Agents Maine and Washington are the only ones on the Mother of Invention who know sign language. And, like, they’re ALWAYS TALKING IN IT like super long, fast conversations. Wash will be talking to Connie and simultaneously signing to Maine at the same time. Maine will laugh. (Well. Chuckle. Maine doesn’t -laugh-.)

Everyone is really fuckin curious because Maine doesn’t talk, except he and Wash have conversations that last hours and no one understands what they’re saying (except maybe Florida? But who knows with that fucker)

So, like, Maine and Wash get sent on this super long mission, like a few weeks. And York spends the entire time on the internet learning sign language. He’s determined.

Finally the pair gets back and York is ready, so fuckin ready to see -

- and Wash and Maine are signing the bee movie to each other.

(York runs crying into North’s room. North throws him a bottle of vodka and sighs.)

Lavernius Tucker from Red Vs Blue.

Based on the idea that he’s some sort of saint or religious figure. Based on the post by @souridealist that said “Tucker may have been the alien version of the Virgin Mary”. Cue my deeply catholic grandfather rolling in his grave

Edit: okay so mom’s mad I called him the Virgin Mary. I am disowned.

Double edit: apparently my grammar is atrocious

RvB High School AU

Mr. Washington

  • Principal
  • Bad principal
  • Everyone’s convinced he’s related to George Washington
  • Absolutely not related to George Washington
  • Sometimes takes over Coach Tucker’s job
  • Doesn’t make any decisions

Ms. Carolina

  • Secretary
  • Makes all the decisions
  • In a love-hate relationship with world geography teacher
  • Also in a relationship with the cook
  • In a constant mind battle with Coach Tex
  • Always losing to Coach Tex
  • once fought the wrestling coach once and won
  • Scariest member of staff, according to students

Mr. Simmons

  • Math teacher
  • Organized as fuck
  • Gets angry when kids mispronounce words like library and jewellery
  • In a love hate relationship with Mr. Grif
  • Wants to scream but isn’t allowed
  • Happy for the first two weeks of school and then miserable for the rest

Mr. Grif

  • Music teacher
  • Hates being called Mr. Grif
  • Everyone calls him Mr. Grif
  • Serenades Mr. Simmons with his ukelele
  • Constantly rejected by Mr. Simmons
  • Pranks students


  • Tech Teacher
  • Hates being called Mr. Caboose
  • No one calls him Mr. Caboose
  • Widely accepted as one of the best teachers
  • Seriously how could you not love this ball of sunshine
  • Freckles is the robot dog he made
  • Best friends / Boyfriends with Mr. Church?? no one knows
  • Gets excited whenever kids make something cool
  • You literally can’t fail his class

Mr. Church

  • Physics teacher
  • Tired
  • Been teaching for 10 years
  • 8 cups of coffee
  • Class mostly consists of videos because he’s too tired to actually teach anything
  • Only time he gets excited is on test days, and then he gets an evil grin
  • Refuses to acknowledge the fact that him and Caboose work in the same building
  • Secretly doesn’t mind that him and Caboose work in the same building
  • Was married to Coach Allison a few years ago, but they got divorced when she left to join the millitary

Coach Tucker

  • Male PE coach
  • Doesn’t actually run or do anything that the students do
  • Sometimes let Junior take breaks
  • Absolutely treats Junior better than the rest of the kids
  • Accidentally swore at a kid once
  • Almost got fired on numerous occasions
  • Rumor has it he tried to flirt with the Mrs. Kai and got kicked in the face

Mrs. Kai

  • Health teacher
  • Looks like a cinnamon roll but has a very strict attitude when it comes to how her class is
  • Kind and sweet to the kids who get bullied
  • Absolutely kicked Coach Tucker in the face
  • Has a cute girlfriend named Emily who visits the school sometimes

Coach Allison

  • Female PE teacher
  • All her students love her
  • Constant mind battle with Ms. Carolina
  • Can and will turn her students into an army
  • Nothing can stop her

Mr. DuFresne

  • School Nurse
  • Awful at his job
  • The kind of nurse that gives ice packs for broken legs
  • Has a huge crush on the theatre director
  • Tried to speak at an assembly once and threw up
  • Only gave Donut permission to call him Doc
  • All the teachers call him Doc
  • All the students call him Doc too


  • Theatre director
  • Students call him Franklin, but his favorite students and the teachers call him Donut
  • Once did Legally Blonde as a play and the students swear he got a stupid grin whenever they sang “Gay or European”
  • Absolutely had got a stupid grin whenever they sang “Gay or European”
  • Only one that’s allowed to call Mr. DuFresne Doc
  • Dyes his hair a different colour every month 


  • History Teacher
  • No one knows his real name
  • No seriously not even Washington knows and he employed him
  • Reenacts all battles
  • Laughs at his students
  • Will not retire
  • Absolutely needs to retire

Mr. Ortez

  • Spanish Teacher
  • Constantly bickering back and forth Mr. Gates
  • Very no-nonsense class
  • Yelled at the kids once because they wouldn’t stop signing to eachother
  • Everyone knows him and Mr. Gates are in a relationship but he’d never admit it

Mr. Gates

  • ASL Teacher
  • Every class is a wild ride with this man
  • You either get a super fun class or a miserable class
  • There is no in between
  • Taught his kids to swear in ASL
  • Also told his kids to piss of Mr. Ortez whenever they can
  • Loves messing with Mr. Ortez
  • Once broke into his classroom and put live frogs in his desk

Coach Maine

  •  Wrestling Coach
  • Speaks in whistles
  • Loud whistles mean you did something wrong
  • Quiet whistles mean you did something good
  • When whistles aren’t enough he gets principal Wash to translate
  • Sometimes principal Wash comes and watches his practices

Ms. CT

  • World Geography Teacher
  • Won’t listen to the students if they call her Connie
  • Only one that’s allowed to call her that is Ms. Carolina
  • In a love-hate relationship with Ms. Carolina
  • it’s mostly hate ngl


  • Cook
  • Refuses to be called chef because the food he makes is gross
  • Hates school food and will sometimes sneak in real food
  • Head over heels in love with Ms. Carolina
  • Steals cookies from students when they’re not paying attention

Alright! Tuckington head canons because I’m tuckington trash 

Alright so modern au where tucker and wash are best buds, and when they start dating they have no fucking clue if they’re dating or not 

  • Like I said they’re BFF’s
  • and somewhere along the line they both start having feelings for each other, and are somewhat aware that the feelings are mutual but they’re like “nah no way what am I thinking”
  • but it’s totally mutual
  • and so like one day Tucks like “Hey man want to go to the movies with me” and wash is like “sure lets go” (bonus points if it’s a romcom)
  • and they hang up the phone and Tucker’s like “Holy shit I think I just asked out Wash”
  • and wash is like “Holy shit I think tucker just asked me out”
  • But like they’re also both like “Wait a minute we’re buds we go to the movies together all the time lets not read that much into it” But they are reading that much into it and they’re right 
  • Tucker pays for Wash’s snacks and they’re like okay now it’s a date… but wait he’s my dude we’ve both spotted each other cash before if we needed to maybe this isn’t a date

And this kind of thing just keeps happening

  • Tucker starts noticing that Wash walks him to a lot of his classes and wondering if that means something, but hey maybe they’re just chilling between classes like usual
  • Movie nights at each others places, and Wash notices that Tuckers lying his head in his lap, and that could be certainly romantic, but they’ve been best buds for so long no wonder they’re comfortable with each other like that
  • Long walks by the lake? Just getting some air with your bud
  • Carnival’s? Just a good time! Going in the tunnel of love? It’s funny haha *nervous sweating*
  • Ice skating? Nothing like chilling with your best bud on the weekend

Time passes 

  • And Wash and Tucker are still going on dates all the time but have no idea if they’re on dates or not
  • and Donut makes a comment about Tucker and Wash’s relationship
  • and Tucker’s eyes get all wide and he’s like
  • “What did you say?”
  • “That I wish I had a relationship like you and wash”
  • “I’m dating Wash!?”
  • “Yeah man was it a secret? cause if it was you guys are bad at hiding it”
  • And so tuckers like holy shit I’m so dumb I’m dating wash, and immediately drives to Wash’s house
  • “Dude we’re dating!” “Oh thank god it’s not just me” 

And they live happily ever after

Imagine Washington sending ugly snapchats to the other Freelancers, especially North and York. Some different ones include:

  • double chins. many double chins.
  • pictures of south and ct sitting together with a badly drawn heart around them using snapchat’s drawing tool
  • he also has an ongoing series of snapchats where he takes stalker sneaky pictures/videos of the director doing random things and he narrates them with an austrailian accent like he’s in one of those bad outdoors/survival shows. example: a shaky and highly zoomed in shot of the director eating in the mess hall. wash pans the camera around to himself and loudly whispers “a wild director has been spotted in the mess hall, eating food that was caught in nature just seconds before. incredible.”
  • pictures of him with a badly drawn mustache that he sends to wyoming
  • honestly just spams of him being weird