daylight-robbery

2

wizarding placesmadam malkin’s robes for all occasions. students get their hogwarts school uniforms here, and wizards and witches can also purchase dress robes, travelling cloaks, and also, on very rare occasions, invisibility cloaks. during the christmas holidays in ‘92, madam malkin’s was closed with a small notice on the door, which read: “we are closed due to daylight robbery - back at seven o'cloak.”

“Then how did I break into the Bank, to the Tower, to the Prison? Daylight robbery. All it takes is some willing participants.”

Bless you, Moriarty. 

Bless you for creating an adorable app to enact your break-ins, complete with lovingly-conceived and rendered animations, that apparently did nothing but send a text message (“it’s showtime!”) to your henchmen.  And no one would ever see it but you. 

This is the kind of attention to detail that I look for in my villains.

peaceontheplanet replied to your post “hey all! so i hit a frankly stupid follower benchmark this week, and…”

Can you tell me another story? I’m bored out of my mind working for insurance and could use an lol. Hope you’re having an otherwise good day with your stupid follower count :)

sure, peaceontheplanet. i mean i can’t promise it’s gonna be as funny as the internet apparently found the porn thing but like, HERE’S A STORY ABOUT THE TIME I GOT MUGGED AT KNIFEPOINT (BUT BY A GENTLEMAN).

so when i was studying in argentina, it was like a thursday, and they were having what’s called a “feria” which is kind a holiday?? in argentina sometimes they decide to CANCEL EVERYTHING, ostensibly to celebrate things like books and students but i suspect really so that nobody has to go to work.

  • argentina gets me.

ANYWAY, i decided that day to go the gym! this was new and different for me, a person who considers “intense chewing” to be exercise. 

BIKINI BOD: ON TRACK.

so i went to the gym. it went the way that trips to the gym usually do for 5'8" girls with severe pigeon toes and a total lack of all motivation.

  • badly.

as i’m walking home, past the college of dentistry, i was fussing with a lighter that i had in my pocket because i was also, at that time, dealing with my fear of intimacy by smoking. so this guy comes up to me and is like, “hey, can i borrow a light?”

here’s a list of things i should have said:

  • “sorry, no.”
  • “ahhhhhh you know what, i would, but i’m super busy right now??? i actually have a dentist’s appointment, as evidenced by this College of Dentistry that i’m standing outside??”
  • “NO HABLO ESPAÑOL.”
  • “don’t you know that smoking gives you cancer? let’s commit to quitting, right now, to each other. bring it in. go team. together we can.”

here’s what i did say:

  • “claro que sí, amigo.”

he’s trying to light his cigarette, and his hands are shaking a little? so he can’t. and i’m like, dude, calm down, it’s okay. what is this, your first cigarette or something? lol.

after a few seconds, he kind of goes, “fuck it,” and drops the lighter into his pocket. and i’m like, “excuse me??? that’s my lighter?? also you didn’t even manage to light your cigarette???”  but before i can vocalize these protests, he gets rEALLY close to me and pulls out a knife. then he goes, “you have three seconds.”

what i should have said:

  • “okay. you can have whatever you want.”
  • “here’s my wallet.”
  • “wow, what a very sharp-looking knife, in what way can i avoid being stabbed with it today??”

what i actually said:

  • “haha, uhhhhh, until what?”

UNTIL WHAT. “UNTIL WHAT, MR. SIR WITH THE KNIFE? LIKE, WHAT’S ON THE MENU HERE????”

BUT HE DIDN’T SAY DEATH!!! it turns out that the gentleman attempting to rob me was like, maybe a rookie? it’s possible that he had never robbed anybody at knife-point, before. this as an experience that we were going through together for the first time.

because what he said was: “….i have a knife.

i said, “yes. i can see that. it’s very nice.”

  • IN MY DEFENSE: IF YOU ARE GOING TO ROB SOMEONE, THE ONUS IS ON YOU TO GIVE CLEAR DIRECTIONS.
  • “i have a knife”??? come on, buddy. be better prepared. come with a to-do list. practice in a mirror.
  • “then i’m going to pull out the knife and say: give me _____.”
  • clear, concise, quick. that should be your motto, buddy. it is not MY JOB, as the ROBBEE, to read your goddamn mind. I AM NOT DRIVING THIS SHIP. IF YOU ALSO AREN’T DRIVING IT, WE ARE IN TITANIC-LEVEL TROUBLE.

at this point, clearly realizing that he had gotten in tOO DEEP with this dumbass tourist who didn’t even know how to get robbed properly, he blurted out, “uhhhhh, do you have a phone?”

i did have a phone! i had a broken claro go-phone that i had purchased upon entering the country which had 2 argentine pesos worth of text messages left in it and a inbox message from a boy name juan that said, “you like me a LOT.”

  • i had responded, “actually, i just like you the normal amount.”
  • i felt bad about that when i realized that he was trying to say, “i like YOU a lot,” but feelings verbs in spanish are mostly reflexive.
  • SORRY JUAN.

i handed the man with the knife my phone. he looked at it. looked back up at me. “r u srs?” his face seemed to say. “this is what you’re giving me right now? a janky ass claro go-phone that is CLEARLY MISSING THE NUMBER 7 KEY????”

look, the shoddy workmanship is a source of frustration to you and me BOTH, okay. we’re BOTH victims here.

but the beautiful thing about this story is that HE TOOK IT! he looked at me, looked down at his knife, sighed, and put the phone in his pocket. THEN HE REACHED BACK INTO HIS POCKET AND RETURNED MY LIGHTER TO ME.

we looked at each other.

  • here’s the thing that no one tells you about daylight robbery: there’s like. an afterbeat.
  • there is a moment in between “robbery-in-progress” and “going home to your homestay and explaining that you can’t answer phone calls anymore” where you and your robber have to look at one another and figure out HOW TO WALK AWAY.
  • listen, friends: in robberies, as everywhere, goodbyes are never easy.

“thank you,” he said.

“you’re welcome,” i answered.

he hesitated. “have a good day,” he said.

“………….okay,” i answered. “you too. enjoy the phone.”

  • ENJOY THE PHONE?????
  • IT WAS BROKEN. IT WAS CLEARLY BROKEN. WE BOTH KNEW THAT NOTHING BUT HEARTACHE WAS GOING TO COME FROM THAT PHONE.

i think about this a lot, and i wonder if he ever thinks about me. i wonder if he ever thinks, “that goddamn asshole knew i was going to have to press the 7 key four hundred times before it registered anything." 

  • i’m sorry, man with the knife. i panicked. in the heat of the moment, we all say things we don’t mean.

🍅🌶😍🤤So what’s the first meal I go for when I get back form my foray to Canada🍁? A cheap as hell can on Lidl Tuscan bean soup and. A slice of toasty soda bread of course haha! 😅
Hey (what can I say) after experiencing the daylight robbery that is wholefoods for the past week my little heart yearned for something warm and tasty that costs less than 50p 😜
Having said that I did smuggle 5 boxes of diaya deluxe mac n cheese 🧀 😬

Mofftiss, TFP, TRF, TJLC and sherlock fandom mashup.
  • Mofftiss: "Well, here we are at last. It's you and me Sherlock Fandom, and our problem, the final problem: keep plotting. It's so boring! Plotting. Overarching story lines. Making sense out of things. All my life I've just been filling one plothole with the other and you were amazing with your theories, fixing everything we did, picking up on our little 'clues'. In the end it was easy. Now I got to go back to writing ordinary shows, with ordinary fandoms, and it turns out you're ordinary. Just like all of them. Oh well.
  • Sherlock Fandom: "But... TJLC..."
  • Mofftiss: "Did you almost start to wonder if it was real? Did I nearly get you?"
  • Sherlock Fandom: "The tea, code?"
  • Mofftiss: "Nobody seems to get the joke, but you do."
  • Sherlock Fandom: "Off course. Tea is gay, coffee is hetro."
  • Mofftiss: "Just trying to have some fun." [Sherlock Fandom throws glass of water in Mofftiss' face] "Oh good! You got that too!"
  • Sherlock Fandom: "Of course we did, water represents emotion, just as food represents intimacy and the phone represents the heart. And let's not forget the 'random numbers' in the show, or the constant mirroring."
  • Mofftiss: "Very good."
  • Sherlock Fandom: "Yes, but now that it's up here I can use this key to decipher what is to come! I can predict series to come!"
  • Mofftiss: "No, no, no, no, no. This is too easy. It's too easy. There is no key, DOOFUS! Those metaphors are meaningless, there is no endgame. Did you really think there would be a point to all of this?"
  • Sherlock Fandom: "Than how did you...?"
  • Mofftiss: "How did I write such a compelling story? Daylight robbery! All it takes is some willing participants."
  • Arwel: [waves]
  • Sue: [waves]
  • Amanda: [waves enthusiastically]
  • Ben: [waves hesitantly, like he's unsure what to do]
  • Martin: [Stands there with folded arms and a grumpy look on his face]
  • Mofftiss: "I knew you would fall for it. That's your weakness. You always want everything to be clever. Now, shall we finish the game? One final act. Glad you choose Tumblr, nice way to do it."
  • Sherlock Fandom: "Do it? Do what?" [thinks] "Yes, of course, theorize. Finish your story for you."
  • [Runs off to come up with compelling theories about extra episodes, extended dream sequences, morphine induced dreams etc.]

anonymous asked:

Do you read fics? If so what are your favorite Sekai fanfics? :)

  • Posted on 15.04.05

i do~, but i didn’t read much sekai fanfics since i’m kind of person who can enjoy reading sekai fic that i love repeatedly. and i do read only top kai and bottom sehun.

here are my fav sekai fics :

SF :

- We’re Pretty And Sick; We’re Young And We’re Bored | R | ( Sehun transfers high school to a wealthy part of Seoul and meets the whirlwind that’s Kim Jongin.)

-Take Back The Night Sehun finally returns to Jongin and hot reunion sex ensues. |NC-17| (Sequel to We’re Pretty and Sick; We’re Young And We’re Bored even though it’s 8 months too late).

- DAYLIGHT ROBBERY. | NC-17 | (don’t call me baby)

- Lost kitten. | NC-17, fluff, smut | 
(Without a clue as to who he is besides his own name, Sehun wanders into Dr. Kim’s office.)

- Falling Out | G | (Baekyeol breaks up and Sehun steps in to help. Will he be able to save the relationship when the cause of breakup is his own man?)

- One Uncomplicated Life, To Go Please | PG | (Sehun serves behind the counter in a café & pastry shop while Jongin goes to college.)

- Talking Kai | G | (In which Kai is a talking Sim in Sehun’s most loved, more than how much he loves his bestfriend, and trusted iPad.)

- The One Who Makes You Happy | G | (Sehun shows Jongin a compilation of their memories together through photos.) ps. unfortunately the pictures that were used in this fic were removed by the owner ;’(

- Trying To Tell You No But My Body Keeps On Telling You Yes |NC-17| (Oh Sehun has a tiny little crush on Kim Jongin.)

- What If  | G | (Jongin wants to protect Sehun so he keeps their relationship a secret. But what if what he wants makes him sad?)

- Yellow Zinnia | G | (It’s that day.) ps. so beautiful, but it’s the only character death that i read, and i swear to myself that i will never read this kind of sekai fic again

- My Heart Is So Lost Because You Took It With You | R | (Sehun was away on the Eve of Christmas Day so Jongin decided to be all sappy and disgusting and gross and, you get it.)

- When You Say You Love Me, Know I Love You More | G | (Not only the year is saying good bye but so is he, or not?)

- A Man Provides | Wolfau |

- Stupid NGs | G | 

- Perfect To Me | Fluff | 

- Sehunnie’s BFF | Fluff |

- Feel This Moment |NC-17|

Series :

- Overlapping Worlds [ i ii iii iv v final story video ] | G | (They live in the same house, in the same space, at the same time. In the same world, but not really.)

- Safe (Lost Memory) [ i ii iii iv v hidden part vi vii viii final ] | G | (He always carries a gun. He probably carries a code. He has never wanted to protect a man all his life. Until he is lost. Who is he protecting? And who is he protecting him from?)

- Absentia [ i ii iii iv v vi vii final playlist ] |NC-17, Drama| (Sehun wishes to see the future. He unknowingly jumps in time and loses five years in the past. Slowly, he realizes, he didn’t only lose time. He lost a lot.) ps. i love this fic but i can only read for once.

- Chance [ 1, 2, 3, 4, Special 5] | Fluff, Mpreg |

- Can I just Alohomora your heart for me? | Fluff, HarryPotterAu | NOT COMPLETE YET

The below sekai fics are belong to one of my favorite sekai writer FishMeAnEXo

- Everlasting Summer | G, Romantic | (Everyone wants their summer to last.)

- Kitty Wants It | Fluff, CatboyAu Smut|

- Yes, Boss | Smut |

- Lapse of Etiquette 1 & 2 | Wolfau, Fluffyangst, Mpreg |

- Once Upon A Time | Fluffy, Romanticcomedy |

- I Wish I Could See You (A short sequel to Can I See You?) Ps. i love this one but you need to read  Can I See You? first.

- Ardour In Avalanche  | Wolfau, Mpreg |

- Purr Of A Catboy | Fluff,CatboyAu |

- Daddy and His Kitties | Fluff,CatboyAu, Mpreg | (A short sequel to Purr Of A Catboy)

- My Sweet Baby | Fluff, Mpreg | 

- That Wasn’t The Plan | Bondage, Smut

- It’s Just You | Fluff, Mpreg |  ( Sequel to If Not You.) i love the special sequel since i just love baby jae so much so i decide to put it on my fav sekai fics lol

- My Crazy Stalker  | Fluffy, Comedy |

is that too much ?? lol~ but i think those are all my most favorite sekai fics ^^ ♥

  • Update 15.04.13 :

- Bittersweet | G | jongin lives as a member of poor carnival troupe, until one day he’s takes in by a rich man to live with him and be the companion of his sick son.

  • Update 15.05.10 :

- Garden city movement | R | In which Sehun starts his senior year of college with a new roommate – Jongin has one too many demons to fight.

  • Update 15.07.07 :

- Room 301. |smut , hybridau| Jongin is a dog hybrid who’s lived at the veterinary hospital his whole life and Sehun is a cat hybrid who’s Jongin’s new next door neighbour.

  • Update 15.08.06 :

- My Angel  | Smut, Fluff, Little Angst | Having a pampering sugar daddy may not be a bad idea after all.

  • Update 15.11.07 :

- Hypernova | Smut,Fluff, Non-AU| The story of how Jongin and Sehun’s friendship forms, strengthens, and delves into love over the years.

  • Update 16.01.03 :

- Territorial Boundaries |Fluff, Smut, Mpreg, Hybridau| Sehun get’s a hybrid puppy for his 8th birthday. The two grow attached to each other. 10 years pass by and Sehun notices some changes in his pup. It was how Jongin seems to stare at him quite often with a wanton glint in his eye, or how he had turned possessive and growls at anyone who so much as laid their hands on Sehun,

- A Sinner or a Saint |Fluff, Romance|  Oh Sehun was from a strict Christian family. His father was a pastor, who had already decided Sehun’s life plans for him. When the boy Kim Jongin, with bleached blonde hair, tattoos covering his body and a couple of piercings moves into the neighbourhood, right next door to Sehun

- Somewhere Only We Know |R , Bestfriendsau| Following a divorce, Jongin’s high school love suddenly moves into his city. But it’s been years–and Osaka is full of surprises.

  • Update 16.04.12 :

- You Mean The World To Me |Fluff| jongin described sehun as his whole universe, the one who had always rotated around him and the one who kept him standing without falling apart.

- Being In Love Is Not A Crime |Fluff| In which Sehun had to marry someone he hates wholeheartedly.

- Give You Everything You Want (Everything You Need) |Fluff, ParentAU| When Sehun moved to a little town far from everything he’d ever known, he wasn’t expecting get feelings for anyone. Even less for his daughter’s annoyingly perfect kindergarten teacher.

- My Eyes Adored You |Fluff| A nerdy outcast unexpectedly gains an avid secret admirer when he moves into a new university. Who? His hot supermodel crush whom he always thought was a million miles away from him.

- Rivals at Heart. |RivalAU| Sehun never expected things to get dirty with his rival in a swimming pool.

- For His Happiness |Fluff, Mpreg, Angst| Jongin and Sehun had a good life. They had been lovers for five years, and even though Minseok wasn’t his son, Sehun had raised him with Jongin since the child was four.Everything was perfect.Until the father of Minseok and the love of Jongin’s life came back, and Jongin’s special smile returned.What could Sehun do but back away from the life that never really belonged to him in the first place?

  • Update 16.07.04 :

- Starlight  |Fluff, Mpreg| Three months down the road, and things never seem to be boring in the lives of Sehun and Jongin. sequel to For His Happiness.

-Suffer, demon |Smut,Fluff| it’s sehun’s birthday, he’s got ticklish hip bones, and he thinks he might pass out a little when he’s fucked on his back

- J |Fluff, Smut,HighSchoolAU| Jongin just wants to show the world that Sehun is his.


  • Update 17.01.29 :

- The story of a deal turned love |Angst, Romance, Mpreg| Sehun and Jongin are forced to marry in order to produce their hair.

- Pregnant with my best friend’s baby  |Angst, Romance, Mpreg| Sehun was in love with his best friend. Nothing new here.But one night will change everything between them. Sehun doesn’t regret it but how long before Jongin finds out the trust.

  • Update 17.02.05 :

- So Baby Come Light Me Up |Omegaverse, ABOAU| Getting a new student is a rarity in the first place, but someone transferring a quarter into the school year is basically unheard of. Why the son of one of the wealthiest and most influential families in the country has suddenly decided to come to their school is a mystery. Even more so when the son in question is an alpha.

Seventeen going to the Convenience Store

Episode Four: Where Seventeen visits the convenience store because of someone’s hunger.


Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “WONWOO!!!”

Wonwoo: *jumps up from bed in shock* “What now?”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry” *smiles*

Wonwoo: “You’ve got to be kidding me”


Mingyu: “Minghao”

The8: “Shut up and go back to bed”

Mingyu: “No wake up!”

The8: “Go bother someone else”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry let’s go to the convenience store”

The8: “Ask someone else like Wonwoo”

Mingyu: “I did and he didn’t want to”

The8: “Obviously he wouldn’t IT’S 4AM YOU IDIOT”

Mingyu: “FINE you all leave me with no choice then…” *leaves room*

The8: “Finally thank god”


Mingyu: *takes a sip of water*

Mingyu: *clears throat*

Mingyu: “FIREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FIREEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP EVERYONE THERE’S A FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Mingyu: “COUPS HYUNG YOUR CHILDREN ARE ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “JEONGHAN HYUNG YOUR HAIR IS ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “WOOZI HYUNG YOUR STUDIO IS ON FIREEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “CHAN YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON ALBUMS ARE ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “VERNON YOUR MACBOOK IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “HOSHI HYUNG WOOZI IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JOSHUA HYUNG YOUR GUITARS ARE ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “WONWOO YOUR BEANIE COLLECTION IS ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JUN YOUR PASSPORT BACK TO CHINA IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEUNGKWAN JEJU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEOKMIN DONKEY KONG IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “MINGHAO MINGYU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: *takes a seat on the sofa and waits patiently*


Seventeen: *runs into the living room*

Scoups: “MY CHILDREN ARE YOU ALL ALRIGHT?!”

Jeonghan: “AM I- AM I BALDDDD???! No wait don’t tell me I don’t want to know” *cries*

Dino: “MICHAEL JACKSON MY SPECIAL EDITION ALBUMS DON’T WORRY DINO WILL PROTECT CHU”

Jun: “My passport! My passport! Nooo!! I need it to leave this placeeeee”

Wonwoo: “1 beanie, 2 beanie, 3 beanie, 4 beanie…. WAIT beanie number 5 is missing!!!”

Hoshi: “WOOZI WOOZI WOOZI ARE YOU OUHKAY ERMAGAWD I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SECRETLY CREPT INTO YOUR ROOM TO SLEEP TONIGHT”

Woozi: “You creep into my room to sleep?!” 

Hoshi: “I didn’t say anything”

Vernon: *runs out with a pail of water and pours it on his mac*

Woozi: “Vernon, you know that you just poured a bucket full of water on your perfectly fine Macbook right?”

Vernon:

Vernon: “What?” *realises situation*

Woozi: “Unlike you all, I don’t fall for Mingyu’s dumbass tricks”

Vernon: “Give me a moment while I cry in the corner”

Woozi: “It’s gone bro”

Seungkwan: “HELLO HI OMG MUM I HEARD THAT THERE’S A FIRE IN JEJU ARE U OKAYYY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FIRE?”

Joshua: “Is this powder on the floor- perhaps the remains of my guitar?” *welps*

The8: “No, it’s just leftover ramen seasoning that a certain someone forgot to clean last night”

Mingyu: “Minghao, I said I was on FIREEEee! why aren’t you asking if I’m okay??”

The8: “I honestly just came out to watch you get burnt alive but after coming out of my room, I am utterly disappointed”

Scoups: “Hang on someone’s missing! ONE OF MY CHILDREN IS MISSING!”

Scoups: “SEOKMIN! SEOKMIN WHERE ARE YOU?”

DK: “Sleeping”

Mingyu: “But your donkey kong is on fire!”

DK: “UGH I’m so done with you Mingyu, I hope every donkey kong burns to the ground” gasp

Scoups: “Okay so everyone’s fine, there is clearly NO fire, it’s 4 in the morning, what in the name is the meaning of this Kim Mingyu?”

Mingyu: “Mingyu wants food”

Seventeen: “…”

Jeonghan: “So let me get this straight, you woke us up at 4 freaking AM and messed around with my hair getting caught on fire, for food?!?!?!”

The8: “I knew it”

Vernon: “Dude not cool, my macbook got fried” *sobs*

DK: “Great, so donkey kong isn’t on fire, what a nightmare”

Woozi: “I’m going back to bed”


Mingyu: “But Mingyu wants some food” *pouts*

Jun: “Someone hold me back if not I’m gonna hit this tall thing”

Scoups: “Alright, alright. First of all, no violence in this household is allowed, secondly if it was allowed, I am the one who is going to hit this child”

Scoups: “Thirdly, since we’re already up, let’s just go down and get some food”

Mingyu: “YAYYY” *throws confetti in the air*

Dino: “Confetti! Wheeeeee!!” *tries to catch confetti*

Joshua: “Am I the only one who wonders where the confetti came from?” 

Jun: “There is no way I’m going down at this time-“

Wonwoo: “I’m a little hungry”

Jun: “LETS GO”

Jeonghan: “Seungcheol, I blame you for spoiling our children”

Joshua: *glares at coups*

Scoups: “What do you mean? Mingyu’s bad habits came from you…”

Jeonghan: “What are you saying, you’re the one who always-“

Mingyu: “I WANT FOOD”

Scoups: “Can’t you see that your parents are arguing?!”

Jeonghan: “Don’t yell at the children!”

Scoups: “URGH”


*at the store*

Mingyu: “This is how heaven must look like”

Seungkwan: “Yeah, if you want to gain like 50 pounds and wear a size 100, going to the emergency ward for a heart attack then yeah sure!”

Dino: “Dino was upset about my albums before but my heart is fluttering, I think I’m in love”

Jun: *stares at chan and stares at the dinosaur crackers and back at chan*

Jun: “Must. Contain. Judgement.”

Dino: *hugs box of dinosaur shaped crackers*

Jeonghan: “Do you want me to buy that for you Dino?”

Dino: *nods like the adorable child he is*

Vernon: “Do they sell Macbooks here?”

Joshua: “No Hansol it’s a convenience store why would they sell Macbooks?”

Joshua: “Frankly, I’m quite happy that your Macbook is gone, it’s been creating a gap between our relationship, now I just need your phone to disappear and it’ll be all good between us”

Vernon: “Hello kind sir, do you perhaps sell Macs?”

Cashier: “Oh, we don’t but down the street there’s a Mac-“

Vernon: “THANK YOU SIR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR KINDNESS” *runs*

Cashier: “-Mcdonalds…”

Joshua: “So far so great” appearance of evil josh?


Mingyu: “HOLY MOLY WHAT IS THIS?”

Wonwoo: “Chips?”

Hoshi: “It’s called Cheetos gyu, haven’t you tried it before?”

Mingyu: “BUT IT’S ORANGE!”

The8: “It’s just cheese”

Mingyu: “CHEESEEEE”

Mingyu: *opens bag*

Wonwoo: “Erm Mingyu you know that you’re supposed to pay before opening it right?”

Mingyu: “Om nom nom what is this magical taste in my mouth?”

The8: “Don’t over-react Mingyu, it’s just chips covered in oil and artificial flavoured cheese”

Seungkwan: “You forgot to add trans fat”

Mingyu: “But it tastes sho good!” *squeals*

Mingyu: “Minghao can you hold this for me, I need to tie my shoelaces”

The8: “Fine but hurry up”

Cashier: “Did you just open up the chips without paying?!”

Mingyu: “He did it” *points to Minghao*

The8: “WHAT THE FUNK YO”


Cashier: “I’m calling the cops” *takes phone out*

Scoups: “Okay what’s happening now?”

Cashier: “Are these yours?”

Scoups: “Yes they’re my children, that at this point of time I’m seriously considering abandoning, but for now yes they are”

Cashier: “They opened the packet of chips without paying for it, it’s a crime and they can go to jail for it”

Seungkwan: “I predict you’re going to rot in that cell until you’re 30”

The8: “I ain’t going to jail man”

Scoups: “I’m sorry, these kids didn’t know any better, can I just pay for it instead? Please don’t call the cops, we have a music show to do tomorrow and the CEO will flip out if they aren’t there, just tell me how much it is”

Cashier: “Just pay me 50 bucks and we’ll call it even”

Scoups: “50?! What a rip-off!”

Hoshi: “Well there goes your hard-earned money”

The8: “The worst part is… I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT”

Cashier: “What do you mean you didn’t do it, the bag is open and it’s in your hands”

Mingyu: “YEAH MINGHAO HOW COULD YOU! ITS ILLEGAL!”

The8: “WHY I OUTTA-“ *rolls up sleeve* thughao

Scoups: “Boys, don’t fight here!”

Seungkwan: “Pass me that bag of chips hosh, this is getting interesting”

Cashier: “Hello is this the police?”

Scoups: “OKAY SIR HERE’S 50 DOLLARS ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Cashier: “Sorry, there’s an inflation of price, it’s 100 now”

Scoups: “That is absurd, it’s practically daylight robbery!”

Wonwoo: “Actually hyung, it’s night-time robbery…. because it’s at night…”

Hoshi: “So it’s either we sent Minghao to jail or pay $100? What kind of sick logic is that?”

Seungkwan: “I say we send Minghao to jail and spend the hundred on something else like meat”

The8:

The8: “I feel the love y’all”

Cashier: “The address is 62-gil Gangnam-gu, yes the convenience store-“

Scoups: “HERE’S 100!”

Cashier: “Happy New Year children” *kisses the stack of cash*

Hoshi: “There goes our lunch for tomorrow”


Scoups: “WHO DID IT”

Wonwoo: “Wonwoo will not testify”

The8: “I swear hyung its Mingyu”

Mingyu: *shakes head*

The8: “You liar! You almost sent me to JAIL!”

Mingyu: “Okay fine, I opened it. It just looks so yummy I had to eat one”

Scoups: “The CEO gave it to me for us to use wisely and now it’s all gone, you better not make any more trouble or I’m going to seriously consider abandoning you”

Seungkwan: “Don’t forget that he broke Jin Sunbaenim’s display case that day”

Mingyu: “SHHHHH don’t remind him”

Scoups: “Let’s just all go home and get some rest”


*back at the dorm*

Mingyu: *sits on bed and takes out Cheetos packet*

DK: *wakes up*

DK: “What is that crunching sound?”

Mingyu:

DK: *sniff sniff*

DK: “Is that cheetos I smell?”

Mingyu: “MINE!” *closes packet and hides under blanket*


masterlist ✨

Read the previous episode: Seventeen going to a Christmas Party (feat. BTS)

Happy New Year Everyone!!! 😘🎉🎊💫🙌💕 Its 20 Seventeen!~

anonymous asked:

Hello :) There are loads of discussions about the whole weirdness of Mary's death scene. What I found strange even during the first watch and haven't seen mentioned yet: There are three or four cops there, wouldn't they at least draw their weapons at lastest the moment Vivien points her gun at an unarmed civilian (and in the general direction of everyone)? I mean, she's not even hiding the gun, they must've seen it when they came into the room. The only one really reacting seems to be Greg...

SHERLOCK: But then how did …
JIM (speaking over him): Then how did I break into the Bank, to the Tower, to the Prison?
(He turns and spreads his arms wide.)
JIM: Daylight robbery. All it takes is some willing participants. (x)

Mary’s death is very melodramatic- almost too perfect: leaping in front of Sherlock, being able to whisper some last dying words… “like a scene from a play” as Sherlock says in TEH.

That’s because it’s all STAGED, a fake, just a performance. Mary has a group of “participants” as Jim did, and they may very well include that ineffective group of police! (And that’s not the only allusion to The Reichenbach Fall, see here.)

Except, this time, Mary’s “participants” in helping her fake her death may not be very willing at all. They could very well be trapped in a corner.

Who helped Sherlock fake his death, who initiated ‘LAZARUS IS GO?’

Who was seen shaking hands with Moriarty? (x-a brilliant video by @mollydobby) (not yet seen on the show, but I’m sure it will appear…)

It’s a bit odd that Sherlock asks Mycroft to phone an ambulance and, instead of doing so there and then, he goes OFF SCREEN, OFF THE STAGE. He’s hiding something very big.

And, when all this comes out, that he helped Mary fake her death and shook hands with Moriarty… Dear me, Mr Holmes, dear me.

Originally posted by enigmaticpenguinofdeath

disposable-x  asked:

my fav song is either sign on by ratboy/ bang by blur

I’ve never heard of Ratboy before but he ain’t too bad! And Bang, in my opinion, is probably the best song off Leisure

Sign On
“Every week do the lottery, daylight robbery
Spending more on tickets than it’s worth in the long run
Young, dumb, living off Mum”

Bang
“Sitting on the early bus
Passing through the morning rush
It makes no difference
That I’m not with you”

Speaking in Tongues

@opulent-imperial

Oho, but you haven’t seen anything yet.” The two find themselves by the Statue, the Town Crier wasted, past out by the steps, snoring like a saw to a log. The Heir pulled out a handkerchief, carefully and delicately plucked the newsletter from the man’s hand. His handkerchief quickly stains from the damp paper.
    He huddles close to the graverobber and reads it with her.
   The newsletter was suppose to read something of a Daylight Robbery, and how the robbers will eventually be caught given the Hamlet’s modest size. Luckily, being a man of Court of Law has allowed June to decipher this grammatical and vocabulary nightmare. No wonder the Crier is drunk all the time, you’d have to be to read this mind numbing caravan wreck.
    The heir can’t help but titter.

Now, Crevecoeur has always prided herself on her linguistic skills. She spoke several languages with great fluency, and was literate in all of them - as if her Governess would allow any less. She had little trouble adjusting to living in an English-dominated world, even though it had never been her strong suit.

But this?

This wasn’t a sentence, it was incomprehensible nonsense the likes of which she had only heard shrieked from the mouths of swinefolk and bloodsuckers. Squinting, she struggles to decipher it beyond the most base premise, a frown delicately making its way across her features. Something about a robbery, in the least. 

Knowing the people around here, she suspect she knew exactly who did such a thing. Not that she’d tell.

“… I suppose we ought to applaud whatever poor sap wrote this. They’re clearly working very hard for someone who only just came to understand the concept of coherency.”

Massdrop is selling Sennheiser’s HD 650 again for $250
Last year, Massdrop — a crowd-shopping website that is known to specialize in some great headphones — released a limited run of the Sennheiser HD 6XX, a rebranded version of Sennheiser’s legendary HD 650 open-back headphones at a price that my colleague Vlad Savov describes as “less a deal and more a daylight robbery.” And now they’re back at a similar ultra-low price of $249.99. Given that it usually costs around $350 for a pair of HD 650s, that makes this a great deal on some truly excellent headphones. The only changes are a “midnight blue” color, a shorter five-foot cord (instead of the original 10-foot one), and a more useful 3.5mm headphone jack instead of a 6.35mm connector. Read more
Pay to Play

Chapter One

AU Tom/ dom!Tom

Charlotte Green is a shy and studious medic student living in London struggling to pay the bills; she joins a ‘sugar daddy’ website and gets selected by none other than Tom Hiddleston, a notorious bachelor and extremely wealthy City solicitor, with a few little kinks.

M rating.

Next

_________________________________________________________

I have morals, I have standards, I have self-esteem…unfortunately, I also have a truckload of student debt and no way of paying it off. The last is the reason why I ended up sitting in the reception room of a glossy townhouse in Belgravia, about to meet the man who had decided to ‘sponsor’ me in return for a ‘relationship’. Yes, I do realise how creepy it sounds. My skin was practically crawling before I had even met him. I had only seen a tiny picture of him from the website, and frankly, I had no proof that he actually looked as handsome in real life as those pixels claimed.

The room was completely, eerily silent, and decorated in a very modern, ‘masculine’ way. I didn’t like it at all. It felt cold, clinical and overpowering. I like vintage furniture and pastel patterned wallpaper. Absurdly, I imagined that the room was snootily judging me and my attire. I actually had to borrow the dress from a friend, I don’t really do dresses, least of all ones as sexy and sophisticated as this one. I did like the shade of blue, though. I couldn’t stop fidgeting with the hem, wishing it was several inches longer.

You’re probably wondering why I voluntarily placed myself in a situation that both creeped me out and made me feel exceedingly uncomfortable- well, I have two words for you: university fees. I’m studying medicine in the City, and the fees are extortion, absolute daylight robbery. Add that to living expenses: rent, food, transport, and I total thousands of pounds a month. My student funding, although relatively generous, doesn’t cover even half of what I need.

Keep reading

2

“Those digits are meaningless. They’re utterly meaningless. You don’t really think a couple of lines of computer code are gonna crash the world around our ears? I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in you, ordinary Sherlock.”
“But the rhythm-”
“Partita number one. Thank you, Johann Sebastian Bach.”
“But then how did-”
“Then how did I break into the Bank, to the Tower, to the Prison? Daylight robbery. All it takes is some willing participants. I knew y
ou’d fall for it. That’s your weakness- you always want everything to be clever.”

BACK IN STOCK:

Powers Who Killed Retro Girl!

Powers is set to debut on the Playstation network December 2014! 

Heroes glide through the sky on lightning bolts and fire. Flamboyant villains attempt daring daylight robberies. Godlike alien creatures clash in an epic battle in the night sky. And on the dirty city streets below, homicide detective Christian Walker does his job. Now, Walker must investigate the shocking murder of one of the world’s most popular superheroes: Retro Girl. Walker is teamed up with spunky rookie Detective Deena Pilgrim, and the investigation takes them from the city’s seedy underbelly to the gleaming towers that are home to immortal beings. As shocking, twisted truths about Retro Girl come to light, Walker discovers that to solve this crime, he might have to reveal his own dark secret. 

Get the first book from Star Clipper for only $15.99!