So, here’s how the sequence actually goes: Trini and the other Rangers are sharing personal stories around a fire, and Trini explains how she’s preferred to keep her family out of her day-to-day life and her relationships. “Boyfriend trouble?” Black Ranger Zack (Ludi Lin) asks. “Yeah, boyfriend trouble,” Trini says — maybe sarcastically? It’s hard to tell, as Becky G delivers 99% of her lines with a sardonic lilt. Zack squints, then asks, “Girlfriend trouble?” Trini doesn’t respond.
Beauty and the Beast:
The Gaston-adoring sidekick LeFou (Josh Gad) shares a two-second dance with another man in the movie’s finale. It’s a scene, as Pop Culture Happy Hour panelist Glen Weldon put it when he tweeted, that’s “exactly the kind of throwaway gay joke Hollywood’s always churned out.” It wasn’t the only one either — LeFou’s dance partner is a character who, in an earlier scene, is shown being unexpectedly pleased with the women’s clothing he’d been forcefully clad in by a combative Madame Garderobe.
And Star Trek Beyond:
Then there was last year’s Star Trek Beyond, which, also before its release, made the reveal — one treated as a bigger deal in interviews than it ended up being onscreen — that its incarnation of Lt. Hikaru Sulu (John Cho) was gay. It did this by introducing a never-named-on-screen husband, played by screenwriter Doug Jung, who Sulu was shown pulling into an affectionate but not especially nonplatonic embrace during a visit as they strolled away with their daughter. “If you blinked, you missed it,” said George Takei, who played Sulu on the original Star Trek television show. “There are others who are dealing with LGBT issues much more profoundly.”
All three studios made a big deal out of making LGBT characters textual, but they still assume their audiences are just as narrow-minded as they are.
In a world in which How to Get Away With Murder plunked a scene of implied rimming between Jack Falahee and Conrad Ricamora onto primetime network TV two years ago, it seems particularly eyerolly to give a studio movie a pat on the back for including a shot of two men with their arms around each other, in a totally gay way, they swear.
Some of the best things I’ve heard in Heathers rehearsal so far:
“Oh no! My shirt, where’d it go?” followed by really slow and awkward finger guns
“Free pizza, and we don’t even have to buy it a pussy!”
“Those stupid tree thumpers”
*dramatically pirouettes and leaps in* “BIG SWORDFIGHT IN HER MOUTHHH”
“Aww that seems like a relationship that would last.” “Yeah until one of them blows up” “I guess you could say their love is….. explosive”
*Our choreographer screaming like one of those sheep used in parodies back in vintage youtube days whenever she gets frustrated or needs to get people’s attention.*
“So you’re going to do a Jesus lift” “A WHAT” “Just put your arms out and they’ll lift you like you’re Jesus resurrecting from the cross”
“Welcome to Newsies on steroids.”
“Be the closeted gay we all need.”
“The first step to any good plan is murder.”
“How much bitch is enough bitch though?”
“Imagine having to explain to someone like ““oh how’d you break your tailbone?” ““Oh I booty-popped too hard.””
“When we go off to makeover Veronica, can she still have the monocle, but, hear me out, it’s now bedazzled.”
“I have to check the historical accuracy of bedazzling in the ‘80s.”
“Okay, but what if we made it gay?”
“COSTUME NOTE: SOMEONE MAKE RAM PARTY SLIPPERS!” “What if they’re like bunny slippers, but with tiny party hats?!”
“This is Ram, he’s not very nice, but somehow my best friend still wants to fuck him.”
“Your whole bio better be about how much you love and respect women or else I can’t help you when your ass is being kicked.”
“I paired you guys together because you say he’s your sort of boyfriend later.” *Kurt proceeds to emark in various sexual dance endeavors with multiple other women* “That’s where the sort of comes into play….”
“SHUT UP HEATHER” *bursts out crying*
Our original Chandler dropped out so our original Duke got promoted to her role and just looks at me and says “Oh my god this is the most Heather Duke thing that has ever happened to me”
“That’s a school cheer?!?!”
“Real question: WHO HAS A FUCKING LOCK ON THEIR CLOSET?”
“What if when she makes you spit up the pills, your wig flies off?” “Oh no you’ve discovered the real reason behind my crisis, I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE”
“Maybe he should take up knitting or something as a hobby rather than therapedic murder.”
“My character description is just internal screaming.”
“Who needs a dance partner when you have weed?”
“I feel bad having to ask but was that supposed to be a dick joke?”
“Do I get extra points if one of the pills hits someone in the face?”
“I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure I’m still gay”
“Why didn’t they just throw the bomb and run or something, like why are they so determined to die?”
*recites Blue Reprise as demonic slam poetry because we didn’t have rehearsal tracks yet*
“Veronica, it’s not a phase. I’m just naturally a slightly psychotic bag of angst with great hair.”
*music director teaching us Blue* ”They’ll curl up on your face. And purr like-” *slowly looks up from music and proceeds to put his head in his hands* “There’s moments that I evaluate my life and this is definitely one of them.”
A pretty bittersweet event, emotions jump back and forth rapidly but its really stood out as one of my favourite moments in Bea’s timeline.
I’ve had another ago at some NITW art and drew this lively scene that stuck in my head long after it had ended. There’s something about watching characters dance and express themselves through movement that opens up windows of personality. When I dance I hope to believe I can look anywhere near as good as Mae does!
jin: small kisses were being trailed up your neck as jin’s hands caressed your body. slow hands slowly pushed the hem of your tshirt higher and higher and jin gripped onto your hips. “god i love your hips, baby,” he whispered into your ear, “you’re so pretty for me.” a blush crept up your neck as you shook your head, “jin no…” “shush, princess,” jin bit down onto the supple flesh over your hip bone, “don’t finish that thought, you’re gorgeous.” jin used his tongue and his fingers to make sure you knew just how gorgeous you were.
yoongi: yoongi’s sharp thrusts drew out loud moans from your throat as you tightened your arms around his neck. earlier that day, you had been insecure about your body, saying that your thighs were too fat along with your stomach, and yoongi was not standing for it. “you’re fucking gorgeous baby,” a hickey was placed on your neck, “say it.” he growled in a voice that you knew had no room for ‘no’. “i’m gor-,” the next thrust hit the most sensitive spot inside you, “i’m gorgeous,” you moaned. “that’s right, baby,” yoongi said, “my gorgeous babygirl.”
hoseok: “but hoseok,” your voice cracked as you protested his pleas, “this dress makes me look fat.” your face scrunched up in pain as tears flooded your eyes and one slipped down your cheek. “baby.. baby, no,” hoseok shook his head frantically as he came to stand behind you while you were looking at yourself in the floor length mirror. “you’re fucking beautiful,” his arms wrapped around the silk dress and your waist, “i’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than you, baby,” he continued. soft hands pulled your arms away from covering your stomach, “i love you, all of you.”
“wow,” you said as you watched the pretty girl on the screen dance with her partner in the cheesy romcom, “she’s really pretty,” you said as you slowly curled in on yourself. “yeah,” namjoon agreed, “but you’re prettier~” he teased as he kissed your cheek and cuddled you closer to his body. “don’t be jealous of her, baby, you’re drop dead fucking gorgeous.” he nibbled on your ear as you giggled, “so pretty, amazing, caring, smart, and beautiful,” he whispered into your ear. “joonieee stoppp,” you laughed as his fingers began to tickle your sides. “see? even your laugh is beautiful, never doubt yourself, princess.”
jimin: the water splashed around your and jimin’s bodies and bubbles fluttered into the air as you squealed, “JIMIN!” jimin’s adorable laugh filled the air as he blew bubbles into your face. “this was supposed to be romantic, park jimin,” you huffed while trying not to laugh yourself. jimin reached forward and pulled your hips to have you sit on top of his thighs. “jimin, don’t, i’m heavy,” you whispered the end as you tried to scoot backward off of his legs. “you are not,” jimin grabbed hard onto your hips and tugged you back onto his lap, “heavy.” you giggled as he started to kiss up your neck, “jiminieee.” “i love you baby, don’t ever think you’re anything less than perfect.”
taehyung: your hips swayed to the music as you flipped the pancakes that you were cooking for you and taehyung. turning around, you went to go get the orange juice from the fridge but instead you were met face to face with a grinning taehyung. “don’t let me stop you,” he winked suggestively as he began to sway to the music as well. your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment as you remembered you were only in a pair of booty shorts and one of taehyung’s tshirts. “tae, you’re embarrassing me…” you covered your face with your hands. “hush none of that,” he pulled his hands away from your face, “you’re gorgeous,” he planted a kiss on your neck, “gives me something to grab onto yeah?” “KIM TAEHYUNG”
jungkook: sweat poured down your forehead and your back as you tried to keep up with jungkook while learning the dance moves to ‘dope’. you had wanted to dance with jungkook for a long time, to see him dance up close. “i almost have it,” you said as you pushed yourself harder, trying as hard as you could to get the move right. “babe it’s okay,” jungkook said as he walked up to you, taking your hand in his, “this is a hard dance, it took all of us hours to get it right.” you huffed, “i knew, i just want to live up to being the golden maknae’s girlfriend, and it’s kinda hard with all this,” you said gesturing to your body. jungkook growled, “don’t ever think you’re anything less than perfect, baby,” he said, “besides, watching you dance like that is really doing something to me,” he said as he ground his hips onto your backside, “let’s go home, yeah beautiful?”
Some of y’all are asking about the ritual with the scotch, so HERE IS A STORY THAT SPANS SEVERAL GENERATIONS OF SHENNANIGANS.
So my dad’s side of the family is a bunch of rowdy farm boys with a dark sense of humor. My oldest uncle Tim was the first to get married and the rest of them orchestrated this complicated, almost medieval style dance routine on the dance floor where they would switch dance partners mid-song and slowly danced the bride towards the door, swept her up, put her in the back of the pickup truck, and took her away.
Tim doesn’t notice until the song ends. This was in the 70′s, way before cell phones. The front desk of the hotel gets a call, it’s one of my uncles. “We have your wife. The price is one bottle of scotch.”
He’s like ‘what is this shit?’ And he figures they can’t hold out too long. They have to come back sometime. No. They are literally driving her around the block several times, stopping at pay phones to check in to see if he’s gotten the ransom. This goes on for about an hour.
So he goes out and gets a bottle of scotch, puts it by the door as they drive by and everyone returns.
All the boys got married in the order of their birth and let me just say… they’re not above petty payback. Next one up is Jay who just… seems to forget entirely that his brothers are complete jackasses. Also, he was kind of the ringleader at the last one so there’s no way they could do it to him!
Haha… ha…. haaaaaaaa… oh, uncle Jay. You sweet summer child… who is also several decades older than me.
Bride gets kidnapped, almost in the same manner as Tim’s. The price, as always, is a bottle of scotch. But Jay… oh… Jay…
Jay just HAD to get his ass married on a Sunday and this is Indiana, buck-o. There ain’t no alcohol sales on Sundays. No liquor stores, no grocery stores, no convenience stores. Nowhere. But there WAS a bar at the Marriott holding the reception. So he had to pay the front desk $75 for a bottle of scotch maybe worth $20 so he could get his wife back.
A pattern emerges.
My uncle Moe was next in line. They…. eloped for reasons, but for the purposes of this story we will say that he avoided a situation where his brothers could steal his wife. It’s kind of a personality thing with him, we’ve noticed. Just… ‘oh! Let me avoid this conflict entirely.’
Next up is my dad, who is a fun-loving dude who had his reception at a bowling alley and he was NOT, I repeat: NOT- going to have this night ruined by larceny when there is IMPORTANT BOWLING TO BE DONE. Buys a bottle of scotch and and presents it to his brothers with a big audience just so no one can claim that he didn’t. Everyone has fun.
Moe’s first marriage falls through, and I’m not saying that there’s superstitious reasons for this but I’m just saying- he most certainly DID NOT present a bottle of scotch as an offering at the reception so we must reasonably assume that this had something to do with it. He gets married again and you better believe that there was a bottle of scotch waiting for his brothers at their table.
So this tradition carried on into the next generation. No one actually expects that the four of them are up to kidnapping anyone when they’re well into their 50′s, but no one is about to risk it. There is a bottle of scotch at the table where the brothers sit at every wedding.
But my cousin Julia is a perfectionist and if there is any detail that might go wrong, she is going to obsess over it. Because of this, she has a tendency to overcompensate to make sure that NOTHING goes wrong. NOTHING.
She plans her big moment TO THE MINUTE and a week before the wedding she has this revelation… she has heard… stories.
Around the same time, my grandma is moving out of her old house and she’s inviting family members to rifle through her old things before she gives them to Goodwill. Me, my dad, Tim, and Jay are all there. We’re about to leave when Moe comes up the drive way with a BIG BOX.
And Gran is like ‘I don’t need more stuff… I don’t need more stuff.. what the fresh hell have you brought to me this time, son of mine?’
He sets it on the floor and it clinks.
“Julia has ordered me to bring this as a preemptive offer to ensure that there will be no need for a ransom.”
He has brought 24 bottles of scotch. Each brother, including himself, can have six bottles. Whatever debt might have been incurred from his first marriage has been paid off. Her children, and her children’s children, and her children’s children’s children… will no longer need to live in fear of kidnapping on their wedding night.
This is a sharp contrast to my sister-in-law, who learned of this tradition a week before her wedding, went out and bought a bottle of scotch, slammed it down on their table, and told them to fight for it.