This punk will fuck you up. You press hard, she fights back harder. No matter what you do, you can’t pin her down and you can’t stop her. Your only hope is to blackmail her into submission, and that’s too much effort. Don’t fight Sarah Manning.
Alison (chances of you winning: 0%)
Do not fight this woman under any circumstances. She looks harmless, but she has killed people. She will probably kill you by accident while kicking your ass, then hide your body where no one will find it and sip fine wine over your grave. Don’t fight Alison Hendrix.
Cosima (chances of you winning: 90%)
You can totally win if you don’t give her enough time to science you. But she just wants to be your friend, why would you do that?? Don’t fight Cosima Niehaus.
Helena (chances of you winning: no)
Why the hell would you think that was a good idea? Run away as fast as you can. She will literally kill you. It will not be pretty. Even if you managed to land a hit at a vulnerable moment, it’d be like punching a butterfly and you would be the worst person in the world. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Helena.
Rachel (chances of you winning: 100%)
You’ll probably have three hit men following you the next day, but it’d be worth it to knock the smug look off her face. Do it. You know you want to. Fight Rachel Duncan. I’ll bring pizza.
Tony (chances of you winning: 50%)
His bark is worse than his bite, but he’s still pretty scrappy. Also, he’s being an ass. Go for it. Take your chances. Fight Tony Sawicki.
Beth (chances of you winning: 5%)
Beth is tough, she’ll kick your ass. Unless you can catch her by surprise at the end of a long run, you’re done. Probably don’t fight Beth Childs.
Jennifer (chances of you winning: why?)
What did Jennifer ever do to you? Why do you want to pick a fight with a schoolteacher? Go away. Don’t fight Jennifer Fitzsimmons.
Charlotte (chances of you winning: stop)
You can’t pick a fight with an eight-year-old what is wrong with you
Katja, Aryanna, Danielle, Janika
How are you gonna fight them when you’re in Toronto and you’re not even on the same continent? Get a grip. Go chill with Cosima and stop trying to fight people.
Daughter: Hey mom, I found some old DVDs in the basement. Can I watch them?
Me: Yeah go ahead. What are they?
Daughter: They all say Orphan Black on them.
Me: Sarah, call down your sisters, Alison, Cosima, Helena, Rachel, Beth, Katja, Jennifer, Janika, Aryanna, and Danielle also your brother Tony. It’s time for mommy to tell a story