dating status

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Some of you had questions about bi- or pansexuality, so here’s a quick FAQ! 

“What’s the difference between bi and pan?” 

Bi means “attracted to two or more genders”. 

Pan means “attracted to all genders or regardless of gender”. 

“Those definitions are a bit confusing to me!”

That’s okay, there’s nothing embarrassing about asking for clarification! 

I’ll use some examples to explain them further: 

Bianca is attracted to men and women. She identifies as bi. 

Billy is attracted to men and nonbinary people. He identifies as bi, too. 

Polly is attracted to people of any gender - except for men. She could identify as poly (attracted to multiple genders) or as bi (two or more genders!).  

Penelope really doesn’t care about gender. She’s attracted to people, not specific genders - Penelope is pan. 

Pete is attracted to girls. And boys. And agender people. And nonbinary people. And.. Oh, they are attracted to every gender. They are pan! 

“Isn’t bi only for people who like girls and boys?”

Back when people weren’t really aware that nonbinary genders exist/that gender is a spectrum and not just two set categories, bisexuality was often defined as “attracted to girls and boys”. But nowadays we, as a community, are aware that gender and attraction is not as black and white as people used to believed and so the definition of bisexuality got broader to be more inclusive.

That’s why we now define bisexuality as “attracted to two or more genders”. Those genders can be binary or nonbinary! 

Long story short, bi can mean “I like girls and boys” but that’s not the only possible meaning. Remember: Labels are made for people, not the other way around. 

“I’m dating a nonbinary person, does that mean i have to identify as pan?” 

No. People can date nonbinary people and identify with any label. 

“Technically i fit the definition of pan but i feel more comfortable with the label bi. Is that okay?” 

Yes! Your label is yours and only you can decide which label is the right one for you. 

Many people feel this way because they used the label bi before they learned what pan means and now are already out as bi or already feel so comfortable with the label bi that they don’t feel the need to correct it. That’s fully okay! 

Other people prefer bi because the term pan is less commonly known and they prefer to not have to explain their label over and over again. That’s okay, too! 

“Can i be bi/pan and asexual at the same time?” and “I met someone who identifies as bi/pan and asexual! Is that even possible?”  

Yes. Some people are romantically attracted to two, more or all genders but feel no sexual attraction. That’s not a contradiction! 

A term to describe that is “biromantic asexual”/”panromantic asexual”. However, some people prefer to just say “bi asexual” or “pan asexual”.  

Some people also experience fluidity in their level of attraction and might sometimes feel no sexual attraction and at other times feel attraction to two, more or all genders. That’s another possible explanation why someone might identify as bi/pan and asexual. 

“Someone told me pan people are also attracted to animals and now i feel gross for using the term.” 

That’s just something people say to insult lgbt+ people or to paint them as evil. Neither gay, bi nor pan people are attracted to animals. 

“Attracted to all genders” (obviously) means “attracted to humans of all genders.”. Don’t let any lgbt+-phobes run a perfectly harmless label for you, my dear. 

“I’m bi/pan and currently in a girl/boy relationship, am i still lgbt+?”

Yes! People who identify as bi or pan are part of the lgbt+ community, no matter who they date. You don’t need to be in a same-sex relationship to be allowed to identify as lgbt+. 

You are not “betraying” or “invading” the lgbt+ community. I know you’ll sadly encounter people who say such mean things but they are wrong. Your idenity is valid regardless of your relationship status or dating history. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

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What Sherlock Doesn't Say to Molly

In light of Sherlock finally saying those three little words to Molly, I’ve been going back and tracing the progression of his feelings for Molly.  And one of the things that stood out to me started with that often analyzed Sherlolly question… “Was Sherlock really oblivious about the coffee invite?"  Because there is one thing that Sherlock has never said to Molly despite having ample opportunity to do so.

We’ve noted for ages that for all his supposed obliviousness Sherlock is socially perceptive enough to realize that John’s questions about Sherlock’s dating status could denote a romantic interest, and Sherlock immediately and politely shuts that down lest it create some misunderstanding or trouble with his new roommate.  Not that John meant it in that way, anyhow, but an ounce of prevention… 

So if Sherlock can recognize those social cues, how does he miss Molly’s date invitation?  One could argue that Molly’s invite was more subtle and at a time when he was rather distracted by the experiment that he was conducting at the time… except for one rather large fly in the ointment. 

For someone who is supposed to be oblivious to Molly, Sherlock is awfully damned observant.  His reaction to Molly’s explanation is equally problematic if we are supposed to believe that Sherlock is completely oblivious. 

That is not the face of a man who is just going with the easy explanation.  Even as Sherlock starts to turn back to his notes, his eyes are warily fixed on Molly and his expression and body language seems quite suspicious and nervous, rather like a man who has just discovered a large cobra that looks ready to strike.  He knows there’s more to this and that Molly is about to make a move.  This would be the perfect time to lay things on the line, as he later does with John, but instead he feigns complete ignorance. 

We’ve thrown out plenty of theories about his actions here before, but I think that in light of the progression between Sherlock and Molly it’s worth a few new thoughts.  I am honestly not sure if Sherlock knows why he plays dumb at this moment.   As Mrs. Hudson points out in S4, Sherlock is actually all emotion… however in S1 Sherlock is firmly denying his emotions to the point that you have to wonder if he’s even convinced himself.  

For as concerned as Sherlock was about his observation that Molly had put on lipstick for him, he’s equally concerned when he observes that she has taken it off after her failed invitation.  And it is not at all inconceivable after all we’ve seen between them that a primal part of Sherlock actually enjoyed the fact that Molly was putting on that lipstick for his benefit. 

He doesn’t want her to push for something he thinks is beyond his capabilities, but he doesn’t want her to completely lose interest in him either.  Sherlock knows how to give Molly a compliment to get in her good graces, as he does in the very next episode, but he doesn’t do that here either.  A compliment this soon after her invite could provoke another invite.  So he needles her instead, trying to provoke her into continuing to wear lipstick around him. 

At heart I really don’t think that Sherlock is behaving this way because he’s a cold bastard who’s merely trying to use Molly at the beginning of the series.  I think that would have been his way of rationalizing his behavior in the first two episode, but I also think that from the beginning Sherlock at least subconsciously wants Molly’s romantic attention.  There could even be a conscious recognition of this desire on his part that he is internally at war with himself over, because there is a pattern of behavior here that continues even as their relationship escalates. 

Let’s skip ahead to the next big development in their relationship.  The Christmas party where Sherlock discovers that Molly’s regard for him is deeper than just a little meaningless flirting… after he humiliates both of them in front of their friends by trying to deduce her.  She’s dressed to the nines, she’s carrying one specially wrapped present, and she’s wearing that sexy red lipstick for someone–and Sherlock’s deductions make it crystal clear that he does understand the psychology behind a woman trying to draw a man’s attention to her lips.  The "Jim” incident made it clear that Molly wasn’t just sitting around and pining for Sherlock, and he might even have reason to believe that Molly has moved on after that particular scene in the lab.  It’s only after he has behaved like a complete bellend that Sherlock realizes that he was the object of her affection all along. 

Sherlock giving his first ever apology in the series to Molly was a beautiful and important moment.  Sherlock goes beyond that though by giving Molly a Christmas present in return. 

After all the horrible things he’d said, Sherlock gives her a tender kiss on the cheek while wishing her a Merry Christmas.  Leaving Molly (and the rest of the world) to wonder what to make of his actions.  Was he so cruel before because he was jealous?  Was he overcompensating for having just been a total jerk to her?  It’s not like Sherlock bothers to clarify with something like, “I’m flattered Molly, but I’m married to my work."  Is that because he’s trying to spare her more pain, or because he, himself, is confused especially with how Irene has been trying to stir his libido? 

Between the kiss, Sherlock’s lewd ringtone, and Sherlock identifying Irene at the morgue by "not her face”… Sherlock is definitely not giving Molly the impression that he is a man who is married to his work.  No wonder she’s looking for a little clarification on the subject while they are working alone in the lab. 

And this was Sherlock’s golden opportunity to tell her if he didn’t want her affections, because he didn’t have to make the answer about Molly.  There is nobody around to make the situation humiliating.  He could have simply answered, “Molly, I think you should know I consider myself married to my work, etc." 

Because at this point Sherlock knows how Molly feels about him.  All the Christmas deductions plus the "three x’s… sign of romantic attachment."  And yet again, Sherlock doesn’t say it. 

For someone who had zero trouble saying those words to John when he thought John might have a romantic interest, Sherlock goes out of his way to never say those words to Molly, even after he knows she is romantically interested in him.  Even when Molly thinks that he is in love with Irene, Molly is still that helpful and loyal soul he can rely on.  He’s not going to lose her help in the lab or on his cases, so none of his potential earlier rationalizations for not telling her would apply anymore. 

Instead, Sherlock goes on to tell her things like, "You can see me.” “You do count.  You’ve always counted, and I’ve always trusted you."   "If I wasn’t everything that you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?"  And let’s not forget his answer to "What do you need?"  Obviously the only way to answer that was, ”You.“  ;)

So Molly helps fake his death (and keep it secret for two years) and lets him use her bedroom for a bolthole, so I think we’ve reached a pretty high level of trust between them by the beginning of season 3, where Sherlock gets yet another scene where he could have said those words. 

Yeah, so if Molly considers "have dinner” a viable ending to that sentence, Sherlock has obviously still never mentioned his “no dating” policy to her.  They have a day filled with crime solving, meaningful looks, Sherlock’s heartfelt thanks, declarations of Molly being “the one person who mattered most”, another kiss from Sherlock, and an offer to take her to dinner after all… until Sherlock and Molly finally have to acknowledge that she’s currently engaged to another man. 

And do you know when else Sherlock would have had an opportunity to tell Molly that he was married to his work and not interested in romantic entanglements?  During whatever off-screen conversation that had about saying “I love you” to each other during the whole bomb threat scene.  Of course, with the way that Molly was beaming the world’s biggest smile and rushing towards Sherlock’s favorite spot in the ending montage, I think it’s safe to say that Sherlock never said those words to her then either. 

Dass andere ausgelacht werden, nur weil sie in einem gewissen Alter noch in Sachen Liebe & Sexualität unerfahren sind, finde ich unter aller Sau. Es kommt mir vor, als wäre ein Freund/eine Freundin eher ein Modeaccessoir oder Statussymbol und dass es gar nicht so wichtig ist, sich zu lieben, dem anderen zu vertrauen oder füreinander da zu sein. Er/sie muss nur wenigstens heiß aussehen, beliebt sein und viel Geld haben. Deshalb bin ich der Meinung, dass Menschen, die vorher keine Erfahrung hatten, am ehrlichsten lieben, weil sie so lange gewartet haben und sich endlich sicher sind, dass es die Person fürs Leben ist
Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.
—  Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
bts as roommates (namjoon)
  • three words; A MESSY ONE
  • his excuse: he works well if it’s messy
  • SO YOU DON’T HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS bC you’ve heard his works 
  • ryan plushies everywhere dUH
  • (he’s obv LYING when he said brown over ryan)
  • headphones, cables, earphones, extensions, charger, laptop chargers chords!!! everywhere bIH
  • eats in his studio :(((
  • being the nicest roommate you are, you bring him food when he forgets to eat 
  • Thank you Y/N!! you’re the best”  while scratching his eyes
  • “i know i am” with matcHING SASSY WINK ;o
  • he doesn’t mind to be bothered, but it’s best if you don’t 
  • has small plants by the window :’D


  • doesnt dry his back after showering 
  • always showers before bed
  • doesnt mind being topless arOUND YOU
  • “kim namjoon do you want to catch pneumonia?? put some shirt on!” 
  • “do you think im not sexy?” and he’ll pout with daT DIMPLE VISIBLE
  • not wearing a shirt while it’s negative degrees outside isn’t” 
  • reads books if he isn’t so tired from practice/working
  • really helpful when you ask for help (for scHOOLWORKS geeZ not that)
  • 100% a cuddly baby 
  • but that is just your opinion bc roommates dont just cuddle casually myGOODNESS
  • HIS SWEATERS/FLANNELS/BEANIES/SHIRTS are the nicest thing in the world :(
  • extra PLUMP lips during winters
  • assorted lipbalms lollies
  • smells really really good :(
  • TOUGH image but is actually fifty percent clumsy
  • injured his pinky toe one time, you two have to go to the nearest hospital
  • “jeEZ are you okay?” and you two burst out laughing until.. “it hurts so bAAAD” 


  • your whole neighborhood knows he snores 
  • but you got used to it bC youre the queen of ADAPTATION
  • his tough image and all goes down in the drain when he sleeps :”)
  • MORNING VOICE!!! makes!! you!! question!! your!! dating!! status!!!!!
  • your morning involves either: RUSH OF EVERYTHING
  • or drinking coffee in big shirts with one feet on the chair 
  • “y/n” “what” “how about this” 
  • “HOW IS THAT YOU LOOK AMAZING IN EVERYTHING” you sigh every single time
  • and he’ll hit you with “BUT NOT AS AMAZING AS YOU” bc he’s smooth af
  • that will get you internally screaming “WHY ARENT WE DATING!!!!” 
  • buys you clothes whenever he goes home from japan :((( 
  • and in exchange you’d buy him small things like notebooks and cute pens :D
  • On nights, when he’s on break you guys would order chicken and sOJU 
  • and you know he’s drunk when he starts to talk abyss level philosophical things
  • you finally got the courage to ask that one question
  • *namjoon’s laughter* “KIM NAMJOON!” “WHAT!” *more laughter* “WHAT ARE WE” *abrupt stop of laughter* “What do you mean???” *slurry hand gestures from yours truly* “LIKE US I MEAN HAHAHAHA” 
  • “i think you had too much to drink y/n” and he’d scratch his nape “nO i think i can manage” “i saw your lock screen… is that your girlfriend?” “no?” *checks his lock screen* *sees tinashe* *LAUGHS* “but why is she there” “because i love her” “SO SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND” and you start sobbing because of your sad fate
  • “why are you crying” “because i like you, dumbass!!” 
  • and that’s your cue to pass out
  • because…
  • exhibit a: you are on his bed
  • exhibit b: namjoon is beside you
  • exhibit c: hangovers
  • exhibit d: his hand over your waist
  • exhibit e: YOUR CONFESSION
  • exhibit f: HE IS WAKING UP 
  • “good morning, y/n” he said in a teasing voice and you slap urself
  • “anything you have to say???” he asked while wearing a knowing smirk
  • “i’m sorry i called you dumbass..” AND YOU’LL BOTH LAUGH AND HIM PULLING YOU TIGHTER :(((
  • “just a few more minutes”…

Date the marble statue of the creature with horns guarding your local cemetery, he watches you when you walk by to make sure you are safe in your travels past the dead, he moves to reach for you while you are not looking, he is lonely.

Buddy and Ummi Part 1 (Damian Wayne x Mother Figure! Reader)

Summary: As Dick Grayson’s girlfriend, you meet his new younger sibling, Damian Wayne. The young boy doesn’t know how to express that he needs a mother figure, but once you figure it out, you’re happy to be just that. 

Request?: Nope

Word Count: 1221

A/N: I had this idea where Dick’s Girlfriend becomes like a mom to Dami and maybe Tim? (which I know isn’t actually original but ?? Give me a break. I really wanted to write it) This is gonna be a series and I already have the first three and a half parts written out so ? Hopefully it’s good. I’m going to try to update it at least once a week for now? I can’t guarantee that I’ll stick to that though! Anyways, Hope you enjoy! If you want to be put on the taglist, send me a message or an ask, and i love hearing your feedback!

Series Masterlist

“So you’re telling me, you’re Nightwing, your dad is Batman, your younger brother is Red Hood, your other brother is Robin, and now there’s a small child who was raised and trained by assassins that will most likely want to kill me. And I’m meeting them all right now?”

“It’s not like you didn’t know about my nightly activities babe,” Dick stated, grabbing your hand.

“Yeah but it’s a little different now that one of your siblings could kill me and will probably want to.”

Keep reading

  • Me: I'm in love....aye, I'm in love
  • Best friend: Ugh, no not again. How many times do I need to tell you that falling in love with a fictional character or a celeb is not going to improve your dating status.
  • Get a grip.
  • There are so many dateable guys around you.
  • ME: Does any of them have a pen that can turn into a sword?
  • BF: no
  • Me: Does any of them intentionally burn good bread, gets hit by his mother and pretend throw it away so that the girl he likes can eat it?
  • BF: no
  • Me: Does any of them throw knives at the person who they like?
  • BF: what?
  • Me: Will any of them go to Japan and become super successful so that he can make himself worthy of the girl he likes?
  • BF: ummmm
  • Me: Will anyone of them do anything that the guys of The Mortal Instruments did for their loves?
  • BF: I haven't read...
  • Me: Do you want me to continue with my never ending list?
  • BF: UMmmm

I’d like to apologize for the severe lack of updates. The Sans date has been a major undertaking, and while I wanted to get it out by today, a number of factors have slowed me down.

As of this post, I am about 90% done with the next update. Time permitting, I should have it done by tomorrow. For now, enjoy a small teaser.

I will try to get to asks and bring back Theory Thursday this week.

As for A Shift in Fate, it is not dead. Voltra has just been busy, but we have gotten a BIT more done. We have about one more scene to do before the next chapter goes up.

Lust for life

Pairing: Namjoon x oc Yoongi on the side

Word count: 5.4k

Genre: smut, graphic sex

Summary: Lust4life is a web that offers anonymous sex partners to people who want to remain hidden. Your job is unusual, and so are your clients.

The day you met Namjoon started as usual, the sun waking you up and your alarm clock going off as if its life depended on it. Your legs felt heavy and weak as you opened your eyes but you didn´t falter a bit when you lifted the covers only to be welcomed by a bunch of bruises around your thighs and hips. Yoongi had gone rough, very rough, on you last night after talking about how expensive your services were. He had said, literally, that he had to make sure every single cent he spent on you was worth enough his time. That, in Yoongi´s language, meant fucking you sensless until you couldn´t properly walk the next day.

Reluctantly getting up you moved towards the kitchen with tiny steps to make yourself some breakfast and grab a pack of ice that you´d surely need if you were planning on going to the gym today. Yoongi had been your client for about five months yet you still weren´t used to him or his even colder than yours demeanor. He liked everything in his life to be in complete control, including you.

Even if he was terribly hot, he was way too full of himself for your taste. Good at sex, sure, but nothing else that you knew about. That made it hard for you to grow fond of him as a person, not that you needed to anyway but, he was like a box without a lock. Impossible to approach no matter how you tried. You didn´t even like to think about him outside of work, so you quickly downed some juice dismissing the vague smell of his cologne attached to your shirt.

Keep reading