During freshman year of college I roomed with my cousin and our friend Dan. The three of us happened to be quite the marijuana enthusiasts and enjoyed smoking…a lot. As great a luxury cannabis is, it wasn’t cheap, especially to three college kids. So naturally, when we wanted to smoke together we’d all chip in an equal sized nug so no one ended up getting short-changed and to obviously save a little cash here and there. As time went on, Dan began to run out of money due to his constant smoking. No money=no weed. So what went from rolling a spliffs everyday suddenly became smashing bowls and scraping resin off the shards of glass and mixing it with tobacco to get high. In our very small and cramped room, I had a mason jar filled with a baggie of my weed hidden in a spot that NO ONE (I thought) knew about. After class one day, I wanted to sit back and enjoy a smoke when I pulled my stash out of the hiding spot to find that the weed was missing. Instantly, I knew Dan did the dirty deed. My cousin wasn’t struggling too bad financially at the time so it couldn’t have been him. But before I pointed any fingers, I decided to wait it out and be 100% positive.
During freshman year of college I roomed with my cousin and our
friend Dan. The three of us happened to be quite the marijuana
enthusiasts and enjoyed smoking…a lot. As great a luxury cannabis is,
it wasn’t cheap, especially to three college kids. So naturally, when we
wanted to smoke together we’d all chip in an equal sized nug so no one
ended up getting short-changed and to obviously save a little cash here
and there. As time went on, Dan began to run out of money due to his
constant smoking. No money=no weed. So what went from rolling a spliffs
everyday suddenly became smashing bowls and scraping resin off the
shards of glass and mixing it with tobacco to get high. In our very
small and cramped room, I had a mason jar filled with a baggie of my
weed hidden in a spot that NO ONE (I thought) knew about. After class
one day, I wanted to sit back and enjoy a smoke when I pulled my stash
out of the hiding spot to find that the weed was missing. Instantly, I
knew Dan did the dirty deed. My cousin wasn’t struggling too bad
financially at the time so it couldn’t have been him. But before I
pointed any fingers, I decided to wait it out and be 100% positive.
When Dan came back after class, I noticed he was more nervous than
usual and didn’t make eye contact with me when we were shooting the shit
. Red flag 1. Per usual, he’d throw his jacket on the floor, like he
did with any other piece of clothing, and started to make ramen noodles.
While he was busy, I slowly lifted the jacket with my foot to reveal
the top of a baggy with a few nugs poking out of the inside pocket. Red
flag 2. I’m not a big fan of thieves, so I decided to get my revenge on
Dan in a very petty way. Just to let you all know, Dan is a very
gullible human being and tends to believe anything, even if it’s a
little far fetched…
One day, my roommates and I planned on having a Netflix night with a
bunch of our friends later on in the week. Me being me, saw this as an
excellent opportunity to do something devilish, but “What devilish thing
should I do?” At the time, there was an Iphone app called Xbox
Smartglass that had just come out (I think). Basically, one would log in
their Xbox Live account information, connect their phone to the Xbox,
and control basic things like direction (think directional pad) and
clicking the “A” or “B” buttons.
With this newfound information, I knew exactly what I was going to do, but had to bank on doing it right.
The Netflix night comes and all 10 of us are outside finishing up a
spliff before we head back in. I, however, excused myself early to go to
the “bathroom”. During this time, I quickly went inside my room, turned
my Xbox on, connected my phone to Smartglass, and left it on my bed (it
would disconnect if you were too far away). A few moments pass and we
are all jam-packed into the room. Dan and I had bunk beds on the right
side of the room. He had the top bunk and I had the bottom. My cousin,
Gucci, had his own bed on the left side of the room. Everyone else was
squeezed in the middle. What’s perfect about my position is that I could
conceal my phone very well with no one being the wiser.
Dan had the controller and began sifting through possible movies to
watch. I started off with clicking to the right, left, up, and down
every so often making it appear that Dan was fucking around with the
“Yo Rivy, I think your controller is busted.” said Dan.
I obviously told him it wasn’t and that he’s scrolling through everything too fast.
So I continued to fuck around more and more until I started moving
everything faster and faster. Naturally people were like, “Dan! Stop
being a dick!” He responded by letting go of the controller to show that
it wasn’t him and everything was indeed moving on it’s own. Everyone
was confused. This being the right moment, I stopped for a few
seconds….then slowly shifted down to the “Horror” section, scrolled to
the right until I saw the movie conveniently titled “Hell” and clicked
Everyone screamed and hollered. Dan jumped out of his bunk, nearly
crashing into everyone, and ripped the plug right out of the Xbox. As
he turned back, I could see the look of true fear in his eyes. Everyone
was scared shitless and the commotion caught the attention of the RA. It
was painfully hard trying not to laugh during this whole ordeal.
Our room was the talk for the entire week. Dan was going around
telling everyone, “Yo man, our Xbox is fucking haunted/possessed…”
From friends, to classmates, RA’s and even the hall janitor, Dan told
EVERYONE. He was so infatuated and scared, I decided to keep going with
it. It got so crazy that Dan, and I swear to God I’m not lying, would
talk directly to the Xbox as if it was a person. He’d ask it questions
like “Who are you?” “Are you a kind spirit?” “Can you communicate
through other forms of technology?”
This was absolute gold.
Before you know it, I started communicating with Dan by typing on the
keyboard for Xbox live messaging. I got more daring and wrote words
I also wrote places he would be that day, clothes he was wearing, people he knew, etc.
He was too busy freaking out that he never took a moment to logically
think about the whole situation. Never in my wildest dreams could I
imagine pranking someone this bad….especially with an inanimate object. I
do want to note that my cousin found out about my prank/revenge due to
the fact that he saw “Smartglass Connected” pop up on the Xbox
dashboard. I told him everything and he promised not interfere and
encouraged me to continue on :).
One day after class, I walked into my room to find Dan sitting
upright on his bunk staring into space. I asked him what’s up and he
went on about how scared he was and how he believed someone was hacking
the Xbox and sending him threatening messages. He also believed that
whoever was doing it was also hacking the webcam too (lol). Dan went on
and on and even considered calling the cops (yikes). Realizing how out
of hand this was getting, I stopped fucking with him for a little while.
Overall, I kept my vengeful prank a secret for a few months before I
finally told him. He was livid at me and firmly believed someone….or
something was out to get him. But he did admit to stealing my weed and
soon paid me back. A word to the wise, never steal from someone, you
never know what appliance will become possessed and haunt you ;)
TL;DR: College roommate stole weed from me. I got my revenge by making him believe our Xbox was haunted.
Okay, I know you guys have all seen this, but I backlogged through the A/P tags on tumblr and saw it twice without credit. So I’m going to post it again for my own convenience. It’s by the artist, Dan Hipp, who I believe keeps this Pintrest page.
And I wanted to add that I found this during a time when I wasn’t looking for A/P art. To my delight it was posted on the last website I would ever expect to find it on, due to prequel bashing. I was pleasantly surprised and touched. There was some good after all.
With the recent boom of my analysis of The Urge, and with a request to do Phil’s fanfiction story in TABINOF, I decided to give it a whirl. I wanted initially to steer away from Phil’s masterpiece because it’s so abstract,
BUT after reading/listening to it again, I just… I don’t even know where to start with this one because it’s just like Phil’s mind: all over the place.
Buckle up everyone it’s a wild ride. (There’s a TLDR near the bottom if you don’t have time or want all the details)
With The Hand it’s tricky because it’s so random. But, with the first few lines it started to make sense how I could do this: “Phil woke up covered in sweat and screaming. He wiped his muscular brow as he got out of bed. That nightmare had been something else. ‘Weird’ he said, as he did his morning routine of 300 sit ups.”
So let’s start here, as this is where Phil’s story starts. Because “The Hand” isn’t merely a weird story at all, it, was in fact, a dream. Or moreover a nightmare. Phil is writing about a dream he had. OR an interpretation of a dream. So, I’m going to analyze this like I would analyze my own dreams.
~~HOLD ON TIGHT BECAUSE IT LITERALLY GOES ALL OVER THE PLACE~~
His dream stars as he says “weird”, because if you wake up covered in sweat and screaming, you’re going to relive it. He dreamed that he did 300 sit ups. Which, according to a dream analysis calculator, suggest that you need to pay better attention to something in your life, like a relationship, work, family, or project.
And guess what the next paragraph is, “Dan was already in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast of bacon pancakes with extra maple syrup.” To dream about pancakes represents gratification and pleasure in your current situation. You take pleasure and comfort in the simple things of life. (how sweet…haha pun)
“Oh hey D-Slice!’ said Phil, back flipping in to the room and high fiving his friend in mid air” Doing back flips suggest that you are going out of your way to help or please someone. To see a friend signifies aspect of your personality that you have rejected, but ready to incorporate and acknowledge. Those relationships are important as they help key to knowledge to learn about yourself. (THIS IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW)
“‘What’s wrong?’ Phil asked as a bead of sweat dripped off his forehead and bounced off of the mutant finger protruding out of his body.
‘Your body! Something’s happening to you!’ said Dan.
Phil looked down in horror to see a human hand was starting to grow out of his chest. Just below the nipple. It wasn’t just growing, it was moving.’”
Phil Lester you weird being. With this significant part I had to get picky because putting “hand that comes out of chest” weirdly enough doesn’t show up in the dictionary. So I looked up the meaning of a hand that wasn’t his own, what his own chest symbolized, and what happened if it was coming out of your chest.
To see disembodied hand(s) (I’m allowing this because technically it is a random hand who he doesn’t yet know who it belongs to) indicates that you are not getting your point of view across. You are not being understood or someone is not understanding you.
To see your chest in your dream signifies confidence, conquest and vitality. Alternatively, it represents feelings of being overwhelmed and being dangerously confronted by something. Consider also if the dream is telling you that there is something that you need to “get off your chest”.
To connect the two together, basically the hand coming out of Phil’s chest is symbolic for something he’s really proud of, but no one understands it. He wishes in a way that he could describe it better or even let it go, aka “get it off your chest”
“In shock, Dan dropped the syrupy spatula onto his leather jeans and ruined them forever. No more leather jeans for Dan.” Phil Lester. You kinky little bugger. Leather pants suggest that you are questioning your role in some situation. The leather refers to your instinctual and animalistic nature. It may also have sexual connotations.
And basically with this and Dan ruining his leather pants means that Phil wants control over the sexy times. Go Figure.
“‘We need to call the army!’ He told his raven haired friend.
‘Dan no! They’ll experiment on me. I don’t want to die!’ Phil said, as he let out a single tear, not afraid to show emotion in front of his true best friend.”
I roll my eyes every time I read that sentence he’s so extra. Showing emotion in a dream signifies the negativity that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself.
And if you tie in everything from above, he’s upset because no one is understanding him. It’s a fight for himself.
“They decided to keep it a secret. Over the next few weeks the hand grew and grew. Phil continued to make YouTube videos, he just wouldn’t film below the nipple. He had to keep this a secret from everyone.”
If you’re good at reading in between the lines, you already know what this is even about. But to analyze it anyway: A secret represents hidden power. And in the “real” life, what does Phil actually have a secret of that he has the power of hiding? Don’t think too hard you already know the answer. Also it goes into note that he’s doing YouTube videos, so I looked up camera and it goes with the fear of what’s behind the hidden power, Everyone is watching you.
“Dan and Phil even taught the hand some of their best friend secret handshakes. It was responding to the fun. When they watched ‘Game of Thrones’ the hand even started twitching with glee.” Handshakes resemble a new beginning or an ending to a situation. You have reached an agreement or a decision to a problem. Is this possibly foreshadowing??
“Later that month, something unexpected happened. Dan and Phil were finishing another pancake session the hand started violently vibrating.
‘DAN HELP!’ Phil screamed as the hand started gesticulating wildly. Dan could only stand and as the hand started to extend out of Phil’s chest. The hand was reaching for Dan. Instinctively he started pulling it and something happened that none of the British boys would ever expect.
After a few pulls there wasn’t just a hand, there was an arm and an elbow. An entire human was being dragged out of the inside of Phil – he was giving birth.”
This picture I have to include it just makes me giggle.
Lots of key notes happen in this section of text so advert your eyes if you don’t want to be mildly disgusted or incredibly sad.
Vibration of the hand indicates a sexual need for completion (I fucking can’t like Phil why…) Giving birth to something that is not a baby, and if you are not expecting, refers to your fear in the outcome of some decision or project. You are trying to overcome difficulties in your life and achieve inner development. It implies that your inner creative energy has yet to blossom and grow into expression. You may have some hesitation in releasing this “monster” for fear that others will judge you or that they will not accept your ideals.
And because this takes place in the kitchen (because places have symbolism too) indicates your need for warmth, spiritual nourishment and/or some emotional healing.
“There was a giant wet explosion. All that was left of Phil was a lump of skin. And there standing in the kitchen, was a completely naked Harry Styles.
Dan gave him a pepper pot to cover his modesty, ‘Thanks for pulling me out of there mate!’ said Harry as he grabbed a pancake from the pan and walked out of the door. Dan looked into the middle distance. His face was no longer filled with confusion. No longer filled with horror. It was filled with revenge.
To be Continued.”
To see a naked celebrity suggests that you need to learn to not be afraid of rejection. Consider what the celebrity is famous or known for. Something in the waking life triggered these similar beliefs and feelings. To basically tie the two together, Phil is somewhat a celebrity himself. To see Harry naked is a reflection of which he sees himself. Not naked, but confident in what he does.
Skin that is melting, deteriorating, or is all that is left implies that you are losing your defenses. Your guard is down. You are being worn down.
Also, he mentioned that Dan was filled with revenge at the end of the story, which means the relationships you have with others are important in learning about yourself. This anger symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others.
TLDR: To put it all together and not have it be a jumbled mess, this is what the story really means:
Phil is really close to the people he loves, but is still haunted by a burden of self acceptance, not only by himself but from other’s too. He has many great ideas and yet is scared to share them because he’s fearful of rejection.
Although he is confident, he’s overwhelmed by what’s going on inside his mind. So many ideas and creative outputs but no idea where to start or even how to describe them. The more he bottles up the more he gets emotional and can’t find a correct way to set them free because of the negativity inside his mind.
He has secrets, and the feeling of everyone watching him. Sometimes he feels defenseless, he has power behind one of the biggest secrets of all, which he knows can actually lead to new opportunities. But this secret is in agreement.
But the fear of rejection still rests on his mind. So many new projects and things that could happen if he could come clean but he possibly can’t! The fear of being held back by a “monster” that wasn’t meant to be created: himself and the love for another. He gets angry at himself because of where he stands in life. Trying to repress it only makes matters worse at times.
But still, there is warmth within all this dark and gloom and fear. He stays close to it. Even when his guard is down, or anger and frustration reigns from within, there’s comfort.
Because Dan will always be his comfort. No matter how fucking kinky he wants to be.
I find it interesting that even though they both have completely different stories, they’re still about the love they have for each other. How their stories are about Dan’s worst fears and Phil’s too. They basically declared it, and published it, right under our noses. You just gotta dig a bit to find it.
**Again - I’m not a professional I’m just doing this just for fun. This is also back from 2014-2015 and is probably no where accurate. But, it suddenly makes sense.
I doodled Jack getting revenge on Dan and Phil for using his Septiceyesam snake and saying they were “the real Jacksepticeye”. I don’t think Jack would take offence to them doing that. It’s just a doodle. ^_^