david gn


GN: David are you crazy?

DT: D’you know there’s been something that I…something that I’m aware… I…I…(stammering)… I’ve conquered one. I used to spend an awful lot of time sss… if you… Blokes, tend to have a lot of black socks right?

GN: um hm.

DT: and I had to get the right black sock, with the right black sock.

GN: Yes.

DT: And I would spend hours with socks (unintelligible: arrayed? arranged?) 

(audience laughter as David continues to talk)

GN: Yes!

DT: (unintelligible)… a little bit of ribbing… and that… is that the same ribbing? Opening the curtains to get a light. (shakes head) Thats not quite the ss… but look, Graham,  look…look… this has changed my life.

(David begins to unlace his trainers)

GN: Oh no, no, what…

DT: This has changed my life, I can’t, I’m so excited I can’t get my… look…

GN: This will change my life?

DT: …with a hidden pattern.

GN: oooohhhhh.

DT: Look.


GN: I must do this.

DT: So you can tell… and secretly secreted in your shoe is the answer to all your ww… and these are even better, cause these ones TELL YOU WHAT DAY TO WEAR THEM ON!

GN: No!

DT: (gleefully): YES!

(everyone applauds)

GN: You’ve. Changed. My. Life.

DT: little tip for you (unintelligible).


(thank you to @licensed-to-ruffle-dat-hair for the heads up!)