do seth rogen, the franco brothers, and jonah hill realize that they’re the next adam sandler, kevin james, david spade, and rob schneider? because i’m just wondering when the trend of straight white men that make awful movies together is gonna end
The Perks Of Having A Family (David Franco Imagine WIth Sarah)
I was snuggling with my amazing husband when i feel a small body jump onto me. I open one eye to see my 4 year old son, Damien. Myself and his dad, David, groan at him continuing to jump on us. That’s when i feel another small body jump onto us. Our 5 year old daughter, Sydney.
“That’s it!” Dave exclaims as he tackles our two children. They burst into a fit of giggles as their father tickles them silly. I laugh at how much of a child David is himself.
“Alright guys! Lets let daddy sleep! he has to work today.” I say, pecking him on the forehead and getting out of bed and picking up Damien.
“But i don’t want daddy to work!” Sydney whines.
“Yeah daddy work all de time!” Damien joins in.
“Yeah well, daddy working is what lets you live in this house and have nice clothes. He has to or he’ll get in trouble from his boss!”
“Actually hun, I have the day off.”
“you do? Since when? You told me yesterday you had to work.” I was super confused.
“I got a call at like 5:30 this morning saying i have the day off cause my Co-star has to go to the doctor.” He explains. “Soooooooo that means…. we get to have a family day!” David picks up Sydney and cuddles her while hes still sitting on the bed.
“Well than, kids… what do you guys wanna do today?” I ask looking between my two wonderful kids.
“PARK!!” Damien yells right in my ear and i pull away slightly still holding him.
“YAY!! Park!! Park!! Park!!” Sydney exclaims bouncing up and down in her dad’s lap.
“I guess we'er going to the Park!” David laughs trying to make Sydney sit still.
“ kay guys! go get dressed and brush your teeth. Meet us at the kitchen table okay?” i tell them as i put Damien down.
“Okay mommy!” They say in unison as they run into their rooms.
Suddenly i feel two, strong hands grab my hips, and pull me down onto the bed before assaulting my neck with kisses. I giggle as he hits a ticklish spot on my neck. He chuckles deeply, making me go completely wild.
“babe..” i say around a little giggle
“what?” He mumbles against my neck, making feel all funny on the inside.
“W-we don-don’t have time.” My breath hitches as he starts to kiss harder and nibble on the sensitive skin. “We have to…… to get dressed and… and ready!” I finally manage to somewhat moan off my lips.
“well that’s no fun!” He pouts pulling away from me.
“I’m sorry baby! I’ll make it up to you tonight. i promise!” I kiss him hard one last time before getting back off the bed and heading to the closet.
I find some cute skinny jeans and white Tank with a bedazzled skull on it. I put the clothes on the bed and start slowly taking off the shirt i was wearing. It was one of Davids big shirts so i only had panties on underneath. I look up to grab my shirt and notice David staring at me with his bottom lip latched between his perfect teeth. It made me blush slightly. even though we were married it still made me feel special when he would do stuff like that.
“will you get off your lazy ass and get ready?” I chuckle trying to get him to get changed, knowing it wont happen. But at least i tried.
“your to distracting!” He simply states without moving a single muscle.
I slide off my Panties from the previous night. He is still staring at me but now with more lust in his eyes. i get on my underwear on as fast as i can. I mean don’t get me wrong, I REALLY could go for some Hard core sexytime right now. But i know the kids will be needing help with something any second now. Actually I’m a little surprised neither of them have called for one of us by now.
“MOMMY! DADDY!” I obviously spoke to soon.
i quickly finish getting dressed knowing Our little girl would walking through that door in 3…. 2…. 1
“mommy i need help!” Sydney whines as she has her dress half on, with her head through the arm hole and her arm tangled in the head hole. I giggle at the sight and Dave starts laughing as well.
“Oh my poor baby.” i say around another giggle escaping my lips as she waddles over. “here,” i pull the dress off and put it on properly. “better?”
“Thanks, Mommy! Can we go now?” She asks bouncing slightly in spot. She has always been a little energizer bunny, She gets that from her dad.
“Have you brushed your teeth?” I glare at her slightly. She doesn’t say anything and just runs into the bathroom she shares with her brother.
I see Dave starting to get up but quickly sit back down as he hears the sound of our sons voice. I quickly glance at the blanket to see his morning wood prominent from under the sheets.
“Daddy! Can we have pankwakes for break-ee-fest” Damien always called them that; we never really knew why, but we never correct him seeing as it makes him happy.
“I don’t know little man! why don’t you ask your mom? She’s the cook here. not me!” He said grabbing your son and rubbing his little belly. He looks up at me hopefully.
“Fine! go brush your teeth and we’ll talk!” He runs off as fast as his little legs can take him into the bathroom.
“God i love your ass in those jeans!” I spin around to see Dave getting harder. I took this as an opportunity to mess with him. I crawl onto the bed, Onto his lap and straddle him. I kiss as hard as i possibly can for as long as i can. I pull back, get off him and walk downstairs leaving him wanting more.
“RUDE!” He yells from the bedroom as i make my way to the massive kitchen, in our massive house. See when I married David, I told him to get me house with a really big kitchen and pantry, he took that a little to seriously and our kitchen is the biggest room in our house!
I start getting the things to make pancakes. I start pouring the batter into the pan when i hear a bunch of little foot steps come down the stairs. Sydney and Damien come into the kitchen and sit at the table And wait patiently just asking me random little questions. I’ve always loved how they were curious about everything. A few minutes later while the kids are eating and I’m packing a cooler with our lunch, Dave comes down.
“hey babe!” He walks behind me, puts one hand on my hip, and kisses my cheek. “mmm, smells good down here!” He continues as he walks over to join the kids at the table.
“would you like come, hunny?” I ask realizing what hes hinting at.
“That shouldn’t even be a question coming from your lips!” He gives me that sexy smirk and adds a small wink at the end, making me melt. “So, you guys excited to go to the park?” They both nod violently with excitement. David chuckles. “That’s what i thought!"
We finish breakfast and get to the park. The kids run off and play on the playground. Myself and David are sitting underneath a tree, sitting in a comfortable silence, watching our two beautiful creations playing on the jungle gym. I turn to David, nuzzle my face in his forehead a little, look into his eyes and kiss him lightly.
"i love you!” i whisper into his ear. He chuckles slightly and looks me straight in the eyes.
“I love yu-” he was cut of by a yelp and loud cry. We both turn our heads immediately, knowing exactly who’s cry that was. Sydney. “Oh my god!” David exclaims as he runs over to pick her up; Damien following close behind. By this point i had tears running down my cheek lightly as he carries her over to the blanket, setting her down gently. She had fallen off the monkey bars onto the asphalt. Her need was really badly scratched and was bleeding like crazy. “its okay sweetie pie!” David reassures her and kisses her forehead. He inspects it a little and turns to me. “One second okay princess?” He says softly before kissing her cheek and leaning in towards me. “i think we need to take her to the hospital. its a lot deeper than i thought.” He says calmly, trying not freak me out. I simply nod. I hated seeing my babygirl hurt. Well either of my kids. Damien was pretty thought though. He rarely cried. But Sydney was quite sensitive, much like myself. As soon as she would hurt herself i would always jump to the worse conclusions.
We get to the hospital and David is holding Sydney gently while i try and fill out the forms with tears blurring my vision. I managed to get through it and now it was just a matter of waiting. Damien was sitting quietly. He was normally pretty quiet but this was not normal for him. David starts slowly rocking Sydney trying to get her to sleep. I turn to Damien,
“Are you okay sweetie? Did you see what happened?” I ask calmly. He nods. “Can you explain to me what happened?” At this point David is listening in slightly.
“She was pwaing on the monkey bars and a meanie girl came a pushed her.” He explains in a small, quiet voice.
More tears started falling down my cheeks and i glance at David, he was fuming. He had the most dangerous look in his eyes, until he looked down at our sleeping princess and his expression changed from anger to sadness and i thought i saw a flash of pity cross his eyes. That’s when the doctor called us in. The numbed her knee and started stitching it up after they cleaned it. She was asleep the whole time so she didn’t feel it. They bandaged it up and said we could take her home.
David lays her down in her bed and Lays down beside her. I always knew he hated it when his Little girl got hurt. Mentally or physically. He was just laying there watching her sleep. I was putting Damien to bed. I walk to the doorway of Sydney’s room and i stand there as i watch her curl into her dads chest. I’m unsure how long i was standing there until i realized that David had fallen asleep as well. I walk over slowly, quietly and kiss Sydney’s forehead and than kiss David’s forehead. Which woke him up. He was always a light sleeper.
“oh! sorry baby! i didn’t mean to wake you.” i whisper gently. “ You can go back to sleep, I’m just going to go get changed and go to bed.” I kiss his cheek and start walking out of the room.
“Wait.” He grabs my wrist gently just stop me from leaving. I stop to look at him. “I’ll Come with you.” He very carefully moves away from Sydney and very lightly grazes his lips over the top of her head. I wouldn’t even really call it a kiss. He gets up and we walk to our bedroom.
We both change, being completely exhausted from the days events. We crawl int bed and quickly fall asleep with our limbs all tangled together under the sheets. It was stressful afternoon. but at least i got to spend it with my family.
A/N: Kay sorry this took so long sweetie! i hope you guys like it! i personally think its alright, not my best work but thats cuz it was rushed! Anyways i love you all! Squishy loves you guys too!!
The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Miss Osbourne by Walerian Borowczyk, 1981.
The Living Dead Girl by Jean Rollin, 1982.
The Fly by David Cronenberg, 1986.
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me by David Lynch, 1992.
The Witch by Robert Eggers, 2015.
The Neon Demon by Nicolas Winding Refn, 2016.
Films that end with a woman’s sublime or abject experience. Inspired in part by a post by batarde.
“Whatever is fitted in any sort to excite the ideas of pain, and danger, that is to say, whatever is in any sort terrible, or is conversant about terrible objects, or operates in a manner analogous to terror, is a source of the sublime; that is, it is productive of the strongest emotion which the mind is capable of feeling.”
A Philosophical Inquiry into the Origin of Our Ideas of the Sublime and the Beautiful by Edmund Burke, 1757.
“The corpse, seen without God and outside of
science, is the utmost of abjection. It is death infecting life.
Abject. It is something rejected from which one does not part,
from which one does not protect oneself as from an object.
Imaginary uncanniness and real threat, it beckons to us and
ends up engulfing us.”