dave strider headcannon

FACTS ABOUT DAVE STRIDER

-loves make up

-dorky laugh

-snots a lot (when laughing)

-wheeze

-loveable???

-i n s e c u r e

-what even is gender identity???????

-r e d

-bless the memes

-ironic??? maybe???

- has one of those middle schooler “i love boobies” bracelets as a j o k e 

-bless

-quotes memes often

-is completely awkward

-WHAT???? IS??? FLIRTING???

-ARE THEY FLIRTING WITH ME O H G O D W H A T D O 

-s h i t t h e y r e c ut e

-gets crushed often but NEVER acts on em

-b l e s s 

-squishable face but nobody ever squishes

-someone squish the child

-bless, the cape is a blanket

-actually runs a tumblr blog not even ironically

-every other post is promo-ing SBAHJ

-this kid actually is really into graphic design

-can ACTUALLY DRAW (just doesnt want people to know because lo r d idk)

-bless- religiously cleans the shades every night before the sleeps

-is actually really gay

-says that but is actually bi???

-maybe the child is pan

-we may never know

-cause; just has s o m u c h l o v e i n s i d e that it cannot be confined to one singular gender

-bless the oversized sweaters

-kid owns over 40 sweaters and wears them a l l 

-has like 10 tee shirts

-2 long sleeves

-SO MUCH RATHER PREFERS SWEATERS

-actually owns dorky christmas sweaters “for the irony”

-plays the ukelele “for the aesthetic”

-also plays guitar

-this kid actually can sing and like well

-raps because irony

-is actually emotional and shows that shit

-p u n s 

-makes cover singing/rapping videos but under a different username and with a completely different email so nobody knows who it is and like lyric videos so nobody ever sees the face

-notice i am completely avoiding pronouns?

-that is for a reason

-this kid loves cats so much but never got one

-probably allergic

-also when kid was little, wanted birb- then was assaulted by birbs and gave that right the fuck up

-too many birbs

-DOODLER

-wears 80 dresses???

-jk just dresses in that style

-but like

-comfy sweaters too

-some days its 80s

-others its “im dead inside and yes i do spend all my time on tumblr bye”

-constant ink smudges on his hands

-LEFT. HANDED.

-or ambidextrous 

-either one tbh

-hasnt checked emails in 100 years

-but CONSTANTLY checks tumblr messages looking for mutuals

-starved for mutuals

-is actually sad all the time but is happy enough with friends/mutuals that it makes up for it

-legs. for. days.

-bless the red beanie

- that is how people find dave

-the red beanie

-earbuds are glued permanently to ears

-dont talk to the kid when there are earbuds

- this literally means dont talk to dave

-yes i am purposely avoiding davekat in this atm because i want people to all be able to appreciate dave strider and everything the kid is

-the same goes for davejohn

-like- feel free to add your own

-but i dont want to make anyone uncomfy

I Just kinda realized this… 

Before John, Dave, Rose and Jade entered the game, They had a whole life. They had other friends, and family members, and people that would bully them, or make fun of them.

Imagine Johns dorky little friend, like little Timmy Buckets, who plays Dungeons and Dragons every weekend with John, good old Jack Conners, the schools most brightest kid who has a perfect 4.0 and has anxiety, Briana Miller, who gets bullied for being gay, David Adams, who never talks to anyone, but can draw anything, Mike Peters, the blind kid that can speak French, German, and Japanese, and can write the most amazing stories, and they’re all best friends, and do everything together, like going to the mall, and having sleepovers at each others houses, and telling everything to each other.

Imagine Dave being the most popular and popular kid at his school, but  is very unconfident when it comes to his eye color, and gets made fun of by his friends for liking dorky shows and for his eye color, calling him a freak. Then he finally leaves them and starts to hang out with other nerds, and they gladly accept him, and they become very good friends really quickly. Then one of his new friends tells the school that he was bullied by all of his old friends, and his bro finds out and has him home schooled, but Dave always hangs out with his friends on the weekends and cosplays and watches Doctor Who episodes for hours at a time and talk about their headcannons, and ships, and so on. 

Imagine Rose being a perfect straight A student that could finish a whole book in a day. She has her group of friends that are complete potterheads, and have read all the books and seen all the movies, and they have a book club, and talk about Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings, and discuss their theories behind things, and talk about their ships, and favorite characters, and how they have changed since the beginning of the story, and then afterwards, go over to Roses house for sleepovers and talk about life, and depression, and then they all cry, and then watch shitty romcoms to feel better and eat ice cream and cake and junk food, and then fall asleep all snuggled up together.

And now all of those friends that they had are gone.

And Imagine Jade.. Who’s all alone on an island with her dead grandfather and her dog… and she only has John, Dave, and Rose to talk to.

Strilondes

I’m pretty sure Dave and Rose would be those siblings that get mistaken as a couple like all the time. And they totally use that as a way to mess with people.

Just this like… dastardly duo of ultimate mind frik. Plus, with similar haircuts, they often play the parent trap switcharoo. Always switching places and stuff and stealing each other’s clothes. Or Dave can be at a store and Rose can text him like, “Can you go try such and such on for me? I don’t feel like going out today.” And Rose does the same for him, he saves every pic of her in the snapbacks he has her try on. She has his spare set of shades always handy. They are just super tight and sassy to the max as a team of ultimate headache and strife for the school staff and sometimes for thier family. Their friends are used to it by now and John feels pretty proud of himself that he can tell the difference brtween the two. Tho he’s kissed both Dave and Rose at somepoint but nbd. The first time it happened he totally freaked out and it was freaking hilarious. (Feel free to write this anyone, cuz I sure want to)

And god forbid they wage war on each other, because the fate of the world could burn up from all of the passive-aggressive snark. And if you get on their bad side, BOTH OF THEM, you are so incredibly screwed.

In honor of Dave’s and Dirk’s birthday, these are three things that they do and don’t want anyone to know

Dave:

1) If there’s any puppets/dolls/plushes in the room when he is getting dressed, he makes them face the other way for privacy

2) He shaves his legs in the winter because he likes how it feels when his smooth legs rub on his pants legs

3) One time in art class, he didn’t like that the teacher was making all the kids draw skyscrapers, so he made all the buildings shaped like massive dildos

Dirk:

1) Used to have a crush on Augustus Waters, and The Fault in Our Stars was his favorite book until he was 13

2) He started playing mini-golf ironically, but now he genuinely enjoys it an uses it to calm down

3) For a long time, he had headaches from lack of sleep, and then with the help of WedMD he concluded he had a terminal illness and made Roxy write his will for him

I was listening to A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton and I could imagine Karkat being totally in love with that song but Dave thinking its kinda cheesy but in a cute way so for valentines day or for a way to tell him he likes him Dave would make a remix/cover video of him singing it kinda like this one and send it to Karkat and holy jeez that would be so freaking adorable Karkat would be like blushing so hard he’d hide his face in his hands and watch it through the space between his fingers as Dave bops his head and tries to hold back a smile as hes singing it.

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file this under things that give me life