darwin awards

“Stop Whining, Go Hunting”

Man who made his living killing African wildlife gets eaten by African wildlife

April 21, 2017 – Scott Van Zyl made his living taking wealthy clients on “safaris” for the sole purpose of bringing home trophies like leopards, zebras, wildebeests and even lions. Now, investigators in Zimbabwe believe that Van Zyl ended up on the wrong end of the predator-prey relationship, and DNA tests have confirmed that he was attacked, killed, and eaten by crocodiles while on a hunting trip.

Van Zyl, who ran SS Pro Safaris, offered specials for hunters to spend a week or more on his hunting lands which border nature preserves, with the promise of killing up to seven different species for $9,000. He also offered other hunting expeditions with targets like elephants and giraffes, though specifics for those, including prices, aren’t listed on the company’s site. Photos of clients holding the bodies of several rare species are posted on Van Zyl’s site, along with the motto “Stop whining, go hunting.”

The circumstances surrounding his death are spotty, but reports suggest that Van Zyl and a second hunter and a pack of dogs. The two men split up, choosing to travel on foot alone, but when the dogs returned to the base camp without Van Zyl, his companion knew something was wrong.

His footprints were tracked to a riverbank where searchers found his backpack as well as several large Nile crocodiles. Authorities killed the crocs after getting clearance to do so and subsequently discovered human remains inside the stomach of one of them. Tests of the remains matched Van Zyl. The incident is just one of a handful of fatal crocodile attacks tallied so far in 2017 alone.

Man Dissolved in Acidic Water After Trying to “Hot Pot” Soak in Yellowstone National Park Hot Pool

He and his sister were trying to “hot pot,” or soak in the water.

An Oregon man who died in a Yellowstone National Park hot spring and dissolved when he fell into the boiling, acidic water, was looking to soak in the water, park officials said in a report.

The report, which followed a Freedom of Information Act request from KULR, found that Colin Scott, 23, was looking for a place to “hot pot,” or soak in the streaming waters—a practice forbidden by the park—with his sister in June. He “was reaching down to check the temperature of a hot spring when he slipped and fell into the pool,” the report said, quoting his sister Sable Scott.

Search and rescue rangers who looked for Scott found his body in the pool, along with his wallet and flip flops, but their recovery efforts were thwarted by a lightning storm. The next day, they could not find any remains because of the acidic water quality.

“In a very short order, there was a significant amount of dissolving,” Deputy Chief Ranger Lorant Veress told KULR.

Teen Arrested with Loaded Gun in Vagina and another Woman had Drug Baggies You-Know-Where

Cops say a Tennessee teen who got arrested for driving with a suspended license on Monday had a surprise in store for police. When a female corrections officer at Kingsport jail performed a search on 19-year-old Dallas Archer, she allegedly discovered an “unknown object” lodged in the young woman’s crotch. She alerted another female officer, who accompanied her during a further examination, according to documents obtained by the Smoking Gun. The officers allegedly discovered a loaded, five-shot, four-inch .22 caliber mini-revolver concealed in Archer’s vagina. It turns out that the gun was stolen last year when John Souther’s car was “ransacked” in an auto burglary, cops said. Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman, told TSG that he’d make sure to give his stolen “little fellow… a bath in bleach.” Archer was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility, and was later released on $6,000 bond, according to Gawker. This isn’t the first time someone’s allegedly been caught with a gun concealed in their nether regions. Last year, an Oklahoma woman was arrested with a loaded 5-shot revolver sticking out of her vagina, cops said. "It would seem to be a very dangerous place to carry a loaded firearm,” Pontotoc County District Attorney Chris Ross told KFOR at the time. “If it goes off, it’s only going one place.” That woman, Christie Harris, also had two bags of what turned out to be methamphetamine hidden in baggies in her butt, according to police.

Two Teen Girls Take ‘Pre-Robbery Selfie’ with Masks and Knife

A pair of teenage girls who were arrested on suspicion of robbery in late March could have possibly talked their way out of it — had they not snapped a selfie of themselves dressed as robbers and holding a knife just before allegedly committing the crime.

The unidentified teens were accused of having robbed a burger joint in Halmstad, Sweden, with a large kitchen knife, and making off with just under $400.

The local K-9 unit was able to track down the girls to their grandparents’ apartment, where a knife and a pair of balaclavas were found.

Upon confiscating the girls’ cellphones, officers found photos of the suspects wearing balaclavas and holding a knife matching the description of the one used in the robbery.

Only one of girls, a 17-year-old, is old enough to be tried. Her court date has been set for August 2nd.