basically I had a silver wristband because i’m a member and so we were first in line and we saw him come out and obviously i freaked out when he came out because he’s so gorgeous, but also because right behind him was Will. and he was recording his baby with chris’ phone and he was recording the crowd and chris kept looking back.
so when it was our groups turn i was basically shitting it cause i knew i was going to forget what i was going to say but i went up and basically the conversation went like this
Chris: hi sweetie.
me: hi there!
him: how are you?
me: oh i’m fine how are you?
and that chatter and i was shaking so much as i slid rose, marissa, and chelsea’s across the table and he was like
“oh, what’s this?"
me: my friends from arizona couldn’t make it so I offered tyo grab them copies
him: oh that’s so sweet.
me: thank you! im so nervous right now i’ve met you three times and my hands are shaking.
him: oh don’t worry you’ve given me plenty of books to sign.
and i started freaking out because hello he remembers me and then alla pointed out chelsea’s card and it was basically like "dear diet coke, personally i think you overreacted a little bit, love mentos” and he started laughing so hard oh my god. and he saw marissa’s cat one and he’s like “He looks just like my cat” and i’m like “Yes, that’s probably why she chose it. she loves cats.” and he’s like “oh, i like her then.”
and then i slid my gift which was basically a pinnochio pin from disneyland and his face lit up just like when i gave him the chewbacca last year.
him: oh my god this is so sweet. he looks just like me.
me: i know that’s why i chose it. it reminded me of you
him: thank you i love it you’re very sweet.
me: no you are oh my god thank you.
him: thank you so much for coming out.
and then i walked away ad as i was walking will smiled at me and i was just like “Hey i love your shoes,” and i waved and he was like “oh thank you so much” and he giggled and blushed and looked at chris before he looked down and i’m actually crying right now.
i’ve been sitting in my room sobbing and shaking for the past whoever knows how long. i couldn’t do it though. i still have so much to work through and so much to get past and i just couldn’t do it. thank you to everyone who sent me messages and texted and called me. I wish i could tag you all and respond to all of you but right now i need to just take a shower and calm down. you all have no idea how much it means to me to come back to this kind of worry and love and care. thank you. thank you for making me believe that i have something to live for, to look forward to.
okay i made a follow forever! i will tag you in this post if you’re in it, but regardless you should go check it out because these fuckers are awesome
but im serious right now: if we talk and we are friends and you aren’t in it, just send me :( or something because i probably meant to include you and didn’t because im dumb AND I WILL ADD YOU OKAY? i just cant think of things