dave-rose

anonymous asked:

What do you think the following kidswaps would be like: Rose Strider, Dave Lalonde, John Harley, and Jade Egbert

So I don’t actually engage with kidswaps a bunch because I don’t really get where most people are coming from with them, but my understanding of kidswaps is:

You take the canon kid but raise them in their surname’s household.

One of the cool things Hussie did with the guardians was that they fit fairly well into the four parenting styles Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful. Quick psychology overview, there are two categories parents usually get defined by, Involvement (also known as support or warmth) and discipline (or demand). Authoritative parents give high support/involvement/warmth, and moderate discipline, which is sort of the ideal parenting, and that fits Dad Egbert pretty well. Authoritarian is low warmth/support/involvement but high discipline/demand, which Bro Strider fits. Permissive is high warmth, but low discipline, which goes well with Mom Lalonde. Neglectful parents are low warmth low discipline, and are often absent entirely, which our unfortunately dead Grandpa Harley was (and from evidence in Hiveswap, probably would have been even if he was alive). Lucky for us Jade had a radioactive dog to raise her in his stead.

So we’ve got a girl like Rose, raised in an authoritarian household, I’m just gonna go ahead and say Bro Strider because I don’t know how guardians usually work in kidswaps. So Bro “I got possessed by a demonic puppet at age 0 and have lived with that thing in my head all my life” Strider is aggressive, unreliable, attacks his kid on a dime, emotionally distant, and emotionally detached. Rose, who is already pretty embittered by her mother in canon, would become someone utterly infuriated with the world. She’d forgo her passive-aggression games in favor of being outright nasty and rude most of the time I’m talking full 90′s cliche delinquent here. Serious behavioral issues, “who’s going to make me” attitude, seizing control by force wherever she can because control is something that’s stripped from her in her home life. Distrustful of other people’s intentions, probably always sees the worst in others, the kind of person who’s just waiting for the other person to prove her right so she can point at them and say “Ha. I knew you weren’t that nice.” without full awareness that she was the one to push them to snapping at her in the first place. REALLY nasty downward spirals of aggression and more aggression and a paranoid survival-based hair-trigger set of reflexes. Probably useful as a Seer of Time, but not good for her well being by any stretch of the imagination.

Then we’ve got Dave, raised in a permissive household by Mom “I drink to forget that the world is about to end and also because I’m lonely and life is hard” Lalonde. On the upside, he’s got a parent who cares about him now, on the other, he’s still a kid who’s gotta grow up too fast, bc his mom isn’t really a mom. She adores him, of course she does, but she’s drunk off her ass eight days a week so Dave’s sorta gotta be his own adult, which doesn’t end well. He probably gets along with her though, thinks he’s got a cool mom when really she’s just an enabler to pretty much anything he wants to do. I’d imagine a Dave Lalonde would end up sorta spoiled, used to not being told no, raised a rich kid, he’s used to being able to get whatever he wants after a little whining and would likely have a bad reaction to being told “no” when he starts out. A well intentioned dude who wants to be soft, but believes he has to be the “mature” one of the group, just listen to him he’s the smart one here. Probably thinks photographing plants and collecting roadkill in jars makes him “cultured” and “refined” and tries to use that as an excuse for why everyone should listen to him. Part of that is just him being used to having to act the adult in his home life though, so it’s natural for him to think that he’s the mature one, the put together one, the one who’s too old for that sort of childish nonsense. Also likely knows he’s pan/bi before the Game even starts tbeh. His quest as Knight of Light would probably involve him mostly just figuring out how to be a kid again, something he’d initially resent, like Rose resents the girlishness of LOLAR in canon, but would warm to eventually as he comes to terms with the fact that he’s not an adult, he’s allowed to be a kid.

Then John, raised in a “neglectful” household as much as having a dead guardian can really raise him, left with First Guardian Bec and the carapacians of Prospit. He’d probably be really starved for attention. Even more of a class clown than he is in canon, but this time only on a deserted island. Just a boy with his dog, and his dream scape to make friends with strange white chess people, whose customs are very much not human customs but ah well. Depression likely sets in a lot sooner for him without a parent around, and it’s easier for him to lock himself away from the world when no one’s even in his world on that lonely little island. Laying in bed all day watching movies and texting his friends and playing online games are less “interests” as much as they are “the only hobbies he has access to AND energy for”, than in his canon timeline. He’s still a boy overflowing with love for his friends, and would probably maintain his goofy disposition, but he’d be lonely and tired and depressed and it would likely be hard for him to work up the energy for his childhood nonsense that we all love and adore so much from canon. Bec, at least, would get him up, because dogs are high-energy pets and need daily exercise, and John would never ever let his dear sweet Bec get affected negatively by his depressed moods. He’s a boy who wants to be in love with life but it’s really, really hard. His quest as the Heir of Space would be something of a spiritual journey, I think. Becoming one with the universe, coming to terms with the good and the bad, the highs and lows the desirable and the ugly, and, by extension, learn to balance his own inner joy and despair. Once he reaches an understanding with that which is whole, he is better able to handle his own cycle of depression, which never really truly leaves him but he is able to handle it, engage with his loved ones while maintaining his own illness.

Jade, raised in an authoritative household by Dad “I love my child more than my own life” Egbert. Probably gonna be the most well adjusted out of all of them, surprising literally no one. Might be a little less punchy than we see in canon, having had a parent to appropriately model reactions to things like annoyance and anger, and probably has less access to rifles than our girl in canon. Still buff as shit tho, that much hasn’t changed. A witty problem solver, someone who’s had the support needed to really help her flourish, added to her own genius self. Has less need for the dreambot, but is still interested in science and furry/wolfkin stuff and her dad is, of course, only supportive (even if he doesn’t really understand the wolfkin/furry stuff, he supports his child and her interests). Wins ever science fair ever held and Dadbert is just standing with a camera beaming in the background. A go-getter and a high-achiever, sharp-tongued and able to use wit and snark and humor in order to win her battles instead of just out-screaming Karkat, regional winner of the Screamer Award (to be fair, that moment in canon was ICONIC). Isn’t necessarily GOOD at rolling with the punches, but is capable of it when she feels inclined. Her quest as a Witch of Breath would probably be something of a spiritual healer for the rest of her group? Someone who can manipulate the Aspect of freedom and in turn give that to her friends and loved ones. Someone for Dave to joke around with and just be a kid with, someone John can look to for support and help him when life is just too heavy, someone Rose can rail against and see that there is indeed still kindness in this world and yeah Jade isn’t perfect, she’s tempermental and a compulsive liar but she’s good and she’s loving and she wants nothing more than for Rose to feel okay again and Rose does indeed want that and wow JadeRose would actually be exceptionally good in this kind of kidswap wow. And in helping her friends, that would be an act of liberation for Jade too, because sometimes “we” is easier than “me” and sometimes “let’s” is more doable than “I’ll” and “I’ll do this for you” is easier than “I’ll do this for myself.”

Anyway I got super long winded there but here are my Thoughts tell me what you think.

How the beta kids met

Jade on yahoo answers: Is it normal to not have a belly button??????
Hi I’m 7 and I dont live around a lot of people so I wanted to know, is it normal that I dont have one??????

Dave: thats a fucking stupid question of course no one has belly buttons thats just a lie that the Big Media pushes to make us all feel bad about ourselves

John: I guess its not TOO weird!!!!! I’m the same age and I don’t have one either :B

Rose: Hello, I’m a doctor and this is a sign of a terrible illness. Sad to say it but you are all going to die by age 10. There is no hope for you now. God Bless your young soul.

Ugh, so, first off… sorry for dropping off the face of the earth and not responding to any asks. Without going into too much detail, it’s been a rough last three months and I’ve been wrestling with physical and mental health Challenges. I’m going to have to reopen commissions out of necessity, but not until I stretch my art muscles a little. So, to get the inspiration flowing, I’m revisiting my favorite indulgence.

youtube

this will FOREVER be my fave homestuck animatic