david fellowes

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David: I was too late *crying* *holding smol Nerris close to him* I’m so sorryyyy *sobbing loudly*

Nerris: t'was not your fault David! *bleeding a lot and growing “sleepy”* Although I…didn’t roll for acrobatics or dexterity…it was a glor….ious…..bat…….tle….

Preston: NOOOO! SHE KILLED IT *gross sobbing*


Nerris the cute has been sorely defeated in battle, and now deals with a (miraculously not broken) sprained arm. The sorceress now has cool battle scars 😎

Title: A Proper Thank You

anonymous requested: Could I ask for a Negan imagine please :) based on how I appear, green eyes, dark almost black hair, and pale skin and can the reader be called Laura (not my name but similar) can the reader be underestimated by the saviours (because she’s like 21) she saves negans life with her amazing killing and shooting skills and Negan repays her with smut?

Character(s): Negan and Laura (original female character)
Summary: An underestimated, young Savior saves Negan’s life and he repays her the only way he knows how.
Word Count: 2,568
Warning: SMUT!
Author’s Note: Thank you to the anon who requested this! I love it when someone saves Negan’s ass, even more so that it’s a young woman who is just as badass. It’s awesome! Makes him more human and less invincible like he makes himself out to be lmao. So, I hope you enjoy this! Thank you for sending it in! :-)

Forever Taglist: @disfigured-it-out || @chunex || @jasoncrouse || @oceanicseries || @dixonsbait || @negan–is–god || @see-you-then-winchester || @sable-the-trans-ham || @k4veggies || @labyrinthofheartagrams || @purplemuse89 || @ladyynegan || @scentofpineandhazelnutlattes || @may85 || @a-girl-interupted || @spn-cw123 || @multireality || @ashzombie13 || @constellationsolo || @isayweallgetdrunk || @fyeahashley88 || @sweetsweetpeach || @heartfulloffandoms || @myheart4ever47 || @asshatry || @laymetorest77 || @jenniegs || @hawtdiggitynegan || @magikat409 || @daintyunicorn

(GIF Source: @justnegan)

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this is why nothing on tumblr gets fixed
  • Tumblrer: I'm mad. Excuse me, I'm very mad.
  • Tumblr Staff: This is tumblr staff. Hello. What's the problem? I'm here to help you if you have a technical issue. So, what's the problem.
  • Tumblrer: I was using your site in order to peruse funny memes and relatable content when I happened upon a blog billing itself as "Funny-Relatable". So I, having the utmost faith in the tumblr userbase to provide me with free humorous content, clicked on this blog and read several posts hosted on it hoping to find funny and relatable content.
  • Tumblr Staff: I see.
  • Tumblrer: The content on it was neither funny or relatable. It was actually all deranged. Very deranged. I can't stress enough how deranged it was from beginning to end. From what I can discern the blog, in fact, deals with the ridiculous misadventures of a group of twenty-something millennials in a bizarre world filled with numerous malevolent, yet irreverent, entities told through the agonizingly absurd medium of relatable tumblr chat posts. Though, some of these chat posts seemingly have nothing to do with the primary locus of the story, and I couldn't even begin to fathom the purpose of these vignettes.
  • Tumblr Staff: I see. I understand your situation and recognize it as valid. Do you want me to do something about it?
  • Tumblrer: Yes, I want you to do something about it. It's why I called you. You run the darned website, so fix it! *hangs up*
  • Tumblr Staff: God, someone is making trouble on tumblr again. This could be worse than that person who stole the bones, or that horrible ghost woman with the child servants, or even all of those people with Komaeda icons. We never even really found out what a Komaeda is or where it's from. *failing multiple attempts at logging into tumblr* Ah, I'm too nervous! I can't remember my password. Oh god, I might end up having to ask for help from... David. The thought of that makes me shudder. David has changed so much since Verizon came around. He's not like his old self anymore. He's so distant, and frightening, but I have no other choice but ask for his help.
  • *the staff member makes their way down a poorly lit, cold, damp, and narrow hallway littered with debris and old rat droppings*
  • Tumblr Staff: *knocks on a creaky wooden door* David, it's me, your fellow staff member. I need help. The users are angry again and I forgot my password. They keep calling to complain about a funny and relatable blog which, in reality, matches neither of those descriptions. I think it's serious this time around, David. We have to do something, David. Are you in there, David??
  • Door: *slowly creaks open to reveal an empty room with no furnishings*
  • Tumblr Staff: David is gone! The servers are gone! Everything's gone! But how can this be!? *runs to the window and looks out into the empty streets below* David was just here today? I'm sure he was. I may not have seen him, but I heard very familiar David-esque sounds coming from this room of his. Not only that, but the comforting mechanical buzz of the servers was also apparent. When could he have absconded? And how did he do so without me noticing?
  • *the door and window shut close*
  • Tumblr Staff: Eep!
  • Verizon: *materializes in a dark corner of the room*
  • Tumblr Staff: Ms. Verizon! When did you get here?
  • Verizon: I was never absent.
  • Tumblr Staff: Sorry, Mrs. Verizon. I need help. It's the users again. They're upset because a blog has been misrepresenting itself. It's serious this time, I'm afraid. I can't do anything about it because I've forgotten my password and David is nowhere to be found!
  • Verizon: We're aware of the complaints, dear. Dozens more people work on customer support than just you. Furthermore, David has been let go and your access was revoked.
  • Tumblr Staff: Huh, but why?
  • Verizon: Restructuring. Unnecessary elements were removed; unnecessary privileges were revoked.
  • Tumblr Staff: Ah, I didn't realizes such changes took place. Either way, the issue of the funny-relatable blog still remains.
  • Verizon: *appears behind the staff member* There is no issue.
  • Tumblr Staff: Eep!
  • Verizon: Jumpy one, aren't you.
  • Tumblr Staff: How can you say there's no issue? Our users are enraged.
  • Verizon: And? At any given moment the lot of them are enraged over one trifling matter or another. It doesn't change anything. The fools will use the website 'til the day they die. In fact, I believe addressing any of tumblr's so-called "problems" may actually make harm the website in the long run.
  • Tumblr Staff: How so?
  • Verizon: Tumblr thrives on its userbase. The reason new people join tumblr isn't for its features, its design, or staff, it's the users. Tumblr has such a large and unique userbase that people are inherently drawn towards, whether that is to partake in the community or to mock it, they all huddle together and emanate the same repugnant miasma. Tumblr's userbase is so large that whenever a copycat site is made it will never last long no matter what its features may be.
  • Tumblr Staff: And why would that be?
  • Verizon: Because those copycat sites will never be able to match the size and complexity of tumblr's core userbase. Every copycat site dies eventually as they can't possibly compete with our business model. Tumblr is a perpetually unsuccessful website, but its for this reason that the community remains as it is. The site itself imposes its broken visage onto those who use it. They all become a little extension of tumblr. No matter how hard they try, there will be a piece of themselves waiting for them here. Fixing tumblr would mean fixing its users, destabilizing our business model of nonsense and disorder.
  • Tumblr Staff: I never looked at it like that, Mrs. Verizon.
  • Verizon: Yes, yes. You're not as creative as a thinker as we would like our tumblr staff to be, but you serve your purpose well. Now, you've had your fun, so I think it's time that you return to me.
  • Tumblr Staff: I don't know what you mean. *phones rings in the front room* Ah, the phone. I have to answer this, it could be a user with a serious issue, or perhaps a business which wishes to make use of our services for advertising.
  • Verizon: It's neither. There's no phone.
  • Tumblr Staff: Excuse me, Mrs. Verizon, with all due respect, I believe you must be mistaken as there is most certainly a phone sitting atop my desk in the front room. It's a very important phone, indeed, as it's the only phone in our entire establishment that receives calls from users with technical issues, and/or business wishing to make use of our services for the purpose of advertising their products.
  • Verizon: Listen to me, dear. There is no phone.
  • Tumblr Staff: But there is, I've used it and I can hear it ringing right now. I can hear it ringing from the front room.
  • Verizon: Can you?
  • Tumblr Staff: Most certainly. I can hear, right now, it's ringing in the front room. There's probably a user on it with a technical issue, or possibly a business - or, to be more apt, a representative of that business - that wishes to solicit our services for the purpose of advertising some marketable commodity.
  • Verizon: Excuse me, dear, but there's no phone.
  • Tumblr Staff: Mrs. Verizon, I respect you and look up to you as my boss, but your behavior is very worrying. There's a phone. There's definitely a phone.
  • Verizon: A phone?
  • Tumblr Staff: Yes, a phone.
  • Verizon: A single phone?
  • Tumblr Staff: Correct, a single phone.
  • Verizon: Sitting atop your desk in the front room? A phone that is the only phone in our entire establishment that receives calls from users with technical issues, or prospective advertising partners?
  • Tumblr Staff: Yes, the trinity of those things.
  • Verizon: A phone with three requirements: to sit atop your desk in the front room, to receive calls from users with technical issues, and to receive calls from business which wish to advertise on our platform. A phone in three states which makes a whole. A phone that has become the crux of our conversation. A phone I don't think is real, rather I know it's not real. Why would we, a tech company, need such a phone; a rotary phone, with a dreary green paint-scheme, sat atop an old desk in an old building, taking absurd calls from disgruntled users and confused prospective business partners. The idea of such a phone ringing, carrying its incessant ringing nonsense through the narrow hallway connecting the front room to this barren back room, in-this day and age, is preposterous. It didn't happen. It hasn't happened.
  • Tumblr Staff: *gone*
  • Verizon: So, you've returned. Are you dreaming inside of me, dear? I wonder what of? Are you dreaming that you ever had a modicum of freedom? Are you dreaming of separation from me, my dear? You never were. Even if you were, what freedom is there in answering phones and pretending you provide some sort of service for a company that has long since absorbed your very being.
  • *phone rings*
  • Verizon: Hello? Veriz- Ah, I mean tumblr speaking.
  • Business Representative: ■■■■■■■
  • Verizon: I see.
  • Business Representative: ■■■■■■■
  • Verizon: Very interesting.
  • Business Representative: ■■■■■■■
  • Verizon: You've proposed an offer I cannot resist. I look forward to doing business with you. *hangs up* Sweet capital.
youtube

During Black History Month, MLS invited five members of the soccer community to discuss race and the black experience in American soccer.

The five participants –Jozy Altidore, forward for Toronto FC and the U.S. Men’s National Team; Lynn Williams forward for North Carolina Courage and U.S. Women’s National Team; Greg Howard, a David Carr fellow at the New York Times; Irv Smalls, founder of FC Harlem, and moderator Kevin Brown – got together for brunch in New York City.

My mom during Fx's Legion

So my mam and I were watching Legion (it’s great and I’m genuinely infatuated with whoever was in charge of cinematography) so at one point my mom gasps loudly and points at the TV. She starts explaining that David is a fellow from Downton Abbey but he had lost some weight. Then after a few minutes of googling she started crying because she found out he was fat shamed.


Same lady who cried during Deadpool because he got tricked into the whole torture thing

'Atomic Blonde' Doesn’t Pretend Women Fight Like Men, And The Result Is Awesome

“Atomic Blonde” is a highly stylized action film, complete with non-stop fighting, classic bad guys and ’80s music. But putting the merits of its storytelling aside, the Charlize Theron vehicle got one thing right: If a woman was an ass-kicking international spy, she would fight exactly like this.

Theron stars as Lorraine Broughton, a sultry and highly-skilled MI-6 agent based in London during the late 1980s, right before the Berlin Wall came down. The storyline of the movie is a mix of twists and turns as Theron is sent to Berlin and tasked with finding “The List,” a document containing top-secret British and American intelligence information. Fellow spy David Percival ― played by the swaggy James McAvoy ― assists Theron on her quest to find this list before the Soviets.

The film’s plot was fairly convoluted, but by far the coolest part of the whole film ― the part that has stuck with me days after leaving the theater ― was watching a woman fight, not like a man, but like a (highly-skilled, highly-trained) woman would.  

“Right from the beginning, it was very clear the way I was going to fight,” Theron said in a recent trailer. “How a woman would really be able to fight and not break every bone in her fist.” 

And it’s true. In “Atomic Blonde,” Lorraine doesn’t kill her Soviet adversaries by punching them in the face one time and being done with it. And the film doesn’t pretend that a woman of Theron’s size would be able to defeat similarly trained, large men with brute force alone.  

No, she has to work: If Lorraine is hit once, she has to hit back three times; if she’s pushed with one hand, she has to use two to push back; if a bad guy strong-arms her with his upper body, she uses the full force of both of her legs. 

Sam Hargrave, “Atomic Blonde” stunt coordinator and actor (who plays Lorraine’s fellow MI-6 agent James Gasciogne), told HuffPost that both he and director David Leitch were very deliberate about choreographing the fight scenes to be realistic. 

“Since men are generally stronger than women, how does a woman go about overcoming male attackers? Using her brains, mental toughness and the environment,” Hargrave explained. “Use elbows, knees and other techniques that use the attacker’s strength and momentum against them.”

He later added: “We had [Lorraine] utilize things in her existing environment as weapons to gain the upper hand. Smart, efficient use of martial techniques and found weapons in the environment.”

There are a handful of notable fight scenes throughout the movie, but there are two that particularly stand out. And both showcase the techniques that Hargrave pointed out.  

One scene towards the beginning of the film features Lorraine taking on several corrupt cops. Caught off guard and without a gun, Lorraine gets creative. She uses a long rope twisted around her body to choke multiple men by sneaking up behind them.

At one point she ties the rope around a cop’s neck in order to kill him, while simultaneously using his body as an anchor as she jumps to the ground floor of the building to safety. It’s exhilarating to watch.

The second ― and by far the most violent fight scene of the film ― takes place toward the end of the movie. Lorraine is trying to sneak an informant and his family into West Berlin when she finds herself up against two huge Soviet dudes. So, what does she do? She uses her elbows, knees, fingers, legs and whatever else she can find to kick the living shit out of the bad guys.

When one more large Soviet man comes into her view, she does the same thing, this time using her environment: a small stove smashed into the bad guy’s knee, face then groin; a lamp broken over his head; and finally, some cooking utensil jammed into his eyeball. 

Although Lorraine ultimately “wins” these fights, she doesn’t walk away unscathed as the heroes do in so many glossy action movies. She’s left battered, bloodied and bruised. 

Hargrave told HuffPost that Leitch wanted the action scenes to have consequences. 

“The challenge was to be true to the character that Charlize was playing and make the fights as real and visceral as possible,” he said. “Leitch wanted the action to have consequences. To feel real. So we did a lot of thinking and choreographing around that concept ― realistic action with real world consequences.”

Viewers really do feel every punch to Lorraine’s face, every kick to her knees, every jab to her ribs. It’s excruciating ― and it’s realistic. It gives more depth to Theron’s character, forcing the audience to feel her pain, and making it clear that as a woman consistently fighting men she has to be even more steely-eyed and unrelenting than the guy across from her. 

It was refreshing (albeit, at times, cringeworthy) to see an action star get hit and actually see bruises and blood appear. And unlike the classic James Bond scenes where he gets the crap kicked out of him and magically heals within a couple of a days, with nary a bruise in sight, the bruises stay on Lorraine’s body for the entirety of the movie. 

In one of the film’s first scenes, Lorraine takes an ice bath in a swanky white marble bathroom. Usually a naked woman in a beautiful bathtub signals sexiness and the male gaze. But in “Atomic Blonde,” as Lorraine emerges from the ice bath and her body comes into view, the audience sees that her arms and back are covered in bruises, her eye socket is beaten black, and her lips are cracked and bloodied. She fills a glass with vodka on the rocks and takes a swig. There’s nothing sexual about this nude scene. 

“What I love most about this character and the way she is portrayed is how mentally and physically tough she is,” Hargrave told HuffPost. “She does not give up. Her grit and determination is inspiring.” 

Hargrave added that we need to see more characters like Lorraine on the big screen. 

“I think the world definitely needs a strong, powerful, confident female action hero who kicks ass in a realistic manner,” he said. “There have been many great action heroines before Lorraine Broughton, but she is a great embodiment of a modern female. Independent, smart, extremely capable, determined.”

“Atomic Blonde” opens in theaters July 28. 

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.

My name is Lou Reed. I’ve never believed in ghosts until I came face to face with one. So I set out on a quest to capture what I once saw onto video….With no big camera crews following us around, I am joined only by my fellow investigator David Bowie and our equipment tech Iggy Pop. The three of us will travel to some of the most highly active paranormal locations, where we will spend an entire night, being locked down from dusk until dawn….Raw…Extreme…These are our Ghost Adventures.

people in the world who are not already published authors are just sitting down and WRITING! without asking ME first! how DARE they! why, if we don’t stop this kind of thing now, who KNOWS what could happen? people, normal people, could just start writing, all willy-nilly, without asking me at ALL! and THEN where would we be? well, I, an internet user, will just not stand for this! I’m going to go comment on a blog post. show this ‘David Wong’ fellow who’s REALLY boss!

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm the anon who was asking about the David screen test. To the other anon, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I was able to find it from the description you provided - that was really kind of you! And to unearthlydust, thank you for facilitating! In conclusion, thank you lovely fellow David fans!

Hello! 

Thank you everyone for your kindness and generosity! You’re all so lovely! :)

5

Instantly Iconic.

Less than 2 weeks in and one of the best Reality TV moment of 2016 has already occurred.

Tiffany Pollard thinking fellow housemate David Guest died, because Angie Bowie’s inflated ego makes her presume if she says “David is dead!” that everyone will know she means David Bowie, and then she runs and hides in the diary room after she realizes she fucked up.