100 happy days - day 33 • Definitely the motivation I need to get me through today • #100happydays #day33 #optimism #motivation #quotes #dontgiveup #positivity #todaywillbeagoodday #happy #positivevibes #positivity #year12 #vce #study #studymotivation 🌸
Endah & Rhesa – When You Love Someone When you love someone, just be brave to say. That you want him, to be with you. When you hold your love, don’t ever let it go. Or you will lose your chance, to make your dreams come true… ♫ ♪
St Christopher. Patron saint of traveling. It’s kinda hard to tell but he’s leaning forward while a young Jesus sits on his shoulder. #lent2016 #40for40 #day33 #stchristopher #catholic #backtothedrawingboard
Today has been honestly the best day in so long (well the evening not so much the rest of the day) but I’m so damn happy my anxiety levels have now decreased around one specific person and I feel quite human right now
What I love most about the martial arts and combat sports is how there’s always more to learn.
When you get your head straight, it doesn’t matter how much stronger or weaker your training/sparring parter or opponent is - because (…cue the panpipes) it truly is the case that your real opponent is yourself. The answer is inside you, and you need to remain open and curious, disciplined and hardworking. This is how you ascend from one plateau to the next through the mists of learning. Frustration and fatigue gives way to an infinite series of summits. By being open and respectful to the process, to others, to yourself.
This was a good week. I think much of it is down to focussing my work on shorter, more effective sessions, rather than grinding through long gruelling sessions. I just finished hard sparring and it’s the hardest I’ve pushed this year so far. Not accepting dominance from partners, switching things up when a tactic isn’t working, figuring out strategies on the fly while shoring up my own leaks and openings. I feel Wednesday’s work on counters and interceptions really brought home a lesson I’ve not been able to take onboard for a long time - the dangerous situations I put myself in when I go toe-to-toe, brawl, expose my chin, forget my feet, hips and shoulders and swing wide from the arm. It’s slow and predictable, I steal my own balance, open myself to easy counters and waste my energy. I was able to implement learnings from that lesson in sparring tonight but it’s just the beginning…something I’m going to have to strive to eliminate over the coming months.
Tight, controlled movements on the inside. Correct footwork and timing to keep in control of the situation, dictating the flow of each exchange. Hands high, feints frequent and angles diverse to draw the mistake.
It is exactly 4 weeks today until I begin my journey home! Wow, that’s kinda scary to think! I’ll have to start using my brain to figure out the airport soon oh no. Hopefully it’ll not be as bad as last time. In all honesty if there’s even a slightest inconvenience I’ll cry. Not gonna lie tho when I reach Paris and I’m exhausted and shit I’ll probably cry anyway haha. Today was relatively calm, i had a children’s class (boo) and a 1 to 1 class (yay!) which is where you just have a conversation with the student about anything they want. And this girl chose Supernatural oh my lord I was so happy. Well she actually chose American TV programs but we both wanted to speak about Supernatural so much that that’s all we spoke about. Well that and Hell’s Kitchen. Then I had an English corner, and I spoke about the Eurovision Song Contest! It was great, the students were so embarrassed by Scooch and I nearly died of second hand embarrassment talking about them in all honesty. They seemed quite interested though, so maybe I’ve converted them into avid Eurovision fans. They were quite keen on making a “Cup of Europe” so I hope they enjoy it. I then started to get super excited for this years Eurovision (there’s only 150 days until the final!!). And that was me for the day. But I’m getting a day off tomorrow!! Thank god, I’m exhausted haha. I’ve still got a cold so I shall use tomorrow to rest up. Maybe I’ll finally be able to post those postcards! Oh finally when I came home, someone had exploded in the toilet. It was DISGUSTING and it wouldn’t flush away at all. They had to get a plunger to sort it, and nobody owned up to it. It was so gross
It’s been one month since I last pulled. I’m so happy right now!
I’ll start to track my next goal today.
If you are struggling right now, please remember to be patient with yourself. I know it’s hard to fight trich and I know it seems like it won’t stop but trust me, it will. I can’t promise you that it’ll stop forever because I know it doesn’t happen often. It only happens to a small and lucky group of people. I have been relapsing for 7 years. I haven’t been lucky at all. But there will come a day when it’ll stop and it won’t bother you for a while and it’ll make you feel happy and worth it. Yearn for these amazing times.
“Every soldier must know, before he goes into battle, how the little battle he is to fight fits into the larger picture, and how the success of his fighting will influence the battle as a whole.”
Don’t let trich become the soldier in this battle. You are strong and you are beautiful and you will get through this. It’ll all be worth it even if it doesn’t last long. Every minute that you don’t pull is a success.