dark bill

3

Okay, Bill, Miss Potts. I am the only person you have ever met, or ever will meet, who is officially licensed to kick the Doctor’s arse. I will happily do the same to you, in the event that you do not align yourself with any instructions I have issued which I personally judge to be in the best interests of your safety and survival. Okay, Bill? Good-oh!

what each Gravity Falls episode is basically about (spoilers duh)

S1

1. Tourist Trapped - gnomes stacked on top of one another try to get some with mabel

2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker - kids ditch uncle to find nessie

3. Headhunters - murder mystery but no one actually died

4. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel - plump southern kid tries to get some with mabel

5. The Inconveniencing - dipper thinks acting literally 2 months older will help him get in wendy’s pants and mabel gets possessed by old people

6. Dipper vs. Manliness - unnecessary gender stereotypes  

7. Double Dipper - dipper tries to get in wendy’s pants by making clones

8. Irrational Treasure - mabel solves a mystery by acting her age

9. The Time Traveler’s Pig - dipper goes back in time to get in wendy’s pants 

10. Fight Fighters - more unnecessary gender stereotypes

11. Little Dipper - mabel is taller than dipper in canada

12. Summerween - everything would have been fine if dipper was the fucking peanut butter

13. Boss Mabel - mabel learns to grow a pair

14. Bottomless Pit - episodes to short to be real so everyone just falls down a hole

15. The Deep End - mabel tries to get in mermando’s pants but he doesn’t wear any

16. Carpet Diem - mabel gets a dick and “the talk” while dipper reads erotica

17. Boyz Crazy - mabel tries to get into 5 boys’ pants but they are all stupid

18. Land Before Swine - stan is a dick to pigs

19. Dreamscapers - inception with a demon dorito 

20. Gideon Rises - children literally almost die because the plump southern kid is extra as fuck

S2

1. Scary-oke - the pines family sings so bad that zombies literally explode

2. Into the Bunker - a shape shifter gets dipper to tell wendy that he wants to get in her pants

3. The Golf War - two 12 year olds are suspiciously good at mini golf

4. Sock Opera - dipper freakiNG GETS POSSESSED BY A FUCKING DEMON AND MABEL DOESNT NOTICE BECAUSE SHE HAS A HARD ON FOR A GUY WHO MAKES OUT WITH HIS HANDS 

5. Soos and the Real Girl - soos wants to fuck a dating sim

6. Little Gift Shop of Horrors - more short not real episodes and stan be creepin

7. Society of the Blind Eye - shit is so fucked that people are ERASING THEIR OWN MINDS

8. Blendin’s Game - mabel and dipper time travel some more because they are nosey as fuck

9. The Love God - mabel causes two angsty teens to fuck

10. Northwest Mansion Mystery - an episode of supernatural with a ghost that turns people into wood

11. Not What He Seams - stan becomes a real person, shit gets real, and mabel single handedly furthers the plot

12. A Tale of Two Stans - forget stan’s old backstory. here’s a new one

13. Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons - dipper and ford play d&d

14. The Stanchurian Candidate - stan runs for mayor because mabel and dipper have discovered mind control

15. The Last Mabelcorn - a unicorn tells mabel she isn’t pure so mabel  PUNCHES IT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE

16. Roadside Attraction - dipper still wants to get in wendy’s pants so stan teaches him how to be a douche

17. Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future - mabel has a mid-life crisis while dipper and ford escape death in the vacuum of space

18. Weirdmageddon Part 1 - A DEMON TAKES OVER THE TOWN. post-apocalyptic wendy is hot

19. Weirdmageddon Part 2 - bill traps mabel in HER OWN MIND???

20. Weirdmageddon Part 3 - OK SERIOUSLY A DEMON TRIES TO KILL TWO CHILDREN AND THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT HIM IS BY TRAPPING HIM IN STANS MIND AND THEN ERASING STANS MEMORIES HOLY FUCK. then they have a birthday party