with the topic of marriage coming up on that last ask how would the proposal go
For davekat I have like 1,000 different scenarios in my head for it so this is by no means my be all end all hc for this but I always liked THAT ONE ROMCOM TROPE, WARNING THIS ENTIRE THING IS TROPEY AS HELL of them independently deciding It’s Time around the same time, and then stealthily trying to figure out the method on their own. Karkat would agonize over it, poring over human cultural material and quizzing kanaya relentlessly on how her and Rose’s proposal went down, how she felt, throwing ideas at her, referencing movies and romantic novels and all of it, while Kanaya just kind of sits there bemused like Karkat. I get this is important. But it’s almost kind just a formality because the answer is a given?? You know Dave he doesn’t need much I think you’re way overthinking this please stop pacing back and forth because your pacing is making me want to pace and I’m nebulously anxious just watching you ._.
And Dave is just kind of like. Flippant about it externally to people. He drops it as a joke when Karkat isn’t around obviously to people to gauge their reactions in a “safe” way like haha what if I just dropped the question unceremoniously in the middle of some totally inappropriate place obviously I won’t I’m not even thinking about that OBVIOUSLY but wouldn’t it be funny if. And everyone is increasingly suspicious, Dirk is carefully like oh yeah, that would be… hilarious … totally, and roxy is like no you need to make it shittier and more ironic and lavishing ideas for this totally not actually going to happen but everyone knows dave is actually thinking about it proposal
They kinda sneak around it gathering opinions from their friends and family until basically EVERYONE knows this is coming any time now, one of them just has to break, everyone is dropping smug hints and anticipating the moment. Dave nad Karkat are getting increasingly nervous because they’ve now built this up into this big production in both their heads and are terrified of messing it up and meanwhile they’ve kind of been avoiding each other and each one is kind of worried about what THAT means from the other person because they can’t fathom the thought that the other one is doing the exact same thing they are
So finally Karkat is probably the one that breaks first and he sets up this whole romantic date night and dave is a fucking Idiot that can’t put together what this is leading up to because he’s too preoccupied by his own shitty plans and he spends the whole amazing heartfelt well put together date totally distracted and barely experiencing it at all and Karkat is kind of upset and like hey if this is totally awkward and sucks can you please just tell me so that I can call this off instead of enduring the excruciating reality of it a second longer than necessary, I knew this was way too much, god, Kanaya TOLD me this was way too much I am such an idiot!!!!
and dave is like ??????????? no dude I’m just distracted by my own illogical existential terror sorry I’m shitting up your night, and Karkat puffs up all idignantly like ABOUT WHAT???? what could you possibly be existentially terrified by right now what the fuck is going on??? b/c he’s thinking about how weird and distant they’ve been and half worried Dave is about to like actually break up with him or something catastrophic and Dave is fiddling around with the ring in his pocket and is finally just like well fuck it if I wait another second to do this I’m going to die so sorry this is so shitty but uhhhhhhhh do you want to like???? and he pulls out this ring and Karkat is just GOBSMACKED
like are you fucking joking you spent this entire elaborate lead up I worked on spaced out because you were too preoccupied with how you were gonna do it to notice that I was in the PROCESS OF CONDUCTING MY OWN???
and dave is like oh…………………………………………shit and all the lights click on and he’s like oh god I ruined everything TWICE, incredible, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I could possibly ruin everything about this moment from BOTH SIDES SIMULTANEOUSLY holy shit and he’s just kind of standing there and he puts the ring back in his pocket and Karkat is wait what are you doing, I’m pretty sure that’s mine, are you rescinding your offer???? and dave is like wait are you accepting it???
and Karkat is like JESUS CHRIST that’s it
we’re starting this over
none of this ever happened
and he takes a deep breath and takes out his OWN ring and gets down on one knee and does the whole thing and Dave starts nervous-laughing halfway through but Karkat grits his teeth and pushes on and asks the question
Dave is just like in this southern belle accent, why mr vantas this is just all so sudden, I don’t even have permission from my family, what WILL my mother say??? and he pulls a very bewildered Karkat up back onto his feet just so he can swoon into his arms all theatrically and is like I guess we’ll just have to run off together and elope! I hope we can find an understanding minister somewhere out there….
Karkat figures out this is just some human bullshit and is deadpan like so that’s a yes. And dave drops the accent and is like uhhh yeah. yeah dude. very yes. And Karkat just melts with relief and is like oh thank fuck and they kiss a bunch and never ever ever ever ever tell anyone the whole truth about how it all actually went down and people needle them and speculate for months but nope, no one needs to know how terrible they are, thanks.