davehate

While we’re going on about shitty AUs, how about this. AU where SBURB doesn’t happen and Dirk is raised by Dave, but Crocker Corp and the Condesce is still raising shit. Dave is, of course, spearheading a rebellion against the company but it’s dangerous and difficult work. He hides it from Dirk because, obviously, he doesn’t want his little brother involved. Of course, our Miss Condy doesn’t play by fair rules and just by being related to Dave, Dirk is involved. He’s a weakness. 

Dave’s away when Dirk gets kidnapped, his memories uploaded into a machine and a very advanced android, Unit 9001, is created. He jokingly calls himself Hal and he’s programmed to take Dirk’s place. For awhile he’s programmed to gather as much information on Dave and the rebellion as possible. Get names, and shit. Then he has to take out Dave.

No problem. 

Big problem.

Dave’s nice and caring and all the memories Dirk has of him are enjoyable and that level of love kind of implants itself into Hal’s mind. He’s never had someone show him love and Dave is just full of unconditional emotional bullshit for his little brother. 

Over time, Dave starts growing suspicious, though. He knows Dirk better than anyone and Dirk isn’t acting all that Dirk-like. He decides to challenge Dirk to a “friendly” strife. It’s normal, but he makes sure to pull his punches, to never hurt Dirk but this time to lands a shallow slice. A shallow slice that sparks and doesn’t bleed.

Abruptly, the happy family life Hal was enjoying comes to an end and he finds himself pinned down with a sword at his throat and Dave demanding to know where his brother is.

It would probably start out with Hal being really haughty, like, “You’ll never know,” and threatening Dave or commenting about how Dirk’s torture is going, generally being an asshole but it’s all faked bravado and Dave sees through it pretty quickly. Pulls the, “Why haven’t you killed me yet, then? Or were you starting to care.” Hits the nail on the head and Hal gets really quite and they actually end up talking and Hal admits that he really enjoyed this and how he doesn’t want to go back to the Crocker company. 

It ends with them going to rescue Dirk together and Hal pretty much telling the Condesce to fuck off, he’s hacked his programming away from her control and he’s joining the rebellion.

Fuck off, mom, I like dad better. 

Flips the bird.

Ollies out.

Vip #Flossing We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We Always #HardParked Rocking Them 24k Gold Dipped Rare Vs-Mx #WorkWheels #Dontplaybytherules #Canibeat #DaveHate #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Cambergang #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Teamgoldcrew #Loweredcongress #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate #ImportGram #ScionLife (at Fresh To Death Ave)

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how do i cope with lack of fanwork for my ship?

fanmixes

you may be thinking ‘dirk, is that a cover of britney spears’ toxic that i see??’

yes

[listen]

[cover art]

the only reason you speak is to state that youre mine // why didnt anyone tell me love is like being fucked with a knife? //  its getting late to give you up // we watch the world leave and it doesnt look back // whyd you only call me when youre high? // cause no ones gonna get out alive all the gold on earth wont buy us time // id be alright, if i could just see you

please give me alpha!davehal i need it to survive

#FreshMeet We Sicko Roll Deep And Play Hard Why Because We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Video Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Dontplaybytherules Custom Video Over 15 Secs #Canibeat #Killinthemslowly #DaveHate #Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest  #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate   (at Fresh Meet Summer Bash 2013)

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2

gearing up to draw terezi with some more knightstuck

in this au shes an assassin who’s taken a hit on witch!dave

he’s currently keeping himself alive through the hasty application of protective charms and bribes of red chalk

sometipsygnostalgic:

T1M3 TO F4C3 JUDG3M3NT SMUTTY D3MON!!! ok but how about we not do that WHY WOULD W3 NOT DO TH4T?  COM3 ON 1 GOT MY SWORD 1M R34DY TO K1CK 4SS yeah but come on why are you even doing this its not like im terrorizing some guys grandkids or nothin like OOOOooHHH be careful the SPOOKY WITCH he may even have JPEG ARTIFACTS you dont hear taht in hansel and gretel 4R3 YOU ST4LL1NG M3? L1K3 SOM3 K1ND OF N3M3S1S? no what im SAYIN is heres this piece of chalk that tree over tehre looks like its ripe for vandalism now why dont we draw some dicks on it YOUR BR1B3S W1LL N3V3R WORK ON M3 HOW3V3R YOU 4R3 CORR3CT TH4T TR33 1S CONSP1CUOUSLY  D1CKL3SS 4ND TH1S PROBL3M MUST B3 R3SOLV3D 1MM3D14T3LY hahaha cool right hold on ima get my penknife lets CARVE this bitch up ((WH4TS 4 D1CK)) ((dunno… i hear its a mythical creature that lives in the underwear of humans and survives on eating toilets…))

Yes, this dialogue is perfect.

Unpopular Opinion, Charming

HOW DARE YOU CHARMING? NOT TRUSTING KILLIAN LIKE THAT?!?!

HOW COULD YOU? 

Arthur comes galloping with a crown and a huge side of shade, and you believe in him immediately. TWICE.

But Killian, the man that has proved himself to you over and over, him you don’t even hesitate to doubt? You don’t even give him the time?

He turned his ship back to help your daughter rescue her son

HE SAVED YOUR LIFE IN NEVERLAND DAVE

He helped you in the past to embrace true love.

He died in the AU to save your daughter

HE WAS WILLING TO DIE TO SAVE HER AGAIN.

YOU STABBED HIM, DAVE. YOU STABBED HIM. And no one was controlling you this time.

/end rant. I am SOOOOO hurt by David right now.

Time to Shine #24k Dipped Rare Vs-Mx #WorkWheels Some New Fresh PowderCoat With Gold Flake And New 24k Bolts And Center Caps Done @Lux_MotorWerks Why Because We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Photo Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Dontplaybytherules #Canibeat #DaveHate #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate #ImportGram (at Fresh To Death Ave)

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Damn these #Sciko’s Come Out To Play Hard Why Because #McSlick #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Pix Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Canibeat #Killinthemslowly #DaveHate #Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad # Whipschocolate  (at Regal Commerce Center Stadium 18)

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Spring Time Shot From This Nice Warm Day Just Playing Around With My #Dslr #T4i Why Because #Boutthatlife Know Us#ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No#Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParkedPix Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Canibeat#Killinthemslowly #DaveHate#Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest#Lowerstandards #Hellaflush#DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation#Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB#Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset#Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad#Whipschocolate #Smutlife (at Fresh To Death Ave)

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#Freshmeet Repping All Day Showing Off That #Rare #WorkWheels Shout Out To @Canibeat_Crew For Showing That Love. We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Pix Done By #Canibeat #Killinthemslowly #DaveHate #Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate #Smutlife (at Campbell’s Field)

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