darwin awards

Too bad to check: Westboro cult vows to travel to Iraq to protest ISIS

They call themselves “Westboro Baptist Church,” but I refuse to refer to them using the words Baptist or church because they are neither of these things.  They are a cult and a hate group, and it really isn’t more complicated than than. 

The Westboro cult was recently challenged by British talk show host Adam Hills to protest someone who actually is an affront to Christians: ISIS, who beheads and crucifies Iraqi and Syrian Christian men, women, and children in the streets. 

Here’s the clip from Hills’s show (PROFANITY WARNING…there are some f-bombs in here):

Shortly after the show aired, the Westboro cult accepted Hills’s offer via Twitter:

If this actually happens, you’re going to be hearing about these people on the Darwin Awards.

Things (I) Learn From My Patients

All these stories are borrowed (and cleaned up, which is my contribution) from the forums over at SDN.

They’re just too good to pass up…

  1. Never, ever leave flashlights, beer bottles or any other long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it… and it will somehow impale its way up your rectum.
  2. Always do woodwork with your skill saw before using meth.
  3. White latex paint, despite being luxuriously thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide relief like pepto bismol does.
  4. If you have taken 7 home pregnancy tests, and they’re all positive, when you come into the emergency department… chances are our test will come back positive too.
  5. If you are given a prescription for narcotics, at least have the courtesy of leaving the lobby before you try to sell the pillz.
  6. Drinking diluted Pine Sol with 5 friends is not a good way to get drunk.
  7. When attempting self-circumcision, do not use dry ice to numb the area. As a corollary, when the dry ice sticks to your parts, do not attempt to remove it with boiling water.
  8. When stealing a prescription pad, please fill it out correctly before turning it into the pharmacy. They know something’s up when you write for “1.2 pounds of morfeen x 1000 refills”
  9. Carefully weigh your options before inserting a toilet brush wrapped in duct tape and saran wrap into your rectum and breaking off the handle. There are better ways to spend your Saturday afternoon.
  10. When your 15 year old daughter gives birth to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting with “gas pain”, try not to run around the ED loudly proclaiming, “I don’t know what y’all did or who that baby is, but my lil’ girl warn’t pregnant when she come in here!”

Motorcyclist Dies Protesting Helmet Laws

Onondaga, N.Y. (AP) - Police say a motorcyclist who was participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in upstate New York has died after he went over the handlebars and hit his head on the pavement.

The accident happened Saturday afternoon in the town of Onondaga, in central New York near Syracuse.

State troopers tell The Post-Standard of Syracuse that 55-year-old Philip A. Contos of Parish, N.Y. was driving a 1983 Harley Davidson with a group of bikers who were protesting helmet laws by not wearing helmets.

Troopers said that Contos hit his brakes, the motorcycle fishtailed and went out of control and Contos went over the handlebars. He was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Troopers said Contos would have likely survived if he had been wearing a helmet.

(Copyright 2011 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

—  You can’t make this shit up.

anonymous asked:


Hahahaha! This Darwin Award winner was one of your people, but laugh it up all you want. One less vigilante roaming the streets.