today is my approximation of this blog’s one-year anniversary, as well as, incidentally, my birthday. a collision of two significant occurrences in my life – one being the inception of my longest-running muse, the other the reason i have a life to begin with. here’s a not-so-secret: one of these celebrations wouldn’t be possible or worthwhile without the inclusion of all of you (yes, you, reading – it doesn’t matter if my half-asleep brain included you in the below list or not ; you are amazing, i love you, i cherish you), & the other is made richer, more definitive, for the same reason. i’m incredibly introverted &, honestly, a lot of you below i may never have even approached, but i support you. i support you because between every written line & every thought you form into your characters, you’ve put in your hearts. the beauty of canon roleplaying is the gift of characters crafted by the initial author’s heart, now refined & personalised by a long string of different hearts they have either significantly or passingly touched & influenced. the beauty of original character roleplaying is that your gifts have touched mine, & my vocalisation now is the result of long hours staring wide-eyed at the screen, inspired & amazed & loving of creations brilliant & beautiful in their narrative & intuition. the beauty of you, the writer, is that you are here – on this site or off of it, vibrantly creating wherever you go. words on a page or breath from your lungs, the technicality doesn’t matter. i admire you for your persistence, & i applaud you for your survival.
writing lana has been more than an escape ; it’s been a lesson. in discovering what made commander shepard important to me, i discovered fragments of myself. in my adventure through a character, i found my life significantly changed in my adventure as my own person. i want to write a message to someone in particular before i carry on with the list – all of whom are on it, & all of whom are not, i will also inevitably write personalised messages for, in a venture outside of self-celebratory measure. for now, though, this person has impacted my life like a meteor. her crater is invaluable to me, to this blog, to lana as a character.
@resolutesoldier ; jen, you have made adding another year to my life possible. you have made it something that i look forward to. looking back to the day you came into my life, i don’t know whether to smile or cry. mostly it’s strange, because i feel as though i’ve known you forever. this adventure will always have been worth it if just to meet & know you. you inspire me as a person, as a writer – as a human being who will listen to me into the dark hours as i stumble around trying to find myself, & as someone who i would listen to forever. i can’t caption how much your friendship means to me. every time i think my heart can’t get fuller around you, it does. it will. your james is & always will be irreplaceable to my lana, & you will always be the star that guides me. mostly because one day i’m going to run away & find you in person, & when i do i will be infinitely better than before i knew you. at least, i’ll be someone i like better. & i love you. if you log in & see this sappy note, that’s something you should know most of all. i love you.
& i love all of you. some of you have followed me for so long, you are like family to me. some of you are dear, dear friends. some of you are strangers, but you’re beautiful strangers. you’re people who i want to have good days. you’re people whose virtues i want to trumpet for as long as i have fingers to type, & i will. in the meantime, this is a thank-you. this is a have-a-good-day. this is a virtual hug. you guys are star systems, & as a forever space-struck wanderluster, i will always telescope your writing & consider you poetry.
@adellaenchanted / @travmsoldat, @anivara, @arielshepard / @plasmapriestess, @aureasadrisit / @theeternalsun, @awesomegaydar, @becomesongs, @bioticiisms, @blightedburden, @bloodiedwolf, @burzxm / @urulxce, @bythecode / @protivach, @bythestone, @camillelafaye, @changemeback, @combatsituation / @scottiish, @defenestratio / @withconscience, @daringdevil / @profanemouth, @drippingredledgers, @dushavor / @shadcwpreacher, @fademarking, @fightsthatdragon, @finelendal, @firstdegreefraud / @prophetry, @flamebound, @garmrr, @goodforsiix, @grishildr, @hamndgirig, @honeycrafts / @malckh, @ichorhymn, @ignte, @illvolition / @komihn, @indxstress, @itsalreadynever, @khuravhi, @leadkiss, @manhuntiing / @starhacked / @wctcher, @materxnatura, @matriarkh, @moranument / @vckarian, @mysterynerd / @wondertold, @necrobait, @neonnoise, @nxmphe, @omenbrought, @opheliiacomplex, @ourladyclaire, @ovalbound, @parapsyched, @pariahe, @peacemaiden, @pondelistic, @provocatcur, @purrsuasion, @questionsofmoraliity / @thrownsoul, @seismicfault, @shieldarmed / @vasrea, @shadcwbroker / @thedestrcyer, @silverwilled, @sinninggod, @sorrowedvigil, @spunstories / @toshootfirst, @southronprincess, @spymastcr, @sunbeamiing, @thcrmonuclear, @tomurderandcreate, @totallyamazeballs, @vesvolk, @vhenadhal, @vigiilance, @viiduam, @xnjolras