dark nursery rhymes

There Was A Young Lady Whose Guts Were Afire

Replacement lyrics for “There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly” for those of us with IBD/IBS of some kind. Replace pronouns as desired, and replace “young” with the single-syllable adjective of your choice. It’s not perfect but NEITHER IS CROHN’S DISEASE. LOL.

There was a young lady whose guts were afire.
I don’t know why her guts were afire - perhaps she’ll expire.

There was a young lady who swallowed some pills;
I’m sure she hoped they’d cure all her ills.
She swallowed the pills to quench the fire,
I dont know why her guts were afire - perhaps she’ll expire.

There was a young lady who swallowed no gluten,
which led to a lot of complainin’ and hootin’.
She swallowed no gluten to help the pills to quench the fire,
I dont know why her guts were afire - perhaps she’ll expire.

There was a young lady who swallowed a scope,
she doesn’t remember a bit of the scope.
She swallowed the scope to see the damage, avoided the gluten to help the pills to quench the fire,
I dont know why her guts were afire - perhaps she’ll expire.

There was a young lady who swallowed her pride,
to start biologics, a terrible ride.
She swallowed her pride to start the infusions to stop the damage, avoided the gluten to help the pills to quench the fire,
I dont know why her guts were afire - perhaps she’ll expire.

There was a young lady who entered remission.
She’s a magician!

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Some important origins of some of our more popular nursery rhymes.