>Sollux: accept your fate to be bound to that jerk 5ever
You’re not sure if you can do that so easily. You troll your BEST FRIEND to ask him for advice.
twinarmageddshfajuiso you know what fuck this we are not doign this WHOLE SCHTICK WITH THE TROLL LOGS AGAIN
TL;D FUCKING R
SOL FLIPS HIS SHIT
KARKAT TELLS HIM TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT
BOTH APOLOGIZE 2 SECS LATER AND ITS ALL GOOD
“ERIDAN IS PREGNANT AND I THINK ITS MINE”
“I DONT KNOWWWWWWWW!!”
>Creator: Cut the snark and just tell us how this shit goes down already! >Sollux: Hijack the crackfic. You can run things way better than Mid can! >Eridan: Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens.
>No fuck you you’re going to tell me all about the hot steamy yaois you made with sol and you’re gonna like it FUCKER.
“gettin reel tired of your bullshit”
“it kind of like just started gettin a little”
“i dont knoww”
“wwe started undressin each other”
“if i used punctuation there wwould be like a million question marks after that im not evven kiddin”
“and gropin each others bodies”
“he fuckin tried to put one of his fingers in one a my gills FUCK NO that shit feels vvery wweird not really good but not bad either its complicated personally noww i knoww i prefer my fins to be played wwith”
“landdwweller bodies feel so bare its kinda strange i mean i wwasnt expectin otherwwise but still theres like nothin to mess around wwith if you knoww wwhat i mean”
“god lookin back wwe wwere so fuckin wwasted its not funny”
“it kinda escalated from there an before i kneww it he wwas in me like literally IN me it wwas vvery strange i wwould havve expected myself to at least try to top but wwhatevver it wwas really fucking hot the wway he wwas moanin an shit”
“fuck i bet my face is like the brightest shade of vviolet oh god”
“it wwas amazin the end”
>You suck at tellin me about your hot yaois. Direct me to a fanfic that does it better. >Eridan: Look in the mirror to see if you’re blushing. >Let the audience have another turn! [Insert command here]
>Person out the window: somehow be your child’s…. mother…. father…. who the fuck knows with seahorses SOMEHOW BE ERIDAN.
You are also now the person out the window. You are also thuroughly confused about what the fuck your child’s (or maybe you will have multiple children the author hasn’t decided yet) father (MOTHER? HOW DOES IT WORK WHEN YOU BOTH ARE MEN AND ONE OF YOU IS APPARENTLY A SEAHORSE? For the record, the writer knows exactly how it works with seahorses but this is a special case and she is legitamently confused and also fuck the motherfucking forth wal sideways with a rake.) was doing strutting around like that.
Fuck, Sol is hot. Just that fact sort of explains a lot.
Oh fuck he noticed you! He glares out the window and closes it.
THIS WON’T MOTHERFUCKIGN DO.
>Eridan: Try to break the window by punching it and see what happens. >Eridan: Teach that fucker a lesson with the buisiness end of Ahab’s Crosshairs. >Eridan: Politely go up to his door through the front of the building. Considering he’s on the top floor that’s a lot of stairs but the amount of fucks you give isn’t even exactly zero, it’s like, absolute zero. -4something fucks in degrees celsius.