dapper fellows

I Hate Loving You

Request: “Hey there! Could you do a Newt x Reader where they are roommates and at first it’s kind of a love/hate thing but then they fall in love - though they don’t admit it. Then one night the reader brings home a date (because shes trying to move on because she thinks Newt won’t ever want her) and Newt gets jealous and scares him off. Then they finally admit their feelings? Thanks!! X”

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word Count: 1469

Warnings: implied smut

“Newt!” You called out, gripping an empty milk carton in hand. “Newt come here!”

You heard a tussle from the bathroom, and a couple mumbled curses, followed by the rapid slapping of bare feet on tiles.

“Newt, what have I told you abou-“ You paused, suddenly becoming flustered as the shirtless man emerged, his expression anxious. Your eyes lingered around his heaving torso, his toned abdominal muscles contorting gently with his breathing. You chanced a glance down at the towel wrapped around his lower half, your eyes widening in embarrassment as Newt smirked bashfully.

“You were saying?” He uttered gently.

“Just… try not to drink all the milk next time.” You spoke with your eyes cast downward, fingers awkwardly tapping on the marble bench top.

He chuckled, running a freckled hand through his wet locks.

“I’ll do so when you stop eating all of my caramel sweets.”

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just because I feel like it, here’s the DS characters’ commentary on copies of themselves


GENERIC = “Stars and atoms! Are you my doppelganger, %s?”,
ATTACKER = “Yeesh. Do I always look that creepy?”,
MURDERER = “Your existence is an affront to the laws of science, %s!”,
REVIVER = “%s has expertly put our theories into practice.”,
GHOST = “Better concoct a revival device. Can’t leave another man of science floating.”,
FIRESTARTER = “Burning that wasn’t very scientific, %s.”,


GENERIC = “Hey! That’s my face, %s! Give it back!”,
ATTACKER = “You’re makin’ us look nuts, %s!”,
MURDERER = “Murderer! Burn the impostor!”,
REVIVER = “Haha, nice one %s.”,
GHOST = “Is that really what my ghost hair looks like?”,
FIRESTARTER = “Burny twins! High five.”,


GENERIC = “Hello friend %s! We must arm wrestle!”,
ATTACKER = “%s will make a worthy fight!”,
MURDERER = “We will see who is best Wolfgang! Raaa!”,
REVIVER = “%s is nice man. Like me! Ha ha.”,
GHOST = “World needs more %s! I will get heart!”,
FIRESTARTER = “Wolfgang cannot trust even himself not to light fire!”,


GENERIC = “She looks sad…”,
ATTACKER = “%s… she’s no sister of mine.”,
MURDERER = “Have we not seen enough death, %s?”,
REVIVER = “I hope Abigail doesn’t like you more than me…”,
GHOST = “At least a heart could return one sister to this world…”,
FIRESTARTER = “Fire probably isn’t the method I would choose…”,




GENERIC = “Ah, greetings %s! Fancy seeing you here.”,
ATTACKER = “%s’s immoral acts are putting holes in my multiverse speculations.”,
MURDERER = “I am my own worst critic!”,
REVIVER = “Our knowledge comes in handy, doesn’t it, %s?”,
GHOST = “All our self-help books will finally be put to use, hmm %s?”,
FIRESTARTER = “Book burnings are quite gauche, %s.”,


GENERIC = “%s! Fancy seeing another Canadian here.”,
ATTACKER = “%s isn’t a true Canadian…”,
MURDERER = “Hey, c'mere %s! I’ve gotta AXE you question!”,
REVIVER = “%s is a Canadian patriot, eh.”,
GHOST = “Canadians gotta stick together, %s. Let’s get a heart.”,
BEAVER = “Been there, bud.”,
BEAVERGHOST = “You’re gonna have one monster headache after this, buddy.”,
FIRESTARTER = “Those fires are kind of counterproductive now, eh?”,


GENERIC = “Hail, %s, fellow shieldmaiden!”,
ATTACKER = “%s is tempting fate.”,
MURDERER = “There can be only one!”,
REVIVER = “%s, the perfect warrior!”,
GHOST = “You’ll not away to Valhalla without me, %s. A heart!”,
FIRESTARTER = “A fellow Viking, forged in flames!”,


GENERIC = “A spiderfriend! Hi %s!”,
ATTACKER = “Ah! We look scary when we’re mad!”,
MURDERER = “We won’t let you hurt our friends!”,
REVIVER = “%s likes helping ghosts, just like us.”,
GHOST = “Oh no! We should help ourselves!”,
FIRESTARTER = “Spiderfriend, why did you light that fire?”,


GENERIC = “What a dapper fellow!”,
ATTACKER = “I know that look, %s. What are you up to?”,
MURDERER = “Old habits die hard… and so will you!”,
REVIVER = “Trust only yourself, hey %s?”,
GHOST = “I’ll have to pay in blood to bring you back, %s.”,
FIRESTARTER = “Do not blow this for us, %s.”,

Sinister and Rotten

(I wrote a smutty one-shot fic for Vampire!Vanoss and Delirious and this is what happens when I don’t sleep when I’m supposed to.)

Word Count: 3,298

Jonathan enjoys the sinful things in life such as indulging in gay porn and is in fear of his family relations regarding his sexual orientation so he frequents a church to rid himself of sin. However he encounters a handsome devil that makes the temptation so much worse.


Sex, Swearing, Blood/Gore.

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Oswald was perplexed. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking at. It was a pebble for sure, smooth, round, and a gold hue, but he couldn’t for the life of him understand why it was simply sitting on his nightstand. Picking it up, he stared down at it. Why was it here? Holding the odd apparition, he hobbled his way out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen, where he heard the sound of Ed pattering about with the kettle.

‘Ed, you need to be resting,’ Oswald complained, eyeing the angry bruises on Ed’s neck with distaste. He hated knowing that it was his fault Ed had been hurt.

‘I’m fine, Oswald,’ Ed fetched a second teacup from the cupboard and popped a teabag into it for Oswald.

‘How are you feeling?’ Oswald watched him closely for any signs of distress.

‘Very grateful you were there to save me. Again,’ Ed smiled, pouring the water and stirring a dollop of honey into Oswald’s cup for him. ‘Did you like it?’ Ed looked pointedly at the pebble Oswald was still holding.  

‘This was from you?’ Oswald looked at Ed, completely perplexed. ‘Why?’ He took a sip of tea and smiled. Ed always knew how to make it perfectly. Just the way he liked it. It reminded him forcibly of his mother’s tea.

‘I thought you might like it,’ Ed said simply, perching atop one of the kitchen stools to sip at his tea, watching Oswald closely. ‘Do you?’

‘It’s very pretty,’ Oswald looked at the pebble appreciatively. ‘But I still don’t understand why.’ He looked up at Ed, suspicion on his face. ‘This is another riddle, isn’t it?’

‘Merely a gift,’ Ed smiled. ‘So. Mr. Mayor. What are your plans for today?’

‘Oswald,’ Oswald corrected automatically, but really did appreciate Ed calling him by his fancy new title. ‘We only have an appearance at a new restaurant opening tonight to make. The rest of the day is free.’

‘Oh whatever to do with so much free time,’ Ed stood, moving to the sink to clean out his now-empty teacup. ‘Thirty players standing, in formal black and white. A move from one begets one more, until they all begin to fight.’

‘Ed, you know your riddles are too hard for me,’ Oswald complained.

‘Oh come on Oswald, you’re smarter than you think,’ Ed tutted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out another pebble, blue this time and held it out towards Oswald. ‘Like this pebble, there is more to you than meets the eye. Small and smooth, a shining surface, but when thrown, can serve deadly purpose.’

‘What is with all these pebbles?’ Oswald raised an eyebrow when Ed dropped the second one into his palm. ‘What kind of riddle is this?’

‘No riddle here,’ Ed shook his head. ‘Just another gift for my favourite feathered friend.’

‘I’ll admit, I’m a little confused,’ Oswald smiled in spite of it. Ed was odd and way too smart for anyone’s good – but Oswald loved him that way.

‘Do you give up on the riddle?’ Ed asked, looking excited.

‘Sorry, could you repeat it?’

‘Thirty players standing, in formal black and white. A move from one begets one more, until they all begin to fight.’

Oswald thought for a moment, smiling when realisation dawned on him. ‘Chess. You want to play chess with me? I’m afraid I’d be a terrible partner – I’m nowhere near your level, Ed.’

‘Sometimes it’s just about the game and who you play it with,’ Ed shrugged, reaching out to take Oswald’s empty cup from him. ‘But if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’m sure we’ll find another way to spend the day.’

‘No, let’s… have a game,’ Oswald nodded. ‘But please, promise you’ll at least let me get some good moves in.’

‘Oswald, I wouldn’t be surprised if you beat me,’ Ed said quietly, leading the way to the parlour, where he’d spied the old chess set several days before. ‘You’re smarter than you know. Look at how far you’ve come on your cunning alone.’

Oswald smiled and sat down at the set across from Ed, fully prepared to get thoroughly beaten in no time flat.


Oswald strongly suspected Ed had allowed him to win the three of the five games he’d bested Ed; he told his friend so, a little insulted at the notion.

‘I promise you, Oswald, you won by yourself,’ Ed assured him fondly. ‘I cede victory to the King of Gotham,’ reaching into his pocket, he pushed a small green pebble across the table at him. ‘A token for the victor.’

Another one?’ Oswald huffed. ‘Where did you even find these? And what do you mean by them?’

‘Simply gifts,’ Ed shrugged. ‘Tokens of gratitude and… affection.’

‘Oh come on now, give me a hint,’ Oswald pleaded. ‘I really don’t know what you mean by these.’

‘I can start a war or end one, I can give you the strength of heroes or leave you powerless, I might be snared with a glance, but no force can compel me to stay,’ Ed said after a moment’s thought.

‘Did you just make that up on the spot?’ Oswald was impressed.

‘Sometimes you need to do some quick thinking for repeat performances,’ Ed said quietly. He clapped his hands together. ‘I think it’s time to get smartened up for the restaurant opening, don’t you think?’

‘If you want to look very smart, you should certainly wear that green suit you picked out at the tailor’s the other day,’ Oswald smiled. ‘It’s lovely.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind,’ Ed smiled, reaching into his pocket once again and handing over another pebble, slightly larger than the rest and a bright purple this time. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

Oswald stared down at the pebble, turning it over in his hands. Anything. Was etched into the bottom in beautiful looping script. ‘Anything for me?’ Oswald whispered to the pebble. He was growing more confused by this whole situation as more and more pebbles found their way into his pocket. He turned to leave to parlour when his eyes fell upon a book sitting on the small spindly table next to the chair Oswald knew Ed liked to read in. Curious, he hobbled over and opened it to the marked page, nearly dropping the book in shock when he read the passage there.

Certain species of penguins have been known to follow an elaborate courtship process using pebbles. Male penguins will select a variety of pebbles with which to attempt to woo their prospective mate. Generally a larger and smoother pebble will win a penguin a better mate with which to spend its life. Once the mate has accepted the offered pebble, they begin to construct their nest, while of course exhibiting typical courtship behaviour such as preening and grooming.

Oswald put the book back down and pulled out the small collection of pebbles Ed had presented him. Was he really trying to court Oswald? Oswald felt warmed form head to toe at the thought. Perhaps he would need to start paying more attention to the things Ed said to him. Resolving to prod a little during dinner, Oswald made his way up to his bedroom to change.


‘Your lapel is crooked,’ Ed murmured, reaching out to straighten Oswald’s jacket. He fluffed the pocket square at Oswald’s left breast pocket and smiled. ‘There, perfect.’

‘I see you decided on the green one,’ Oswald looked Ed up and down, feeling his breath catch at the sight of Ed in that beautiful dark emerald colour.

‘You were right, it really does suit me,’ Ed smiled.

‘I’ll say, you really are looking the dapper fellow,’ Oswald grinned. ‘Shall we?’ he held out his arm.

‘Let’s shall,’ Ed entwined his arm with Oswald’s and allowed him to lead him out towards the car.


‘The wine is exquisite,’ Oswald complimented as the waiter came to collect their empty dishes and ask them how their meal went. ‘You’ve really got a wonderful little restaurant here.’

‘Thank you sir, I’ll be sure to let the boss know,’ the young man gave a small, nervous nod of his head and bustled off towards the kitchen.

‘Lovely evening,’ Ed drained his glass of wine, watching Oswald closely. ‘It’s good to see you enjoying the perks of mayorhood. You deserve it.’

‘You deserve some of those perks as well, I’d say,’ Oswald smiled. ‘You’ve been so good to me, Ed, and you’ve done so much for me. You saved my life, you’ve kept me sane, you’ve helped me reach where I am today. I will forever be grateful.’

‘Oswald,’ Ed said quietly, fidgeting with his napkin. ‘You did this all yourself. You’re incredible. You need to be able to see that.’

‘You see, Ed, I’ve been reading up about penguins,’ Oswald noticed how Ed stilled, like a deer caught off guard. ‘It would appear they present pebbles to other penguins they want to court.’

‘I love a good tidbit of interesting knowledge,’ Ed said quietly, barely moving more than necessary as Oswald’s money was shooed away by the owner and they left the restaurant, settling in together in the darkened back seat of the car.

‘What I mean to say is,’ Oswald said finally as the car began the drive back home. ‘I’d like to accept those pebbles, Ed.’ Oswald reached into his pocket, pulling out what looked like a bunched up handkerchief. He handed it to Ed, who accepted it with a trembling hand.

He pulled away the cloth to reveal what appeared to be a brilliant emerald. ‘Oswald this…’ Ed fell silent, lost for words. ‘Where did you get this?’ he was able to ask finally.

‘I’ve had it for a while now,’ Oswald smiled. ‘I was wondering what to do with it, and I think I’ve finally found its purpose.’

Ed closed his hand around the emerald, an odd lump in still sore throat. He turned to Oswald, who was watching him with nothing but love and affection in his eyes. Without pause or thought, he leaned down, pressing his lips to Oswald’s. ‘I accept this pebble, my Mr. Penguin.’

Oswald smiled and rested his head against Ed’s shoulder as the car drifted smoothly through the streets of the city, his city, the city he intended to share with Ed. He could only imagine the amount of beautiful pebbles they could find for each other while they ruled the flock of Gotham together. Oswald could hardly wait to find out.


Ok! I’m all caught up!

First time drawing Sunday, Kuiper and Dap for real, so this was new!

Days 18(Kuiper), 17 (Father Time), 16 (Dap), and 15(Sunday) for @nebulaenerd‘s drawing challenge! (Click for captions)

I hope Deo likes these! (P.S the chalk tool makes REALLY good space)

Stay strong during those tests Space Nerd! We believe in you!