dead!dirk

alittlefellowinawideworld  asked:

I rewatched DGHDA (because what else am I going to do with my life) and the first time we see Dirk he's sleeping. I can't help but feel like Dirk sleeps dead straight on his bed in whatever clothes he has on because he grew up in a clinical lab cell with a really narrow cot and no comfy pajamas. Why do I keep making myself sad?

OUCH.

I mean, probably accurate, but ouch. I imagine he’s very into pyjamas, because he never had little indulgences like that when he was younger. But I think you’re right - his time at Blackwing has made him pretty good at sleeping in his clothes when he needs to. He seems pampered but he’s actually totally unused to luxury.

I’m sorry you made yourself sad. Would it help at all to picture Todd, at the end of a long case, patiently helping Dirk to get undressed and put his pyjamas on, because Dirk is too sleepy to do it himself, and Todd won’t let him sleep fully clothed? 

Dirk would be incredibly grateful of course, but not surprised, because Todd is an excellent assistant. But a little surprised, because he’s occasionally still struck dumb by the mere fact of Todd’s existence, and it always catches him slightly off guard when Todd pushes him towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, or reminds him to take his vitamins, or carries an extra pair of gloves for him. 

There are a lot of habits from Blackwing that he never managed to shake, despite trying so very hard to do–and own, and be–all of the bright, silly things they always disapproved of him doing. He still instinctively hoards information and deflects questions, because information is currency and it’s the only one he has. He still flinches whenever anyone uses the word “experiment”, or talks about his “abilities”. And he still sleeps on his back, arms neatly by his sides, even though he generally has more room to maneuvre now.  

Todd has, seemingly without realising, been breaking Dirk of these habits one by one since they first met. Todd pushes Dirk to be honest with him, to let him in on his process, not to hold things back until he’s managed to figure everything out himself. He teases him about being a crappy psychic, but smiles while he does it, so that Dirk doesn’t even mind him using the Silent P Word. And now that their friendship has been… promoted to something more, and they’re sharing a bed, Todd has made it his mission to help Dirk relax and sprawl out a little, because it’s unnerving to sleep next to someone who’s basically posed like a corpse.

Of course, this doesn’t really take effect until Dirk discovers the optimal cuddling position–Todd’s head on his shoulder, Todd’s arm around his waist–and then he really gets on board. The fact that he sleeps better now, and has fewer nightmares, is an unexpected bonus.

These days Dirk almost never wakes up cold and uncomfortable and fully dressed. He wakes up wearing a Mexican Funeral t-shirt, with a Mexican Funeral frontman draped all over his front. It’s a decided improvement.

I was having the cutest mental images about Dirk Gently dragging Todd out of the apartment after they hear an ice-cream truck driving slowly down the street playing a terrible tinny version of Greensleeves.

But then I remembered the Brooklyn 99 episode where Jake’s being held hostage in an ice-cream truck and figured that Dirk would be exactly the kind of person who’d stumble upon the only ice-cream truck in all of Seatte that serves as a mobile front for a sect of ancient Gregorians who end up kidnapping him because they believe he can communicate with the spirit of Pope Gregory VII and things are looking pretty dark until Farah kicks the door in while Amanda goes to town on the front windshield with a baseball bat.

And they’re sitting there as the police drive the monks away in several armoured vans (and Estevez is giving them Looks™ of sheer discomfort) and Dirk’s like wait, how did you find me?

And almost in unison the mystery squad reply that he hadn’t done anything super annoying to them for like five hours so they knew that something was wrong.

And Dirk’s sitting there like oh, that’s very insulting but also dead-on.

i had a sadstuck au today where dirk dies and jake retreats and hides somewhere and aranea says “oh let me activate your hope powers u can bring him back” but she doesnt make it last so jake gets one (1) forehead smooch from dead dirk and enough time to think “i forgot what your voice sounds like” before hes gone again and then jake cries a lot. 

eventually the crew are trying to get jakes hope powers for some other reason and keep being like “ok what do you want more than anything, whats the thing you hope will be possible more than anything” and hes just “i want dirk back" 

and hes alone later trying to sleep but cant and he starts crying again and thinks about all his memories of dirk and everything they did together and what it was like to have him and hold him and kiss him and do things together and eat breakfast in the mornings and he works himself up to a total mess crying and. 

opens his eyes and sees that he’s glowing. and dirk is there, sitting across from him, watching him and smiling. and then they like go fight something and live happily ever after. theres more details because its a non sburb au but thats the main idea.

The list of movies and tv-shows (Multifandom Mashup 2016)

                                                    Movies:

  1. 13 Hours
  2. A Hologram for the King
  3. A Monster Calls
  4. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie
  5. Alice Through the Looking Glass
  6. Allegiant
  7. American Honey
  8. American Pastoral
  9. Angry Birds
  10. Anthropoid
  11. Approaching the Unknown
  12. Arrival
  13. Assassin’s Creed
  14. Bad Moms
  15. Bastille Day
  16. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
  17. Before I Wake
  18. Benefactor
  19. Ben-Hur
  20. Bleed for This
  21. Bridget Jones’s Baby’
  22. Café Society
  23. Captain America: Civil War
  24. Captain Fantastic
  25. Cell
  26. Central Intelligence
  27. Collide
  28. Complete Unknown
  29. Criminal
  30. Deadpool
  31. Dear Eleanor
  32. Deepwater Horizon
  33. Denial
  34. Doctor Strange
  35. Don’t Breathe
  36. Don’t Think Twice
  37. Eddie the Eagle
  38. Emelie
  39. Everybody Wants Some!!
  40. Exposed
  41. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
  42. Finding Dory
  43. Florence Foster Jenkins
  44. Free Fire
  45. Free State of Jones
  46. Genius
  47. Ghostbusters
  48. Gods of Egypt
  49. Grimsby
  50. Hacksaw Ridge
  51. Hail, Caesar!
  52. Hands of Stone
  53. How to Be Single
  54. Hunt for the Wilderpeople
  55. Hush
  56. I Am Wrath
  57. I.T.
  58. Ice Age: Collision Course
  59. In a Valley of Violence
  60. In Dubious Battle
  61. Independence Day: Resurgence              
  62. Indignation
  63. Inferno
  64. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
  65. Jackie
  66. Jason Bourne
  67. Juste la fin du monde
  68. Kickboxer
  69. Kicks
  70. Kill Command
  71. Kubo and the Two Strings
  72. Kung Fu Panda 3
  73. La La Land
  74. Les innocentes
  75. Lights Out
  76. Lion
  77. London Has Fallen
  78. Love & Friendship
  79. Loving
  80. Mahana
  81. Manhattan night
  82. Me Before You
  83. Midnight Special
  84. Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
  85. Misconduct
  86. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
  87. Moana
  88. Moonlight
  89. Morgan
  90. Mothers and Daughters
  91. Mother’s Day
  92. Mr. Church
  93. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
  94. Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising
  95. Nerve
  96. Nine Lives
  97. Nocturnal Animals
  98. Now You See Me 2
  99. Ouija: Origin of Evil
  100. Passengers
  101. Pee-wee’s Big Holiday
  102. Pelé: Birth of a Legend
  103. Pete’s Dragon
  104. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
  105. Precious Cargo
  106. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
  107. Race
  108. Ratchet & Clank
  109. Risen
  110. Robinson Crusoe
  111. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
  112. Rules Don’t Apply
  113. Sing
  114. Skiptrace
  115. Snowden
  116. Star Trek Beyond
  117. Suicide Squad
  118. Sully
  119. Swiss Army Man
  120. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
  121. Term Life
  122. The 5th Wave
  123. The 9th Life of Louis Drax
  124. The Accountant
  125. The BFG
  126. The Birth of a Nation
  127. The Boss
  128. The Boy
  129. The Bronze
  130. The Choice
  131. The Conjuring 2
  132. The Darkness
  133. The Do-Over
  134. The Duel
  135. The Dust Storm
  136. The Finest Hours
  137. The Forest
  138. The Fundamentals of Caring
  139. The Girl on the Train
  140. The Girl with All the Gifts
  141. The Huntsman: Winter’s War
  142. The Infiltrator
  143. The Jungle Book
  144. The Land
  145. The Legend of Tarzan
  146. The Light Between Oceans
  147. The Lost City of Z
  148. The Magnificent Seven
  149. The Neon Demon
  150. The Nice Guys
  151. The Other Side of the Door
  152. The Phenom
  153. The Preppie Connection
  154. The Purge: Election Year
  155. The Secret Life of Pets
  156. The Shallows
  157. The Veil
  158. The Young Messiah
  159. Triple 9
  160. Trolls
  161. Underworld: Blood Wars
  162. Undrafted
  163. Urge
  164. USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage
  165. War Dogs
  166. War on Everyone
  167. Warcraft
  168. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
  169. Why Him?
  170. Wiener-Dog
  171. X-Men: Apocalypse
  172. Zoolander 2
  173. Zootopia

                                                       Tv-shows:

  1. 100 
  2.  2 Broke Girls 
  3.  Agent Carter 
  4.  Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 
  5.  Arrow Castle 
  6.  Daredevil 
  7.  Gotham 
  8.  Mr. Robot 
  9.  Once Upon a Time 
  10.  Orphan Black 
  11.  Outlander 
  12.  Person of Interest 
  13.  Reign 
  14.  Sherlock 
  15.  Suits 
  16.  Supernatural 
  17.  Teen Wolf 
  18.  The Big Bang Theory 
  19.  The Flash 
  20.  The Magicians 
  21.  The Originals 
  22.  The Vampire Diaries 
  23.  The Walking Dead 
  24.  Class 
  25.  Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency 
  26.  Eyewitness 
  27.  Game of Thrones 
  28.  House of Cards 
  29.  How to Get Away with Murder 
  30.  Humans 
  31.  Legends of Tomorrow 
  32.  Lucifer 
  33.  Luke Cage 
  34.  Penny Dreadful 
  35.  Preacher 
  36.  Scream 
  37.  Shadowhunters 
  38.  Shameless 
  39.  Stranger Things 
  40.  Supergirl 
  41.  The Crown 
  42.  The Night Manager 
  43.  Victoria 
  44.  War & Peace 
  45.  Westworld 
  46.  Wynonna Earp

                                                Animation:

  1. Yuri on ice 
  2. Bungou Stray Dogs
  3. Gravity Falls