Now that Ghostbusters is getting a ladies-only reboot...
I, tumblr user khaleesi, had an idea for for another cast that keeps getting frigging rebooted. Because I have like basically no Photoshop skills and also I am lazy, this is fully text-based sorry 2 make u read (only not rly).
BATMAN. BATMAN AS ALL WOMEN. I know Batwoman is already a thing and she should have her own movie but just FOLLOW ALONG CHILDREN. TRUST IN ME.
Batwoman: Viola Davis OR Laverne Cox. I am not picky and think they would both bring something different and much more interesting to a role that is, tbh, really fucking boring overall. (Sad rich white dude gets mad, seeks justice through money! I FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY THROUGH THIS SENTENCE.) Tbh I am envisioning this as a Bruce Wayne thing and not a Kate Kane thing, though I also want Kate Kane around. Viola can be one and Laverne can be the other. There.
Robin: Stephanie Beatriz. I’m thinking a Jason Todd Robin here – equal parts sheer badass and surprising vulnerability. We’ve seen that Beatriz can do both in spades in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Nightwing: Lupita Nyong'o. I will hear nothing else. Preternaturally beautiful and an eternal optimist? I would LOVE to see this goddess in this role.
Alfred(a): Maggie Smith. Just the right level of gravitas, snark, and innate competence.
Comissioner Gordon:Lucy Liu. I think she does soooort of a similar role as Watson on Elementary, but imagine Lucy Liu and Laverne Cox or Viola Davis working together to take down the forces of evil. You’re welcome.
The Joker: Rosamund Pike. End of discussion. Did you see Gone Girl? That’s what I thought.
Catwoman:Rosario Dawson. I am in no mood for making Catwoman a dude and in every mood for villain/hero lesbian relationships bye.
Harvey Dent: Yo, this is a Gina Torres role if ever there was one. Dent’s a tragedy – I think she would be very, very capable of bringing that edge of desperation and heartbreak to Dent’s villainy. I kinda like keeping Harvey as her name, too. Why the hell not. Gender is a construct anyway.
The Riddler:Rachel Weisz. I actually have no idea why, I just think it would be amazing.
Harley Quinn: Jesse Williams. Again I don’t have a justification for this, just a deep-set surety that it is Right.
Poison Ivy: Idris Elba. Unexpected but again PRETTY PERF. Also I think he would like fantastic in a lot of green.
Oracle: Sebastian Stan. Just imagine it with me for a minute. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. No, look, I know that would mean Sebastian Stan would have to be Lucy Liu’s child and also somehow exist as people in both DC and Marvel universes. The obstacles are many, but the chin dimple is worth it. Just let me have this. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS, INTERNET.
If DC retcons Harley finally divorcingherself from Joker as her own character, I won’t stop ever shut up, the whole world will hear me fight about this until I die. You don’t go from a woman finally getting the upper-hand against her sometimes abuser to putting them back again willy-nilly. Continuity may forget, but readers won’t. “Remove the thorn, but remains the scar.”