So I don’t really know where this came from but it was bouncing around in my head and I had to write it.
Rated T to M-ish but it’s just a funny little ficlet. No actual sexy times. IDK. See for yourselves. I can’t lie, I had a good chuckle writing this, I hope you have as much fun reading it!
Emma Swan was not very good at remembering dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, dentist appointments. Her mother would casually remind her of the date a few days prior to David, Killian and Henry’s birthdays every year, and for that she was eternally grateful.
It wasn’t that she didn’t try to remember, but she’d spent 28 years of her life training herself to forget dates, to let them pass her by without any acknowledgment. None of them were anniversaries of positive experiences, so why bother remembering them?
But a life-long habit wasn’t easy to break, and now that she wanted to remember things like birthdays, her parents’ wedding anniversary and her own anniversary with Killian…she was finding it a challenge.
Their first Christmas together, Killian had included a calendar with her gifts and it had most certainly come in useful, pinned to the wall beside their refrigerator where it would consistently catch her eye.
It didn’t help, however, that Killian would find absolutely any reason to celebrate an ‘anniversary’. They’d been together properly for a little under a year, and he’d already found twelve reasons to celebrate so-called anniversaries.
“Happy 6 month anniversary of the first time we watched the Netfix together, Swan!”
(She’d long since given up correcting his way of saying Netflix.)
“Happy 3 month anniversary of the first time I cooked you pancakes, darling!”
(Of course he’d always insist they celebrate that particular one with pancakes and she could never find it in her to argue.)
“Happy 1 year anniversary of the first time you held a knife to my throat, love!”
(She’d pointed out that it was the only time she’d held a knife to his throat but he’d brushed it off and cut her a slice of cake.)
So, when she got home from the station one unassuming Wednesday evening, greeted by balloons stuck to the front door and decidedly sensual music playing in the living room, the only light coming from candles scattered around the place, she was understandably intrigued and somewhat baffled.
She just really wished she’d returned home alone though, and didn’t have her equally confused father on her heels, eyeing the decoration warily.
But before he had time to suggest his own retreat, Killian called out to her from upstairs. She was about to warn him that she wasn’t alone, but he appeared at the top of the stairs then, still unable to see David from his position.
“Happy 1 year anniversary of the first time I saw you naked, love. Which is also the 1 year anniversary of the first orgasm I ever gave you.”
He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she stared at him in horror. He was stood at the top of the stairs, butt naked, a box of strategically held cupcakes the only thing standing between them and a full frontal show. She could feel her cheeks burning as she flushed from head to toe, and she heard her father almost choke on his own tongue.
David cleared his throat then, and Emma almost lost it as she saw the smile immediately disappear from Killian’s face, horror to match her own initial response replacing it. He scrambled backwards, disappearing from their view with a string of curses, and Emma couldn’t hold back the laughter bubbling from her.
She turned to find her father red-faced and at a loss for words. He awkwardly gestured behind him and backed away.
“Gonna-…home…your mother-…dinner….uh yeah…bye.”
With that, David turned and practically sprinted toward his truck, and he was roaring off down the street without looking back before Emma even had a chance to wave.
“Nice to know I can still give them a few traumatic parental experiences this late in the game.”
She chuckled to herself, before closing the door and heading straight up the stairs to find her pirate. She definitely didn’t plan to let those cupcakes go to waste.