dauntness

how did this happen?
running because I hate myself.
sucking in my stomach until I see ribs to try and pretend I’m 20 pounds lighter than I am.
feeling wave and wave again of disappointment and frustration crash over me as I face the daunting task of looking in the mirror.
I have a boy on the phone telling me I’m beautiful but those petty words mean nothing when they aren’t coming from my own mouth.
at the end of the day, the only approval I’ve been searching for is my own and my stubborn lips won’t let it escape.
—  self acceptance is hard

felthier asked:

I know you've mentioned writing for publication before. Do you have any exercises or disciplines that help you write? Is there a certain time of day that works best for you?

Not really anything that I do anymore. My two best pieces of advice when it comes to writing are these: write when you want to, but don’t let yourself write ahead of where you are. Sometimes we build up great stories in our head and when we get to writing it it becomes daunting. I used to write every day for an hour or more.

The other is probably to write as you do things mentally. Jogging is a great time to describe a scene in your mind or while reading another book.

Opening the Door

‘The commitment to take care of one another is often described as a vow to invite all sentient beings to be our guest. The prospect can be daunting. It means that everyone will be coming to our house. It means opening our doors to everyone, not just to the people we like or the ones who smell good or the one’s we consider “proper” but also to the violent ones and the confused ones - to people of all shapes, sizes, and colors, to people with all different points of view. Making the second commitment means holding a diversity party in our living room, all day every day, until the end of time.

Initially, most of us are in no way ready to commit to all that - we are in no way ready to leap into that much groundlessness without reservation. But if we have a longing to alleviate suffering, what can we do? For one thing, we can invite everybody and open the door to all, but open the door only briefly at first. We open it only for as long as we’re currently able to give ourselves permission to close it when we become too uncomfortable. However, our aspiration is always to open the door again and to keep it open for a few seconds longer than the time before.

When we practice this way, the results may be surprising. in opening the door gradually, not trying to throw it open all at once, we get used to the shaky feeling we experience when people can’t quite handle start coming to the party. I have to open the door completely or I’m not doing it right, we start with the strong intention to keep opening that door, and bit by bit, we tap into a reservoir of inner strength and courage that we never knew we had.

Opening the door reflects our intention to remove our armor, to take off our mask, to face our fears. It is only to the degree that we become willing to face our own feelings that we can really help others. So we make a commitment that for the rest of our lives, we’ll train in freeing ourselves from the tyranny of our own reactivity, our own survival mechanisms, our own propensities to be hooked.’

- Pema Chodron, Living Beautifully with Uncertainly and Change.

anonymous asked:

Salam! How do I keep gaining Islamic knowledge consistently? I'm in college and I wish there was some Islamic knowledge gaining routine that would help me progress everyday. Thanks!!

Wa laykum assalaam. 

Ill keep my response concise and simple, Inshaa allah. 

1. Time Management - Mould 30minutes a day or as little or much as you want around your daily schedule. 

2. Keep it simple - Try to narrow and channel your learning to a specific area or topic for instance: today i am going to study Quran, wednesday Fiqh, Thursday Aqeedah etc etc. This makes the challenge less daunting and more achievable. 

3. Dua to Allah SWT - Keep on making dua to Allah SWT to help you achieve this This is vital for the believer in every aspect of his/her life. Subsequently, it is important you keep on making duaa to Allah that He helps you to seek knowledge, understand it correctly, retain that knowledge (whether you have a weak memory or not) as well as make the path of knowledge easy for you. This will be significant as without the help and will of Allah you will not be able to achieve anything. 

Keep it to the Sunnah with these 3 Points, insha allah and i hope this can help and jazak allah khayr.. i feel this will help me also insha allah. 

Barak allahu feek. 

Little drabble where Jasper gets a bodyguard! Based off Ophelia getting one so I thought why not give Jasper one too right?

-

This was…weird. Actually, weird was an understatement because he, Jasper Frost now had a security detail. He knew all the protocols, how to handle disturbances it had been his job after all yet here he was with a bodyguard.

He was more than prepared to defend himself and Eleanor but he knew it was integrated into the system that since he was the boyfriend of the Princess he ‘had’ to be protected.

It had annoyed him at first but after Eleanor bribed him with sweet kisses and lingerie he gave in. That was until he found out that Hagrid had been assigned to him and Eleanor had laughed. He’s beginning to think she had something to do with it.

The daunting presence of Hagrid did make him a little nervous with him being a monstrous height though he never voiced that.

The fact that it seemed as though he had no more privacy and was being watched at every second made him uncomfortable. He was use to being mysterious and unseen but now someone was always watching him.

But as he looked at the smiling Princess - his Princess - he realized that the bodyguards didn’t matter, being watched at all times was worth it if it mean’t he could be with her.

Eleanor looked up and noticed the dreamy look Jasper held on his face as he looked at her. She smirked and went to him, “enjoying the view?”

He pulled her into arms and Eleanor let out a little gasp of surprise as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Very much so”, he said before placing his lips on hers.

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Finished fullbody piece for Tywyll’ra Stumog, Thank you!! 

I’ve said it before that FFXIV armor is absolutely gorgeous to look at, but when I get to drawing– it can be a little daunting to know where to start.  It’s great when it starts falling into place and I get to chillax to some tunes and painting shiny metal and flowy clothes. *U*


For my commissions, I offer a few different poses in sketches, and work from there if something strikes the character’s owner.  With that, works like this have quite a few WIPs and sketches, which I plan to have for download on my [Patreon]!  This will be for entertainment and educational purposes only! 


I am currently free for Commission slots too! You can check out all the information by following this link!

anonymous asked:

why can't you pick up your room quick? just organize your laundry from clean and dirty and put all dishes and trash by the door so you can take it down in the morning. xoxox

you see, i know you (probably) mean well, but this is where people always go wrong when it comes to mental illness.

it’s not that i don’t want to clean my room, i actually can’t. often no matter how badly i want to do something seemingly easy, i can’t accomplish it. things that are easy and effortless for mentally healthy people are incredibly difficult, daunting tasks for the mentally ill.

some days i am stable enough to where i can do it, some days i do nothing but clean, some days i can’t get up out of bed to take a shower much less clean, and some days looking at two dirty dishes and a pile of clothes gives me a panic attack.

so anon, i know this was probably supposed to be encouraging, but more often than not, no matter how much we want to, mentally ill people can’t “just do it”.

daunt asked:

Prompt 1, Scott/Stiles, making bad jokes and ugly laughing - SO CUTE ilu bb

Scott and Stiles have known each other for years. Over those years there have been numerous sleepovers, too many if you asked their parents. But when college rolls around and the inseparable duo ends up choosing universities that are an hour away from each other, surprising everyone they know, sleepovers become their time to catch up. Of course they visit one another when they can, but that doesn’t really allow enough time for them to be together in the way they want.

“Dude, are you coming or what?”

“I am literally ten minutes away, Scott. I know you can’t wait to see my handsome face again but calm down,“ Stiles teases.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m rushing you because I miss your dumb freckled face not because you’ve taken an hour to get here.” 

“Scotty, you know it’s Thanksgiving break, traffic is not fun and my bony ass hurts from sitting in this jeep for so long. I’m sacrificing my butt for you, dude.”

Keep reading

Hamato Movie Night!
Most likely they’re watching a Space Heroes movie (after a long lecture from Leo as to why it would be the greatest movie ever), so you’ve got Leo trying to show his bae his favorite series while in actuality he’s just super invested in watching, and Karai’s just wanting to make him happy, Donnie’s trying to be all smooth and Casey’s having none of it, Raph thinks it’s all ridiculous, April and Mikey are legit trying to watch, and Splinter’s just thankful to have 7 great kids.

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I’m not sure if you all have seen these, but our amazingly talented friends daunt, kreugan, and wendigo created these super gorgeous mini prints for some of our Indiegogo backers and we were left absolutely speechless! 

We can’t thank them (and you all) enough for the support these past two years! It’s been an incredible ride so far and we couldn’t have done it without you!

Belle Gunness was a Norwegian serial killer. Towering at a daunting height of six feet and weighting over 200 pounds, she was by far the most physically strong females in serial killer history. In 1877, Belle attended a country dance while pregnant, where she was attacked by a man who kicked her in the abdomen which caused her to miscarry the child. The man was able to escape prosecution, having came from a rich family. From there, Belle’s personality changed markedly as she developed an intense hatred for men.

Over the course several decades, Belle would murder all her suitors and boyfriends, as well as her two younger daughters. Her apparent motives involved financial gain and eliminating witnesses. First she would lure men into her house by wielding her charm over them, making sure to drug their coffee. She would then split their head with a meat chopper, dissect their bodies, and dumped them in the hog pen.

In 1908, Belle lured a women she’d met in Chicago on the pretense of hiring her as a housekeeper. According to Belle’s husband, she drugged her, then bashed her head and decapitated her, throwing the head, which had heavy weights tied to it, in a swamp. Then Belle smothered her children to death, and dragged their bodies, along with the headless corpse, to the basement. She dressed the corpse in her own clothing and placed her false teeth next to it. Afterward, Belle torched the house and fled. Belle was never caught, and by then, she had already taken the lives of 40+ people.

Unsolicited Advice

I get certain variations of this question a lot. “How do I become an editorial photographer?”. It is definitely not a stupid question. I’m sure I asked it. I think one of the reasons lots of photographers blow younger photographs off when they get asked it is because there are no outlines or simple answers. Everybody I know has done it differently. There might be similarities but you have to make your own way. 

On the surface, that can be incredibly daunting. We all want somebody to say “this is the way I did it and if you do x y and z, it will work for you too”. The beauty of working in this kind of field is that you get to invent your x y and z. Nobody can tell you how or why or what you should be doing. If you do it long enough and you do it well (really really well), it will probably eventually work. Photography is a creative pursuit, so shouldn’t the business of it also be creative? Yes, sending invoices and making spreadsheets is not creative but everything else is totally up to interpretation. 

That being said, there are a couple things that I think do hold true across the editorial spectrum. My experience is specifically with being an editorial photographer so I don’t know the art world or the commercial world super well.


Spend money on projects, not gear.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: People don’t hire you because you have nice gear, people hire you because you have a specific voice and vision. At least that is why they should be hiring you. That is why you want them to hire you. Sure, you can be some jack of all trades with a bunch of nice shit that gets hired to shoot boring stuff because you are a technically capable photographer who is malleable enough to fit the needs of whatever current person is hiring you, orrrr you can find a way to develop a voice and vision that cause people to hire you to do THAT thing. Photographers are the worst when it comes to gear. I do it to. We get in a slump and start looking at cameras on ebay. I do think switching formats can occasionally provide a fresh perspective but ultimately we are usually trying to solve a creative problem with non creative technical instruments. I’ve found that being limited is usually a better solution than having limitless options available. I have a lot of crap now (that I probably don’t use) but when I was starting out, I owned one camera body and one lens. Owning a 5dmk18 and an armada of L glass isn’t going to get you hired, a good portfolio is. 

Shooting projects is expensive. If you believe in your art, invest in it. It may look crazy to the people in your life when you spend 5 grand on a project but if you aren’t doing it, what are you really in this for? Working for magazines is cool but if you had to work in a coffee shop the rest of your life would you still shoot projects in your spare time? If the answer is no, you should probably just quit now. 

Go shoot photos. Nobody will hire you otherwise. Stop wasting time thinking about your next fancy promo mailer and go shoot photos. (this is a reminder to myself as well). 

Build a strong creative community.

You can’t exist creatively in a vacuum. Without a strong community of creative friends you probably wont ever progress. If I didn’t have people to tell me something sucked and push me harder, I would never be where I am currently. We sleep on each others couches, we edit each others projects, we collaborate, we share contacts, we talk about tax law, we drink beers and we make each other better. Finding people in real life in our increasingly fragmented society is not super easy but it can be done. Reach out to people you “know” from social media in real life. Send emails. Talk on the phone. Visit each other. Champion other people’s work. Invest. Find friends who make you better. People who are doing stuff. Not people who talk about doing stuff. Avoid negativity and jealousy like the plague. There is enough rejection and weirdness in this industry without photographers being dicks to one another. 


Go to NYC and show your work. 

This one sounds daunting but is really not as hard as you’d think. I’m from a smallish town in West Texas so the idea of lugging my portfolio up to the 42 floor of some building in midtown at a fancy magazine scared me shitless. Once you do it a few times, you realize that the editors at these magazines are (mostly) normal people who are always looking for young photography talent. 

I’m not going to go into the specifics of this because my friend Jake Stangel already wrote the book on it. Go to school. 

Repeat all these steps until you make it or starve and move back in with your parents. Good luck!

anonymous asked:

Just wondering cause I've been thinking lately that I might be somewhere on the ace spectrum-how did you realize you were ace, if you don't mind me asking?

hey! that’s a very subjective (but interesting!) question, and this might get a bit long winded but i’ll do my best to explain how it was for me c:

Trying to fit into the regular mold most of society slotted into just gave me horrendous bouts of anxiety and made me lose a lot of sleep while growing up. It also meant I’d go into overdrive in relationships, trying to make up for whatever it was I was so inherently lacking. Safe to say that was a bad move and it only ever lead to bad outcomes ;;;;

Essentially: it took a whole lot of sitting down and brooding, along with seeking out some help/advice from friends somewhere on that area of the spectrum as well. After discussing some things about patterns/ways I was attracted (or in this case, lacked attraction) to people, and compared it to how some of my friends felt, I found a bunch of similarities and went from there.

One thing I’d always noticed was: when it came to affectionate gestures/intimacy IRL, I would be struck down by a wave of dread. Not just oh I’m nervous what if blah blah blah nerves, but oh my god I don't wanna do this I just want to be friends why cant I hold their hand in a FRIEND way and be close to them PLATONICALLY without them assuming I want in their pants or to make out with them. 

For the longest time i associated with being demisexual/romantic but even then I still didn’t tend to develop any feelings past platonic intimacy. I’d had squishes on and off, but if somebody approached me with the offer of a relationship that went further and was more involved, I’d panic because oh no what will I do, how can I backtrack, they’ll figure out that I’m faulty if they try to be close to me in THAT way, I don’t react/want the same things most people do, crap. 

my other issue was: I’m very close and hands-on with my friends. I like being close to people, I enjoy company, and I can be affectionate. It’s just always on friendly grounds, and less on “I need cuddles w/ my partner ASAP i need intimacy/their body against mine”. So I’d ask: why can I be so close and comfy with my friends, but if it’s a relationship, I tense up and spook?

Eventually, I tumbled into the idea that maybe I was gray-romantic. After that, and some extra help from friends who had been in similar situations, I settled on being somewhere between gray and aro, but found it easier to say I was aromantic instead of having to explain how rarely I experience romantic attraction. Same goes for the sexual aspect ;;; (also please PLEASE never think that because you enjoy reading romance or smut, it means you have to actively want it IRL, I’ve been told that so many times and it’s not true)

what’s really important is having people around who are patient, understanding and willing to work within your comfort zone. If you’re clear about what you’re up for/comfortable with, the other person should be respectful and understand.

Maybe you’ll find somebody who you’re willing to explore things with; or feel comfortable engaging with sexually/romantically (again, important to discuss with them what you’re up for and what your boundaries/limits are). Or maybe you’ll be happy in a QP relationship. OR you may have squishes  and that’s as far as your desire to be close to somebody goes. All of those feelings are valid and absolutely okay to have! 

All that matters is being clear with the person(s) involved and not being ashamed of who you are. Don’t force yourself to feel things that aren’t there, or to participate in things like sex or romance if it does nothing for you and only serves to make you uncomfortable simply because it’s expected of you. Love is a very broad term and it can carry many meanings and whatever you have toward friends and cherished ones is just as valid as anybody else.