A confession, not a request. If you have time, please read it.
Request: hey, i just read your rules and i was thinking, in support of you and your recovery a BTS reaction(or anything you prefer) to Y/N being a past rape victim and starting a charity or something that helps victims of it to come forward (: if not its totally fine! obviously, under your circumstances. if you do thank you, i love you ❤❤
Rather than doing a reaction, I will tell you a story. I’m sorry darling, but I really take those matters seriously and I just couldn’t bring myself to write it. Every time I started, my eyes teared up and I just couldn’t. But for you I’ll tell a story that’s very close to my heart and that will make you guys understand why I protect the kpop fandom so eagerly.
I was 14 when I was raped. Also it was January 2014. Until August 2014 no one and I really mean no one could talk normally to me, without my hands to shake or my voice.If they were able to talk to me at all. My connection to the world was stopped, I didn’t go to school, I took my exams,of course and went in the next class. However, until August, I was almost uncommunicating. I was suicidial and depressed. So, I was almost always thinking about just ending it all.
My mother knew that since I was 5 *my cousin was a first genaration kpoper* kpop made me move to the rythym and love the world. She gave me her phone and shepressed the play button of the video. And a melody started. “Sometimes you’ve gotta be bold, just rock the world. BUUYA!” It was Red Velvet’s Happines. Unlike all the other attempts to make me feel something, this one just hit home. I watched the music video in awe, amazed by the fact how beautiful they were and how happy they looked. I wanted to be happy too, but how could I? I was dirty, a whore, a no one. And after the music video ended I looked up to my mother and asked her if she’ll give me her phone tomorrow to watch the live performance. She couldn’t believe that I first talked to her after such a long period of time and of course she gladly agreed. And so on, day after day I watched Red Velvet evolving as I myself started being a new person. They introduced Yeri in the group, I went to a new school. Ice cream cake and Automatic thought me that family is all I have and I shouldn’t lose it. Dumb Dumb made me want to dance again. One of these nights made me remember the pain, but also come to terms with it. Russian Roulette made me confident and feel good about myself again. And Rookie helped me find the people I belong with.
I am very greatful to them. Those girls made me who I am today. The five hearts of the Kpop community. The underrated queens wiht music I always hear people calling childish, but let me tell you. Thanks to them I am alive. I am alive thanks to the power they gave, the fact that they told me that everyday I should be happier than yesterday, because something good will happen.
So, don’t be afraid or ashamed to listen to kpop, because this “Chin Chong” as people call them, save and inspire people lives. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, to tell your story.
My biggest dream is to have five minutes in my whole life in which I’ll be able to meet the girls. To tell them how grateful I am, what they did for me, how they are for me. I want them to know that they saved my life and that they are precious. And that girl groups can also be a big influence in someone’s life.
Red Velvet 언니들이, 고마워. 너때무네 나 한국어 공부해요. 너무 너무 감사합니다. 사랑해요. <3
Irene, I write this for you. Happy birthday darling.