Surprising No One
Tucker clinically scrolled through his phone as he noisily sipped from his mixed soda-fountain concoction. “It’s official, dude: half of the school wants to jump your bones.”
Danny slammed his head on their usual booth’s table. “This is it. This is what finally destroys me. Move over Ghost King, it’s my real nemesis: necrophilic memes.”
“Homoerotic necrophillic memes,” Tucker corrected him.
“Thank you, Tucker.”
“I got ya, dude,” he went back to his phone and noisy straw sucking.
“I’m honestly surprised something like this didn’t happen sooner,” Sam said. “You’ve been flying around
in a skintight black jumpsuit
for the past three years saving a bunch of hormonal teenagers like a real-life superhero. What did you think was going to happen?”
“I dunno. A fan club, some webcomics, girls with my face on their shirts? I wasn’t really thinking of that in the middle of stopping all the murder-happy ghosts trying to- wait is my jumpsuit really that tight?”
Sam told Tucker. “Break it to him gently.”