The First Jump

I guess its time for me to make my first post. Being asked out by john was the scariest moment of my life. I knew he had a two year old daughter. Saying yes to being Johns girlfriend meant saying yes to possibly being in this child’s life. As a 19 year old girl just finishing up her first year of college that is taking on a lot. I knew that as scared as I was it was worth the jump. John was the sweetest guy I had ever met. I considered myself so lucky he would want to be with me, as scared as I was. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I said No. The first week or so was amazing. I hate to say love at first sight. But the feelings developed strongly. Neither of us had a good track record with relationship. To find someone who became my boyfriend and then become my best friend was amazing. I struggled with suicide my whole life. I had numerous attempts. To find someone who loved me for all my flaws and listen to me about them was amazing. We didn’t get to have long of a “honeymoon” stage. A week into the relationship my best friend in the world relapsed. He struggled but lost the battle. John had been dating me for a short amount of time and now had to deal with me as my whole world fell apart. He had to hold me in his arms as my best friends plug was being pulled. He had to comfort me when I would break down at work. Any sane person would have left right then and there. But he stayed and got me through the hardest thing I have ever had to face. Shortly after that all the stress got to me. I then became sick, he would get out of work at 11 and bring me my favorite soup from work every night. He nursed me back to health. I know its strange we developed such strong feelings so fast. But the circumstances we had to face were severe and if we could get through them we could get through anything.


One hot steamy cup of Ginger Barista

I was going to do it!  I was going to tell him that I really liked his smile.  I got up early and flat ironed my hair.  I put on the cutest outfit that I own that was work appropriate.  I had my makeup all done fresh and cute.   I had the confidence today!  I was going to be unstoppable!

It’s funny how you can learn life lessons from kids.  Sometimes what kids say is pure gold!  I’m serious!  Talk to a kid sometime.  It could change your life!  I was over at my sister’s house chillin’ with my niece and my 13-year-old nephew comes into the bedroom.  We were telling him that when he gets a girlfriend that he shouldn’t flirt with other girls.  He said, “I don’t!  I just compliment them.”  Suffice to say, my niece didn’t like that answer.  But that answer literally changed my life last night.  It took almost a week to set in because my brain is old but it changed my life.  It’s just a compliment.  It’s… just… a… compliment!  I was only going to compliment him on his amazing smile!!  No harm! No foul!  This is great!!

I’m walking out the door with the new found confidence because of a sentence my teenage nephew said and I get to the coffee place……. HE’S WORKING THE OTHER WINDOW!!!  COME ON!!!!  Ah, well.  I’m not going to waste the cute.  I’m going to be walking around the office sprinkling the cute everywhere today.

Battleshots and a Belgian

My brother in law wants to set me up with a Belgian accountant at his work.  I’m pretty excited about this because he says that he’s kind of awkward and he tells these amazing Belgian jokes that no one in America gets.  But the B-I-L is guessing that they are HILarious in Belgium.  This very much intrigues me. 

I’m not sure if you all know that I am a SUCKER for dorky awkward guys.  But they have to be just the right amount of dorky and awkward.  I don’t want them to be so weird and socially inexperienced that it’s embarrassing.  I just want a healthy dash of dork and just a pinch of socially awkward.  It’s a precise recipe that only I know how it should taste. 

He’s nice looking AKA he’s got some nice arms and I really dig his name.  We shall see.  The B-I-L is going to have him over for battleshots. Look that up if you don’t know about it.

Hi!!!! *enthusiastically waves*

I have not updated my blog in a minute.  And I have a lot to say.  So I’m going to be posting in sections because I feel people really don’t read as much if it’s one huge big ole blog.  You’re welcome!

As you may have seen in my previous picture, creepy dad strikes back!  I wish he wasn’t so creepy because he is so good looking.  If you’re creepy, you should be creepy looking.  That should be a rule!  It just should be.  I did not answer is misspelled message.  1.) Because I am not sure what gorgteous means. And 2.) He’s creepy.

I also was taken aback by a dude whose username is TonyStark(and some random numbers here).  My little geek heart skipped a beat!!  I was like yes!!  Tony Stark!! YES!!  And then I read his message. “I don’t mean to offend but I like dat ass!” *sigh* Disappointment ensues.  When he didn’t get a reply back he wrote, “I don’t bite.”  Well, honey, I ain’t bitin’.  Run along.

I’ve also added to my madness.  I guess I wasn’t getting enough material to write on about POF.  So I’m getting these winks.  I looked at one and he’s 65 years old.  SAY WHUT??  What am I gonna do with that?  Apparently the consensus is to marry him, have sex with him til has a heart attack and claim the insurance money.  He’s 65.  Not 95.  I’m thinking he wouldn’t be able to kill of that easily.  Plus, I would want to have sex with him to make that happen.

I got another wink and he was a guy that I saw on POF.  I was like cool.  I’ll just look him up on POF and message him for free.  Didn’t get a reply back.  See this is why I find the system flawed on both sites.  You say you want to meet me or you wink at me.  But you don’t send a reply back when I message you.  What is up with that??  Losers.

Every time I get on these sites, it makes me appreciate the fake imaginary relationship I’m having with Tom Hiddleston.  He’s just such a darling.  I may never break up with him if this is what I’m going to be subject to.


So, I know I haven’t been actively looking. 

But sometimes there are days when I get that whole girly idea of having a strong Prince Charming by my side and I start to feel lonely.  This means…. I go scrolling.

This recent crop of singles were not looking good.  So I keep scrolling.  Maybe a fresh crop will arrive after 20 clicks or 30 clicks or 45…. maybe?  Click 57 is when the crops start lookin’ better.  I’m not one for guys posting shirtless pics to score dates but this one guy.  Hoooo boy.  Yes.  Momma like.   So I start clicking the Meet Me button.  Maybe not such a good idea.

I get a message from a guy.  I remember the picture but I don’t remember clicking the meet me button because his profile was virtually blank.  So why did I click meet me??? I know nothing about this guy or any made up attributes like “drama hater” and “not a game player”.  How could have been so careless and click MEET ME???

His message started out as “Hi Sweetie."  This is how my brain processes messages like this:

"You don’t know me.  Why am I your sweetie???  You have a disease and you don’t care who you give it to. Don’t you??  No! Wait!  NO!  You’re a serial killer that preys on young easy women that have low self esteem and even lower standards!!  AAAAH!!! GET AWAY!!”

My brain is messed up, people.  It may need help.

And this is why I hate dating from an online dating site.

The Kissing Cousins Avoidance

I just started talking to a guy that looks awfully familiar and his name is Bobby. There are a ton of Bobbys in my family. I have lately developed a fear of flirting with a cousin that I’ve never met. He seems nice and all. So today I sent him a message listing my family’s surnames. I asked him he was related to anyone with these last names. I haven’t heard back from him. Maybe that was a weird question. Hmmm…

I have been talking to another guy. He’s a cutie that loves gaming. I know it’s probably not hard to find a single gamer but to find one that’s cute. Well, that can be a rare find. We haven’t exchanged numbers or set a time to meet up yet. On his profile, he says that he wants to be friends first. So I don’t know what to do. I love the whole friends first aspect. But my neurotic self starts asking questions to myself like “Should ask him to get some coffee?” or “Should I give him my phone number?” “Do I wait for him to ask these things first?” He is very nice to talk to. Maybe I should stop overthinking and ask him to grab a coffee.