dangly parts

joyfullynervouscreator  asked:

in a medieval setting, a wolf takes a bite of someone's upper arm(outside), but it's killed before it manages to take the whole chunk of flesh, so we're left with a roughly palm-sized dangly piece. MC binds it as best he can, but medical assistance beyond water is 4h away. Would medic stitch up the dangly part or would it be left with dressings? I want a local infection that spreads to a systemic incl fever & hallucinations. Realistic? Assume there will be heavy scarring either way, but 1/2

2/2 wondering what it would look like? MC being male, well-trained and reasonably healthy(it’s end of winter, so slight malnutrition probably). Could infection be treated effectively(herbal medicine is confusing) or is medical options purely symptomatic(cooling of fevers, draining the wound, etc.)? I’m not intending to kill the character, though I’d like a reasonable recovery period post-healing(MC being a warrior, I assume stretching of scar-tissue/PT will happen) Thanks for being epic!

Hey there! Thanks for your question! 

So you bundled a lot of questions in, and that means I kind of need to give you the short version of each of these questions. Keep in mind that the mindset of people in medieval / fantasy worlds may not match the modern understanding of medicine; things like germ theory aren’t really A Thing, everything is filthy, everything is treated by bleeding, etc. etc. 

Will they stitch the wound? If they’re a 21st century doc, no, we’ve learned that bite wounds do better without formal closure than with; same with “gouging” type injuries. I don’t know the mindset of the time, but suturing a wound like this is a good way to trap bacteria. 

Can a local infection become sepsis? Yes. This is realistic. Go with my blessing. *anoints your story in blood* This comes with fever as part of the package. Hallucinations are possible and may be tactile (touch), scent, auditory, or visual. They can be quite vivid. 

Also, one thing. In the worst of it, have the character pee very little, and have that pee be dark and very smelly. It will gladden the blackened stone my doctors keep insisting is a “heart.” 

(Side Note: My favorite high, by the way, is actually a rockin’ fever; unlike many, I enjoy them. But then, I don’t do The Drugz, so maybe it’s as close as I get to an altered state?) 

What will scarring look like? First, we’re talking about an uneven and irregular wound, and it will take time to heal. It will scab first, then knit, then scar; the scar could be what I call “textural” (not discolored, not raised, but evident), hypertrophic (red and raised), or keloid (thick, raised, rubbery). 

Can infection be treated effectively with herbs? 

Dammit, Jim, I’m a critical care medic, not an herbalist! 

Seriously though, there are a lot of herbs and materials that have antibacterial properties; silver is one (silver nitrate cream is a very common cream in wound care in the modern day, and oil of thyme, basil, and some other plants are used as preservatives). A great many peoples have come up with herbal antiseptics; I just don’t know enough about them to recommend any. 

James Duke, PhD with crazy medical botany creds, doesn’t cover bacterial infection in The Green Pharmacy, but in the section on fungal infections he mentions licorice*, teatree oil*, garlic*, black walnut, chamomile, henna, lemongrass, or turmeric, all as having antifungal properties (and thus may play a role in local healing herbs). Look up herbal remedies of the day in the part of the world you’re emulating. 

As for treatments for fever, Duke mentions willow (from which aspirin is derived)*, meadowsweet, elder, ginger, peppermint, and red pepper. 

Asterisked* items are reported to be more effective. I’m not qualified to talk about how salves or ointments might be prepared, but I know willow bark tea is a known fever reducer.  

I hope this helped!! 

xoxo, Aunt Scripty


[Maim Your Character: How Injuries Work in Fiction is out on Mondaaaaay!!!

[Free email course: injuries in fiction!]


“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Nate. Thought I’d introduce myself to the new person with the nice garden. I live in that house right next to yours, with the big windows.”

Oh God. Not only did he live near her, he was her neighbour and his house had big windows! What if she looked in and his long-interesting-looking-dangly-man-parts were viewable through the window! Laelia stared at him and realised that she hadn’t responded. Now he was going to think she was a strange, silent pervert! 


She waved her hands. Why was she waving? Now he was going to think of her as a strange waving girl who waved even though someone was right in front of her. 

He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated for a moment. His green eyes surveyed her face before an unreadable expression surfaced. 

“You look…” 

“I know… I know. About the Bluffs, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to look! It was just there! I was going to tell you that the water is a ‘no swim zone’ but I didn’t expect for you to be… to be… naked. I’m not a pervert, I swear. I just couldn’t stop! I was-”

“Wait,” he chucked, an easy smile formed on his face, “That was you? I was going to say you remind me of that artist, Chelsie Philomel, but now that you brought it up, it was you, wasn’t it? I wouldn’t have guessed that I would meet my new neighbour like that.”

She wanted to die. 

anonymous asked:

how many variations of the word "penis" are there in TSC

I gotta recite this from memory, so I might not get it all. Anywho…

Cock is definitely the most common. Just checked, and it shows up 69 times. (how ironic)

Dick and penis are mentioned once each, I think.

Pisser and worm are mentioned a few times. Obviously, these are not flattering terms.

Hose is used once. 

As for references to testicles, we’ve got balls and stones. And for the entire junk area, we’ve got nethers, dangly parts, and bits

I think that’s it, but I could be wrong. 

The Professor (Part 4)

The Professor Masterlist ~ Previous Part

…Life brought you the end of college. Before you knew it, there was only a week left till your college graduation. Your college experience had been a series of ups and downs. Amy had pranked you one time, convincing you that Professor Evans was thinking of getting married – she’d gone to great lengths of creating a series of fake Facebook posts, pretending that he’d said “It’ll happen soon, I know it!” – in regards to a fake engagement.

It was nerve-wracking, the last 6 months. You kinda knew what you wanted to do; either something to do with researching information/managing information or a writer/editor. You had your targets set, you knew how you wanted to lead the rest of your life. Amy wanted to do something similar, so it was good that you could have your best friend close by. The pressure could be felt; how much you were pushing yourself to do well. Your only problem was, it was hard to find a job.

You and Amy had searched on multiple occasions for a job for the two of you, but ended up empty-handed. You felt helpless, and it really was out of your hands. After a month of looking, Amy suggested you both go to Professor Evans for help. Thankfully, he had an idea. 

“A close friend of mine has an office, and they manage historic information, edit it if it’s wrong. Is that the sorta thing you’re looking for?”

“Yeah, it is,” you replied with a nod.

“Okay, I’ll uh, swing by the office tonight and put a word in for both of you, sound good?”

“Thank you so much Professor, you have no idea how much you’ve helped us, we really appreciate this,” you told him.

“Don’t mention it, it was the least I could do for my best students,” he said, smiling, with a wink.

Keep reading

blind!thranduil makes even more sense when you consider the relatively unornamented style of his clothing as well as the fact that he doesn’t appear to be wearing any jewelry whatsoever because those kinds of things would make extraneous sound that would impede his ability to accurately perceive the world around him

also his crown has no apparent moving parts or dangly bits to make jingly sounds near his head

blind!thranduil makes so much sense holy geez

It Comes Naturally on the Floor

My entry for the Perc’ahlia Festival of Happiness. Written for @crazytealady26 who gave me the prompt  “Pranking Vax by kissing and then actually falling for each other”. It came out slightly differently, but I hope you will like it regardless!

Also on AO3

It was Grog, strangely enough, who came up with the idea.

Vex didn’t know why she was surprised;  honestly, if there was any set of subjects that would make Grog’s mind work beyond violence, it was things related to sex, ale or fucking with her brother.

Keep reading


…is character solidifying Sunday, I think? I don’t remember the days and all those TUMBLR MEME THINGS. But I should have some downtime almost all tomorrow to sit around and daydream, and that kinda stuff. Maybe I’ll get a proper picture of all their stupid faces together sometime but if you have questions or want to THINK of questions, for anyone (seriously: Sebastian, Bjorn, Sage, Zia, Solaris, Arch, the Torolfs, Roscoe, Bedrock, Oktyabrina, Campbell, Clifford, Nicodemus, Garridan, Felicity, anyone you find in my OCs tag that doesn’t get attributed to someone cooler) or anything (?????) , I’ll answer any I get with words or a picture, if I am feeling well, tomorrow.

Fun last photo: The Patriarchy Chair

Lyndsey and I laughed a lot about this chair all week. These chairs are specifically made for men and their ‘dangly parts’ as one of the technicians calls them, because heaven forbid a man might hurt his dangly bits while sitting in a chair.