anonymous asked:

Will you ever post a pic of yourself? Dont get me wrong, sorry, but sometimes I get really curious about how you look like. Idk, i think its cause I see you almost like a friend that we can fangirl and talk about Bella haha. You are a nice girl! x

I wouldn’t post a photo of myself unless it was relevant to Bella or something really big happened in my life just because idk? Like it just feels weird to me to post something personal like that and even then it would probably be on like the ig story on bel.hadid, not on here. I have pale skin with some freckles, dark hair, blue eyes, and a big forehead. I always joke that my head is shaped like the alien emoji… I’m a bit over 5′7 and fairly skinny? I hope that satisfies you? Lmao, idk. The interest is really sweet, though, I’m glad you like talking to me and spazzing out/debating about stuff, I can be kinda bitchy sometimes so it’s nice to know you feel that cozy here!

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Looking back, I can’t remember the truth. I blew everything out of proportion so I could feel the hurt and betrayal and write about it in vivid detail. It was my own method of torture. My own undoing; and I enjoyed every second of it.
—  c.j.n.