darren criss listen up tour 2013

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FLASHBACK: May 29, 2013

Listen Up Tour launched in San Francisco!

Generic Darren Criss Article.

Darren Criss, who is a straight man, is staring as Blaine Anderson, who is gay, unlike Darren himself who is heterosexual. This charming, handsome, and straight star has lit up Brodway, while playing a man who is straight just like him, and the big screen (where he made out and gave oral to a female!) alike! But what really made his heterosexual man famous, is his role on Glee!

He got his name known by kissing Chris Colfer, his gay co-worker, who is gay but Criss is not. Though Criss kissed Colfer, for the role because he never would unless he had to, it’s important to remember that he is attracted to boobs! He said so on his “Listen Up!” tour summer of 2013, where he did numerous interviews, one of which talked about his girlfriend, who is a female girl with a vagina that he is dating! Neato! 

Lets talk to him for a few minutes!
Q: How does it feel being straight?
DARREN: Well I dont really believe in lab-
Q: So you and that girl are really close!
DARREN: yeah i guess. But i just want to remind everyone to look at my character as a human, not a sexuality!
Q: Oh! speaking of your character, Blaine is gay, but you are not, right?
DARREN: I just told you that I’m tir-
Q: Thank you, Darren! Watch Glee tonight at 8/7c! On FOX!

There you go, ladies who touch themselves thinking about Darren licking vagina! This man can do it all! Sing, act, dance, fuck girls, and so much more! Can’t wait to see what this straight heterosexual man does in the future! We wish this attractive and straight, girl loving man well, and hope that you keep up with him (because your vagina gets wet when you think about him fucking you, a girl probably, because he likes to do that) in the future!

It’s 100 degrees outside. The dogs are passed out on the floor. My parents are two hours drive north. My sisters are in their own place. I have the run of the house. I have had half a bottle of wine and a dim sim. I am ready. 

Glee ending is wonderful for me. Gosh that sounds off. But Glee was my PhD. It rolled into my life during my first year off education since I was 5. 2009. The year I saved up $30k and went to Cambodia and lived without my family. In 2010 I was back at university, blitzing the living shit out of my Honours year, back at home with my parents and clinging to Chris Colfer because he was everything I was, writing a paper that now has over 50 citations, coming in dux. 2011 was the official start of my PhD and it was the year that gave me Darren Criss and the year that writing fic and being a fangirl eclipsed working hard. 2012 was cracked open with How to Succeed and so many friends, so many adventures, and a spark of science that ignited my passion for research. 2013 was hard work and little else. But Listen Up was there. Chris’s book tour was there. Being front row at Darren’s last show and feeling such a part of it all was there. Feeling a real connection to the fandom and the friends I had through it made me persevere. 2014, last year, was writing a novel which I am insanely proud of and realizing that I can push myself too far and without the right people around me I can be pushed over the edge. That’s what I love about nice boss, he’s so laid back, he doesn’t push me over the edge, he pulls me back from it. Working that out. Writing my thesis. Blitzing my thesis to the extent of no corrections and one examiner going so far as to state that he was humbled by my work. And through it all the slow growth and wind down of Glee. And now, I’ve landed a job at NYU, in one of the cities I love, surrounded by people I love and with research I love. Darren announces Hedwig and I know that for the first two months of living in the big city I will always have friends to hang out with if I get lonely. Now, sitting here in the stifling Saturday heat and watching a Glee episode from across the Pacific and across the United States, I am reminded exactly what fandom is and why I do it and why it is amazing. 

We are almost done. But everything fandom builds and supports—for me a PhD, a novel, a network of friends—lives for as long as we want it to. im fien. 

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Darren Criss-Listen Up Tour-Los Angeles 5/30/13 (Full Performance)