I remember… When I was first diagnosed. In fact before I was even diagnosed and I was sitting in my living room at 3 am with ice packs under my arms, my breathing was horrible and I felt freezing. It was the only thing to soothe the pain.
Every breath in felt like that moment you were under the water too long and your ribs were screaming to let your lungs have oxygen? Like that, every time I breathed in, and my breathing rate was quick, too quick. I remember every breath in I had to scream to deal with the pain, and I couldn’t stop no matter how much I was told to ‘cut it out’.
I remember my throat being so sore from having to try and bring in as much air as possible and the screams that just would not stop coming.
That was diabetes, before I had even become acquainted with it.
They all said it is manageable, which is very true, they told me I would be on injections for the rest of my life. They told me I would have to check my blood sugar up to ten times a day every day. They told me I can still do everything I used to, and can still have a future…
They did not tell me I would be up until god knows when crying because my bg wouldn’t come down or up.
They did not tell me I would become too weak to even string a sentence when my blood sugars fell low.
They did not tell me that every prick and needle would leave an ugly scar or bruise in its wake.
They did not tell me that I would be left in the state I was, in so much pain, if it went too high.
They did not tell me that insulin burns on the tip of a needle when it enters your skin, and it will be worse if you take the needle out to redo it.
They did not tell me that I would be left in the early hours of the morning wishing none of us had to deal with this or anything else.
Sometimes, I wish I could make it go away. I want it to go away for everyone. It makes me so angry towards myself when I feel down knowing that I need to just keep going. There is no giving up
Today a friend told me that I should take my health into my own hands and pursue natural remedies and vitamins to recharge my pancreas and cure my T1D. I told him that there is no cure for type 1 and he said of course there is not if you keep thinking like that.
He said conventional western medicine is focused so much on big pharmaceutical companies that they prefer to keep people sick and keep them spending money and that I should not trust anything western medicine says. The pharmaceutical thing is kinda true but that does not mean there is some secret cure to T1D in blended green veggies and vitamin capsules. I need insulin, my body needs insulin and is killing off the cells that make it, juice will not revive that and you can’t just live off of vegetable juices!!
My friend said that I have to believe I can cure myself and I’m half way there. Also he doesn’t believe I’m actually type 1 diabetic because I was diagnosed at 19 not as a child. According to him I have adult onset type 1 diabetes which can be reversed if I work hard at it and drink green juices every day for every meal and take loads of vitamins and follow homeopathic remedies.
I don’t even know how to respond to him because I respect him. It upsets me because I can see the disappointment in his eyes when I tell him that type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease that does not have a cure and I need to inject insulin to live. I know he is saying this cuz he cares about me and truly believes in his natural cures but I just don’t see how the fuck he expects me to revive my pancreas / insulin producing cells with believing I can, vitamins and green juices.
Whenever I am around him I feel self conscious about my diabetes and try to hide it cuz I know he looks down on me for using my meter and cgm and insulin, and if I ever got a pump I know he would have so much to say about that and me relying on technology when I could just cure myself. 🙄🙄🙄 I’m just so frustrated and I wish he would just understand but he never will so I just have to accept his ignorance and unwillingness to trust the person who is actually living with type 1 diabetes. People need a better understanding of all types of diabetes. I am so done with this…
Alcohol (in excess), believe it or not, lowers blood sugar!! The effects of this also last until the morning and possibly even longer. When I was first diagnosed, I made the horrible mistake of waking up the next morning after a night of drinking, seeing my number was 200, gave myself a correction dose, fell back asleep, and woke up again at 32. If you are high the morning after drinking just wait it out and see how you are in a few hours. Also, if you get the munchies be very careful when dosing for the food. I usually only dose half the carbs, sometimes I don’t dose at all, it all depends how your body is.
Most importantly, let the people you’re drinking with know you have diabetes and what to do in case of an emergency! (this is including those not 21 yet. I was young once, I drank before I was 21 and I know some of my younger followers probably drink, just please be safe about it).
Please stay safe this holiday weekend (for US followers) and stay safe this non-holiday weekend (non US followers). In fact, just be safe every weekend! <3
What’s it like to have type 1 diabetes? What’s it really like?
It’s like you want to kill yourself, because being dead would be so much easier than dealing with this on a regular basis. Except, you would never actually end your life. You want to, so badly, but you’ll never do it. You don’t want diabetes to win. You won’t let the thing that’s slowly killing you to finally do it’s job. Instead, you just think about death. Obsess over it. To the point where now this disease is a mental game. No matter how often those thoughts cross your mind, you won’t do it. You refuse to let this bastard win.
It’s like you’re drowning. The waves are crashing over your head and water is slowly, and painfully, filling up your lungs but you just won’t die. You need to get air in your lungs. You can’t bare this torture any longer but the pain won’t take you away. You are stuck there in limbo. You can’t die but you can’t live either. Your life is now consumed by pain and no matter how badly you want that breath of fresh air, you won’t get it. Ever.
It’s like you listen to your parents. You follow their step-by-step instructions but they still ream you out for something that was out of your control. You did everything you were supposed to do but it still wasn’t good enough. So, you try to apologize, try to make up for it, but they aren’t having any of it. They punish you and you think ’this is so unfair’ but this is your life now and you have to get used to it.
It’s like the world around you is on fire. Everyone and everything you have ever loved is going up in flames. You do absolutely everything in your power to try to save them all but your efforts are in vein. You’re the only one not getting touched by the fire but you see and hear all your loved ones crying out for your help. There’s nothing you can do. You feel completely helpless. You wish you can do more, but they go up in smoke right in front of your eyes.
It’s like contemplating giving your self one too many extra units of insulin. Because, maybe then, all of this would go away. You know you’re stronger than that though. However, you’re sick of being strong, sick of being told you’re strong. But, like before, you won’t let diabetes win. So you give yourself the proper amount
It’s like being isolated. No one truly understands where you are coming from. They try to empathize but they’ll never actually get it. You’re constantly the butt of everyone’s jokes. They mock you, tease you, and you feel completely and totally alone. So you shut down, shut everyone out, even if they want to help.
Diabetes feels like you can never win. You can try your damn hardest, but you’ll always lose.
Yes you, over there! What do you know about diabetes?
No, it’s not being fat, and it’s actually more complicated than not eating sugar.
Well, since it seems most people don’t know that much about it, for World Diabetes Day, we’re gonna do a quick crash course.
There are two kinds of diabetes: Type 1 (formerly known as ‘Juvenile Diabetes’) and Type 2.
Type 2 is the more commonly known type. This can come about from flooding your body with more sugar than it can process. While many type 2 diabetics do have larger body types, they are not the only ones. Even if you are burning off the calories that you eat, your body still has to process the sugar you feed it, and while it you can’t get diabetes by eating healthy foods, nearly everything has sugar in it- bread, sauces, and even fruits and veggies all have sugar.
Type 1 is by far the lesser known of the two, for all that it is fairly common. No one knows exactly what contributes to Type 1, though there are many factors that are suspected to have a hand in it. Type 1 Diabetes is an irreversible autoimmune disease where your body’s immune system recognizes your body’s beta cells as foreign entities and destroys them. Beta cells are found in the pancreas and are responsible for producing insulin to break down sugar.
As of yet, there are no proven cures for Diabetes.
Type 2 Diabetics sometimes can technically ignore their Diabetes without fatal consequences. However, this can lead to serious health issues, including loss of nerve function in the feet (hence all those commercials you see on tv), irritability, and general unhealthiness. Type 1 Diabetics cannot.
Living with Diabetes is manageable, but some days it can be tough. Some of the realities kinda suck. To list a few:
- giving yourself a shot every time you eat or else wearing a pump
- managing your numbers every day
- screwing up your numbers can mean anything from feeling dizzy to death depending on the situation
- needing to carry insulin and a kit everywhere
- needing to know the nutritional facts of everything you eat, or at least be able to make an accurate guess
So, in order to help your friends with Diabetes, here are some things you can do to help them out (A/N: many of these are geared more towards Type 1):
- do not tell them that they cannot eat sugar. Especially if they are full grown. They know their bodies and their limits, and it is insulting to insinuate otherwise. (Besides which, this is inherently untrue, otherwise they would all die as everything has sugar of some kind. Diabetics just need to dose themselves with insulin to eat it.)
- do not harass them about their kits. Yes, it looks like they are taking drugs. Yes, they’ve heard that joke about a million times. No, it is not funny or okay to inform teachers that they are taking drugs. That is discrimination and bullying, and nobody needs that.
- if somebody close to you has Diabetes, ask them to teach you how and when to use their glucagon pen just in case. Also, keep hard candies, juice boxes, or other fast-release sugar sources on hand.
- give them the recipes of the food you make them. This will make their lives so much easier. Homemade food is nearly impossible to measure accurately, especially without at least an ingredients list.
- provide protein (i.e. cheese, beef) with meals, as it is one of the few things Diabetics can eat without dosing (though, if it’s drowned in sauce, this is no longer true)
- give them prep time if you want to plan trips. Lantus (long term insulin used for sleeping) needs a fridge. Insulin kits and snacks must be packed.
- do not pull on their pumps. Pumps are attached to the body like IVs- under the skin. This hurts.
- be generally accepting of their dietary needs and do not get frustrated when accommodating them. Remember, this is their life every day, a bit of inconvenience for their sake can go a long way.
- do not call them fat, or shame them for their Diabetes.
- DO NOT provide people who ask for diet soda with regular soda. This is not a joke. I don’t care how you feel about dieting, Diabetes is often not a visible thing, and while diet soda is okay to drink without dosing, regular soda will throw your numbers out of whack in a dangerous way.
Torturing myself with that pokedex challenge thing again this year…
Favorite ground types! Day 1! I couldn’t leave out some so I picked my top 4 TuT Garchomp gets the gold cuz he my fav, Swampert gets the silver cause 2nd fav~