes observed each tube and where it led a shiver went down my spine and I shifted in the uncomfortable chair. “How much pain do you think he’s in?” I thought aloud and turned to Luke who wore pain heavy in his eyes.
“I don’t think we’ll ever understand the agony he’s in.” Luke kept his head low, I could see the throbbing from his forehead. Although it was a small stitch it seemed painless compared to the contorted look Calum wore as he remained unconscious.
The more I focused on Calum’s expression the more I missed the light in his eyes, the joy in his smile and the energy he provided constantly to our lives. Unknowingly tears fell from my eyes, I struggled to hold the whimper in that followed as I forcefully wiped my face. As my lip quivered Luke held me close and I buried my face in his chest, the weight on my chest only grew as I intently thought about how much pressure is on Calum right now from all of us.
Luke told me how his sister had been but I’d missed them. I hadn’t seen the guys for a while, last time I saw Calum I was holding back the fact that I loved him more than a best friend, Luke was the only one I confided in. “You know, they say it helps to talk to a coma patient.” He suggested as I lifted my head up. Smiling suggestively to me I chuckled lightly as he wiped away the remainder of my tears from my face.
Standing up he walked out and gave me a thumbs up. Now the two of us remained sat here, I moved along to the chair Luke was sat in, it was warmer and more comfortable compared to the one I was previously perched on. Hesitantly I held his hand, trying my hardest not to get tangled in the tubes and patches that bruised his skin. “Hi Calum.” I muttered, unsure where to even begin. “When I said see you soon this, this isn’t what I had in mind.” Glancing around the room there were cards and flowers, some already dying despite the short amount of time he’d been in here.
Focusing on him was hard, all I wanted him to do was open his eyes and smile, say my name and then this harsh reality would melt away. But no, you don’t always get that lucky. “There was something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now, I just never found the right time to tell you.” Trying to control my breathing the words lingered in my throat, continued to get caught up in my tongue as I held my mouth ajar. “I love you.” Once they were out I could visualise them in front of me, floating around the two of us unable to be taken back or reframed.
A weight felt as if it were being lifted from my chest, not in its entirety but partially. Standing up I could see the top of Luke’s head and nearing the entrance to the room I glanced back one last time. I swear I saw a hint of a smile on his face, but blamed it on the tears brimming my eyes.
Nodding to Luke I walked away, unsure what else I could do.
Running, out of breath I passed various faces that began to blur together. Various accusations were yelled my way as I muttered apologies, unable to pause and have a mere argument. My mind was racing as I got to the reception of the hospital, huffing and my eyes wide the nurse gave me a funny look. “Calum Hood.” I sighed with exhaustion as she searched through the system momentarily before directing me to his room.
As I neared the room I slowed down, unsure what my reaction will be to see him now awake. Still weak, but awake. Standing in the doorway Luke stood over his bed with his back turned to me. Laughter filled my ears and a smile spread across my face, how much I’ve missed that laugh. “Glad someone’s alive.” I spoke up and Luke turned around then proceeded to walk towards me and held me in a tight embrace.
“What about me I’m the one who just woke up?” Calum huffed making me laugh lightly as I quickly walked towards him and carefully hugged him, not wanting to let go.
Standing back there were a lot less tubes and wires in him. Bruising was more evident along with the stitches in his arm and those attempted to be hidden under his gown. A weak smile was full heartedly worn on his face as I sat down next to him on a chair, despite him patting the bed for me to join him. “How does it feel to be awake?” I asked as I held his hand in mine, unaware of how it may look to Luke who raised an eyebrow to me.
Calum didn’t respond as he glanced over to Luke who called my name. “Can we talk a second?” Cautiously I nodded and walked outside with him, remaining uneasily quiet. “There was something about the accident that I didn’t tell you.” Twiddling his thumbs my eyes hardened.
“Tell me what Luke?” I spoke through clenched teeth.
“Before you got here, after the accident his heart stopped.” I froze, it felt as if my own heart was going stop as it sunk so far into my own body. My mind came to a halt from the busy thoughts that swirled like a whirlpool. “They brought him back but it’s something that wasn’t easy for him to hear.” Lowering my head I covered my face with my hands, I didn’t want Calum to see my cry.
Luke wrapped his arms around me as I tried to collect myself back together again, sighing I nodded in his chest allowing him to release me. “I told him, just like you said.” Wiping away my tears yet again I just laughed, unsure what else I could do.
“About time too. Just go back in there, who knows maybe he heard you.” Shrugging my shoulders I wandered back in, Calum wore concern too easily.
Sitting back down next to him he placed his hand on top of mine immediately. “Sorry I didn’t tell you myself, it’s not the easiest thing to tell someone.” He sighed and all I could do was remain quiet.
“So you’re telling me you’re dead or you’re alive? Because if you’re a ghost that’s cool, or a zombie but please don’t eat me.” I rambled on and joked resulting in an angelic giggle to fill the room, easing the tension that remained in the beeping of his machine.
“I’m saying that I’m sorry, and no, I would never eat your brains. I care about you too much.” A jump in his heart rate on the monitor caused me to turn away from him but silently I knew why.
“Did you, could you hear anything whilst you were in the coma?” Subconsciously I wished he could, but part of me wanted him to say no so I could ignore these feelings a bit longer.
All he did was nod and now my heart was racing. “There are so many things I love about you, you know that right?” He slowly lifted his hand to my cheek, stroking it lightly.
Calling out to my problematic faves: Ereri fanfic writers
-Being too awesome and goddamn perfections. -Making me cry and making my dead cold heart feel alive. Not cool.
Again, no particular order but I’m not listing on-going fics- cause my tiny shipper heart cannot take the pain of cliffhangers so you won’t have cool people like @sciencefictioness here (although check out her fics- dayuuum bruh)
Every fic is rated Explicit here cause I’m trash. (there are mature fics too, but haha, all of them have secks)
Eren is a rich religious kid sent to an average public school. He’s a real Jesus freak but he soon finds out his teacher is the devil.
My thoughts: Okay this is tops, the most sinful sinful fic I have ever read because Eren is this religious kid and Levi is an athiest, he wants Eren to think out of the box by making him do sinful stuff.
Basically we all are going to hell anyways, do yourself a favour and read it :)
Warnings: Sinning, (almost) canonical age difference, mildly dubious content, possessive Levi (ayye)
Eren leaves a note of thanks to whoever it is who keeps cleaning the shared toilet and shower block in his university accommodation and ends up with an unconventional version of a penpal.
Eren had a crush. He knew there was no point denying it, but it seemed so stupid – how could he have feelings like that for someone he’d never even seen?
My thoughts: Do you guys ever wish to read a fic once in a while which is short, sweet, but captures the dynamics of Ereri perfectly? If yes then read this fucking fic. Like this is so so so great and I’ve read it 10 times already and it never fails to make me laugh. I love this fic so much y’all have no idea.
Warnings: Latin language kink (Levi speaks dirty latin, WHAT ELSE DO YOU ALL NEED IN LIFE?)
The story is set in an AU world where Eren was only a child when the humanity won against Titans. When he’s fifteen, he meets Levi, humanity’s introverted hero, who is not exactly the kind of person people believe he is. Rated M for future chapters.
My thoughts: Definitely going to hell for this fic, DO I MIND? NOPE, AS LONG AS IT IS THIS FIC I DO NOT MIND. I LOVE THIS FIC CAUSE..characterization, yep. No, but i’m not kidding, the characterization is lovely, basically gives you an idea of how Levi’s life turned out to be after the war, and maaan THE ROMANCE BETWEEN LEVI AND EREN IS MY LIFE GOALS. (yes i know i’m going to hell, I CAN’T HELP)
Warnings: Sinning, canon age difference (and it’s rated explicit so tread carefully), sliiight angst??
In the Recon Corps, reading and comprehending paperwork is equally as crucial as it is beyond the realm of Eren’s capabilities. However, with his CO’s confidential tutelage, Eren is sure he’ll be able to catch up with his comrades in no time… if he can shake this unexpected suspicion that his fondness for humanity’s strongest soldier isn’t simple hero worship.
Hint: He cannot.
My thoughts: Okay I’m gonna be honest I was suspicious about this fic first cause it sounded like something I would totally skip by. Canonverse doesn’t do for me cause angst, but this is so famous in the fandom and i was like: sure, why shouldn’t I try this out. I did. I loved it. Fuck man, this fic is exactly how canonverse should be, sometimes I ask myself why I ship Ereri, this is the fic I read and ahhh I fall in love with Ereri all over again (which is not good cause it takes over my sanity) GET THIS FIC AWAY FROM ME, IT KEEPS ME IN THE ERERI HELL.
Warnings: Age difference, there isss angst at end but READ IT??
Honourable mentions: @gootbuttheichou, whose every fic is golden and it will take me days to list why I love them so much cause I LOVE THEM SO MUCH??? LIKE???? TOO GREAT, TOO GOOD, READ ALL OF THEIR FICS BRO.
As the back of the chair is lowered, Eren takes a few deep breaths. The more horizontal his position becomes, the more he begins to question his life choices – specifically the one to chew oodles of gum instead of actually brushing his teeth regularly, but also the one to not turn at his heels and walk away upon laying eyes on not-Dr. Smith, otherwise known as Dr. Ackerman. Though half of the man’s face is now covered by a surgical mask, he still manages to appear fleetingly irritated as he stares down at Eren.
“In addition to sitting down, you’ll also have to open your mouth, you know,” he points out as he adjusts the overhead light.
(prompt: I want a fic where one of them is a dentist and the other has some cavities to be filled. I don’t care with one is which, but I do prefer the dentist isn’t sadistic (though that doesn’t have to mean the appointment is pain-free). I want fluffy hurt/comfort kind of stuff.)
My thoughts: OK HOLD ON CHILDREN, HERE’S A TINY STORY, WHEN I first got in Ereri in 2014 (this ship has been destroying my life for that long, hm interesting) I READ THIS FIC. THIS WAS BASICALLY THE ONLY NON SEX FIC I READ BECAUSE I WASN’T READY FOR SMUT THEN. I was in denial that I was shipping Ereri that’s why. THAT’S HOW EARLY ON I READ THIS FIC. And man I have no words as to how much I utterly love this fic. Do you have that one fic that will always be your favorite no matter how many fics you read?? It is kinda like Harry Potter, which is the base fandom, no matter how many fandoms you’ll be part of it will always remain /the/ fandom. Dental Care is the fic version for me. It has gotten me through countless bad days, happy days, ehh days, and it never fails to make me feel lighter. This fic deserves more recommendation and honestly MARRY ME FOR WRITING THIS FIC. I LOVE YOU.
WHEN I DIE, BURY ME WITH A COPY OF THIS FIC I AM NOT KIDDING. I WANT TO SPEND MY ETERNITY READING THIS. PLEASE.
Warnings: first part is rated T but the second part of the series is E cause PRAISE KINK, YAAAAS :D + domestic!Ereri.
When Scouting Legions main trading partner, Wall Maria, is experiencing economic strain from constant attacks by the neighboring kingdom Titan, the leaders of the two nations come to an agreement: Scouting Legion will provide military protection in exchange for land and financial aid for the still growing nation. Their new alliance will be sealed with the union of King Jaegar’s son Eren to the Scouting legions strongest soldier, Lance Corporal Levi. But how will the cold, impassive soldier warm to his new husband, who is far from the weak, spoiled princess he was expecting?
My thoughts: Bro…this fic is written by one of the coolest people in this fandom, basically this fic makes me giggle and squee and this is literally the third time I’m reading this and I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN AS TO HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC. Great characterization, I loved LOVED how slowbuild worked out in this one, and how Levi warmed up and how adorable Eren was. The fic buildup was gorgeous. Love, love this fic.
Warnings: Age difference (can y’all tell I have an age difference kink? don’t hate me, I’ve been brought up that way), ANGST i wont tell y’all where or it will spoil it.
Armin was convinced that it was the opportunity of a lifetime, but Eren just saw it as just another chance to fail. Nothing good could possibly come out of an internship in a stuffy office at Survey Corporation. Eren would have been content to sit and watch the remainder of his senior year pass him by. However, after one elevator trip, Eren finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew about life and himself.
My thoughts: I dunno what’s the point of listing this fic, it is way too popular for any Ereri shipper for not having heard of it. But fuck this, this is my list and I will add every fic I love here. Here have a little story about this fic. I absolutely fucking hate eru/ri and it is not cause Ereri is my Otp. There’s another personal reason and that’s why I hate this ship a little wee more than I should. But this is the only fic where I was ok with that ship, and hell, Erwin is one of my favorite characters in the fic. Makes me think I shouldn’t hate him but who am I kidding. GO DIE IN HELL. This fic isn’t just black and white, it isn’t just OOH ERWIN IS EVIL!!! EWWWW and while I love where Erwin is hated but this fic is refreshing cause he is not evil, and that is how most of the villains are. I loved his character ok. Also this fic uses Eru/ri to show how lovely Ereri is and that is very clever. But more than any character I absolutely adored Levi. Ok I’m done.
(I wont still read 1994 tho, THIS IS THE ONLY FIC THAT I’LL READ WITH THIS SHIP)
Warnings: People think this is non-con, I don’t. That’s it. Also too much angst??? I cried.
Eren lives by the ocean in a peaceful, untroubled world with his classmates. He studies, dreams of going out to sea on the boats to see what lies beyond the horizon, spends his afternoons by the water’s edge with his friends, and sneaks out at night more often than he should. His greatest ambition is to join the crew of the Wings of Freedom, but after making a disastrous first impression on Captain Levi, joining his company will be easier said than done. Despite the insults and the bruising, Eren is determined and he vows to do whatever it takes to impress the captain before the ship is out of drydock.
My thoughts: Ok I’m not an author (ok ok fine I know I’m writing a fic rn but) I am an artist. I draw and hate my drawings, the usual artsy things. So there is one thing that is equivalent to porn for me is imagery of fics. Most of the fics don’t have that, most of them focus on characters, and here is a fic in which everything is pure gorgeousness. The imagery of this fic is astounding. I feel like I am in the seaside and not cold frozen north when I read this. The words weaved together are like a cocoon and it surrounds you, all you see is the fic playing out in front of you. I swear to fucking god I felt the sea breeze blow past by me when I was reading this (finally going mad I guess BUT FUCK IT) Trust me, as an artist, this fic is my to go recommendation for my artist friends. And HAVE I TALKED ABOUT GENTLE LEVI, SON? GENTLE LEVI IS MY KINK. THIS FIC MADE IT MY KINK. I WOULD KINKSHAME MYSELF BUT LATER.
Fucking Imagery and Ereri. Two of my favorite things are in this fic. READ IT.
He was just looking for a way to pay the bills — a job that was easy, fun, and something he was into. Where could he possibly go wrong with a travel agency? Assistant!Eren Boss!Rivaille; Office AU.
My thoughts: Oh fluff so sweet that your heart will go doki doki. Read this on bad days, read this on good days, read it whenever you can. It is pretty sweet and cute. Not very much angst but office au, MMM YES.
When reclusive Eren Yeager finds a half-frozen stranger on his front porch, he has no idea how much the encounter will come to change his life. And yet, even as his fascination grows, so do the mysteries around the enigmatic man. Who exactly is Levi, and can Eren trust him?
My thoughts: Okay the funny thing is that I don‘t know how I came across this fic??? like at any given point I have atleast 13 ereri fanfictions open on my phone (+ Himemiko/Rock’n’dolless doujins CAUSE IF I’M GONNA BE TRASH, I WILL BE PROPER TRASH) anyways, this was fucking open and I just went “eh? It’s ereri, explicit, my checklist is ticked off” and read it. It is a pretty beautiful fic. Again, imagery is at work in this fic. ALSO I AM CLAUSTROPHOBIC so this fic holds a special place in my cold heart. But other than that, I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH GOD HELP ME I’M SO SO SO IN LOVE
Eren’s your typical high school student, despite his anger management problems. One day, he has to visit the nurse’s office to only discover that the usual nurse has been replaced by a man with steel gray eyes and a mouth with no filter. Eren’s interest is piqued.
My thoughts: WHY IS THIS FIC NOT RECOMMENDED ENOUGH??? IDK MAN, THIS IS cLASSIC. PURE CLASsic. Lil angst. BUT MAN PLEASE READ THIS FIC. I’VE READ IT 20 TIMES I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH WHY YOU NEED TO READ THIS FIC BUT YA NEED TOO. TRUST ME.
Warnings: Age difference, rated mature but
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K, oh wow this list got huge but I’m not done yet, IM GONNA MAKE A PART TWO, SO GET READY PEOPLE.
TODAY WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE
seriously south by so what was just…..wow. ive been so miserable so getting to come home was a treat. having a friend that buys me tickets to see my fav bands is even better. getting to jump around & yell the lyrics to our fav songs is literal therapy. i usually feel so ready to die but today i am SO HAPPY TO BE ALIVE
-sorority noise had a sick set & their lyrics truly touch my heart (and i cant wait to hang up their flag in my dorm)
-seeing major leagues last show in tx was a lil heartbreaking
-RUNNING INTO DAN FROM REAL FRIENDS AND GETTING TO HUG HIM AND WOOOOWWW I CANT BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED !!!! LOVE OF MY LIFE MY EVERYTHIN MG
-meeting derek from sc again
-sneaking into neck deeps VIP signing & meeting them 😩😩 like srsly holy shit that band is next level
-getting kicked in the head by crowd surfers multiple times :-) during sc set :-)
-MANAGING TO GET BARRICADE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE FOR NECK DEEP
-neck deep performing smooth seas dont make good sailors ???? & head to the ground ??? & lime st ??? singing along w my fav ppl?????
-watching araceli give rsg her painting 8(
im gonna remember this for such a long time. so blessed. sometimes id rather be alive than dead. everything is cool man. wow, what a great day.