darker shade of dead

au where Levi works as a speed cleaner for college students as a chump change part time job and Eren contacts him because his parents are coming to town and damn his dorm is a mess.

Eren leaves a key for Levi and pays in advance so he can pick his parents up from the airport (at least Eren left a very good tip)

Levi has 40 minutes to somehow clean an entire wardrobe on the floor, coffee stains and junk food dust all over the kitchen counters and whatever that sticky shit is on the bathroom floor

so Levi gets to work and stresses his ass off trying to clean this shit up but gets an alarming amount of texts about 30 minutes later that Eren is already back at the dorm and needs Levi to get out before they see him (Eren don’t want his parents to know he gross)

welp Levi gets the texts too late (he frantically kicks clothes under the bed and tries his best) and just as he’s beginning to leave Eren swings the door open and smacks Levi right in the face

so a bloody nose and a million stuttering apologies later Grisha and Carla are obviously wondering who this guy is

and while Eren helps Levi with his nose he blurts out the first thing he can think of

“my boyfriend”

and while Eren and Levi are face to face Eren just winces from embassment and with grit teeth he quietly begs Levi to go along with it

and Levi just sticks his hand out and gestures for more cash but in reality Levi is 100% okay with this because no matter how disgusting this kid is he’s actually pretty cute

from there on out let the mutual secret pining begin and Levi has to now tolerate eren’s parents and fly out of town with Eren to keep up the boyfriend facade during holiday dinners and this goes on for a whole two years (that’s like 4 or 5 freaking dinners to sit through)

Levi is now in multiple photos hanging around the house

so for the next Christmas photo Levi takes it another step and surprises Eren with an engagement ring and Erens like “oo good idea” but Levi’s dead serious and Eren turns four shades darker and just sobs during the rest of the photoshoot

2

“Are you ready ?“ she asked, spinning the chamber.
Kell gazed through the gate at the waiting castle. "No.”
At that, she offered him the sharpest edge of a grin.
“Good,” she said. “The ones who think they’re ready always end up dead.” 

BOOKS READ IN 2016 »  a darker shade of magic and a gathering of shadows,                                                                                             v.e. schwab 

Updated Fandoms List

Batman (comics/Gotham) [Nothing from series 3 yet please]

Being Human

Constantine

Doctor Who and Class

The Flash

Grimm [Nothing from series 6 yet please]

Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

The Internship

Kingsman

Legends of Tomorrow

Lucifer

The Maze Runner

Merlin

The Musketeers

Now You See Me

Rogue One

Riverdale

Scorpion

Scream

Shadowhunters

Sherlock

Suicide Squad

Supergirl

Teen Wolf [Nothing from series 6 yet please]

Six of Crows/A Darker Shade of Magic [these are on beta for the moment]

The Walking Dead [Nothing from series 6 as I’ve not really been watching it]/The 100 [Nothing from series 4 as I’ve not really been watching it]

Nowhere Boys/Until Dawn

OCs: Find more information abut them here

Fred Weasley x Reader- Proud Proclamations

Pairing: Fred Weasley X Reader

Summary: Fred sends reader a Howler during lunch which begins to shout pick up lines at her.

Warnings: mild suggestive comments

REQUEST IMAGINES, PREFRENCES

•••

Your Pov:

You swear that you have never been more embarrassed in your life.

It had been a rather bland day, slow classes, boring lessons. Of course your boyfriend, Fred Weasley, had taken note of this. He had seemed to be planning something, as the mischievous twin usually is.

You had no clue of what the clever plan would be this time. But, Fred does go out of his way often to show you how he feels. And you couldn’t wait to see what he had planned.

Dinner had finally rolled around and an old, grey, owl swoops down from the window, along with various other birds. The birds all dropped packages or letters of varying colors and sizes. One small red envelope drops in front of you.

You recognize this type of letter almost immediately and think of what could possibly lye inside it.

A Howler. That’s what you received. Your mind trailed through all the things you could of possibly done wrong.

Hesitantly, you open it and the letter forms into a man’s mouth. It begins to open its mouth to speak, but you didn’t expect the words that came out next…

“Hey Y/n,” your boyfriends voice echoes from the paper throughout the Great Hall, even catching the attention of the professors table.

“Did you survive the Avada Kedavra curse? Cause you’re drop dead gorgeous.”

You face turned a darker shade of red than the Gryffindor robes. But no, the Howler didn’t stop there, it continued. The comments became more and more suggestive by the minute.

“Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?”

“Are you using the Confundus charm? Are are you just naturally mind blowing?”

The pickup lines went on. Then the worst thing possible happened.

“When I’m around you I become a dragon, cause you make me feel horny.”

Your face was deep in your hands by then. And you never felt like coming out.

Soon enough you hear the paper go up in the air and shoot off like fireworks. You look up, expecting a wave of laughter, but instead you get many suggestive grins.

And from across the Great Hall, there your boyfriend stands, waving you over to the Gryffindor table. Knowing that will be enjoyable than your table, you go and join Fred.

As you sit down, he wraps his arm around you and smiles his infamous cocky smile.

“How’d you like my note?” He was winking so often you thought he had something in his eye.

“Fred.”

“Yes Y/n darling?”

“Remind me to kill you later.” You exclaim, filling up a plate.

“Sounds like a plan!” He exclaims, scooping up mashed potatoes.

Originally posted by pottersprophecy

  • Disney: We're gonna make a new movie called Frozen that uses elements from the Hans-Christian Anderson story "The Snow Queen" to create a unique story about two princesses, one of which has a terrible curse.
  • Disney Fanboys and Fangirls: OMFG THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE THE ANIMATION IS PERFECT THE CHARACTERS ARE PERFECT AND THE STORY IS PERFECT
  • Disney Critics: wtf they just recycled the character models from Tangled for these characters which are very obviously the only thing worth talking about in this film
  • Disney: We're gonna make a new film called Big Hero 6, which is based on the Marvel comic of the same name, about a roboticist who learns of a criminal plot and gets the help of a team of crime fighters in the investigation.
  • Disney Critics: wtf they used a model from Tangled and Frozen on exactly one character so let's focus all our attention on that single character from a POSTER and claim that Disney isn't making diverse characters despite the fact that the other characters include a Japanese man, a Japanese woman with a new model, and an African American.
  • Disney Fanboys and Fangirls: THAT CHARACTER IS SO OBVIOUSLY DIFFERENT LOOK SHE HAS HAIR TWO SHADES DARKER THAN RAPUNZEL'S SO YOU'RE DEAD WRONG ABOUT THAT THEY ARE BEING UNIQUE
  • Me: You're all a bunch of blabbering morons.