dastardly fiend

A Super Help (Fem!Reader)

@jackie-sugarskull This prompt moved me so much. I don’t think my heart can take this any longer. The Captain interacting with children is my absolute favorite thing ever.

Hope you enjoy!

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There! That should be the last of them!”

The Captain clapped his hands together, brushing off the dirt. Your ten year old daughter and her little brother watched in awe as the superhero helped load the last cage onto the animal control van


“Who knew gophers could grow that BIG!!!” Your daughter threw her arms up in wild emphasis, while your five year old son began to play pretend, growling as if he too were a rabid gopher.


“Thank you so much, Captain! You really saved the day!” You eagerly threw your arms around the trouser-less wonder.


Haha! It was no trouble at all, Ms. Y/n!!!” The Captain beamed, tightly wrapping his arms around you in return. “Trapping them was easy once we found out they were magnetic mutant gophers! Just open the hatch to the metal cage and they zip right in!”


The gophers snarled and rattled in the van, stuck to the sides of their metal cages. The Captain released you, and your two children came running to cling to your legs.


The Animal Control workers slammed the van shut, and soon they were driving off, taking the reactive rodents far, far away from you and your children.


Captain Underpants let out a proud exhale, placing his fists on his hips.

“Well, it was a pleasure seeing you all again.” He said tenderly, playfully tousling your son’s hair.


“Huh? No, don’t go yet!” He reached up to grasp at the Captain’s cape.

“Yeah!” Your daughter piped. “Can’t you stay just a little longer, Captain Underpants?”


He could swear his heart was ready to shatter to pieces. He bent down to their height and placed a hand on each of their shoulders.


“I really wish I could but I’ve done my duty, young ones. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” He brought your children in for a warm embrace.


You couldn’t bear to see your son and daughter in such disarray. It isn’t every day their favorite superhero comes for a visit. Actually this was only the third time they had ever seen him in person. Apparently he had saved their school on more than one occasion.

One of those occasions being in the middle of your class when the school was being overtook by an invasion of stink-spewing skunk cabbage creatures thanks to the work of a new garden-themed villain.Three of the creatures had you entangled in their vines, forcing you to inhale their toxic fumes.

That is, until Captain Underpants swooped in, tearing you from their creeping foliage and whisking you, along with the rest of the school to safety.


The other time was when a dastardly fiend attempted to swarm the school with hundreds of tiny android insects, which you had to admit was pretty cool at first. They were actually pretty cute, and the kids loved playing with them, especially your two.

But when you saw that vile man attempt to attack your son when he accidentally crushed one under his sneaker, that’s when you drew the line. Your daughter tried to step between, arms outstretched to defend her little brother, but to you horror she had taken a swift kick to the side, knocking her clean to the floor.

But before you could react, that brief-clad hero quickly intervened, scooping up your daughter and son in one arm, then delivering the evildoer a swift uppercut to the jaw.

You gazed in awe at the strange bald hero as he clobbered the villain to the ground, then gently lowered your children into your arms.


“Take care of them. I’ll have an ambulance on the way for your daughter, Miss Y/n.” He said to you before returning to finish off the creepy-crawly creep.


You held your children close. “Th-Thank you, Captain… Wait! How did you know my-….”


But it was too late. He and the villain were gone, and the mechanical bugs were all scurrying out of the building. And in an almost second, an ambulance siren wailed around the corner of the elementary school for your daughter and whomever else was in need of assistance.


So you did technically owe him three times for his valiant efforts.



You tapped at your chin.

“You know, I was planning on baking a pie tonight.” You grinned amusingly.


It was almost as if you had revealed the Holy Grail.


PIE?!” Your children exclaimed with stars in their eyes.

You nodded contently. “Mm-hm. It would be a shame if you couldn’t join us for a slice.” You flashed a playful wink at the Captain.


“Oh…? Well, I do believe it would be rather rude of me not to partake, now wouldn’t it?”

The Captain passed the wink to the kids who in turn, clung to the hero in delight.


You couldn’t help but laugh as the waistband wonder soared into the sky, twirling your two children in his arms.


“Alright, you three!!!” You shouted up to the sky. “Come on inside and I’ll start making the crust!”


“I wanna put the filling in!!!” Your daughter exclaimed.

“I just wanna lick the spoon after!” Your son giggled.


“Alrighty then! To… YOUR KITCHEN!!!

And with that being said, the Captain swooped down with your children, racing into the house while you happily sauntered behind.


-


“Mmf-… Thiff if a luffly place you haff here, Miff Y/n!” The Captain attempted to speak through a mouthful of your favorite pie.


“Thank you, Captain. It’s an old place, but I think we spruced it up rather nicely, the three of us.” You replied, sitting down on your sofa next to him with your own plate.


“Captain Underpants, look!!! I like superheros too!!!” You smiled as your son came running into the living room with an armful of crayon drawings, haphazardly spreading them on the floor in a personal gallery for the Captain to view.


The Captain’s eyes lit up. He swallowed and leaned forward to get a closer look.


“Wow, son! Those are amazing! Is this you?” He picked up a drawing of a boy in a bright green cape flying and saving a cat from a burning building.


Your son pumped his arms excitedly. “Yeah!!! When I grow up, I wanna be a superhero just like you, Captain!!!”


Meanwhile your daughter sat in the back corner in the recliner, scribbling away in her writing notebook.

“I’m sorry bro, but you’re gonna need superpowers for that to happen.” She scoffed.


“Superpowers?! HA!!!“ The Captain set down his plate on the coffee table. “They do help quite a bit, but you don’t need superpowers to be a hero! Why when I first became Captain Underpants, I didn’t even have powers!”


REALLY?!” Your son put his hands on the Captain’s knee, his mouth open in shock.


“Mm-hm! But I knew deep down in my heart I wanted to do something good for the world.” He reached under your son’s arms and plopped him down on his knee. “If you really want to be a superhero, you need to ask yourself one thing and one thing only: …. Do you want to do something good for the world?”


YEAH!!!” Proclaimed your son, pumping his fists in the air once more.


“Then, my boy, you CAN be a hero!!!!” The Captain lifted your little boy in his arms, holding him high above his head.


It was a beautiful sight, seeing your son so overjoyed. You knew he was going to remember this moment for a lifetime. Even your daughter was enthralled in the excitement. It almost felt like the moment could last forever.



“Well, I am sorry to say this, but I think I need to be heading home.” The Captain glanced out the window, noticing the sun was just about to set for the day.


“Aw, really?!?!” Your children moaned as he lowered your son back to the floor.


“It is getting rather late. You two need to be getting ready for bed!” You felt like a sword was being driven through your chest watching the happiness drain from your children’s faces, but you knew it had to happen eventually.


“Can you come back tomorrow, Captain?” Your son asked, tugging slightly at his cape. You reached down and scooped him up in your arms.


“Honey, Captain Underpants has to keep an eye out and protect the city. That’s his job! He’s got to make sure no weird robot gophers come back to take over Piqua!” You bounced him in your arms, making him giggle. You turned back to the Captain.

“But please, don’t be a stranger, will you?” You smiled graciously.


“Only if there’s more of that delicious pie!” He winked, then turned to your daughter who was back in her chair, still writing away.


“You’ve been rather quiet back there, Little Lady. What are you working on?” He asked.


Your daughter quickly folded her notebook shut and pointed to the cover.

“I’ve been writing about all the times you saved us! I never want to forget them!!!” She beamed proudly.


The Captain chuckled and ruffled her hair. “Be sure to keep those safe and sound. And who knows? Maybe someday you’ll become Piqua’s next ace reporter!”


A wide, toothy smile spread across your daughter’s face. And with a leap off her chair and a tight hug goodbye to the Captain, she bolted up the stairs to her bedroom.


“Thank you, Captain Underpants!!! I won’t let you down!!!” She yelled as she darted into her room.


You and the Captain shared a laugh as you lead him towards the door.


“Will you be safe heading home, Captain? Er-… I mean I know you’re a superhero, but it is getting dark and I-…. Ugh, I’m a mother, what do you expect?” You shook your head, wanting to kicking yourself.


“Not a problem, Miss Y/n! I appreciate the concern!” The Captain wrapped his arms around you and your son one last time. “Thank you for such a wonderful time!”


You nodded. “Yes, please do come again! I’m sure the kids would love seeing their favorite superhero again someday.” You gave a small kiss to the side of your son’s head.


The Captain saluted and clicked his heels. “You have my word!!! And now I must bid thee, farewell and goodnight!!!”


And with a bend of his knees, the Captain soared high in air. A triumphant “Tra-la-laa!!!” echoed through the evening sky as he zoomed off into the night.



Your son let out a long, heavy yawn, which contagiously made you yawn in return.


“Let’s get you up to bed, then, shall we?” You cooed, taking him back inside.


The sleepy boy rubbed his eyes. “Mommy, do you really think I can be a superhero like Captain Underpants?”


You smiled, bringing him close in your arms.

“Yes. Yes, I do, sweetheart.”

anonymous asked:

"Oh hello there. I believe we've not formally met. I am Father, but you can call me Ben if you so wish....." Ben smiled softly. He wanted to make sure the duck was okay, especially after what had happened the day before. [ fiery-mischief ]

   “Aahh! Well, Hello, I am Count Duckula of Castle Duckula,” He gave a bit before straightening his posture to gesture to the figure besides him, “And This is my Butler Igor,”

   “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir.’ “

Bad Guys Night would not be complete without the most dastardly enemy that the DWMA has ever and will ever know

More evil than all other Soul Eater villains combined, because they all spawned from him - he is the very epicenter of all evil in the world of Soul Eater - scourge to friend, foe, and fan [MANGA fans ESPECIALLY] alike - he tops the most wanted list, no contest -

ATSUSHI OHKUBO - AUTHOR OF SOUL EATER

getinthefuckingjaeger  asked:

You fiend i waSNT READY I WASN'T READY FOR A KOWALSKI SPAWN AND PROBABLY MORE OF THEM LATER HUGGING GRAVES' LEGS BEGGING HIM TO PLAY AURORS AND CRIMINALS

More of them? More of them?

Do you know what Graves has to put up with from the Kowalski spawn? Do you know how many various shades of pink and pastel blue (and that one month of violent blood red that still haunts him to this day) his nails have been painted? He’s had sparkly beads braided into his hair.

And you want more of them?

Graves didn’t realise what he was getting into at first, and maybe, maybe that was his fault. But come on - the spawn was tiny, her entire hand was the size of Graves’ finger, she blew him a spit bubble and called him “Nun-cle” in an adorable little lisp. Graves thought she was cute, like those stray crup puppies Newt brought home that one time.

The crup puppies alternately chewed his dressing gown and shat in his slippers, so he really should learn to be wary of cute things.

But! The spawn was cute. She had round cheeks and curly hair, and liked to sit on his knee and tangle her fingers in his scarf. And, maybe, he and Newt had been in Paris and there’d been this little boutique shop with these little pink dresses and he’d picked one up for her on the way.

And then, maybe, there’d been that doll with the ringlets in its hair and the lace frills on its clothes.

In Bolivia there are llamas, and brightly coloured ponchos with llamas knitted on them.

In China, silk, every colour under the sun and shimmering iridescent with more that are only seen by moonlight.

In Malaysia, batik wax-patterns of the most beautiful flowers imaginable.

Newt picks up stray creatures and stuffs them in his suitcase, but Graves picks up toys and clothes and picture books and slips them in his jacket pocket. There’s one two three spawn, and he can’t stop bringing them things now, they’ll be sad.

It’s emotional manipulation at its finest and they all practice it, even if the youngest is still too young to talk. He’ll learn. His sisters will make sure of it.

His sisters, who are currently barrelling towards him at unreasonable speed, socked feet sliding on the polished floor.

“Uncle Graves, quick! Come with me!” the younger spawn says, hauling him out of his chair and diving behind the sofa with him.

“Fiend!” the elder cries dramatically. “Dastardly evil fiend!”

“Um,” Graves says from where he’s crouched against the sofa.

“I’m kidnapping you,” is the matter-of-fact response. “You’re my ostrich.”

“Um?”

“It’s hostage, and don’t worry Uncle Graves, I’m an auror and I’m going to rescue you!”

Graves ends up hiding in the bath with a stuffed toy fire crab while his auror savior dramatically flings spells from a quill pen and and his devious kidnapper marshalls the puffskeins into an army.

More of them, maybe, would be ok. Maybe.