This is gonna be emotionally charged but free to reblog because its all good. I just feel I have to get it out.
So first off shout out to @leppardbowie for posting such a wonderful tribute video in honour of the Heroes 40th anniversary. I feel really touched by it.
It never ends. Never. And nor do I want it to. Every time, be it watching a DVD, listening to a CD or record or simply reading a book. Catching a video on the TVC15 (as I call it), I always feel excitement when watching/listening to/reading anything related to David Bowie. His presence is still being felt even though he, himself, is no longer here. Its like you can just feel it! If something mischievous happens, you can bet its something to do with him.
When watching his movies, I know whats to happen next and yet I still get chills. Be it the tweezer scene in The Man Who Fell To Earth or the death scene in Just A Gigolo (spoiler alert) and yet I still tense up. “GIVE HIM THE DAMN TWEEZERS! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HIS EYES!” I sometimes shout. (Yes I, like Tommy, shout at the TV set) I scream when watching the gun sex scene, I nearly cry and sometimes do cry when watching some of his movie scenes.
Listening to his music makes me feel many things. From joy to deep sadness and fear depending on the song in question. Its hard to really pick a favourite album or song. So I stick by default to Station To Station (album) and Starman (song) Many things can move me but Only few things can actually make me weep and those things are him singing Imagine, Just A Gigolo sometimes and some of the things I have read about David as a person.
I won’t go into the day of when he checked out of this hotel of life but I can tell you that that was a day I blocked out as best I could and only occasionally remember. What makes it more painful is the wonders that continue to be unlocked for me thanks to him and not being able to thank him for such treasures. I graduated college with a degree in acting. My final performance was part of a class effort in which we picked a scene to act out from our most treasured movie. I picked The Man Who Fell To Earth. The scene where he watches multiple sets. On them in my case, were scenes from the film and his performance of Stay on Dinah! and his interview with Russell Harty. I also snuck in a cheating tribute to the Thin White Duke, dancing to a medley made up of all 6 songs off Station To Station. Needless to say, it went down a storm.
Loving this man has lead to me learning how to cope with heartache better. Lead to finding love and friendship. I’ve made many wonderful friends both on here and in real life through my adoration for DB. I don’t talk to every one of them much but a few. I owe this man so much because without him, things could have taken an entirely different path. One that could have lead to me not even being here anymore. I admire many, many other performers some actors, some singers and some who, like David, do both. But he’s the biggest influence.
Like anyone, he was not without his faults. He has done things that aren’t really things anyone should do but there are people who have done so much worse. He’s overcome drug addiction, he’s overcome the same problems as myself. (I’m always gonna fight the problems I have just like he did) Even when dying, he used his humour to cope with it (another thing I use a lot more). People wonder why I defend this man. People still try to take him down and accuse him of things he hasn’t done or things he has, they have maliciously been twisted by people. Well I stand by him for all the joy, excitement, love he brings me. I stand by him for the inspiration he’s given me and he, along with family and friends have helped me continue to live.
I’m never gonna stop loving, defending and listening to this man. Bowie is one of the soundtracks to life. I hope somewhere up there he sees us all on his multiple television sets. Hopefully he’d laugh at some of the antics we all get up to on here and outside.
^^^ I’ve probably rambled long enough so I’ll close this with the fact that I love him. I love his smile. I love his sass. I love the many styles he adopted. I love what he’s helped do for not just me, but many people and I love what, despite no longer being here, he continues to do. I love his many quotes…
I love you David…and I miss you sooo much. Thank you for everything <3