A Masterclass in Acting by Tatiana Maslany (part I | part II | part III)

Which clone should you fight?

Sarah (chances of you winning: 5%)

This punk will fuck you up. You press hard, she fights back harder. No matter what you do, you can’t pin her down and you can’t stop her. Your only hope is to blackmail her into submission, and that’s too much effort. Don’t fight Sarah Manning.

Alison (chances of you winning: 0%)

Do not fight this woman under any circumstances. She looks harmless, but she has killed people. She will probably kill you by accident while kicking your ass, then hide your body where no one will find it and sip fine wine over your grave. Don’t fight Alison Hendrix.

Cosima (chances of you winning: 90%)

You can totally win if you don’t give her enough time to science you. But she just wants to be your friend, why would you do that?? Don’t fight Cosima Niehaus.

Helena (chances of you winning: no)

Why the hell would you think that was a good idea? Run away as fast as you can. She will literally kill you. It will not be pretty. Even if you managed to land a hit at a vulnerable moment, it’d be like punching a butterfly and you would be the worst person in the world. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Helena.

Rachel (chances of you winning: 100%)

You’ll probably have three hit men following you the next day, but it’d be worth it to knock the smug look off her face. Do it. You know you want to. Fight Rachel Duncan. I’ll bring pizza.

Tony (chances of you winning: 50%)

His bark is worse than his bite, but he’s still pretty scrappy. Also, he’s being an ass. Go for it. Take your chances. Fight Tony Sawicki.

Beth (chances of you winning: 5%)

Beth is tough, she’ll kick your ass. Unless you can catch her by surprise at the end of a long run, you’re done. Probably don’t fight Beth Childs.

Jennifer (chances of you winning: why?)

What did Jennifer ever do to you? Why do you want to pick a fight with a schoolteacher? Go away. Don’t fight Jennifer Fitzsimmons.

Charlotte (chances of you winning: stop)

You can’t pick a fight with an eight-year-old what is wrong with you

Katja, Aryanna, Danielle, Janika

How are you gonna fight them when you’re in Toronto and you’re not even on the same continent? Get a grip. Go chill with Cosima and stop trying to fight people.

Me years later

Daughter: Hey mom, I found some old DVDs in the basement. Can I watch them?
Me: Yeah go ahead. What are they?
Daughter: They all say Orphan Black on them.
Me: Sarah, call down your sisters, Alison, Cosima, Helena, Rachel, Beth, Katja, Jennifer, Janika, Aryanna, and Danielle also your brother Tony. It’s time for mommy to tell a story

Re: Little Things I Loved/Gave Me Pain in “4,722 Hours”

  • Jemma got her love for the stars from her father.
  • Fitz and Jemma have spent the last two birthdays apart.
  • The team actually celebrated Jemma’s birthday when she was at HYDRA, cake and call.
  • TARDIS cake. (Trip and Skye probably ate half of it.)
  • Jemma saying “maths” like the British person she really is. (I’m looking at you, Fitz and Hunter.)
  • “Should I wear a dress, or would that be weird?” ~Jemma ‘I Wear Jeans Unless I’m Undercover’ Simmons.
  • Every single second of Leopold Fitz.
  • Jemma worried that after over ten years of friendship, she and Fitz will run out of things to talk about right in the middle of their first official date.
  • “His name is like your favorite word.” (Decidedly Fitz, not Leo.)
  • She had a video on her phone that was over a year old. She has more pictures of Fitz. That picture is the one she chooses to talk to.
  • The little cheer she does when she kills the monster plant. (”You’re dinner, biatch!” too, but that was a given.)
  • The fact that Fitz engineered an iPhone battery to last for months.
  • As of “4,722 Hours,” Iain De Caestecker and Elizabeth Henstridge are the only two actors to have appeared in every single episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Deleted scene from the next AOS episode:
  • Robbie: So Fitz-
  • Mack: -me and the guys were wondering-
  • Coulson: -we need advice on how to win over our respective ladies and since you're the only one in a committed relationship, we were hoping you could share some pointers.
  • Fitz: Wellllllllll-
  • Robbie, Coulson, and Mack: *take out their phones to take notes*
  • Fitz: First you need to wait ten years before you even think about asking her out.
  • Robbie: Uhhhh-
  • Fitz: Then, get betrayed by your brother figure, leading you into a situation where you have to sacrifice yourself for your girl. Then for the next few months, miscommunicate like your lives depended on it.
  • Mack: Fitz this isn't really-
  • Fitz: Then if all of this goes accordingly, she'll admit her feelings to you before you go into another life and death situation. But then she'll get sent off to some mythical death place where she'll fall for some random dude. Don't worry, it's temporary and has no true long term consequences.
  • Coulson: Fitz! We just needed some simple tips-
  • Fitz: Then, get into a heated argument with her, which should lead into the two of you passionately kissing. That step is one of my favorites. Afterwards, it should be smooth sailing once the random guy dies and you two reset your relationship because of all that shit I said earlier. Was that helpful?
  • Robbie: ...
  • Coulson: ...
  • Mack: ...