The reason this hurts so much, the reason that I wake up and fall asleep with an aching heart and tear-stained cheeks more often than not, is not simply because you are gone. Yes, that is the main source of my misery; but I’ve been stuck in this place with you in one form or another for the last five years. And while your absence breaks me a little more each day, it is an old pain; I’ve grown accustomed to it’s company.
No, what destroys me now, with the sudden and absolute end you’ve forced upon me, is the death of the future I longed for. Gone are the daydreams of quiet nights spent in your arms, curled up together watching movies. Gone are the daydreams of meeting your friends, the hours spent together playing games or going to concerts. Gone are the daydreams of just us, but together. The house, the kids, my entire life with you, gone.
And how does one mourn a future now lost? I can’t even begin to imagine my future now.