dave rose

Anonymous said: So, for all the humans in homestuck, what kind of sneezes do they have, and how do they act about sneezing? Sorry if this has already been asked! 

This is my favourite ask ever. Sorry for the wait (as usual)! <3

John – his sneeze is probably pretty unremarkable before entering the game. When he’s sick or bothered by allergies they’ll sound pretty helpless and wet, but he’s used to that. He’s pretty good about sneeze etiquette and usually sneezes into his elbow (unless he’s too sick to care), like his dad taught him. After going god-tier, his sneezes are affected by his breath power and are often huge, but he manages to get that mostly under control after a while.

Rose – probably likes other peoples’ sneezes a whole lot, but isn’t a fan of her own. Rose prefers to not sneeze in front of people, but when she can’t avoid it, her sneezes are super small and polite. They’re not cute-squeaky-tiny-kitten sneezes, but they’re neat and sometimes barely audible. In front of close friends and significant others, she’ll allow herself to be a little messier. People who don’t know her as well probably assume she never sneezes at all.

Dave – I can never quite make up my mind about how Dave sneezes, but I always think he’d be kind of self-conscious about it. He probably stifles and often will just hold sneezes in, giving himself a headache in the process. His sneezes often end up being more dramatic than he’d like, since he tries to hold them in until he can’t. Luckily his friends find this endearing, and tell him not to be ashamed of it.

Jade – thanks to never really being taught the correct sneeze protocol, Jade sometimes has to be reminded to cover up. She also never makes much of an effort to control her sneezes, and usually lets herself be snapped over at the waist (with much whipping of hair everywhere). Her sneezes usually manage to be big and unrestrained, but cute at the same time. Kind of high-pitched, too.

Jane – Like Rose, Jane makes a conscious effort to sneeze politely. She’s sort of embarrassed by the way her sneeze sounds naturally – kind of rough and big and unladylike. She’ll stifle them so that they just come out in a sort of squeak (but always tells her friends not to stifle because, as the mom-friend, she can’t allow them to give themselves a headache), or sneeze into a tissue or something so she can pinch her nose practically shut to make it quieter.

Jake – Keeping in with his gentlemanly ways, Jake totally sneezes as dignifiedly as possible. He especially does this in front of people he likes or is trying to impress, and if he’s sick and feels the need to sneeze a lot, he’ll usually try and leave the room to do it in private. He probably makes the most helpless pre-sneeze face, with much nose-twitching and forehead-scrunching, and the other Alpha kids all find it perplexingly attractive.

Roxy – Roxy has a sneeze that is effortlessly perfect and dainty (Jane is a little jealous of it). She doesn’t see sneezing as something to be ashamed of and doesn’t feel shy doing it in front of people. For someone who grew up in isolation, she’s actually still pretty good with sneeze etiquette and usually remembers to cover her mouth, but tends to keep sniffling for a long time until someone tells her to blow her nose.

Dirk – Dirk would be like Dave, but worse. He hates people feeling sorry for him or worrying about him, so he’ll stubbornly hold back most sneezes until he can’t, or until someone forces him to stop (pinning him down and tickling his nose, maybe?). He’s not used to having to sneeze much, seeing as his apartment in the middle of the ocean was pretty much free of allergens and he was safe from most illnesses, so entering the game is a huge shock to his system. It’s probably a while before he realises that sneezing isn’t as gross as he thinks it is, and that no one minds if he’s snotty.

Macchiato With a Side of Romance

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1Ep2gYS

by Nanikinns

People say you find love when you least expect it. Karkat Vantas, employee of Doc’s Coffee Shop, discovers this during one unlucky shift involving an insufferable prick and a storm.

Words: 767, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1Ep2gYS