someone (i think it was @fatlardo?) posted about the darkest Check Please timeline (Shitty playing Lacrosse, etc) and it was pretty funny, until i started thinking of the real darkest timeline… i’m so sorry.
Jack died during his overdose.
Bitty never got out of Georgia. He’s closeted and sad and only has friends over the internet.
Shitty went to the College his father told him to go, he’s miserable, is slowly becoming a douche himself.
Lardo had to be realist and chose a career more stable than art. She goes into management, which feels right, but there’s something, a lot, actually, lacking in her life.
Ransom focused on his studies, stresses 99% of the time and never played hockey, so he never met Holster.
Dex gets online classes because he needs to help with the fishing.
Nursey stays in NY and becomes such a pretentious hipster omg
Chowder is the only one who made it to the SMH but the other guys are not as friendly and patient as they could be. He doesn’t really make friends, there.
Parse never managed to get over Jack’s death and is MESSED UP
Johnson wears a goatee because he’s genre savvy, but he’s sad and misses people he never met.
How much credit do you give someone for breaking into your house in the middle of the night and taking a dump on your floor, then returning later with some carpet cleaner and deodorizing spray to clean it up.
That’s basically what McCain did and while I’m happy he cleaned up his own mess I would have been happier if he’d never done it in the first place.
this is truly the darkest fucking timeline i’m so jealous of everyone who gets to live in the alternative universe where the get down has like 10 seasons and shao and zeke are a gay hip hop power couple
y’all know i have a fetish for bulletpoint lists already, so here’s some fun stuff from TTAZZ:
griffin legit thought magnus was going to take the chalice to save julia & he had, like, two episodes worth of wild-ass darkest timeline nonsense that just got scrapped
we woulda gotten a lot more kravitz screen-time if taako & merle hadn’t saved magnus at the end of the suffering game w/ that sweet fuckin soul-grab
justin has now officially confirmed that roleplaying a romantic date with his little brother was super awkward
the reason merle hates angus is because he’s insecure about his own place on the team & so he’s immediately resentful whenever anybody new starts tagging along
there is a reason why garfield was growing a magnus clone in a tank but griffin is going to take that secret to his fucking grave
griffin’s two ideas for the next arc they play are a persona/buffy-inspired game set in an unsuccessful west virginia ski resort town being attacked by monsters, and a cowboy bebop/battlestar galactica-inspired post-apocalyptic jazzy space opera. (holy shit that’s rad)
justin wants to do a game where it’s sherlock holmes, but they’re all sherlock holmeses, and they’re all trying to get clues that are better than the other sherlock holmeses. four super-smart sherlock holmeses, but one of them is a vampire - are they good enough detectives to figure out which one?????
I read an article about how fantastic it is that Steven Spielberg was brought on to direct “Ready Player One” because he was the only person who could unite the world’s most powerful brands, allowing the characters to talk about popular media and make cultural references and, you know… speak like modern human beings.
If you don’t have Spielberg’s clout and money, making a film seems like a legal minefield. In a world where corporations own trademarks on things like architecture, public landmarks, and words, what does one do when shooting a post apocalyptic movie set in Los Angeles; a city that marketing barfed all over?
Persona 3 has incredibly dark themes and the feeling of dread follows you thru the game but you know deep down that if you try your hardest you can save all the people you love and give the world a sense of peace
Persona 4 gives you plenty of reason to stay positive even when the worst possible things happen. you’ve GOT this!
And then Persona 5′s FIRST dungeon happens and suddenly all you can think to yourself is
There is one killer Roomba normally around campus that causes havoc for Gentry and the everyday student alike however one young witch in an attempt to stop the rampaging Roomba made things worse. Much worse. Instead of stopping the rampage the spell caused the Roomba to multiply into an army that numbered at least 300 within an hour according to most students and Gentry . Panic ensured and the campus was terrorized and shut down for a month. What is now known as The Great Roomba crisis is one of the few documented times the Gentry have freely helped out the campus as a whole out of fear of their own safety. With the help of witches, magic users and engineers alike the Roomba Army was stop however the original Roomba remains at large and some say that there are still a few stray Roomba clones. This has never been confirmed. the lesson learned is that magic is never, ever under any circumstances allowed to be used on The Roomba. it is also worth noting that several of the Roomba clones took to following Jimothy everywhere and the behavior has not been explained as the Roomba does not exhibit this behavior. Jimothy is said to have been uncomfortable with the situation or at least that is how people interpreted it.