Yeah but now I want to talk about hummus......(no seriously, what's the deal? LOL)
OKAY SO. I have nothing against hummus as a food group, right. BUT a very silly mistake on my part has led me to be the biggest joke in all my friend groups. Because I can’t tell what hummus looks like, apparently.
Two years ago I was getting lunch with my friend in one of our school’s dining halls, right? And in the front there was free food samples which really isn’t that weird at my school. My friend went ahead, while I stopped to look at the samples bc free food is free food and why ever turn that down?
Anyway the samples were apple slices and this brown creamy substance for dipping the apple slices in- which I assumed to be hummus since there was no food label. And I really didn’t think anything of it bc I had thought I’d heard about someone eating apples with hummus so okay whatever.
Well. The creamy brown substance was not hummus.
A few minutes later my mouth started to get itchy, I felt hot and had difficulty swallowing. I immediately realized what was the problem and went to my friend.
“Did you try the samples in the front?” I asked her.
“You mean the apples and peanut butter?” she said. “Yeah, why?”
I’M ALLERGIC TO NUTS. OKAY. I was having an allergic reaction- a mild one bc I’m more allergic to other types of nuts than peanut butter- AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS
She says: “WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK THAT WAS HUMMUS NO ONE EATS APPLES WITH HUMMUS!!!!! NO ONE!!! ARE YOU GOING TO DIE BC YOU DIDN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BTWN HUMMUS AND PEANUT BUTTER?!?!?!”
I didn’t die of course but this story has led to numerous jokes ever since. This same friend gave me this card for Valentine’s Day THIS YEAR (TWO YEARS AFTER THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED):
I just thought about what if Jason accidentally fakes his death? Like the batfam thought his still in a warehouse or something when it blew, and his comms destroyed so they can't call him, and he just went to a safe house after to sleep and like he doesn't know until a few weeks later when he shows up at the manor to meet up with Alfred for tea.
would it be better or worse if he wasn’t even really getting along with the rest of the family at that point? either way you play it, jason has a bunch of redundancies for his safe houses, and he was trained just as well as any of them. there has to be at least one or two he’s managed to keep secret from the rest of the bats.
jay doesn’t really make a habit of carrying explosives in his helmet anymore; that was really more of a one-off when he first came back to gotham. since then, he generally just carries more explosives with him to make up for it. because of that, and because he’s usually fighting standard-grade humans, it’s not all that likely that he tosses his helmet aside in the middle of a fight.
a warehouse blows. red hood was in it, they know that (it all but had “This Is A Trap For Red Hood”written all over it), and when searching it, the bats find the badly burnt remnants of hood’s shattered helmet. no body, but –
it’s easy to assume the worst. it’s already happened once, after all. they hold on to hope for a week, but they haven’t been able to find any sign of jason. he can’t be raised on his comms, he hasn’t been in any of the safe houses that they know of, oracle couldn’t find any sign of him on cameras.
no sign of him in a hospital or even leslie’s clinic, no body matching his description in the morgue. (that last doesn’t mean anything. no body at the warehouse, but someone had set the trap – they could have easily dumped it somewhere else.)
there’s no sign of him, living or dead, anywhere in the city so far as they can tell.
red hood’s been throwing himself into ever-escalating fights since he came back to gotham, and finally they have to assume that this time, his luck didn’t hold long enough for him to get out.
the family sinks into some kind of shock. it’s impossible to believe that they lost him again.
it’s not something that can even be explained to the public. how do you explain that you’re in fresh mourning for a son and brother that was declared dead over half a decade ago?
then again, all the bats are good at hiding how they feel.
Dean: Cas! *laughs* Damn, it’s good to see you. Dean: [brushes a finger across Cas’ cheek] Nice peach fuzz.
Castiel: How did you find me. Dean: The bloody way. You feeling okay?
Benny: Why’d you bail on Dean? Dean: [defensively] Dude. Benny: The way I hear it you two hit monster land and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some back story. Dean: Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas, obviously he kicked it’s ass, right? Cas: [ashamed] No. Dean: [dumbfounded] What? Cas: I ran away. Dean: [disbelieving] You ran away?? Cas: I had to. Dean: That’s your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla wolves? Cas: Dean. Dean: You bailed out and what, went camping? - I prayed to you Cas, every night. Cas: I know. Dean: You know and you didn’t… [taken aback] what the hell’s wrong with you? Cas: I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived. Dean: Join the club! Cas: These are not just monsters, Dean, they’re leviathan! I have a price on my head, and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to… to keep them away from you. That’s why I ran. Dean: [relaxes] [understands]
Dean: Hold on, hold on. Cas, we’re getting out of here. We’re going home. Cas: Dean, I can’t. Dean: You can.
Dean: Hey, we’ll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you. Cas: [brokenly] Dean…
Dean: Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Understand? Cas: I understand.
When did ya’ll start hating on Joss Whedon? Like, really? This is the guy who gave us Buffy and Zoe Washburne and River Tam. We know he can write badass female characters, and more than that, he wants to. He has been at the forefront of strong female character writing for over a decade.
Watch any of his interviews. Watch Firefly.
The key is that he doesn’t just write strong female characters. He writes strong, flawed, diverse female characters. Y'know, kind of like the male characters get to be. He writes women who are kind and cruel and fragile and heroic and loyal and manipulative and petty and unafraid. He writes women who are warriors, and women who are not. He writes women who would give up everything for the people they love, and women who could care less. He writes women in a way that is just as dynamic and complex as their male counterparts. And he has long before the Marvel or DC movies came along.
The question isn’t whether he can write strong female characters. The question is whether his vision for the movie/character lines up with the direction DC wants to go for that particular character. Was he the best person to write Wonder Woman? Maybe, maybe not. He’s got a distinct edge of snark that might not have been what Diana needed. But I guarantee it’s no coincidence DC has him lined up to write one of the most amazing female characters in the DC-verse. It’s because strong female characters is what he does.
“So, why do you always write these strong women characters?”
Because equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who is confronted with it.
We need equality. Kinda now.
“So, why do you always write these strong women characters?”
Welcome back to the story! If you need to catch up, check out the Master List HERE.
This tried to just be smut but OH MY GOD THE FEELS just overwhelmed it. Still so very NSFW so you know…!! Shout out to my lovely @bethy-sue for helping me with this scene! I am 100% in love with these boys and hope you guys are too!
“So do you actually know any of these people?” Bucky asked, carefully grasping a champagne flute, wrinkling his nose at the taste.
“Some of them.” Tony remarked, draining his glass and reaching for another. “I’ll be able to pretend to like more of them after a few more glasses of this.”
“Geez Tony.” Bucky chuckled. “Why do you come if you hate it so much?”
“With great money comes—” Tony motioned around the room. “Great nonsense. Speaking of great money,” he stepped a little closer. “We didn’t actually do a ton of talking earlier. About the whole me secretly being a billionaire and all that.”
“Yeah, well there’s so much more to do with our mouths than talk, sweet thing.” Bucky murmured and Tony nearly snapped the fragile glass stem in half.