I'm sorry, Estevez and Zimmerfield can't come to the phone right now.


Oh, cause they’re dead.

alittlefellowinawideworld  asked:

I rewatched DGHDA (because what else am I going to do with my life) and the first time we see Dirk he's sleeping. I can't help but feel like Dirk sleeps dead straight on his bed in whatever clothes he has on because he grew up in a clinical lab cell with a really narrow cot and no comfy pajamas. Why do I keep making myself sad?


I mean, probably accurate, but ouch. I imagine he’s very into pyjamas, because he never had little indulgences like that when he was younger. But I think you’re right - his time at Blackwing has made him pretty good at sleeping in his clothes when he needs to. He seems pampered but he’s actually totally unused to luxury.

I’m sorry you made yourself sad. Would it help at all to picture Todd, at the end of a long case, patiently helping Dirk to get undressed and put his pyjamas on, because Dirk is too sleepy to do it himself, and Todd won’t let him sleep fully clothed? 

Dirk would be incredibly grateful of course, but not surprised, because Todd is an excellent assistant. But a little surprised, because he’s occasionally still struck dumb by the mere fact of Todd’s existence, and it always catches him slightly off guard when Todd pushes him towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, or reminds him to take his vitamins, or carries an extra pair of gloves for him. 

There are a lot of habits from Blackwing that he never managed to shake, despite trying so very hard to do–and own, and be–all of the bright, silly things they always disapproved of him doing. He still instinctively hoards information and deflects questions, because information is currency and it’s the only one he has. He still flinches whenever anyone uses the word “experiment”, or talks about his “abilities”. And he still sleeps on his back, arms neatly by his sides, even though he generally has more room to maneuvre now.  

Todd has, seemingly without realising, been breaking Dirk of these habits one by one since they first met. Todd pushes Dirk to be honest with him, to let him in on his process, not to hold things back until he’s managed to figure everything out himself. He teases him about being a crappy psychic, but smiles while he does it, so that Dirk doesn’t even mind him using the Silent P Word. And now that their friendship has been… promoted to something more, and they’re sharing a bed, Todd has made it his mission to help Dirk relax and sprawl out a little, because it’s unnerving to sleep next to someone who’s basically posed like a corpse.

Of course, this doesn’t really take effect until Dirk discovers the optimal cuddling position–Todd’s head on his shoulder, Todd’s arm around his waist–and then he really gets on board. The fact that he sleeps better now, and has fewer nightmares, is an unexpected bonus.

These days Dirk almost never wakes up cold and uncomfortable and fully dressed. He wakes up wearing a Mexican Funeral t-shirt, with a Mexican Funeral frontman draped all over his front. It’s a decided improvement.

anonymous asked:

What about young dirk becoming infatuated with a random blackwing guard who isn’t actively horrible and chats to him occasionally because he’s starved of human connection and emotional outlet :(((

This kind of hits on my Big All Encompassing Thought atm which is “Why is Dirk reasonably socially adjusted but Bart looks like the result of the Mouse Utopia experiment?’

Dirk is able to communicate, emphasise and fit more or less into modern life. We can see he is able to feed and dress himself - and although he seems to have some trouble understanding other people’s motivations (“Are you… mad at me?” and the awkward friendly Farah pat) he is able to emphasise (“You fell in love…”) shows he did have some social development. I mean, we’re told in Season 2 that Dirk was able to socialise with other Projects - and maybe there were some Black Wing guards in there too.

But BART, man. Bart shows none of the behaviour we would expect of someone socialised at a young age. She regularly stoops and seems malnourished. She is very non-verbal, and seems unable to empathise (I can’t remember the exact quote but “When they’re dead they’re not happy anymore!”). It’s probable that she was one of the ‘dangerous’ projects and kept isolated, even from guards.

So - going back to the original prompt - Dirk should be, in some ways, really grateful that Black Wing made the choice to socially develop him. Because we know the alternative and - for someone who is not made immune by the universe - his life would probably have ended well before it began.

Been Searching High And Low For This- I See You've Been Focusing On The 'High'

Ayyy it’s me again!

I just really wanted to do something fluffy, so today I’ve been bashing out some more fic in the groupchat based on a convo I had with the wonderful @kieren-fucking-walker- I’m glad you’ve been dragged headfirst into this fandom darling, it’s bloody nice to have you here <3

This is basically fluff fluff fluff, with a tiny bit of Dirk-typical low self-esteem/disbelief, and uh… lots of weed. Idk what to tell you, Todd’s a fucking stoner and I’ve got receipts.

Anyway, enjoy! <3

(read on Ao3)

Dirk had learned quite a long time ago that Todd wasn’t much of a phone-answerer. Sometimes Dirk wondered why he even carried the blasted thing if he had no intention of using it as anything more than an expensive pocket-filler slash paperweight. Dirk was quite used to it by now, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating when Todd had his little uncommunicative spells when Dirk had important questions to ask him.

Such as: is three weeks too out of date for milk to be usable?

Keep reading

An unseen moment at the end of Uskerty

“Karl! Why aren’t you answering your radio?” Dirk the groundsman demanded as he barrelled into Karl’s control room office.

Karl pointed wordlessly out across the tarmac.

The two men were silent for a minute, then:

“I think the sheep is dead,” said Dirk.

“Yes.” Another pause. “The goose isn’t though.”

“Have you ever seen anybody so happy to have a goose shit on them?”

“They get madder every day, that lot.”