days filled with anger

Every Second of Everyday (Dan Howell x Reader)

Originally posted by shinyphan

Hey guys! I’m finally on break and finals are over! (thank lord jesus) so now I will be posting a lot more than I have been so I hope you enjoy and happy holidays!

xxx Megan

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Dan’s POV


 I miss her every second of everyday. I can’t help but wonder what she is doing and most nights I end up punching a pillow or screaming at the top of my lungs thinking about how I treated her. Thinking about how she left one night in tears. Thinking about the disgusting words that left my mouth that I would constantly throw her way. Guilt couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling that was devouring me when I thought about the fear in her eyes every time we were argue. 

 Y/N had left 2 years ago. I could never blame her though. I treated her with such disgrace and constantly regret everything I did to her. At first we were fine, an average happy couple, but then my career exploded and stress was running my life. And unfortunately I would take out all my stress and anger on her. Every night we bickered about something for a good 3 months. Then the bickering formed into top of the lungs screaming at each other until one of us ended in tear or had lost the will to fight anymore. The worst part is she was the one who stopped almost every single time. She was the one trying to desperately fix us and put us back together. And me being the dick I was just decided to ignore her and push her even farther. The night I came home and saw our bedroom only filled with my stuff didn’t surprise me at all. Hell I wasn’t even upset. That was until about a month later where I found the letter in her old underwear drawer.

 Dan,

 I bet you will either throw this in the bin, set it on fire or not even bother to read it but yet here I am writing it anyway. I’m tired. Dan I’m so tired of you complaining about shit and not even realize that the most important thing was broken. Dan Howell I love you so much and I feel like I always will but you are not willing to fight for the most valuable thing in my life. Us. If you’re not going to try to fight then I guess I should just give up too. I know it’s a shitty thing to just pack up and leave but I was already bawling writing this and I have to leave. If I talk to you in person you will make me stay and I can’t keep doing this. We’re broken. I’m broken. I’m done and so is our relationship. I can’t say I wouldn’t miss you holding me or kissing me or even looking at me cause we both know I’d be lying but I am doing this for you. You’re obviously caught up in work right now and I know how much stress and frustration you have bottled up and I know I’m just an obstacle in the way. I love you so much baby and I hope you have a good life without me getting in the way.

xxx Y/n

 I punched a hole in my wall that day. Anger filled my veins at the thought of her crying over an asshole like me, making her think she was justing getting in the way of my life. I loved her with everything I had and still do and yet I left her feeling broken and worthless. I miss her every second of every day. 

 I was currently laying in my bed, alone, staring at a picture of a beautiful couple. It was a tall, dark haired boy smiling down at a perfect girl with y/h/c. He gazed at her lovingly as her eyes were squeezed shut with a wide opened mouth on her face laughing at a dorky joke the boy had tolded her moments before. This was my favorite picture of us. We both looked so innocent and in love. So happy. My thoughts were interrupted as there was knock on my bedroom door.

 “Dan?” I heard Phil questioned on the other side of the door.

 “Yes?” I spoke weakly as I heard the door creak slightly. I heard a sigh escape his lips ashe walked over to me removing the photo from my hands.

 “Still thinking about y/n?” He spoke quietly as I nodded slightly. He frowned slightly looking at the picture shaking his head slightly. Y/n and Phil were so close when we were dating. Besides me she would tell Phil everything but since the letter neither of us had seen her. 2 years she had walked out of our lives and yet both of us remember it like it was just yesterday. Phil shook his head setting the frame down as he gave me a small smile. “Wanna go to the store with me? Get your head off things?” Nothing could make me stop thinking about her. 

 “Sure Phil.” I smiled slightly as I sat up from the bed.



Your POV


 I strolled down aisle 3 searching for eggs. pushing my cart slowly.  My eyes scanned as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I grabbed it quickly answering the phone call, not glancing at the caller ID already knowing who was calling. 

 “Hi honey.” I spoke still looking for the eggs.

 “WHERE ARE YOU?” His phone boomed through the phone causing me to wince slightly

 “A-at the store. We ran out of eggs and the recipe calls for 2…”

 “You knew all my colleagues were coming over at 7 and I told you to have dinner ready by then!” Ryan’s voice was demanding and loud as I reached down finally finding a carton of eggs.

 “All of it’s done except for the cake you specifically asked for!” I spoke harshly into the phone setting the cartons in the cart.

 “Don’t you dare use that tone with me young lady.” He hushed into the phone causing me to roll my eyes.

 “Okay Dad I’m gonna go now see you at home.” I hung up before he could say anything else. Ryan was my fiance, a well paid, intelligent doctor who thinks he is better than anyone who is younger or earns less money than him. Me being 2 years younger and a mediocre photographer makes him feel twice as powerful towards me. We had been dating for a year and a half and to say we weren’t in love with each other is an understatement. The only reason we were getting married was because his parents loved me and told him to “claim me”. Being the suck up he is of course he proposed. And me being the most awkward person just happened to say yes. I was so busy trying to place my phone back in my pocket I didn’t realize I was walking I ran face first into someone’s chest.

 “Sorry about that love.” A thick british accent spoke causing my breath to hitch. I’d know that voice anywhere. 

 I lifted my head up slightly to look at the stranger’s face as I met a pair of two familiar brown eyes.

 “D-Dan?”



Dan’s POV



 “D-Dan?” Her voice squeaked out causing me to freeze. It was her. Here. RIght in front of me.

 “Y-n?” She gave me a polite smile as she looked down at her feet, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, biting her lip, like she always did when she was nervous. I just wanted to pull her lip from her teeth and kiss her. But I’ll I could do was shuffle awkwardly and place my hands in my pockets.

 “H-how you been?” She asked quietly as her beautiful y/e/c eyes met mine once again.

 “I’ve been better…” I gulped as I saw a streak of guilt fill her eyes. “How about you? How are your photos doing?” She smiled slightly as she nodded slightly.

 “I finally got a job. Somebody saw one of the pictures and fell in love with it so they asked me to join their company.” I grinned at her happily. She had always been struggling trying to get her dream job but I had always told her she could do it. That was until all we did was fight…

 “See! I told you you could do it!” I spoke happily causing her to giggle. Oh how I had missed that sound. “What picture was it?” I saw her face freeze before she whispered 

 “The one of you and I…” I opened my mouth to speak when I heard another voice chime in.

 “Dan I found the… y/n?!” I heard y/n squeal as I saw her jump into Phil’s arms

 “Philly!” 

 I felt a pain in my heart as I watched them hug before she pulled away. Phil looked at her gleaming as he suddenly noticed something that I hadn’t.

 “Are you engaged…?” My eyes immediately darted to her left ring finger where a sparkling diamond ring sat. No. I thought to myself. She can’t be. That should be MY engagment for her. I felt my heart physically break as nausea took over my stomach as I saw her nod slowly. She looked down at her finger before looking up to meet Phil’s gaze again. I felt my eyes become glossy as I looked down at my shoes rapidly blinking trying to keep from crying. Phil seemed to notice my pain as he quickly spoke up. 

 “Congratulations! Well Dan and I should be headed out. We have a bunch of editing to do tonight and we have to watch some new anime episodes as such.” I looked up to see y/n gazing at me sadly as she nodded understandingly. She pulled Phil into another tight hug before turning to me and opening her arms slightly. I wrapped my arms around her petite figure as she hugged me tightly. Her vanilla perfume filled my nostrils as she squeezed me tightly. She pulled away slightly before waving a small wave smiling a little. 

 “Bye guys.” Her sweet voice filled my ears one last time before I saw her turn and continue walking the opposite way. I felt a small tear fall from my eye as Phil placed a hand on my shoulder squeezing in reassurance. 

 “I’m sorry Dan….” He spoke softly causing me to shake my head and wipe my tears.

 “Don’t be…” I spoke, “I’m the one who left her go…”



Your POV


 The radio quietly played in the background as I drove to Ryan and I’s apartment. My mind screaming Dan’s name over and over again. I had never gotten over him and the disappointment in his eyes when finding out I was engaged broke my heart. As I pulled into the parking lot of the apartments I felt my mind become cloudy when I tried to think about why I was with Ryan and not Dan. Dan and I had so much in common while Ryan and I were polar opposites. Ryan didn’t have the sense of humor like Dan did. Ryan didn’t care for me like Dan did. And even though all Dan and I did was fight and bicker, at the end of the day, I didn’t love Ryan the way I loved Dan. I carried the bags of ingredients up to the apartment where I opened the door to reveal multiple doctors and nurses filling up the living room. Sophisticated conversations were being spoken as laughter filled the room. I dropped the bags on the table causing a few to glance over at me and Ryan to notice my arrival.

 “Took you long another! Everyone I would like to introduce you to my friend y/n!” I stared at him blankly

 “Fiance.” I spoke angrily only causing Ryan to roll his eyes and nod softly before grunting out 

 “Yes… my future wife.” I scoffed before turning back to unload the bags when something caught my eye. The walls were empty. Nothing was hung or displayed on any wall of the house,

 “Ryan!” I spoke loudly over the voices making everyone go silent and turn their attention towards me once again.  

 “What?!” He spoke harshly, obviously annoyed by me interrupting his company for a second time.

 “Where did my pictures go?”

 “What pictures?”  

 “Oh I don’t know THE ONES THAT I TAKE FOR MY FUCKING JOB THAT WERE HANGING ON THE WALLS EARLIER!”

 A snotty brunette then piped up.

 “Job? Ryan I thought you said she was a lawyer not a picture taker.”

 “Photographer.” I gritted my teeth trying to calm my anger before turning my attention back to Ryan. “First you don’t want to announce me as your fiance and now you’re embarrassed by my job?!” I shrieked angrily as Ryan just chuckled. 

 “Y/n, I have a very important job and so do all these people. I didn’t feel telling them about your hobbies.” I felt my blood boil as he spoke.

 “Well you know what. I’m sorry I didn’t graduate from a fancy college with a perfect GPA. I’m sorry I don’t make as much money as all of your “perfect” friends but I’m not fucking sorry for who I am or what I enjoy doing. I like my “unimportant” job thank you and I know lots of people who support me.”

 “Oh yeah like who?” 

 “Like Dan…” 

 “Seriously y/n?! You’re bringing up that loser again! He doesn’t do anything either. Worthless piece of….”

 “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Ryan…” I spoke in a low, demanding voice. “Plus I know one thing Dan has that you will never EVER get.”

 “Oh yeah what’s that?”

 I looked down at my ring before sliding it off my finger and slamming it on the table “My heart.”

 “Y/n you’re gonna regret this…” I shook my head staring at him dead in the eye

 “Actually this is the best decision I’ve ever made. Have fun at your fucking party Ryan.” I pushed through the crowd grabbing my keys and open the door as I hear Ryan call from behind me.

 “You walked out that door y/n you can never come back. Do you hear me?! You can just send someone to get all your shit.” I stopped dead in my tracks before calling back.

 “Gigi will be here tomorrow to pick it up.” As I walked out slamming the door. I quickly rushed down the stairs as I reached my car hopping in and rushing down the street driving to the first place that popped into my head…



Dan’s POV


 “Phil make some popcorn!” I shouted from the living room as I searched through the TV for the episode we were gonna watch when I was interrupted by a knock at the door. Who would be delivering something at this hour I thought as I slowly stood up and walked down the stairs. I reached the door unlocking it slowly to be met with a petite girl. Tears filled her y/e/c eyes as her y/h/c hair was tangled slightly. I opened my mouth slightly as I stared at her standing at my door. I never thought I would something as beautiful as this moment. Even with her ratty hair and her makeup slightly smudged under her eyes she still managed to be the most breathtaking thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I felt a smirk creep on my lips before I let out one of my remarks trying to lighten the mood.

 “Long time no see.” She giggled under her breath before I heard her mumble.

 “God I’ve missed you.” Before I could respond I felt her grab my shirt and tug me toward her. I felt her moist lips connected with my slightly chapped lips as the taste of her cherry chapstick invade my mouth. My hands found her waist as I tugged her inside with my closing the door by pushing her back against it. I tugged on her bottom lip as I pulled away smiling. She giggled resting her forehead on mine as I whispered.

 “I thought you were engaged?”

 “I was.” I grinned before reconnecting our lips

 I missed her every second of everyday. That was until she was mine again. I ended up marrying that girl. To ensure, that I wouldn’t have to miss her anymore.

babygurltaetay  asked:

Hi can I request an jay park ambw smut where you guys are at the club and you've been needy and misbehaving and he punishes you

No Touching:

“Are you going to apologize for what you did?” Jay asked as his stripped off his clothes slowly, his toned body becoming revealed to you.

Letting out a shaky breath, your eyes that were tapped open starting to water as you looked at him hating the fact that you couldn’t breathe but you decided to play his game. Your arms tied behind your back, lets spread wide with a vibrator pushing down against the top of your panties but only frustrating you and not giving you pleasure. “I did nothing wrong.” You bit your bottom lip as he took off his boxers and drug a chair in front of you sitting down on it.

“Oh really? Nothing that you did in the club that you are sorry for?” Jay asked you as he gripped at vanilla scented lube, popping open the top as he started to pour it on his hardened shaft.

You knew that you were in for shit the moment you had let Reddy grip at your hips and pull you closer to him. You had asked Jay to take you home more than once, the alcohol mixed with how fine he looked made you want to just jump on him. But he had shooed you away mostly because he was trying to plan something for your upcoming anniversary but to you, it seemed like something else was going on. In your moment of rage and wanting attention you decided to misbehave. It’s not the first time you’ve done this going around the club or any setting talking to different men so that they would pay you attention. But it was the first time that you had let a man push against you, his hips against your ass or your hips. How his chest pressed against your plump breast. Jay saw it all and he was beyond tired of your attitude and princess complexity. He had let you get away with it that night and if matters weren’t worse he received pictures from Simon of how you were all over a few backup dancers while you all practiced the next day. Anger filled his system and it was clear that you didn’t know your place. He waited until you were home, and he jumped on you almost literally grabbing at you and dragging you to your shared room. He proceeded to handcuff your hands behind your back using tape to tape your eyes open. He had grabbed at one of his favorite vibratos placing it in your shorts against your panties but not aiding you with more pleasure than that. He was already hard thinking about countless of times he fucked you and how he fucked you.

“I didn’t..” You lied once again truing to roll your hips and close your legs against the toy to give yourself more pleasure.

“I’m tired of you lying you keep doing this to get yourself out of trouble and it’s not working. I saw you all over Reddy last night and I have the pictures I heard about what you did today. You are so needy at times it amazes me that I’m enough to keep you here. I thought about all the ways I could punish you but I know you would just want to be touched by me. You kept complaining about it last night even when we got here, throwing your shit everywhere and sleeping with your ass right against my dick.” He chuckled gripping his shaft stroking his heated flesh with his slicked hand now biting on his bottom lip as he watched you. “So now you get to watch me touch myself and get myself off while you do nothing about it.” As he spoke you shut your legs tighter biting on your bottom lip nervously.

You watched his skilled hand move up and down his long thick girth, his veins pressing out against his skin, his body starting to heat up as he kept the slow leisurely pace. His thumb caressed the tip of his member, using his free hand to pour more oil on his shaft making it sound slick and wet, lewd and very loud. He knew you loved the sloppy wet sounds when you both fucked each other, his eyes holding yours as he spread his legs out wider.

“I bet you want to taste it, don’t you? I know how much you love choking on daddy’s dick.  I know how much you like burying it down your neck, how it stretches out your mouth. How you like pressing your tongue against my sensitive spots.” As Jay rasped out at you, your legs shut tightly the wetness increasing causing you to soak out your panties and whimper slightly. At first you thought you could handle this but you saw that this wouldn’t be easy.

“Oooh that’s right shut those legs baby girl. I like seeing you play it off like you’re not affected by what daddy is doing to you. If only you could’ve behaved then I could be touching you or fucking you like this.” Jay licked across his plump lower lip. He sped up his hand movement flexing his muscles a bit as he eyed your body groaning. “Do you want to see how I want to fuck that tight little pussy?” He asked smirking. “My hand is your small hole. And my dick is going to destroy it as soon as I forgive you for what you’ve done.” Jay groaned as he thrusted his hips up against his closed fist snapping away at his hand pretending it was your wet pussy though it was nowhere close. Small groans left his lips as he continued to fuck stroke himself, his lower stomach clenching as precum started to drip from his member, he was loving how much torment you were going through, your large brown eyes staring down at his member, he could see it in your eyes in how your body moved and twitched your hips bucked unconsciously because you wanted to ride him.

“I’ll ask again. What did you do?” Jay asked in a low tone slowly down his hand movements. You shook your head defiance in your system and frustration. He nodded smirking, his dick twitching as he got closer to his orgasm. “Alright then.” Jay stood up, walking towards you letting his dick bounce with each step. He got into your face, gripping at your hair he moved your head down until you were sticking your tongue out thinking he was giving in. “See, that’s what spoiled girls get. Surprises and no rewards.” He smirked keeping your head in place a few inches from his dick. Stroking himself off he kept going until he was shooting out thick ropes of cum, landing it on your chin and between your parted legs. His dick was so close you could see the organ twitching, you could feel the heat from his body. You were so horny, you had wanted Jay so bad and he denied you, tricked you into thinking you had got away with it. Once he had released himself he let your head go moving to grab a towel from the bathroom he cleaned up everything and he grabbed the keys to the handcuffs placing them in your hands looking in your eyes.

“You think you know what’s best then you can uncuff yourself. And I hope you have fun with your toy because it will be a while before you’re hopping on my dick. I was trying to plan our anniversary trip, but now I see you’re not even deserving of that. I’d watch what I did next time, or I will pack a bag and spend my time in some other woman’s arms since that’s what we do right?” He shook his head kissing your nose as he walked off from the room making you feel bad for lying and misbehaving so much so that you planned on a way to get him back for the better, not even pleasuring yourself that night.

.80

For: @durinsgirl
Characters: Barba/Reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1,281


You had been trying to get Rafael to abandon his desk for days. He’d gotten home after you were already curled up in bed the night before, gently awoken by his arms wrapping around you in the dead of night and warm lips pressed to your neck as he murmured a gentle I love you in his native tongue.

Yet, you’d woken up to a cold pillow and empty half of the bed that morning, his presence slipping away from your grasp before the sun had even thought about rising and gracing you all with its warmth and presence 

So you’d texted him, insisting on a quick breakfast at the café across the street from One Hogan Place. You’d thought the temptation of blueberry pancakes and his favorite coffee with an extra shot of espresso might lure him from the perch in his desk. When he’d responded with one word – meeting – you had reluctantly let the topic go, making sure to hand deliver a banana, almonds, and Americano to his office, trusting Carmen to pass on the snacks.

Her sad smile told you that she understood why you were so worried. 

Keep reading

Exams and movie premieres don’t cooperate

Summary: Tom really wants you to attend an important for him event but you have an exam the next day and can’t, and he ends up mad (something along these lines)

A/U: I wrote it like a month ago or so and wasn’t sure if i should post it or not but now im like yeah, let’s do it anyway! :) hope you guys enjoyed it! as always - please let me know what you think! 

masterlist | request


“Don’t be like that, you know it’s impossible for me to fly out to LA and attend this premiere with you and then fly back and not miss my final exam! It’s just humanly impossible!” You sighed into the phone while laying on your back on the bed, your legs propped up on the wall next to it. 

Tom has asked you a few ago to be his date for the premiere of his new movie and you truly wanted to go but it took place in LA and you had your final exam the next day and even if you tried you would miss it. The event was in 2 days, meaning you’d have to leave tonight or tomorrow morning if you wanted to go. Sadly, Tom didn’t seem to understand your point of view and started getting mad like it was your fault.

“We can figure something out! You could leave right after the premiere ends and go catch a plane! I’m sure it will be fine.” He sounded angry and kind of disappointed, feeling like he wasn’t important enough for you. 

“Tom, are you listening to what I’m saying? You’re acting like you don’t know the difference in time zones, and have you considered the plane being delayed? I can’t risk it, Tom. If I miss that exam, I don’t know if and when I would be able to take it again, you know that. Why can’t you understand my point of view? It’s not my fault…” Your eyes were filling with tears, the feeling of guilt washing over you. He was blaming you for something that you didn’t have control over and you started thinking it was actually your fault. If the exam wasn’t so damn important, you wouldn’t have hesitated at all and you’d be already there with him.

“But this is important for me, okay? I want you to be here with me, I want you to support me!” His loud voice made you close your eyes for a few seconds and take a big breath.

“I can’t be there, Tom. I’m sorry. This is also important for me, you know?”

“Whatever, have fun studying for your stupid exam.” And with that he ended up the call, not giving you a chance to say anything back. He was usually very understanding and has never acted like this before which made you think that maybe the distance and his growing career started to change him and his feeling for you. 

You were younger than Tom, still going to school and that never seemed to be the problem. The two of you always made it work, visiting each other whenever you could. Maybe he had a bad day this time? Whatever it was, it sure as hell made you feel like a big disappointment. 

You spent the entire night overthinking that conversation with him than studying, which in the morning made you even more stress, leaving you with only one day to revise anything. 

The time difference between you two was about 6 or 7 hours and while you were already awake it meant that Tom was still sleeping. You got ready, ate breakfast, went for a quick walk to breathe in some fresh air then came home and took your books out, going over the most important things for the exam. During your dinner break you sent him a text, wondering if he was still mad at you but he didn’t respond. You went back to studying, feeling a little more distracted, checking your phone every few minutes. 

In the evening you tried calling Tom, wanting to hear his voice and hoping to hear some words of reassurance, wishing you good luck on the finals the next morning. Of course, he didn’t pick up the call so you gave up and went to take a shower and went to bed, not really wanting to stay late the night before the exam. Before you actually tried falling asleep, you sent him another text that said “Have fun at the premiere. Hope everything goes well! x” 

All the way in LA, Tom wasn’t actually very happy with himself. After your conversation he was questioning himself, wondering whether he was right or not but he got called by his team and he focused on his work. 

During the night, even though he was very tired, he couldn’t fall asleep. He was thinking about you and wondered why you wouldn’t want to come visit him. Maybe you weren’t in love with him anymore? Maybe you had found someone else? Someone better? Instead of thinking rationally, he started making up stories in his mind, telling himself that maybe you wanted to spend more time with that Marcus guy that you used to have small study sessions with. Before he fell asleep, his mind and his heart was filled with anger and jealousy. 

The next day he woke up being late to one of the meetings, he quickly put some comfy clothes on and rushed out of the hotel and into the place where the meeting was held. The meeting wasn’t supposed to be long, maybe an hour or so, but after two hours Tom didn;t feel like it was going to end soon. He put his hand inside the pocket of his sweats ready to grab his phone when he realised it wasn’t there. He checked the other pocket and also found nothing. He groaned and his head fell back, great, he thought. Then he remembered leaving the phone on his bed while he was looking for the hotel card before running out of the room. 

Luckily, the meeting was over soon enough and then he was rushed by his team to get ready for the premiere. The team fixed his hair quickly, only using some hair gel like he politely asked them to, and then he put on the suit with small fixes from some of the people. While they were getting him ready he was wondering how you were doing, if you tried to call him or anything. But after all he was still pissed and he couldn’t see past his own feelings, not realising he was in the wrong.

While you were sleeping, the premiere was going well, a lot of people came and everyone was having a great time. Everyone, except for Tom. He seemed kind of out of place, not really paying attention to what was happening. They were done with the interviews and he, Chris, Sebastian and Scarlett with their dates were standing in a group, talking about something that happened the other day on set. 

“Hey, where’s Y/N, though?” Chris asked, making everyone look at Tom. The cast knew you and were good friends with you, altough you had a big age gap with them. They all treated you and Tom like their younger siblings and were always happy to help you with anything. 

“Uhh, she couldn’t come…” He said before biting his lip and looking at the ground, feeling like he wasn’t ready for that question to be asked.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, are you guys alright?” Scarlett added and Tom looked at them with a forced smile.

“Yeah, we’re… good. She just had better things to do.” He looked around the group and excused himself, “I gotta go to the bathroom.” 

He went inside and locked the door, then went to splash some woter on his face. He had a weird feeling in his stomach and he wasn’t quite sure why. Before he could do anything else someone knocked on the door and Tom unlocked the door and left the bathroom to go into the movie theatre. 

The film was great, he really enjoyed it and was super proud of it but he just wanted to go back to the hotel room. He was really scolding himself for leaving his goddamn phone back in the hotel. 

When the whole event had finally ended and the cast was getting ready for an after party Tom made up an excuse and went back to his hotel room. He took of his blazer and kicked of his shoes while sitting on the edge of his bed and grabbed his phone. He saw two missed texts from you an one call. He read them both and the second one made left him thinking. 

“Shit, Tom.” He scolded himself and pressed your name on the screen to call you,  his other hand run over his face as he layed down on his back on the bed, his feet still on the floor. 

He was being selfish again, not caring about the early hour in the morning where you were, desperate to talk to you. 

You picked up after the second signal, “Tom? Is everything okay?”

“Yes-I mean, no,” he started, not really knowing how to say the words he meant, “I’m sorry, Y/N. For being such an asshole, for not caring about what you want and what you can’t change, I’m sorry. I know you’ll ace this exam because you’re so smart, like so smart. I believe in you and I hope you won’t sress too much, okay? I love you and I’m sorry for how I was acting and for waking you up so early.” He mumbled the last part, his heart aching to hear you say that he was forgiven. 

“It’s okay, Tommy. I understand. I’m glad you can see what you did wasn’t okay and hope you realise that you made me feel really guilty and not good about myself. So, how was the premiere?” She sounded so sleepy and he was feeling so bad for waking her up but he need to tell her that he was sorry and that he believed in her.

“Okay. Just could’ve been better with you here. I miss you,” he sighed loudly, “I’m gonna let you go back to sleep. I’m sorry again, I promise I will make it up to you. Love you and good luck!”

“You should get some sleep too, Tommy. Night, love you too.” 

The next day after your exam you came home from school to see a big package standing in the middle of your room and inside was a big teddy bear and lots of other small things that Tom has picked out for you as his another apology. 

Star Prince Lord | Part One

Request: First of your writing and fanfics are amazing (also I love the shit you write about). But I was wondering if you could possibly write a star-lord fanfic? I know you write more Marvel related things to the X-men and it’s okay if you don’t want to because it’s not your thing. However, I was thinking maybe he finally meets his match in a sense of another half terra human or something not quite fighting bc that’s really similar to Gamora, your decision. Sorry for the ramble and bland request x

Summary: Meeting Peter Quill wasn’t meant to be long term, not even more than a one night stand. However, when the two of you are flung into a situation that forces you to work together, the truth comes out with the realization that maybe there’s something more than just frustrated kisses and bad Earth-references. 

Words: 5.2 K +

Warning: None

A/N: Sorry this took me so long. I love GOTG-Thank you so much for the request! I’ll be breaking it up into parts if you don’t mind. Also, I apologize about the poor quality, I’ve never written for Peter/Star Lord before ^-^

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Royals Like Us

Nessian royal AU that is inspired/continuation of this picspam of mine. For @klarolinestan who asked for this, I hope you enjoy! 

Lots of hugs to @accidental-rambler for looking it over.

Part 2.


“Majesty.” The chief minister bowed as he stood in front of the figure sitting elegantly, legs crossed in a graceful manner.

“Chief minister.” Her voice addressed coolly and Cassian took the opportunity to sneak glances at the young queen, noted the hard angles of her face, the regal stance she did not break out of and how her expressions betrayed no emotions.

“Cassian of the Illyrians, your majesty.” The elderly man pointed toward him. The queen, Nesta, he reminded himself, flicked her eyes in his direction before she returned her attentions back to where they had been. She didn’t linger nor did her stoic mask reveal either surprise or curiosity. However, the chief minister seemed to understand the silent question she did not utter.

“He is to be assigned as your personal bodyguard.”

The words finally triggered a reaction out of the queen, specks of anger showed on her face. Ice slipped her tone as she spoke, “I don’t need bodyguards of any sorts.”

The man smiled in humor. “I am afraid that you do, your majesty. An entire nation depends on your well being and safety, especially with threats surrounding us. If anything were to happen to you, our country would be broken into pieces.”

Her gaze redirected itself towards him again, assessing him with extreme caution and this time he could read some line of her thought as she clearly resigned herself to the fact of his assignment.

Cassian bowed in respect. “Your majesty.”

He tilted his head upwards a bit, becoming startled when their eyes connected for a moment.

She didn’t say anything, merely turned her head away.

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My Guardian (Part 2)

My Guardian (Part 2)

Castiel x Reader

Warnings: swearing, nudity, mention of blood, light fluffiness? Kind of?

Note to y’all: I’m still learning how to Tumblr. Haha. So, thanks for dealing with all of this. 

My Guardian Master List

You woke up in your dark bedroom, the only light shining from the clock on the bedside table. You cranked your sore neck to the side and checked the time. 8:34am. You peered at the small blanket draped over your legs. It felt different from the blanket you usually kept in your room.

You breathed deeply and took inventory. The pain in your stomach was the most noticeable, making it difficult for you to sit up in bed. You leaned over to flick on your bedside lamp, noticing a small wrap around your right elbow. Odd. You didn’t remember cutting your elbow. You glanced traced up your arm to the familiar red Stanford t-shirt you were sporting. Sam. You smiled at your best friend’s shirt that luckily fit more like a dress on you, seeing as you weren’t wearing any pants.

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Why are you so adamant on making me so angry that I want to smash my fists into the walls you keep building around me.

Why are you so persistent on making me feel completely and utterly disgusting that I want to gauge my own eyeballs out.

Why are you so insistent on making me feel so incredibly insecure that I want to crack my own skull open and let my mind spill out.

Why do you want to ruin me?

—  I used to be peaceful but you’re ruining that for me
letters to mom pt. 2

patiience
I'm Sorry (Draco Malfoy Imagine)

Im#8

Requested- Can you do a Draco Malfoy imagine when he’s always been really horrible to you and after the years one day he sees you crying because he’s constantly mean to you and he admits his feelings for you but you’re too angry to forgive him so he fights for you and eventually you forgive him and then become a couple? Love your imagines!

gif not mine

Originally posted by imaginesandmoreforfandom

Draco Malfoy was always as rude as anyone could possibly be. He was especially mean to you, though you never knew why. You hated being looked down, so you never showed any weakness towards his remarks. But it seemed like he would never stop taunting you.

“Wearing new robes, huh? Don’t bother, you couldn’t look any worse than you already are.” Draco walked passed you and bumped you right into your shoulder, causing your books to fall on the ground. You said nothing and rolled your eyes as you tried to pick them up. 

“Well then keep your eyes off me, arsehole.” You stepped away and found your way back into your dorm. You looked into the mirror, glancing at your reflection. Your robes looked perfectly fine, so did you. Sighing, you sat down on your bed and threw your books on the floor. Why does he have to be like this? You thought. 

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No offense but if my “"best friend”“ called me a slur and scorned our friendship in front of half the school and then joined a terrorist group intent on wiping out people like me then I would say things much worse than “they lost their soul”

So, no, I won’t stop.

Have a nice day

me: klaroline disturbs me because the guy mentally, physically and emotionally abused the girl and pursued her knowing she had a boyfriend and wasnt interested

@weilaer: Ok I guess not everyone is a fan of second chances nope:) 

me: please dont interact with my posts

@weilaer: still I will continue to enjoy your posts cause they are interesting.

me: *is angry at abusive relationships and misogyny because i live in one of the most oppressive societies ever where all that shit happens to women for real every day around me/to me* 

@weilaer: Filled with anger no doubt but interesting.

Some days are Attila days. Filled with anger rage and poison. The days where I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. Where I’m not broken or damaged just so pissed off at everything going to hell. Where I’m so angry and so powerful I feel invincible. Some days are just those days.
Some days are Second Hand Serenade days. Days filled with love unspoken words, passion and heart break. The days where I just lay in bed, unable to even form words. Where I’m broken and damaged and trying to glue all the broken pieces back together to feel whole once again. When I’m so sad even the ghosts that keep me company seem to have fled. Where I am so damaged nothing could hurt me more or fix me. Some days are just those days.
—  Attila and Second Hand Serenade Days

Was it all just a lie? Did he ever really care? I’m too afraid the truth will hurt even more than his actions. He left what seems like years ago. He was fine, but he left me broken in half. How could anyone do that to another human being? To someone they knew loved them and cared about them more than anything in the world.

How could you leave me alone like this without an explanation? I’m waiting for you to come back, to tell me you love me, to tell me everything will be alright.

I write letters to him that I’ll never send, and for an instant it makes me feel better, but the pain returns as soon as I crumple them up and throw them away.

I read through the words he wrote me the day he left as anger fills my bloodstream. What type of an excuse is “This isn’t what it looks like.” Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it doesn’t. And it never will.

Maybe I’m just holding onto something that I should have let go of a long time ago, but how do you let go of something, of someone, who was such an important fixture in your life?

All I want is to hear an apology escape your lips along with three words. Eight little letters. Three tiny syllables. Maybe a simple “I love you” could make everything alright.

But maybe that wouldn’t fix anything, because even though I want to have you back and forgive you more than you’ll ever know….

Bandaids just can’t fix bullet holes.

—  e.a. / excerpt from the book I’ll never write
Newt x Reader ~ Not strong enough

Newt x Reader ~ Not strong enough

I’m not strong enough to stay away
Can’t run from you
I just run back to you
Like a moth I’m drawn in to your flame

Newt presses his lips into a thin line, while he watches every of your movement. The way how you patch up the Glader is just incredible. Your kindness is like a ray of sunshine in this nightmare. He feels how his will starts to tremble like a wall hit by a wrecking ball.
It’s like something drags him towards you even if he knows it’s wrong to be in your near, but he can’t fight against the desire to talk to you. “Hey, (Y/N)”, Newt greets you with his best smile. You raise your head slowly knowing already who’s standing in front of you. “Do you need something?”
It hurts you to show him the cold shoulder, but you know that one of the Builders is watching you right now. Matching to your thoughts, the Glader makes his way towards you and Newt. His face show the suppressed anger as he stops right next to you.
“Is everything alright, hot stuff?”, he joins the conversation without your permission, while he gives you a claps on your backside. Newt clenches his hands into fists. He would love to punch your boyfriend right here, right now, but he also knows the consequence to harm another Glader. Without a word Newt turns around and leaves the two of you alone.

Say my name, but it’s not the same
You look in my eyes, I’m stripped of my pride
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to its knees

“Newt”, your lovely voice sends shivers down his spine as you put your hand on his shoulder. The coldness is replaced by love. This is the true (Y/N) - the (Y/N) he loves from the bottom of his heart. A slight smile appears on Newt’s lips, “You are late.”
Not wasting a single moment the Glader wraps you up in his arms and buries his face in your (h/c) hair. Sighing you enjoy the hug, “It’s not that easy to sneak away from a bunch of boys to meet my lover in the Deadheads. I did my best to come here as fast as I can.” Suddenly his heart slumps a bit in his chest. The mention of your boyfriend reminds him that you are still not his.
“Maybe we should stop this. We love each other. This should be a relationship, where we can show everyone what we are feeling. The connection between us is more than a secret love affair”, his eyes are glued to the ground. He doesn’t want to see the sadness in your eyes. It would kill him inside.
“Newt. Please, look at me”, you push up his chin softly with your fingers, “You know I want the same, but my … boyfriend is dangerous. He’s the Keeper of the Builders. Apart from this, he would freak out. I’m just scared that you get hurt.” Like a few hours ago Newt’s will starts to tremble. The way you look at him shows him that you really love him.
Against his sake his mind gives up to think about the situation. Without a word he connects his lips with yours. Exactly what he wanted to do the whole day. His heart skips a beat, happy to have you back, but for how long?

I’m not strong enough to stay away
What can I do?
I would die without you
In your presence my heart knows no shame
I’m not to blame
‘Cause you bring my heart to its knees

The Glader can’t fight against his own body. Everything works against him. He carves for every little touch, every little kiss, every little second he can spend with you. Often enough Newt thought about to end this secret affair, but he isn’t strong enough. You are the only thing that keeps him alive.
“Stop thinking. You’re distracted”, you whisper against his lips. Of course you notice how the Glader struggles with the situation. Softly you massage his shoulders, which are hurting from the hard work as a Track-Hoe. A slight smile appears on his lips. “You are an angel. Do you know that?”, sighing he leans his head against the tree bark. His body relaxes under your gently, but strongly touch.
“I’m your angel, Newt”, you whisper in his ear, knowing what affects him most. Suddenly he pulls you closer to him so your noses are almost touching. The Glader doesn’t know how you do it, but you always manage to banish the shame out of his heart. The guilty conscience is washed away with a few words from you. It’s not his fault that you are attracted to him.
“I bloody love you, (Y/N), more than anything”, he couldn’t say often enough these words to you.

And it’s killin’ me when you’re away
I wanna leave and I wanna stay
I’m so confused
So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain
And I know it’s wrong, and I know it’s right
Even if I try to win the fight
My heart would overrule my mind
And I’m not strong enough to stay away

“Sometimes I hate him that he shows us what we can’t have”, a young boy next to Newt mumbles mad at your boyfriend. He showing you around like a reward or something he can own. It’s not a lovely way he wraps his arm around your shoulder. It’s to warn the other boys that you are his.
Newt clenches his hands into fists like every day already. The anger fills him up from his head to his toes. One of the boys could stab him in the chest, it couldn’t feel worse than to see you in the arm of another guy. A sigh escapes his mouth, “Yes, I know what you mean.”
The Glader couldn’t do this forever. He can feel how his heart tries to cope the pain. It’s already carving for your touches, for your love. But his mind tells him it’s wrong to see you again. How could be true love wrong, when it feels so right with you?
For a brief second you two look at each other. There is a silent connection and communication between you. That’s the moment where Newt knows he would see you again in the Deadheads. His mind isn’t stronger than his feelings. He needs you to live through this nightmare. There is no way he could stay away from you.

There’s nothing I can do
My heart is chained to you
And I can’t get free
Look what this love’s done to me

“No, you are not going away! I’m talking to you, girl!”, Newt hears a familiar voice yelling. His heart slumps a little bit as he comes closer to the Homestead. You didn’t come to your secret meeting, which worries the Glader that your boyfriend find out your little secret.
“Let go of me! You are hurting me!”, that’s definitely your voice. Without thinking Newt enters the room ready to beat up his worst enemy. The fear of death in your voice obfuscate his mind, while his anger wells up like a volcano. The strongest feeling in his chest is love. He wants to keep you safe no matter how high the price is. The Glader can’t control his own body anymore.
Your boyfriend couldn’t react as Newt punches his fist in his face merciless. The boy falls to the ground unconscious. Just slowly the Glader realizes what he has done right now, but there is no time to think about a good plan. Alby and a few other boys rush into the room.
“What happened?!”, the leader wants to know shocked. Newt’s usually busy mind stops working in the worst moment. “He freaked out and wanted to hit me. Newt saved my life”, you tell them the truth. For a brief moment Alby looks at you searching for a sign of guilt even if he believes you. The Keeper was always a violent and angry boy. “Bring him away. Good job, Newt”, the leader puts his hand on his shoulder friendly.
The other boys take care of your former boyfriend, who is still knocked out. Just the two of you are still in the room. Without a word you throw yourself in his arms. The Glader strokes your head softly still not realizing that this nightmare is over now. The Keeper will be banished so you two can be a couple finally.
“Thank you so much. I love you”, you mumble against the cloth of his shirt. It’s funny how love can show you what you would do for your loved one. Newt was never the violent type of boy, but he would kill everyone, who dares to touch or hurt you. The love to you has changed him, but in a good way. It makes him somehow stronger.
“I love you, too, my angel”, Newt places a kiss on your head.

I had a real shitty anger filled day yesterday and seriously wanted to hurt someone, which is not like me at all. So here’s what I did

a nice hot cleansing bath with sea salt and baking soda right in the water…then I took a bay leaf, agrimony, rue, rose petals and lavender and put them in a large tea ball strainer and just tossed that into the tub.

Agrimony breaks & sends back curses/hexes, Rue breaks hexes/curses, bay leaf for purification & protection, rose petals for healing, lavender for purification & healing. (and yes it felt like someone threw some nasties my way)

If you don’t have a tea ball strainer, use a coffee filter and tie it up. Or if you have an organza bag, use that. If you don’t have a bath tub, add everything to the bag or coffee filter and attach it to your shower head.  OH and don’t towel dry - air dry if you can. My great grandmother always said that if you wipe dry with a towel after herbal baths, it’s like you’re wiping what you just did all off and what would the point be then.

Sleep

Follow-up to Loss

Evie Trevelyan x Cullen Rutherford (Post-Trespasser Angst)


She looked so peaceful when she slept. It was the only time Cullen could be near her now. Whenever she was awake she wouldn’t look at him and barely spoke; only quiet pleas for him to leave her alone. It hurt him but he kept trying; he wouldn’t leave her, he couldn’t. She was his world.

So he crept into her room like a stalker in the night and watched her sleep. It started nearly a month ago; not long after they moved into their home and Evie made it clear she didn’t want to share a bed with him anymore. She never gave an explanation, just like everything she had done in the last month, only begged him to leave the bed on their first night in their new home and every night after that. Eventually, Cullen decided it was best to wait for her to go to him and began sleeping in the guest room. However, he couldn’t stay away completely.

Every night for that first week he would open the door to her room a crack and peer in on her for just a moment. Just checking if she’s okay, he told himself. A week after that he started lingering; leaning against the door frame, watching the even rise and fall of her chest, admiring the serene expression on her face, wishing he could crawl into bed with her, and hold her like he used to.

Then one night her face changed; brow furrowed, mouth opened in a silent scream, she reached for her left arm, and whimpered. He was at her side in an instant; pulling her into his arms as she cried out in her sleep. He held her to his chest, feeling her heart racing, and body shaking. He rocked her gently, murmuring in her ear that she wasn’t alone, she would never be alone, that he loved her, and he would always be there for her until she finally calmed and stopped grabbing at an arm she no longer possessed.

Once she settled again, he left. He didn’t know what else to do. If he stayed and she woke, his presence could upset her further. He didn’t want that. He just wanted her to be happy; that was all he has ever wanted.

After that night, he started sitting on the edge of the bed, watching her; studying her face for any signs of distress, fear, pain, anything that would have her crying out in her sleep again. He would protect her, be her silent guardian. He wouldn’t let her face her nightmares alone. She saved him from his, he would save her from her own.

He would stay until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer then he would return to his room to sleep alone. Every night his dreams were filled with her; flowers in her hair, laughing, and smiling. She would look up at him with love and life in her eyes. He dreamed of the day she returned to him, the day he could hold her in his arms and she would return his embrace. Then he would wake to a woman he didn’t recognize, filled with sorrow and anger. Every day he would ask himself the same questions; did she blame him for the loss of her arm? Is that why she couldn’t stand the sight me him?  Could he have saved her, kept her whole somehow?

Cullen’s eyelids started to droop, the fade calling to his weary mind and body. With one last longing gaze at his wife, Cullen rose from the bed and headed for the door. He paused before closing it behind him, thinking he heard Evie’s sweet voice dancing through the cool night air but he shook the thought from his mind; she was sleeping peacefully, it was just his tired mind playing tricks on him. He pulled the door shut gently and headed to his room to get a few hours sleep.


Evie stared at the closed door, her bottom lip trembling while her right hand brushed over the spot Cullen had just been; his warmth and scent lingering in the soft linen.

She had woken the moment he settled beside her, frightened at first until she realised it was her husband; then the guilt washed over her once more. She wanted nothing more than to roll over and bury herself in his embrace; to have him take away all her pain, all her fear, all her anger like he used to. Selfish, she reminded herself. He deserved so much more than what she was now; she was worthless. She could never be what he needed again. She just wanted him to go; to spare them both the pain of when he realises he could do so much better than a one-armed mage, that he deserves better than her.

However, when he started to leave the bed she began to panic. She didn’t want him to go; she wanted him to hold her like he used to. She didn’t care how selfish it was, she needed him. She couldn’t live without him. She had been pushing him away because she thought it was what was best for him but she didn’t want him to go anymore. She just hoped it wasn’t too late.

When she called for him, he paused for only a moment but still left. The tears she had been fighting fell freely now. She was too late. She’d lost him by her own doing.

“Please, don’t go.” She begged quietly, hoping somehow he would hear her and listen this time. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”


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[ Follow-up ]

anonymous asked:

Some headcanons on how Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida and Akutagawa would react if their lover would do something reckless/dangerous?

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke: Akutagawa lives for danger, so the most scolding he would do would be in regards to you not inviting him along to watch. If it was something particularly stupid, though, he would have no qualms about telling you how depressing it would be to have his lover die from something so embarrassing.

Dazai Osamu: Dazai gets uncharacteristically serious after an event where you’ve almost fatally injured yourself, and hates when you’re reckless even if he is, too. He would tell you to be more careful next time, and to at least keep your wits about you if you were going to rush into a situation without thinking it through.

Kunikida Doppo: Kunikida wouldn’t talk to you for about a day as he’s filled with so much relief and anger he doesn’t know what would happen if he spoke to you; not wanting to cause a fight, he gathers his thoughts before speaking to you, explaining why he had been so worried and why he ignored you, as it was all out of love and concern for you. 

Nakajima Atsushi: Atsushi would be upset with you and wouldn’t want to voice it, but it would be clear that he was upset as he wasn’t good with hiding his feelings. If it was brought up and you didn’t take his feelings into consideration, it would be enough to bring him to tears as he doesn’t feel like he’s doing what he should as a significant other.

Blurred lines

This imagine request came from crazydreamer22 Can you do an imagine where Jai and you are best friends and he gets jealous of a guy your hanging out with from work and he starts a massive fight in the middle of a busy place and then seconds later he kisses you after he stops yelling! If you have any requests send them in!! ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ ‘How about this one?’ Jai asked you holding up and emerald green dress that would stop just below your knees. You shook your head and kept looking. Jai and yourself had known each other since you were small children, with your parents being best friends and growing up across the street from each other. Now that Jai is a famous actor you don’t get to hang around together as often as you would like, that’s why today you were spending the day together while he was back in town. You had a date the next evening with a guy from work and you desperately needed a new outfit to wear and Jai had agreed to go shopping with you but so far you just couldn’t seem to find anything no matter how many shops you search through. Picking up another dress to add to the ‘try it on pile’ hanging over your arm, you decided that was enough and made your way to the dressing room. ‘Come on Jai, I’ll try these on and you can decide which one I’ll wear!’ You grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him along behind you, you didn’t miss the big sigh he let out as you did so. ‘This has got to be the one!’ You thought as you tried on the last one in your pile; it was a midnight blue with a laced bodice and capped shoulders, it had a skater skirt that was great for your body shape. You pulled back the curtain and timidly stepped out to get Jai’s opinion. Clearly he was bored as he had resulted to playing on his phone, which he hated, after getting his attention you heard him gasp. ‘Y/N, its beautiful! That’s definitely the one! You are going to blow him away tonight.’ He told you honestly while twirling his finger around indicating for you to turn around, you happily obliged pleased to have finally found the dress for your date tonight. After getting back into your own clothes and paying for the dress, Jai suggested that you guys grab something to eat, noticing how hungry you really were you agreed. ‘I’m so excited for tonight! Felix is a great guy! He’s such a gentleman, you know, like he opens doors for me, takes my bag for me, buys me lunch.’ Jai grunted in response clearly uninterested. ‘I think that’s what I need, someone who will appreciate me, who will cherish me! Especially after Aaron.’ You shuddered at the sound of your ex’s name, but then a smile gently lit up your face as you thought about your date with Felix that night. He really was exactly what you needed. You looked up at Jai, about to ask him a question when you noticed that he had hardly touched his meal. ‘What’s the matter?’ You asked him, knowing that something must really be getting to him, if he wasn’t eating. ‘Nothing!’ He snapped not even looking at you. Anger began to fill you, all day Jai had hardly made conversation and nearly grunted in response to the majority of your questions ‘What is your problem?! I thought you of all people - my supposed best friend - would be happy for me!’ You questioned as the anger began to leak from you. Jai didn’t bother answering you instead he pushed his chair away from the table, and stormed off. You quickly jumped up, gathering your bags and ran after him, when you got close enough you used both hands to pull on his arm to get him to turn around. ‘What is wrong with you?! What have I done to deserve this?!’ You shouted, Jai turned to look away and noticed that the eyes of everyone in the restaurant were now on you but you didn’t care. Right now you wanted answers. ‘Not here!’ Jai whispered angrily at you although you had no idea what he was angry about. He grabbed your arm harshly, hurting you in his tight grip, and took you to a more secluded spot. Yanking your arm away from his grip, you rubbed the place his finger had been, knowing that in the morning they’d be a collection of purple bruises. ‘You want to know what my problem is Y/N? It’s Felix. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?!’ You cringed away from the bitter sound of his words laced with hate. Whether that was to you or Felix you couldn’t tell. ‘You still don’t get it do you?’ He asked a sarcastic smile etched into his lips, but his eyes told a different story. ‘I can’t pretend to be happy for you, I can’t just sit by and watch as you get your heart broken again and trail after you picking up the pieces and putting them back together only for you to still treat me as nothing more than a friend’. He looked away from you pain and sorrow evident in his entire being. 'I-I don’t understand Jai, w-w-what are you saying?’ Your voice shook, barely a whisper. But he still heard you. Both of his hands took hold if each side of your face, hands that you knew so well. 'Sometimes, for someone so smart, you can be really stupid.’ He chuckled a little, making your heart feel a little lighter. 'I love you, Y/N. I didn’t know it at first, for years you were only my best friend, but then I felt it. Each time you called me crying, I felt my heart break in two. Every time I made you laugh or you were happy, I felt content. When you looked at me, eyes wide and full of love I knew that somewhere down the road the line between best friend and lover got blurry; because I am totally in love with you. I’m not sorry and I won’t take it back and for the life of me I can’t stop loving you. So I won’t apologise for not being ecstatic that you are going on a date because its not me and until it is me I can’t be happy. I love you, Y/N.’ Before you could even fully comprehend all that he had admitted his lips came crashing down, and after all the heartbreak and the sorrow, you finally felt complete again, you felt loved and like you’d arrived home. Wrapping your arms around Jai you whispered into his chest 'Couldn’t you have confessed your love before I spent money on a new outfit.’ You felt his chest rumble with laughter 'Or you could wear it out to dinner with me?’ He murdered into your hair. 'Are you asking me on a date Mr. Courtney?’ You pulled your head back to look at his beautiful face. 'Would you say yes if I did?’ Instead of answering you took out your phone and dialled Felix’s number 'Hey Felix, it’s Y/N, I’m really sorry but can we cancel tonight. I mean your a great guy but I don’t think I’m the right woman for you. Sorry again.’ Jai laughed at you again before oi king you up and spinning you around, 'You will be the death of me woman!’ Sealing the deal with a toe curling kiss. ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Thanks again for this request sorry it took so long - I wasn’t happy with the first few attempts and I’m not entirely happy with this one although I’m reasonably happy with it. Remember to send any requests in! Asks is open!!