dardanian

[When he saw his son fall before Achilles, and then saw his body being dragged in the dirt behind the Prince’s chariot,] people had trouble keeping old King Priam from running straight out the Dardanian Gate into the battlefield in his anguish. When he couldn’t get away from those restraining him, in his grief and pain he threw himself into the dungheap by the palace and rolled and writhed about in helpless agony. There he clutched at things and moaned until he finally managed to get up on his knees and started calling on the bystanders by name. “Friends,” he cried, “stop it, stop this, enough! Let me go out there, let me beg that dreadful thug of a man for my son’s body: maybe he’ll feel some shame at the sight of me, maybe he’ll have some pity on an old man! For his father, King Peleus, he’s old like me, the man who sired this awful force of nature and turned it loose to be the ruin of Troy! All the sons of mine he’s killed in their prime, one after another, every day it seems I’ve wound up burying another of them – and I mourn them all, but this one, this one, my Hector–! I couldn’t even hold him in my arms as he died. If he’d died here we could at least have shared his last breaths, wept ourselves dry, mourned him properly. But none of that for us now, not for his mother or for me, not for any of us, O my son…!”
—  (Iliad, book 22, tr. DD)

anonymous asked:

HAAHA ACHILLES FOR THE HEADCANON THING

see this is what i meant when i said this is gonna be a complete joke

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

  • TURN DOWN FOR WHAT are we even kidding. are we. are we
  • ALL I DO IS WIN
  • I DON’T FUCK WITH YOU
  • and of course
  • LIKE A VIRGIN

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

  • like okay i am so conflicted about this entire meme right at this point in time because on one hand i could take this seriously. i could give you a beautiful idyllic tsoa story about how in the olden days in phthia, before achilles started making kebabs out of people, he used to eat so many figs while out in the wild playing his lyre to the wood nymphs and river spirits that he’d fall asleep in the shade until nightfall
  • but instead
  • im gonna say
  • patroclus’ tent, tbh, doing the walk of shame through the entire achaean camp
  • automedon: ‘YOU BETTER NOT HIT IT AND QUIT IT BOSS’
  • 'IVE BEEN HITTING IT FOR TEN YEARS’
  • everyone is listening. everyone has been listening all night.
  • holla

the game they’d destroy everyone else at

  • dodgeball
  • literally every one of those shitty games you had to do in high school p.e.
  • rock climbing on those fake walls where you had to go up and everyone underneath can see up those baggy gym shorts
  • odysseus yells out 'LOOKING GOOD PELIDES' 
  • diomedes follows this up with 'HIGH UP AND DOWNLOW, PATROCLUS’
  • three separate people high five patroclus
  • this has turned into a high school au?????

the emoticon they’d use most often

  • >:(

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

  • okay so we’re reverting back to the b.c.s
  • achilles gets in late one night after having a hella rave with the myrmidons and he needs to catch his zzzs
  • agamemmnon has straight up told him for four whole days right before that he needs to be up and early for a surprise bout with the trojans
  • and while they’re setting up their lines and everyone’s ready to go and achilles is STILL NOT HERE and we NEED YOU FOR MORALE, PELIDES. PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE
  • agamemmnon sends a super passive aggressively pissed message to achilles
  • and all he gets in return is 'don’t fucking tell me what to do, dickhead’
  • achilles rocks up 2 hours later rocking some major bedhead
  • with a starbucks pumpkin spice latte

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

  • literally just fuck him up

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

  • ‘Don’t speak of my parents, dog. I wish the fury and the pain in me could drive me to carve and eat you raw for what you did, as surely as this is true: no living man will keep the dogs from gnawing at your skull, not if men weighed out twenty, thirty times your worth in ransom, and promised even more, not though Dardanian Priam bid them give your weight in gold, not even then will your royal mother lay you on a bier to grieve for you, the son she bore, rather shall dogs, and carrion birds, devour you utterly.’

what they wanted to be when they grew up

  • professional human kebab maker

their favorite kind of weather

  • the kind that comes right after you fake agree to marry a chick so her father could brutally slaughter her on an altar for sailing winds

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

  • well i mean canonically, achilles is that shirtless dude under the tree on campus singing wonderwall
  • so i like to think that while he is not professional material he is at the very least zac efron level in high school musical

how/what they like to draw or doodle

  • mr menoitides <3
  • mr pelides-menoitides <33
  • the pelides-menoitides household <333
  • literally take a step back and fuck your own face, agamemmnon :)