dad no omg
Morality just wants to be cool
i’m v aware that I’m not funny thanks, fite me
God, writing this made my brain hurt.
((this was originally supposed to be an angst but I’ll write that later))
Warnings: None (if I missed something make sure to message me!)
Morality really missed the old days.
As the oldest to appear in the mindscape, he had been the one to greet each new side with open arms and plenty of cookies!
But things have changed. They never sat together for meals, they barely talked anymore, barely even saw each other.
Morality just wanted things the way they used to be.
So, he did what anyone does when they want to know something. He grabbed his laptop and searched google.
“How to be a cool dad??” Was the first search he typed, waiting for the screen to load and give him his answers.
A short list of YouTube videos popped up, the first being, “the coOOL DAD LOL!!1!!¿!¿”
‘That seemed like a creditable source!’ Morality thought while he clicked on it, the transparent bubbles of the YouTube loading scroller rolled around his screen.
When the video loaded Morality immediately cringed at the bad quality. Everything was fuzzy, but he would gladly go through that for his kiddos.
A man in shiny gold parachute pants ran out, a snapback on backwards and shutter shades over his eyes. He ran into the crowd of kids and dabbed, neigh neighing away slowly as he kickflipped on a skateboard and rolled away, still dabbing, shouting “swag, yolo” and other various slang terms as he went.
Morality was in complete shock. Is…was that really how “Kool Kids” acted??
If that was really what he was supposed to do then… That’s what he would do.. I guess?
Still a little stiff, he toddled over to his closet,digging through the depths of the area to find his old clothes.
Anxiety stumbled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over his own feet as he walked to the coffee maker, pouring it into Prince’s dry bowl or Coco Puffs.
“Okay MCR, that was my bowl. “Prince said from by the fridge, the gallon of milk clutched in his hand.
Anxiety grabbed a spoon, taking a big mouthful of the coffee-cereal wreak with a smirk.“Get over it Aurora. Unless you like extra caffeinated Coco Puffs, it’s my bowl now. "He hefted himself onto the counter, taking another large bite to spite the fanciful side and sagging his shoulders against the microwave.
Logic was the next to enter the kitchen, grabbing a couple eggs from the fridge and starting to make himself a couple fried eggs. "I hope you didn’t use all the coffee to create your abomination of a breakfast."Logic muttered, casting a slightly irritated and disappointed look at the nearly empty coffee maker.
As the three made their respective breakfasts, it wouldn’t occur to them that this was the first time in weeks they had all been in the same room for more than a minute, or that Morality had yet to arrive.
But they were about to notice Morality. Oh boy were they about to.
Morality made a mental note that skateboarding on carpet was difficult, the wheels sinking into the plush rug underneath him. Slowly but surely he scooted his way to the kitchen, checking to make sure the baseball cap he got from Thomas was just perfectly crooked.
When Morality skated (when did he get a skateboard??) into the kitchen, Anxiety choked on his cereal.
The father figure was wearing a pair of silver hot pants with a tank top, snapback flung backwards over fluffy and wild hair. He had a shark tooth necklace and his normal lensless glasses were replaced by shutter shades.
He looked like a love child of the past and future fashion styles and honestly Anxiety was unsure how to react.
Through shutter shades Morality dabbed, giving Anxiety a fist bump. “What up my wiggity whack dude bros??” Morality asked, doing a quick cabbage patch before swaggering over to the fridge and pulling out a dank box of frozen waffles.
“My Krazy Kiddos just chillaxin in the digs?” He asked in the same over the top voice, dabbing twice.
“Morality what the hell has gotten into you??” Logic said, surprising them all. The teacher looked at Morality incredulously, his eyes wide.
“Some krazy Kool kidzs spirit!! I’m your cool pops, you whack dad!!” Morality proclaimed, ju-juing on that (non-existent) beat.
With that, his waffles popped and he rolled on out of the kitchen, leaving the rest of the sides to stare in horror.
Okay, Morality was becoming an issue, Logic decided.
He started to show up that way to videos to. He was screwing Thomas moral compass up and worst of all he kept using those stupid slang words.
Logic rarely understood Morality when he spoke, but this was too much. What did dank even mean???
This he spent much of his week avoiding Morality and plotting with Prince and Anxiety on how to get remold Morality back.
They approached him one day while he was in his room, spray painting slang words on his walls.
“Morality, we need to talk-”
Morality spun around, wearing four snapbacks at once and a mullet. “What’s up muh krazy kidz? How can your kool pops-icle help you out??”
Logic cringed, Prince taking over the conversation.
“Morality this is getting out of hand, why did you change yourself like this?? Why won’t you stop?”
Morality frowned, Prince was being super un-rad about this. “It’s all for you my special Bois!”
All three blinked. “What?”
Morality swagged up and down, a funky fresh beat all up in his noggin.
“My three favorite bros had been all separated which was v un-rad my broskis. But now that I’m hopping and popping you’ve been spending more clock wags together than in a long time babes. ”
It took a brief moment for them to decipher what Morality had said. Anxiety stepped up, pulling Morality into a hug. When he let go and stepped back, the snapbacks and mullet cane with him, Anxiety throwing them to the side.
“Morality. Dad. I’ll admit, I’ve been a but distant recently, but this is over the top. ”
Morality nodded dankly. “Yeah, i’m picking up what you’re throwing down. I just wanted it to be like old times, ya know?? When we would at least be chillaxin on the couch with a poppin movie and some hot corn…..”
They all stepped forward, embracing Morality tenderly.
Prince was the first to speak. “How about this, we can have movie and dinner nights??” Morality nodded softly, squeezing Prince’s swol bicep comfortingly.
Anxiety was next. “I’ll….. Hop and bop out of my room more often, how about that?” Morality nodded excitedly, a peek of his old self appearing behind the six pairs of shutter shades.
Logic finally stepped up. “I can make time for you all between my researching sessions…. I suppose. ” Morality squealed, grabbing all of them and pulling them into an embrace, a couple pairs of shades falling off.
“You guys are my baes…. And my ultimate fam.”
Just this once they rest decided to let that comment go, as it seemed to be affectionate.
But dank Morality would never be returning.