danweller

AN UNEXPECTED LIVE-SHOW // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: fluff, domestic fluff

Words: 8.7k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: swearing 

Summary: YouTube Notification: danisnotinteresting is now LIVE! / A.k.a. A Dan and Phil joint live-show that no one was expecting

A/N: This is an experiment and more of a character study than a fic :D

I wrote this as a Dan and Phil character study, but it ended up turning out much longer and much cuter than originally intended, so I felt compelled to post it for you guys :3 But, yeah, do keep in mind that this was written as a character study :3

And it’s also written in the same style as “SURPRISING AMAZINGPHIL!”, so it’s in a script-format. 

It’s also written in conjunction with “A Mutual Agreement”, “See You Smile Again”, and “I’ll Never Let You Go”, so if you want to read those first, you can, but I’m pretty sure you all can read it as a stand-alone. 

That was a long explanation lol but I hope you all enjoy :D

(And I’ll go back to posting requests tomorrow)

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anonymous asked:

Hi! How are you? I don't remember well but is it mentioned in ASOIAF that Nymeria &the wolf pack are hurting smallfolks/travelers or hunting their cattle? I could be wrong but the wolves are seen as menace by some dwellers&travelers? I think there was something in Brienne's POV in Feast but I'm not sure. Would be grateful if you could comment on that

Hey Anon! I am doing well, thank you so much for asking :)

From what I can remember, I think there are four instances like what you are specifically referring to where POV characters hear/are told about a direwolf pack causing trouble. 

1) Arya hears about a wolf pack led by a huge female wolf during her march north with Yoren in ACoK:

“It’s been a bad year for wolves,” volunteered a sallow man in a travel-stained green cloak. “Around the Gods Eye, the packs have grown bolder'n anyone can remember. Sheep, cows, dogs, makes no matter, they kill as they like, and they got no fear of men. It’s worth your life to go into those woods by night.”

“Ah, that’s more tales, and no more true than the other.”

“I heard the same thing from my cousin, and she’s not the sort to lie,” an old woman said. “She says there’s this great pack, hundreds of them, mankillers. The one that leads them is a she-wolf, a bitch from the seventh hell.”

(….)

The man in the green cloak said, “I heard how this hellbitch walked into a village one day … a market day, people everywhere, and she walks in bold as you please and tears a baby from his mother’s arms. When the tale reached Lord Mooton, him and his sons swore they’d put an end to her. They tracked her to her lair with a pack of wolfhounds, and barely escaped with their skins. Not one of those dogs came back, not one.”

— ACoK, Chapt. 5, Arya II

2) The example I think you were referring to in AFfC, where Septon Meribald tells Brienne about a great pack of hundreds of wolves led by a “monstrous she-wolf, a stalking shadow grim and grey and huge” (aka NYMERIA AF!) seen around the Trident:

“Dog keeps me safe upon the roads, even in such trying times as these. Neither wolf nor outlaw dare molest me when Dog is at my side.” The septon frowned. “The wolves have grown terrible of late. There are places where a man alone would do well to find a tree to sleep in. In all my years the biggest pack I ever saw had fewer than a dozen wolves in it, but the great pack that prowls along the Trident now numbers in the hundreds.”

“Have you come on them yourself?” Ser Hyle asked.

“I have been spared that, Seven save me, but I have heard them in the night, and more than once. So many voices … a sound to curdle a man’s blood. It even set Dog to shivering, and Dog has killed a dozen wolves.” He ruffled the dog’s head. “Some will tell you that they are demons. They say the pack is led by a monstrous she-wolf, a stalking shadow grim and grey and huge. They will tell you that she has been known to bring aurochs down all by herself, that no trap nor snare can hold her, that she fears neither steel nor fire, slays any wolf that tries to mount her, and devours no other flesh but man.”

— AFfC, Chapt. 25, Brienne V

3) Danwell Frey complains to Jaime about the growing number of wolves in the Riverlands in AFfC:

After the toast Lady Amerei stopped weeping and the table talk turned to wolves, of the four-footed kind. Ser Danwell Frey claimed there were more of them about than even his grandfather could remember. “They’ve lost all fear of men. Packs of them attacked our baggage train on our way down from the Twins. Our archers had to feather a dozen before the others fled.” Ser Addam Marbrand confessed that their own column had faced similar troubles on their way up from King’s Landing.

— AFfC, Chapt. 30, Jaime IV

4) Also in AFfC, Ser Dermot tells Jaime about finding hundreds of wolves near Riverrun led by a “she-wolf of monstrous size” and Jaime ~specifically~ wonders if it could be Nymeria:  

The next day Ser Dermot of the Rainwood returned to the castle, empty-handed. When asked what he’d found, he answered, “Wolves. Hundreds of the bloody beggars.” He’d lost two sentries to them. The wolves had come out of the dark to savage them. “Armed men in mail and boiled leather, and yet the beasts had no fear of them. Before he died, Jate said the pack was led by a she-wolf of monstrous size. A direwolf, to hear him tell it. The wolves got in amongst our horse lines too. The bloody bastards killed my favorite bay.”

“A ring of fires round your camp might keep them off,” said Jaime, though he wondered. Could Ser Dermot’s direwolf be the same beast that had mauled Joffrey near the crossroads?

— AFfC, Chapt. 44, Jaime VII

As far as commenting on it, I suppose it depends on what you were looking for; but here are my thoughts for what they are worth… I definitely think the “giant she-wolf” is Nymeria, and that she is the alpha of the pack people have spotted. I also think it’s particularly important that not only have other characters besides Arya seen and mentioned the direwolf, but that Nymeria and her pack are doing something distinct and notable: causing problems in places, and for people, who are affiliated with enemies of the North and anti-Stark forces.  

I think there is some really clear and heavy symbolism present that could be indicative of Arya becoming “alpha” of her own “wolf pack,” and potentially becoming a leader/commander of some form of Stark/Northern forces. Nymeria’s namesake was a warrior queen, a skilled general and fierce commander, who led her people on a dangerous journey to safety in Essos after the Rhoyne was conquered by the Valyrian Freehold and their dragons. Nymeria of Rhoynar also played an (obviously) integral role in Nymeria’s War, the campaign where she and her husband, Mors Martell, conquered the various kings of Dorne and united the land under the rule of their combined house, House Nymeros Martell. Now Nymeria the direwolf is also a strong leader and the commander of her own forces, the wolf pack. There is so much about leadership, loyalty, courage, and the “strength of the pack” woven into Arya’s narrative. Additionally, her time with the Faceless Men has taught her so much about discipline, strategy, and resourcefulness, and has helped her to really hone her mental dexterity. I could definitely see all of this as foreshadowing for Arya becoming an effective and formidable leader/commander in her own right. 

I also think it’s more than possible that, like Nymeria, Arya will raise a little hell for enemies of House Stark and the people who betrayed her family. 

Frey Succession

So my earlier answer on Frey descendants made me want to draw up an ordered succession for the whole Frey line, as it stands at the end of ADWD/beginning of TWOW (spoilers for the Theon sample chapter). This is a list of all known dynasts of Lord Walder’s line, not including those dead by ADWD/TWOW, those ineligible to inherit (like fifth son Septon Luceon), unborn children (like Joyeuse Erenford’s child), and obviously Walder’s bastard children. 

  1. Edwyn Frey (firstborn son of Lord Walder’s eldest son Stevron’s eldest son, Ryman) 
  2. Walda Frey (Edwyn’s only daughter) 
  3. “Black” Walder Frey (second son of Ryman) 
  4. Perra Frey (daughter of Petyr Frey, third son of Ryman)
  5. Walton Frey (third son of Stevron) 
  6. Steffon Frey (elder son of Walton) 
  7. Bryan Frey (younger son of Walton) 
  8. "Fair” Walda Frey (only daughter of Walton)
  9. Walder Vance* (elder son of Stevron’s daughter Maegelle) 
  10. Patrek Vance* (Maegelle’s younger son) 
  11. Marianne Vance* (Maegelle’s daughter) 
  12. Emmon Frey (second son of Walder Frey) 
  13. Tywin Frey (elder son of Emmon’s eldest son Cleos) 
  14. Willem Frey (Cleos’ second son) 
  15. Lyonel Frey (second son of Emmon) 
  16. "Red” Walder Frey (third son of Emmon) 
  17. Aegon Frey** (elder son of Lord Walder’s third son Aenys) 
  18. Robert Frey (elder son of Aenys’ second son Rhaegar) 
  19. Jonos Frey (younger son of Rhaegar) 
  20. "White” Walda Frey (daughter of Rhaegar) 
  21. Zachery Frey (son of Tytos Frey, only son of Lord Walder’s fourth son Jared) 
  22. Zia Frey (daughter of Tytos) 
  23. Kyra Frey* (daughter of Jared) 
  24. Walder Goodbrook* (son of Kyra) 
  25. Jeyne Goodbrook* (daughter of Kyra) 
  26. Hosteen Frey (Lord Walder’s sixth son) 
  27. Arwood Frey (only son of Hosteen) 
  28. Androw Frey*** (twin son of Arwood) 
  29. Alyn Frey*** (twin son of Arwood) 
  30. Ryelle Frey (elder daughter of Arwood) 
  31. Hostella Frey (younger daughter of Arwood) 
  32. Alesander Frey (elder son of Lord Walder’s seventh son, Symond) 
  33. Bradamar Frey (younger son of Symond) 
  34. Alyx Frey (daughter of Symond) 
  35. Danwell Frey (Lord Walder’s eighth son) 
  36. Amerei Frey* (eldest daughter of Lord Walder’s ninth son, Merrett) 
  37. "Fat” Walda Frey* (second daughter of Merrett) 
  38. Marissa Frey (third daughter of Merrett) 
  39. Sandor Frey (son of Lord Walder’s tenth son Geremy) 
  40. Cynthea Frey (daughter of Geremy)
  41. Raymund Frey (Lord Walder’s eleventh son) 
  42. Malwyn Frey (eldest dynastic son of Raymund) 
  43. Jaime Frey*** (younger twin son of Raymund) 
  44. Tywin Frey*** (younger twin son of Raymund) 
  45. Serra Frey*** (twin daughter of Ramynd) 
  46. Sarra Frey*** (twin daughter of Raymund) 
  47. Cersei Frey (youngest daughter of Raymund) 
  48. Lothar Frey (Lord Walder’s twelfth son) 
  49. Tysane Frey (eldest daughter of Lothar) 
  50. Walda Frey (second daughter of Lothar) 
  51. Emberlei Frey (third daughter of Lothar)
  52. Leana Frey (fourth daughter of Lothar) 
  53. Jammos Frey (Lord Walder’s thirteenth son)
  54. "Big” Walder Frey (Jammos’ eldest son) 
  55. Dickon Frey*** (younger twin son of Jammos) 
  56. Mathis Frey*** (younger twin son of Jammos) 
  57. Whalen Frey (Lord Walder’s fourteenth son) 
  58. Hoster Frey (son of Whalen)
  59. Merianne Frey (daughter of Whalen)
  60. Perwyn Frey (Lord Walder’s fifteenth son)
  61. Osmund Frey (son of Lord Walder’s sixteenth son Benfrey)
  62. Della Frey (daughter of Benfrey) 
  63. Olyvar Frey (Lord Walder’s eighteenth son) 
  64. Wendel Frey (Lord Walder’s nineteenth son) 
  65. Colmar Frey (Lord Walder’s twentieth son) 
  66. Waltyr Frey (Lord Walder’s twenty-first son) 
  67. Elmar Frey (Lord Walder’s twenty-second son) 
  68. Perriane Frey* (Lord Walder’s eldest daughter) 
  69. Harys Haigh* (eldest son of Perriane) 
  70. Walder Haigh* (son of Harys)
  71. Donnel Haigh* (second son of Perriane) 
  72. Alyn Haigh* (third son of Perriane) 
  73. Lythene Frey* (Lord Walder’s second daughter) 
  74. Damon Vypren* (son of Lythene) 
  75. Elyana Vypren* (daughter of Lythene) 
  76. Rickard Wylde* (son of Elyana)
  77. Morya Frey* (Lord Walder’s third daughter)
  78. Robert Brax* (eldest son of Morya) 
  79. Walder Brax* (second son of Morya) 
  80. Jon Brax* (third son of Morya) 
  81. Tyta Frey (Lord Walder’s fourth daughter) 
  82. Roslin Frey (Lord Walder’s fifth daughter) 
  83. Arwyn Frey (Lord Walder’s sixth daughter) 
  84. Shirei Frey (Lord Walder’s seventh daughter) 

*Assuming that female Freys who marry other lines don’t surrender their inheritance rights to the Twins - probably not, but a note here in case 

**Aegon “Bloodborn” is currently an outlaw, which might mean he’s no longer in the succession of the Twins, but since we know almost nothing about him, I included him where he would be all things being equal 

 ***Depending on which twin is the elder, these places might be reversed

@meryllfrey

Meryll had been in the capital with her Uncle Danwell for nearly a week when her Uncle was summoned to parley with Lord Tywin. Somehow, Meryll had talked him into letting her stay at the Inn while he was a guest in the Red Keep. In fact, he had agreed so quickly that Meryll suspected he hadn’t really wanted her to go with him anyway.

It gave her ample opportunity to explore the city unchaperoned and she was just returning from one of her adventures when she nearly tripped over the girl sleeping outside the door to her room.

“Teth?” Meryll asked, surprised to see the girl she had met selling flower wreaths at the tourney. “What are you doing here?”

Tethar recognized the voice, but couldn’t put a name to it until she looked up. “Meryll.” she said, pushing a smile onto her lips. “Hello.” she gave a small wave with her hand from the floor. 

She was in agonizing pain. The client had bought out her time for the whole night, and taken her out of the brothel. She should have known his intentions were cruel, hardly anyone felt the need to bring a whore to their room in an inn when there was plenty of space for all manner of depraved deeds in the brothel. Some men had a fantasy of enjoying punishing girls, but others- like this one- Teth felt like she was taking someone very specific’s place. He had whipped her bloody, poured soapy water up her bottom, made her hold it there while he beat her, then cleaned her out with cold, clear water so that he could take her without making a mess. Her nerves were screaming in pain. 

“Please don’t make me move.” She whimpered, her desire to appear strong and fine  overcome with the idea of having to get up and leave this hallway. 

Boer Zoekt Vrouw 2015, Aflevering 3: Een lesbische Mary Poppins, de autosleutels in een fruitschaal, de Vinex en een erotische supersoaker.

Ik heb na afloop van deze Boer Zoekt Vrouw mijn oogbollen in de Glorix gehangen om dat wat we aan het einde van deze aflevering zagen. Dat met Geert. Dat. Met dat gesmak. Al hadden we het natuurlijk wel aan kunnen zien komen. Want holy moly. Dave Roelvink schudt meewarig het hoofd wanneer hij Geert aan het werk ziet. Zo erg is het inmiddels al. 

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Out of a Screen

AN: A fic made of texts I can’t remember the name if there is one

Summary: Dan finds a number on a wall and he’s bored so hey why not text it and see what happens?

Warnings: None I think

Mainly fluff, tiniest bit of angst, but not really…

August 2009
From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Sup

From: Unknown Number
To: Dan
Sky

From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Well aren’t you a smart ass

From: Unknown Number
To: Dan
Well aren’t you a stranger

From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Fair point, actually. Should I start again and forget this ever happened?

From: Unknown Number
To: Dan
Yeah that might be a good idea.

From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Right okay.

From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Hi my name is Dan and I found your number on a porn site and I was bored so I was like hey why not text it.

From: Unknown Number
To: Dan
What?

From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Fine it was on a wall but me being bored still stands.

From: Unknown Number
To: Dan
I was gonna say! It’d never be on a porn site, it’s all fluffy unicorns over here.

From: Dan
To: Unknown Number
Right…and who are YOU?

From: Unknown Number
To: Dan
Hi I’m Phil and I just randomly received a text from an even more random stranger at 2am, and you will decide if you still want to know me by the end of this conversation.

October 2009
From: Phil
To: Dan
You free tmrw?

From: Dan
To: Phil
As in, to meet? Are you serious?

From: Phil
To: Dan
Why wouldn’t I be? :)

To: Dan
From: Phil
Then yes yes yes

February 2010
From: Dan
To: Phil <3
You have no idea how happy I am right now.
March 2010
From: Phil <3
To: Dan
I love you x

From: Dan
To: Phil <3
I love you too x

May 2011
From: Phil <3
To: Dan
What would you say if I said I was right outside your window rn?

From: Dan
To: Phil <3
I’d say do I have to get out of bed it’s 1am

From: Dan
To: Phil <3
You’re not actually outside are yo- YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

From: Phil <3
To: Dan
Surprise?

From: Phil <3
To: Dan
Can you quit staring and let me in pls, it’s cold out here.

September 2012
From: Phil <3
To: Dan
I can hear you from my room. Dan, it’s 5am, go to sleep. And if you can’t, come cuddle with me?

From: Dan
To: Phil <3
Can we do that more often? Like, if I never sleep in my own bed again would you mind?

From: Phil <3
To: Dan
But then you’d have to sleep with me…
Hmmmm
I think I could cope ;)

January 2013
From: Dan
To: Phil
I am so so sorry

From: Dan
To: Phil
I can’t believe I did that

From: Dan
To: Phil
Please

From: Dan
To: Phil
The only wrong person is me and I don’t know how I could ruin you I would understand if you never talked to me again

August 2014
From: Dan
To: Phil
Have you got the flowers? Oh god I can’t believe I put you in charge of anything for our wedding oh god

From: Dan
To: Phil
HAVE YOU GOT THEM

From: Phil
To: Dan
It’s okay, I’ve got them, I’m on my way now x

From: Dan
To: Phil
ABOUT TIME

From: Dan
To: Phil
I am never putting you in charge of the cake that’s for sure

March 2015
From: Phil
To: Dan
Have you picked Maisie up yet? Does it really take you this long to fill in the forms? Dannnnn

February 2030
From: Dad
To: Maisie
Please come home soon your father has me trapped on the sofa watching Buffy again